alphamisery

Well, my bum is glued to no sweets and reading, but running is difficult to maintain. Fortunately, I've made my decision to take a class in yoga next semester. While it doesn't absolve me of my current problem maintaining running, I'm hoping it's just a matter of me not enjoying running a whole lot. I think if I try something new I might improve, and taking it as a class will definitely keep me on track! I haven't quite given up on my running. Even once a week is better than nothing, but I need to push myself more. I think the real problem is my dad used to text me every morning to make sure I ran and he's been busy lately and not keeping on track himself. Not putting any blame on him, of course, it's just hard to stay motivated when the man you look up to to keep you on track isn't doing his own work. But yeah. Feeling better, going to keep trying.

Today went well. I ran this morning, no sweets, and tried to stay positive. I might try my dorm mates if I don't keep up this week. I'll have to think of a lesser payment, but it sounds like a good idea.

Well I am a bucket of irresponsibility. I've not been running at all (once last week, again) and I had two sweets days last week. Overall miserably failing at my goals. I could make excuses like I had a massive pile of work piled on me, but running at six shouldn't be affected like that. I'm going to try harder this week. If I run twice I'll be happy. I don't know why I'm not motivated. I feel like I want the change but I'm not going for it. It astounds me that I've let myself slip so far. And what's worse is that even this hasn't helped get me off my ass.

Week 2 Grades Goal 1: F Goal 2: D Goal 3: B Goal 4: n/a I didn't run a mile but my practice on Monday, and so I am doomed to my F for bad behavior. I did do my C25K practice Monday, but I needed sleep desperately. Now I'm back to being up at an early hour without being wiped out and forcing myself out of bed. So now I'll get out of bed and force myself to run. One week of fucking up does not equal a challenge of fucking up until I give up! Sweets were good. I had candy at debate practice Wednesday, so a sweet day, but otherwise I stayed far from temptation. I didn't even feel the need to get sweets this week, so I think I'm kicking the habit (again, and this time I'll make it last). However, I have been eating takeout, which isn't good, but I'll cut back this challenge and eliminate it next one. And reading is going fine. I couldn't read as much as I would have liked last week (and this upcoming week looks dim with all the school-related projects I have going on), but I'm about halfway through after two weeks. My second book will probably be shorter (I've been meaning to read The Fault in Our Stars so that will be a great opportunity for a quick read). I'm positive I can at least get a B on this challenge, and that's all I can really ask. So the challenge is going. Not strong by any means, but it's going. I fell into some temptation by sleeping in (and staying over at my boyfriends for a nice warm body), but seeing that mistake clearly, I think I'll stick to my room and just visit on the weekends. I'll kick running back up and if I make As the next four weeks, I'll be averaging a high C or low B. And for the C25K, I can make a medium B. Now it's just a matter of sticking with it and no more slacking off.

Well, it turns out college is much more of a time suck that you'd ever believe. No, I am merely very bad at keeping up with the internet. You see, my computer won't log me in, so that limits me to my boyfriend's computer and the ones in the library. And this week was a hassle. All sorts of tests and assignments and crazy amounts of work. I should have updated, and this isn't an excuse, but forgive me my sins. Ugh. Anyway, grades up next.

I was a bad challenger yesterday and didn't run, and today I also skipped out on the running in favor of catching up on sleep. I also allowed today to be a sweet day because I needed it. That's all my update. Super tired so it's off to bed I go.

Day 8 Today was good. I did week 2, day 1 of C25K, so on track. I did have half a pumpkin thing at McCallie that my boyfriend gave me, but since it was a very tiny amount and wasn't on my own initiative, I'm not going to count today as a sweet day. I'm slowly chomping away at The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and I've been feeling pretty good. Tomorrow should be just as nice.

Week 1 Grades Goal 1: D Goal 2: n/a Goal 3: B Goal 4: n/a So not too bad. Of course goal 2 will have a grade this week, but goal 4 must wait until the end to have a proper grade. Nothing to be too proud of, but at least I'm sticking to it, and that's what matters.

