Mistr

Aiieeee, that sounds painfully familiar. Although I mostly relied on chocolate, not ice cream or whiskey. I feel like I am only a few steps on the path to healthier strategies. There is less chocolate.

What will you get to see in France?

Can you set up a fan to air out the basement (and let it run while you are elsewhere)? Cleaning a basement is bad enough without having to deal with dust and the smell of musty things.

It is great to hear you sounding happy and excited instead of tired and frustrated. I hope everything goes well and you have fun with the game tomorrow.

Good to hear that you are feeling better. It is such a good feeling to get rid of old junk. My grandma had a drawer full of sugar packets from places she travelled. Apparently it used to be a thing to have local images on sugar packets, at least in Europe. I understand wanting small souvenirs, but sugar packets? Those were an easy decision to get rid of. Getting outside and away from your grandma sounds like a good option for both your physical and mental health. If you feel the need to add another reason, could you walk to run errands?

My goodness, things move fast in your life. It may not seem that way to you, but a lot has happened in the last week. I am in awe of your dice. I thought Dumbledore had an extravagant collection. Yours is magnificent. 🌟 Is this keep solely a military outpost, or is it a feudal holding with agricultural lands around it? If it has feudal control of the countryside, you can offer the superintendent a share of the profit from managing the people and resources. They will also have to manage the staff of the keep. This is the same situation feudal lords had to deal with when they went off to the wars. I am sure you can find culturally appropriate stories for inspiration. I am so glad this is all working out. And that it is almost over. Yay! Good sleep makes everything else in life sooooooooooo much easier. Yep, that seems to be the consensus for this challenge. Holding ground is a fine place to be. Sometimes strategic retreat to a better location is really the best course of action. We want to believe we can move forward consistently, but that is an occasional happy condition, not the norm.

Monday evening I went to aikido, then to the grocery store. The list was fairly short, mostly fresh produce. I am still working on integrating the idea that someone in the family will go to the grocery store several times a week. If I forget something or the store is out of it, that is a temporary issue. Remembering that will take some of the pressure off of me trying to find everything in the large, weirdly organized grocery store. I was planning on having to unload and put all the groceries away by myself because it was after 9pm and the young people have been going to bed early. So I was pleasantly surprised when they heard me come in and came out to help without being asked. 💓 Tuesday evening was less productive. I came home and relaxed for a bit, then washed dishes. Dishes were not originally on my list for the evening but I could tell they were going to annoy me if I didn't do something about them. Half of the dishes were from me cooking, so it was not all other people's mess. I was right about it making me feel better. After that, I sat zen.

Yay for your parent not having cancer now! Good job on finding another pleasant place to walk and going to the gym. I am glad that H is supporting you on dealing with the family challenges and frustrations of your job.

You never know. If you keep your eyes open, you might be able to make that leap if an opportunity suddenly appears. I have several utility knives. They range from the cheap promotional razor-blade-in-a-metal-holder (with the name of the place my dad worked on it) to the classic grey handle with angled blades to a newer one with an ergonomic handle. I have to say, the new one with the ergonomic handle is my favorite. It has internal storage for spare blades like the classic one, but you don't need to go find a screwdriver to open it to change blades. Plus it is more comfortable to use. Totally worth spending a few extra bucks for a tool you will use frequently for the rest of your life.

