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Everything posted by sarakingdom
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(Also, I will say that it's really common for people doing strength training to see a dip and rise when they start, IIRC. And the running, if it's causing soreness, could easily be causing some water retention that hasn't balanced itself out yet. It could be a lot of stuff. It's really hard to tell in the five-pound range.)
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Fitness is a good metric. If you want to track weight, I'd try measurements instead of the scale (initially). Five pounds is easily fluctuation from random shit. New exercise routine, anything. And five weeks is only starting to get to the point where you'd really start to see a trend. But otherwise, fitness is a good metric.
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Okay, this is an upsetting position to be in. But genuinely not your fault. I can't imagine a head teacher calling someone for testing without having seen with their own eyes that they're ready. Like, the whole time he was pushing your testing up, he had no idea a chunk of the test material was missing, and I struggle to get that, because how could he not know? That was... a mistake. Because that's the job, and because it's shitty to put someone in the position you've just been put in. Testing is supposed to be the formality that happens after your teacher has seen that you're ready. Your fellow blackbelts sort of failing to remember that shit, also a poor show. There's a saying that the failure mode of clever is asshole, and I think that, similarly, the failure mode of easygoing is... this. So he's correcting it and figuring out how to move you forward, which is good. You're not a failure. The school's whole laid-back testing thing (which, to be clear, I am a fan of when it works)... it kinda failed you, on two counts. Had either one of those two parts been working, this wouldn't have happened. That's not on you. You worked hard. So, well, let it go. They meant well and screwed up, and it hit your confidence. Keep moving. Keep showing up and training your shit, and that's the whole game, really. The rest is just a scaffolding around it all, and it's not that important.
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Hopefully the crochet will come faster as I get better. It's pleasant, but it's a time-consuming hobby, and I need hobbies that generate time rather than consume it.
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Week 2: Day 2 1. Waterbending Did I swim: Pro-o-o-bably. Later. :star: (Current total: 9/60 stars) Did I do strength training: Also probably later. (Current total: 3/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: Probably yes, kick drills (Brownie points: 3) Can I do butterfly yet: No 15%15% 5%5% 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: Yes. :star: (Current total: 10/60 stars) Am I the leaf: No I think this is irimi. Lean into it and come out the other side. Poor focus today, so I did a to-do list cleanup, whipping through as many things as I could and moving categories. (Long to-do lists are a problem. They're just overwhelming, and stuff doesn't go through in a timely way.) 16.7%16.7% 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: I need to think about it. Yeah, I think so. At least 's worth (Current total: 12/60 stars) Did I work on my course: No. (Brownie points: 1) Is the course done: No 20%20% 4. Firebending Did I meditate: Yes. :star: (Current total: 11/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: Coffee. Yes. (Brownie points: 6) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 18.3%18.3% Challenge Reward Points Balance: 0 Shit accomplished during the challenge: I crocheted my first thing. I reduced my to-do list by 30%.
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Don't feel bad about it. Habits are hard to shift, especially food. Gradual changes are more likely to stick around. Just do 5% better this week than last week and keep doing that, and that's huge. A week of vacation with your boyfriend around! That sounds fantastic.
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I occasionally have shoulder pain in the shoulder that tends to get tight, like it just occasionally tips over into being so tightly clenched that it causes real pain. I've tried ice and foam rolling and ibuprofen, and really none of that works for more than a few minutes. The only thing that worked was a lotion that I'd put a hell of a lot of magnesium into (Epsom salts, in this case, which can be absorbed through the skin). Instant blissful relief. I'm incredibly jealous that, in Commonwealth countries, you get the capitalized article. Stupid BBC. Stupid socialized medicine. I don't get medicinal Timelords. I don't get to make any "Take Two and call me in the morning" jokes.
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One of my projects this summer is teaching myself butterfly. It's the only one of the major strokes I didn't pick up as a kid, and I want to collect the full set. First issue is the breathing. I'm starting with a lot of sets of kick drills and a few sets of putting everything together, based mostly on some good video resources for the kick and the stroke, and I think it's actually coming along. The arms aren't perfect, but the motion feels like all the pieces are working together and getting some power behind it. What I haven't quite sorted out is the breathing. No major disasters yet, but it takes some real effort to get high enough in the water, quickly enough to take the breath. That might just be a practice thing, but I suspect I'm missing a timing element, or part of the motion. Does anyone have any good links that focus on the breathing? The other thing I'm noticing is that my butterfly churns a lot of water. Not splashing, which I'd recognize as a sign of something wrong in the stroke, but a lot of subsurface churn that sets up a wave pattern in the pool, serious surface swells with waves splashing over both ends of the pool. I don't know if that's the normal side effect of butterfly, or me doing it badly. Is that a known stroke flaw? I've never really encountered that in stroke debugging.