I do take your advice in mind, but I find it harder to not binge when I'm allowing myself a little. It's a slippery slope. One yummy thing here, another thing there, and soon I'm crashing and sobbing and hating myself. It's easier to go cold turkey, at least for me. Less temptation to cheat with a little extra.

Weekend Update Sorry I wasn't on this weekend. I had a debate tournament and spent all my time debating. Fortunately, I managed to stay on track with the sweets thing. Really proud there. Since I didn't do much of anything, there's not much to say.

Day 3, part 2 Okay, so today went well. I did have some fried shrimp, but since that's not a desert-type food, I'm counting it okay (next challenge we'll tackle that obstacle). Two salads today. Very proud. Got a lot of research done for my classes, so yay, and debate tournament tomorrow. Oh, and I've read 43 pages of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It's pretty great so far. I'm feeling good today. Now I've just got to keep it up for six more weeks.

Wow. You are so much more on top of this than me. Very impressive. * claps you in a masculine fashion on shoulder * Good work, son. By the way, are you planning on NaNoWriMo-ing it up next challenge? I want to restart my goal of writing every day for the November one (NaNo just falls in line) and having lots of buddies would be good, I think.

Day 3, part 1 While I'm here, I'm going to go ahead and say I did my mile this morning. It was tough, I've definitely lost my stride, but I got through the whole thing in 12:35. It's not the fastest I've ever done, but considering my muscles ache like the dickens and my breathing is horrendous, I'm proud. Now I'm on my way to the dining hall to get my breakfast to go and try and make yesterday a mistake that I'm learning from.

Day 2 So yesterday was a big, great downward spiral. I didn't do my C25k practice (and I'm not going to tomorrow because I have to be up at 5:30 to go to a debate competition). I've decided to start it next Monday, fresh and what have you. It's easiest. Then I had a doughnut during my biology class break. They had extra in the upstairs part of the honors building and we got invited and I was like "one doughnut" which is the exact bad thing to do because it just got worse from there. I didn't resist temptation through the rest of the day, eating Chinese for lunch (which isn't a sweet but still not a good option), and then during my debate meeting I had candy followed by a lambda meeting where I got to put a condom on a dildo and ate like three cookies and a couple pieces of this absolutely delicious brownie concoction called an "Oh My Lord" bar. And then my boyfriend got worried because it made me depressed, so he made me stay at his place and I looked at myself in the mirror and starting sobbing seeing all my hard work from over the summer slip away. Which fortunately led to him taking a big supportive step in outlining how I could get healthier and fight the temptation I face at the food court and at the dining hall. Basically, I'm going to start getting my breakfast to go (only protein, no carbs unless a fruit once or twice a week), eating my lunch at the food court because they have the best salad place you could ever want, and then for dinner making a salad to go so I don't sit around looking at all the bad foods and potential pit falls. He even worked in subway once a week before debate (since otherwise I wouldn't get dinner), and I'm going to pile on the lettuce during those trips and pretend carbs are okay. I've had pretty bad problems with almost being anorexic (not physically, but mentally) and it still has a very dark cloud over my head, so I hope this and his support will get me to where I need to be. Anyway, sorry for not updating yesterday. Wednesdays are always my busy days. It's good to get it off my chest.

I think it is. I've been battling with self-issues for a little while now (thankfully I have a boyfriend who is all about helping me get over that), and I just think starting fresh and clean, no judgement, is best for me. Especially with running help. Stretching is the bane of my existence. I'll definitely build up the confidence to go talk to them. My dad actually read it and recommended I read it during college to help with my transitioning. I've not really gotten into the core of it yet, but it's really good so far. * salutes *

Aw, thanks. I tried to make it a little more concrete this time around. Flexibility is not your friend in trying to keep goals. At least it's not for me. Summer routines are just as hard to stick with as new routines are to make. Trust me. It's crazy hard to not get lazy.