I had a nice long weekend and got some real spring cleaning done. I washed all the curtains in the house for the first time in ummmm years. Probably less than 5 years, but I wouldn't swear to it. I also cleaned and put out the patio chairs and moved the hose reels to their summer locations. I did some cleaning in the garden. There is a ton more of that to do, but that is normal for spring. I noticed that I am still having trouble getting myself to do things, even fun things. That mental resistance is still there. Not as bad, but not gone either. I'll just keep working on doing what I can. Part of my strategy is letting myself have free rein in most areas, which is not helping at all with weight loss. Dumbledore went out for coffee with Elf to restore normal communications. That went well according to both of them. The same afternoon, I took Elf clothes shopping. I had a $30 coupon from the last shopping trip and a 30% off offer. Between the two, Elf got two pairs of shorts and five summer tops for $65. 🤩 I dropped Elf off at the clothing store and went next door to buy myself a new pair of athletic shoes. I checked with them ahead of time about if they were comfortable shopping solo. They said they were. A nice step in self-confidence for them. We also had another learning experience on shopping for women's clothes. After I got my shoes, I met up with Elf and they showed me the items they had found. There was a pair of shorts they really liked. I suggested getting two pair, since they had no shorts last summer. We looked at the display and could not find another pair of blue denim shorts in Elf's size. There were white shorts, so I suggested they try those on. Elf said "it's the same brand, can't I just assume these will fit the same as the other color". Sorry kiddo, that is not a good assumption. And so it turned out, the white shorts did not fit. Luckily we found another rack of shorts that had a style and color that did work. On the way home Elf reassured me that they were not falling into old bad habits and avoiding me and Dumbledore. They just have been sick for the last six months and have not had energy. The shopping trip was fueled by Red Bull. Elf and Cleo spent a lot of time out on the porch over the weekend, so they are getting fresh air, I am seeing them in passing, and we are not fighting about climate control. Yet. I expect a problem when it starts getting hot out. Zen classes always include meditation plus other activities. Most people think of seated meditation as zen, but actually seated meditation is called "zazen" and is just one activity in zen practice. Classes usually include walking meditation (called kinhin) and often have chanting. There is a question-and-answer session at the end. Zen practice dovetails beautifully with martial arts. A lot Japanese martial arts teachers also practice zen. There is a tradition in the Rinzai Zen lineage call Zen-Ken-Sho, which means study of zen, martial arts and creative arts. Sho refers to the brush used in calligraphy and painting, but flower arranging and other arts are included. Playing music has a lot of the same sense of being in the moment as zen. No, I'm planning on going about once a month. Every Tuesday is too much pressure on my free time. I will keep that in check for now. I still have hope that things will improve. At least both of the young people are actively pursuing medical help. Elf saw an occupational therapist last week. This weekend they went out longboarding (before 9am!) to get in some exercise.

So I didn't make it to aikido on Tuesday - but I did zen instead. I realized that I could not make it to aikido on time leaving from the office at 6:00pm. Showing up late is bad form, especially for class with a senior instructor. No one would be mad at me, but I would still feel stressed about it. Instead, I went to the local zen sanga meeting for the first time in a year and a half. The teacher just announced that they are expanding and added a session on Tuesday evening. I stopped sitting with the local group when they moved the Sunday session from my dojo to a location halfway across town and changed the time to conflict with Sunday aikido class. I went to the first Sunday session at the new location, had a miserable time, and never went back. I decided to check out the new Tuesday class. For one thing, it was only scheduled for an hour so I could be pretty sure the leader would not make us sit longer than 30 minutes at a stretch. The main reason was that he said our senior teacher would be coming to Tuesday sessions when he is in town. I have not met with my teacher in a long time, and I have some questions I want to ask him. I went in with minimal expectations and was very pleased with how things went. There were seven people there (including me and the teacher). All the other people were serious students wearing black training clothes (gi and hakama). I know several of them from pre-Covid zen sessions. The teacher was amazed to see me. 😂 I was expecting sitting on a lower cushion to be uncomfortable, but it was fine. My meditation was as good as it is at home or in the yoga space at work. I was able to stand up for walking meditation before the line got to me. I was not at all confident I would be able to stand up quickly. My knees go to sleep when I hold still for half an hour. Everybody has one foot fall asleep, which is also a challenge for walking. I was pleased I managed the standing up. My walking had a decided limp, but I did it. Whatever clarity of mind I had from the zazen was lost in focusing on getting my muscles to walk at the same pace as the other people. The second half of class was private conversations with the teacher. He was very encouraging. I can see that talking about two zen teachers is going to get confusing. I'll call the local zen priest "Teacher D.". He has been training for a long time and recently was promoted to Roshi, which means he is fully qualified for teaching at all levels including new priests. I'll call my teacher "Roshi M. ". Roshi M. is also a sixth dan in aikido. He is the one who brought zen practice to my dojo. Roshi M. is the abbot of a Zen monastery located 80 minutes north of here. The two teachers have different styles. I like Teacher D. as a person, but I am not a fan of his teaching approach. He will talk at great length about Buddhist philosophy. I'm not Buddhist. I can sit politely and see if there are any practical tidbits in the lecture, but mostly it goes over my head. Roshi M. tends to take a more direct approach. Teacher D. also considers Roshi M. as his teacher, so he will understand that I want to talk with Roshi M. In local news, both Cleo and Elf have been low energy or sick for weeks. Elf is supposed to be seeing a medical person about dealing with long covid fatigue. Cleo has been working to get all the specialists to talk to her primary care provider so that they can put together a unified treatment plan that actually works. Cleo is understandably frustrated about the "just take more pills" approach that she keeps hearing. On the one hand, I am sympathetic and want to be supportive. On the other hand, I am frustrated with the continued mess in the kitchen, absence of chores and lack of communication. Dumbledore is fed up with that. The weather got nice the last couple days and temperatures were in the upper 60s (~20ºC). The young people turned on the air conditioning. At least they remembered to take the winter cover off the air conditioner first. Really kids, you could have opened the windows. Better yet, they could have talked to Dumbledore first. His office is downstairs and got really cold. I do not approve of using the HVAC system to cool the house when it is colder outside than the desired temperature. I especially do not approve of cooling the house to a temperature that is lower than what we heat it to in the winter. If they are too warm in their room - they can go outside. We have a lovely screen porch with comfy furniture. It is a good thing that I am working in the office today. I hope Dumbledore has a more positive conversation with them than I would have.