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A bad ADHD day can be either one, but lack of focus is easier to recover from with some behavioral fixes. Put a timer on, make a list, and go through the motions, and you can pull a fair to middling work day out of it, and it's over. The problem with those is just how many of them there are. Too much focus is a lot harder to deal with, because by definition it's something you can't really pull out of, so those are worse days. And those are the days that kill my sleep schedule, because I just keep working on whatever I've focused on till 4am. That hits the next day hard, because you're either going on very little sleep or losing a huge chunk of the day, and there's sort of a hangover effect. I hope the RSI app will work. I've disabled the things that will let me cheat, and a slideshow of pretty pictures seems to work for getting me to mentally stop. But it hasn't hit a real test yet. So far this week has been too little focus, but I'm going through the motions and sticking to my schedule, and it's better than nothing. I'm trying to use the distraction as a virtue and pare away at the size of my to-do list by taking out all the small, annoying tasks that have been lingering. Pure list management, really, not any deep work, but it's getting things off my plate so I can do the deep work later. (The list has been knocked down from 96 items last week to 66. Which deserves a . At least half of what's left are longer projects that will be hard to clear, but a list that isn't so clogged up is easier to deal with. I suspect 20-30 items is going to be my best case. We'll see.)
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Okay, finally caught up. Let's see here. Also, I got 11 things off my to-do list last week. Which is great. Unfortunately, that still leaves 85 things, and, er, about eight things I need to add to it and haven't yet. Week 2: Day 1 So last week went okay until Friday. Friday, I had a massive ADHD fail that took me out of play for most of the weekend, though I did start recovering those days, and some non-challenge stuff got done. (It's partly, like, ADHD hangover, and partly that it usually hits my sleep hard. Messing up your sleep is bad news.) But I'm starting to deal with it, I think. 1. Waterbending Did I swim: Yes :star: (Current total: 7/60 stars) Did I do strength training: Sorta (Current total: 2/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: Yes, kick drills (Brownie points: 2) Can I do butterfly yet: No 7.5%7.5% 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: Yes. :star: (Current total: 8/60 stars) Am I the leaf: No While I was getting most of my schedule back in order, I installed an RSI-break app to enforce short breaks after 30 minutes of work and one-minute breaks after an hour of work. Not for RSI, but for the hyperfocus state of ADHD. That's the thing that really kills whole days and nights at a time, like Friday, that attention state you can't break out of. On the days when it's a problem, I need the enforced stop, and on the day I don't, a few minutes looking at pretty pictures won't kill me. (And RSI apps are totally legit for people in my profession, so I shouldn't need to explain it much, if it kicks in while group-working.) 13.3%13.3% 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: (Current total: 11/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Yes. (Brownie points: 1) Is the course done: No 18.3%18.3% 4. Firebending Did I meditate: Not yet. (Current total: 9/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: Um, it was stronger than tea. But I don't think Uncle Iroh would object. (Brownie points: 5) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 15%15% Challenge Reward Points Balance: -1Shit accomplished during the challenge: I crocheted my first thing.
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Week 1: Day 5 1. Waterbending Did I swim: No (Current total: 5/60 stars) Did I do strength training: No (Current total: 1/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: No (Brownie points: 1) Can I do butterfly yet: No 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: No. (Current total: 5/60 stars) Am I the leaf: No 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: No (Current total: 7/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Not yet. (Brownie points: 0) Is the course done: No 4. Firebending Did I meditate: No (Current total: 5/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: No (Brownie points: 4) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 Week 1: Day 6 1. Waterbending Did I swim: No (Current total: 5/60 stars) Did I do strength training: No (Current total: 1/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: No (Brownie points: 1) Can I do butterfly yet: No 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: (Current total: 6/60 stars) Am I the leaf: No 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: (Current total: 8/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Not yet. (Brownie points: 0) Is the course done: No 4. Firebending Did I meditate: No (Current total: 5/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: (Brownie points: 4) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 Week 1: Day 7 1. Waterbending Did I swim: No (Current total: 5/60 stars) Did I do strength training: No (Current total: 1/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: No (Brownie points: 1) Can I do butterfly yet: No 5%5% 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: No. (Current total: 6/60 stars)Am I the leaf: No 10%10% 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: :star: (Current total: 10/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Not yet. (Brownie points: 0) Is the course done: No 16.7%16.7% 4. Firebending Did I meditate: :star: (Current total: 9/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: No (Brownie points: 4) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 Not formally, but I did a fairly meditative activity for that purpose. 15%15% Challenge Reward Points Balance: -2.
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Let's race through these. Week 1: Day 3 1. Waterbending Did I swim: Sorta. (Current total: 3/60 stars) Did I do strength training: No (Current total: 1/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: No (Brownie points: 1) Can I do butterfly yet: No 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: :star: (Current total: 5/60 stars) Am I the leaf: No 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: x2 (Current total: 5/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Not yet. (Brownie points: 0) Is the course done: No 4. Firebending Did I meditate: No. (Current total: 3/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: (Brownie points: 3) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 Week 1: Day 4 1. Waterbending Did I swim: Hiked. x2 (Current total: 5/60 stars) Did I do strength training: No (Current total: 1/60 stars) Did I practice butterfly: No (Brownie points: 1) Can I do butterfly yet: No 5%5% 2. Airbending Did I irimi or tenkan the shit out of something today: No. (Current total: 5/60 stars)Am I the leaf: No 8.3%8.3% 3. Earthbending Did I do some Toph-like shit today: x2 (Current total: 7/60 stars) Did I work on my course: Not yet. (Brownie points: 0) Is the course done: No 11.6%11.6% 4. Firebending Did I meditate: x2 (Current total: 5/60 stars) Why don't you enjoy a calming cup of tea: (Brownie points: 4) Current count of planned relaxation sessions: 0/3 8.3%8.3% Challenge Reward Points Balance: -2.