I don't know. Moving on just didn't feel honest. I know I finished one thing completely, but my running and my writing fell by the wayside so much that I just can't count a small success against the big failures. I mean, if you mess up on the tutorial, you've got to redo it before moving on, right? I think I need a clean start as a nobody noobie. I'm honestly not sure about my guild. I'm thinking of just doing adventurer once I finish this one. I want to get generally fit before I class (and hopefully multi class as my skills improve). I don't think it'll be that much of a problem at the early stages. I'm starting C25k at the beginning, so that's hardly even running at all. Once I get to five weeks I'll probably reduce the mile to a fast walk so I don't mess myself up. As for now, though, I'll probably be fine. It's hard to resist those sweets, especially when my skinny super metabolism boyfriend sneaks them. * sigh * But I'm doing my best to say no. Hopefully it sticks more than one day. As for the fiction vs nonfiction, I've got a few books piled up of both sorts, including some hard science fiction. Right now I'm going nonfiction, but that's mostly just because I wanted to switch up textbook reading for self help reading. Please get on my case. I need to update this like my life depends on it. Although be kind on the weekends. I may not have access to the internet 24/7. And I'll definitely get on yours. Tomorrow. I am super pooped and I will read it while waiting for class to start.

Day 1 I went for my mile run this morning and it was great. I got like 12:30-ish, so no real decline in ability, although it did feel a ton more strenuous than it should have. Also, there was a donut decorating contest that my boyfriend entered and I successfully avoided. I'm still eating carbs, and probably a little bit too much at that, but a step at a time, right? Sweets have been my biggest thing, and if I can avoid large, luscious donuts, I can do anything. And as far as reading goes, I just started The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It turns out that I only had like six pages left in Game of Thrones so I finished that last night and picked up a random book from my shelf. So Day 1, so far, so good.

Okay! So I did not anticipate the move to college would be as difficult and time-consuming as it actually was, and I got off track, and my last challenge failed. I've technically participated in a challenge before, but since I failed utterly and completely, I'm back on the beginner's circuit looking for redemption. Main Goal: Get into a healthier daily routine. I'm not asking much, just a little more health in my life. Goal 1: Run a mile, every day. Simple and succinct. I got off track with my 5k running practice last challenge, and now I feel horrible (haven't run in like two weeks and I can feel it). To fix it, I'll run at least a mile Monday-Friday. Weekends off for slight rest. A - 5 runs a week B - 4 runs a week C - 3 runs a week D - 2 runs a week F - 1 or less runs a week Goal 2: C25k I really liked 5ks when I was up to them. I am certainly not now, but I'd like to get there again. This is a pass/fail goal, I think, but I'll do a grading scale anyway. A - 3 practices a week C - 2 practices D - 1 practice F - No practices Edit: Since week 1 started on a Tuesday and I'm going to be gone Friday (tomorrow as I'm writing this), I've decided to go easy on myself and say this challenge starts Monday of Week 2. Goal 3: Cut out sweets Sweets are hard to resist in college, especially with a meal plan. From here on out, no more. Or, at least, I'll try. A - no sweets B - 1 sweet day/week C - 2 sweet days/week D - 3 sweet days/week F - more than 4 sweet days a week Goal 4: Reading Simple: try and read something other than textbooks. The following do not include the last forty pages of Game of Thrones. A - finish two novels by the end of the challenge B - finsh one and a half novels C - finish one novel D - finish half a novel F - don't even start a new book (or don't finish Game of Thrones) Motivation: You can do this, kiddo. You want to be proud every time you look in the mirror, not upset about how you've messed up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get those sneakers back on. We're going running. Tiny Mini Goal: Update this every day. Just one or two sentences. I know if I do it, I'll stay motivated. It was because I stopped looking at it that I got sidetracked. No more. Update every day, no grade, just know it's good for me.

Week 3, Day 5 Okay, so this week's running has been hard. Monday was okay, but Wednesday and today were pretty bad. I got like 1.7-1.8 miles in 25 minutes, so a slow decrease, but I think it'll clear up this weekend while I rest. Next week will be a little off, since my dad is running a 5k Saturday and we're moving me into college Friday and doing a few family things during the week. Anyway, running on Tuesday and Thursday, and essential movements same as always. Some good news! My essential movements Tuesday were complete. All five sets were completed both times. I'm very proud of myself, however it meant Thursday I still had some healing to do so I wasn't able to do quite as much. Still, improvement! And later today I'm going camping with my friends, so I'm not much worried about eating so bad because tubing is a full-body workout. I can't wait to feel that soreness for week 4. 100% worth it. Writing, however, has been weird. I've been posting more on tumblr and another blog, and I guess that's good. I kind of meant the writing to be for fiction, but any writing is good writing, right? Anyway, I'll check back in Monday to complain about my body being sore.

Aw! You're so sweet!

Oh, it's the third part of three novels (I'm starting at the end because it's my favorite story and I have no idea what happens in the second besides there's a war). It's basically about an android who wakes up and goes on a quest across the war-torn wasteland that is earth to find the other three androids, and she does, but it's not a happy kind of finding.

Week 3 Begins! And it's off to a great start. Yesterday I spent a couple hours working on a plot for a novella I've had in my head for years now (not-so-happy-science-fiction), and I have all the chapters and scenes outlined, so this week's fifteen minutes should be easy-peasy to complete. In awesome running news, I ran 1.9 miles in 25 minutes. Almost two miles in twenty-five minutes. I know I probably won't make an A in this category, but a B is great and definite improvement. I mean, I started running late May, and I was doing a fourteen-minute mile. Now I'm averaging less than thirteen most of the time. That's a crazy difference. Also, I decided this weekend to cut out my Saturday Essential Movements for an extra rest day. Last week I pushed myself really hard Tuesday, then Thursday I could barely do anything. Now my muscles feel nice and rejuvenated and I'm ready for tomorrow's round. As for my unofficial goal of "weight loss" (unofficial because it doesn't really matter), I've gone down six pounds since the start of this challenge. Wow! Considering I had my period last week and was all bloated, that's a huge loss. Two pounds a week is like twenty weeks and forty pounds off. That means, if I stick to my exercise and eating regimen, continuing to increase as I grow stronger, I can be at my goal size and weight and fitness level by Christmas (just in time to gain it all back with my grandma's cookies). The best part? I'm starting to see the lines in my biceps and my pants are getting loose. My legs are getting really toned. And maybe, just maybe, if I can keep losing those two pounds each week for the rest of the challenge, I can be the lightest I've been since like middle school. WOW. That's a lot to handle. I haven't been 170 in as long as I can remember. It means I'll have lost twenty pounds since I met my boyfriend. It means I'll finally be into a comfortable size 14. It means I'll only have thirty-ish more pounds to lose. It's going to mean the difference in how fast I run, how well I can do my movements, and how well I carry myself around campus (because we all want to deny it, but losing those extra pounds really do help with confidence). I'm so happy. It's great to feel the improvements and have the math behind you saying that when you started you couldn't do diddly squat, but now you're amazing, and just imagine how good you'll be this time next year when everything is old hat? And I feel most of the negative self talk gone. My brain's gotten healthier just like my body. This six week challenge has been one of the best ideas of my entire life.

Week 2, Day 2 So today has been pretty great for me! I've just finished working out (a very late one, but working out is still working out!), and I managed to finish two complete rounds of push ups, planks, and right/left side planks. I'm one full set and half another through pull ups and squats, though those are both super killer, so a lot more effort is needed. Still, it's a major benchmark. That means I'm well on my way to getting an A in all my essential movements. Running (which was yesterday, but I didn't update) is getting better. I managed a mile and a half in under twenty minutes. So two more runs at twenty, then upping it to twenty-five for week 3. I'm very pleased with my progress. At this rate, it looks like I'll be getting a B in it, but that's okay because it's a total improvement. Finally, my writing.is now going well. I pumped out ten minutes of my current project, and I'm on my way downstairs to go write my quota today. I'm actually pretty into it now, and would work on it more, unfortunately, it's on my dad's computer (two screens are awesome) so I can work more efficiently, and he works from home, so I only have access to it when he's off work. I think I'll move it to my computer (share the file, you know?) so work can continue during the day. But anyway, everything going awesome. Hopefully I'll be making good grade and getting my treasure. Yay adventuring!

You don't need to apologize. It's always good to open a forum for honest discussion, especially when it comes to helping girls realize starving themselves is not the way to go. Even if your help wasn't needed here per say, help given is always a good thing.