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I'm so glad you're enjoying it! It's seriously fun for the people who get into that sort of movement and ethos. (And it's one of the few arts where making training a joy is one of the actual commandments from our mystical monk founder, so that's really built into most dojos, and it's great when it's a good fit.) It does take a while to pick up the movement patterns. Don't worry about it. Just showing up to learn is basically everything in aikido.
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About Ubuntu, I've been reading up, and I've changed my mind on the version to recommend - you do want 14.04 LTS after all. Sorry about that, I was not current with how long they support the regular non-LTS releases. They've dropped the support time on those to something stupidly short and are pushing the LTS (long-term support) for all users. I'm going to make that change to the LTS release myself. (The Long Term Support releases come out every two years, and are supported for five years. It's a good, stable bet.)
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The only thing better would be if you actually ate your lunch, you food-shirker.
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In the depths of Outer Canuckistan, a moose bays at the noonday sun. The native Canucks brave the deadly solar rays, despite searing 17-degree temperatures, in order to hunt their next meal. One grizzled hunter, using the traditional weapons of his people, stalks his prey. He drops his ammunition, lines it up carefully, takes aim, smacks it with the stick... and the puck flies through the air and slams into its target at breakneck speed, killing it with a single blow. Tim Horton has brought down the dangerous wild donut. Today his family will feast on its carcass, sucking coffee from its marrow. Get your lunch on.
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Watermelon vodka slushies? Recipe, please!
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I am the leaf today. I am so the leaf. I took off from work early and went swimming, and literally and metaphorically cooled off. Not serious swimming, just messing around in the pool. I still need to put in some hours at work, but I feel so much better.
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That's pretty awesome, actually. A lot of schools don't put their money where their mouth is there. That's a good sign about the school. I don't know how long you've been training with them, but this isn't something a junior belt should really be beating themselves up over, IMO. It's a learned physical skill, just like any technique, and takes as long to learn to do well. Some people have a feel for it sooner than others, but there's nothing wrong with being one of the students who doesn't. Because it's technique, and that's part of what you're there to learn. Beginners in aikido are often worried they're not good enough partners for more experienced students, but there are skills that training with a beginner teaches. Don't worry about it. You're teaching them things about their technique that more experienced partners can't. I'm glad to hear it, that's really good. IMO, let him know you'd been planning to discuss her with him - not in a bad way, just "thanks for checking up, I'd been wanting to discuss her with you, and I appreciate your handling it blah blah blah". Just so you're on the record about her, and also because it sounds like he's really taking that stuff seriously.
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Yeah, training in the martial arts essentially steps outside the normal contract regarding violence and pain - some students go wrong by failing to realize that, and some students go wrong by failing to realize that it's replaced by a different contract regarding violence and pain, one that actually demands a lot more responsibility rather than less. It's really easy to not injure someone when the social contract says that you're not allowed to attack them. Much more of a responsibility when the social contract says that you need to attack them, and also not injure them. I don't know if other martial arts frame training this way, or if it's just aikido that's explicit about it (and, actually, I'd bet it's only some flavors of aikido, even), but aikido is very explicit about framing training as collaboration between uke and nage, not competition. There are things you need to do for each other in order to work together to make training happen. That tells students a lot about their new social contract right there. As does - and I bet you have a lot of this in hapkido, too - the emphasis on ukemi, and the responsibilities of attacking and receiving technique well. The nage may be the one performing the technique the class is learning, but the uke's role is treated like the more important and trained more carefully. The nage needs to take care of the person putting themselves at risk for the technique, but the uke makes a lot of judgments on the fly about that social contract. Oh, I remember them... did you ever catch the owner for a word?
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Right. Embrace the Ai.
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Yes. Be the leaf. Be the leaf. I'm working on it.
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Today started out really well, you guys. Only then... today's Toph thing became clear. Seriously. I am so angry that I can't calm down. I can punch something, right? I mean, what's the point of being a Monk if I can't punch shit? Sigh. Fine.
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You are in luck. That is way easier to do in Western-sized Tupperware. Pack five of these: Only starting with a sufficiently large container. Boom. Done.
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Last night I made a gazillion bento boxes, so I do not have to make breakfast or lunch (for anyone in the house) for the rest of the week. I just have to eat them/distribute them, as needed. So just make five of these on Sunday: Then you're basically done with 90% of the mental part and 95% of the physical part of eating lunch. (Disclaimer: That is not one of mine. Mine are uglier and contain brussels sprouts this week.)
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