My sympathy. At this point I think you need to get a cat that is good at sending out snoozon radiation. Several of our cats have been more than happy to help with naps and going to sleep. It is a moderate-cost, drug-free, treatment option. 🐱 If you want to buy in bulk, why not contact the manufacturer directly? I'm sure they would be thrilled to get a letter saying that you love their perfume and want to secure a supply of it.

Happy Birthday! 🎂 You have been exceedingly busy for a long time. I'm not surprised that you need to step back and take time to reflect on what you have learned and just rest. Getting back out in the world and connecting with people is wonderful, but that also takes time and energy. I hope you find a new balance that lets you enjoy the things you are doing while supporting your health.

Good job getting in gym time! It sounds like you are making steady progress in bouldering. Cool stuff!

Yay for having a good time at the retreat in spite of challenges! I have found that earplugs and an eye mask are essential for me sleeping in strange places. I strongly dislike using both of them, but they are better than the alternative. All great things! My sympathy on the job woes. So much suck. In a sane world, your department would have enough people to handle the caseload so that people could take the time off they are promised as part of their compensation package. The skills you have developed in communication and case handling could easily be transferred to project management at a private company. Just sayin.

I agree with @Kishi, you are dealing the best you can under the circumstances. One suggestion (that I might have missed) is to schedule some time for just you and Dave. That is especially important since he is leaving right after your guest will leave. You and Dave get to have some personal "date night" time over the two weeks that his friend is there. You don't have to schedule anything extravagant, just get some time to spend together without worrying about another person in the next room. Either send the friend away for the evening or you two go do something, whatever would be more relaxing for you.

Things have been really busy at work, so I am not getting much time here. I've done a little reading in other people's threads. I broke my meditation streak because I picked up a novel instead of my knitting last night. I stayed up two hours past my bed time. 🫣 I sat zen first thing this morning to get back on track. I am working late today and tomorrow because I have team members out of town to see the eclipse. Tonight I am taking off to get some things done and get some sleep. Tomorrow I will try to make it to aikido. I need to be out the door as soon as I turn off my computer to make it there on time. Our retired chief instructor will be teaching and it tends to be a small class. I want to take advantage of the limited opportunities to train with him.

Good to hear you are feeling a little better. I think planning for cyclical energy makes sense. I feel like this happens with most activities. Some of it is seasonal, such as less walking/hiking in the winter. Other things are just for variety. After finishing a big knitting project, I am likely to want to do embroidery or a different type of craft project for a while. GMB talks about "periodization" in workouts. They say that no one has time to work on everything, so it makes sense to pick one goal for a few months. When you have made decent progress, move those exercises to the background and shift to your next goal. By working in rotation you can make progress and not get bored or burned out. Your situation is more extreme, but not different in kind than what everyone faces from the vagaries of life.

I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin. That is scary news about your parent. I hope that the news continues to be positive. Good for H. in supporting you in self-care.

Proactive aikido quarantine ends today. I am still feeling fine, although I think I have allergies that are making my eyes water. I am glad that tonight will be basic weapons class. Weapons classes tend to be less aerobic than open-hand classes. I have been a slug and not exercised for the last week. I have been meditating consistently. That seems to be paying off, at least with it being easier to do the meditation. Not so sure about it paying off in the rest of my life. I am feeling a lot of resistance to doing things on my list - even fun things. I have gotten some stuff done in spite of that. I feel like I need to beat my brain weasels back with a stick. Luckily, I have a nice set of sticks for attacking things.

Yay for getting yard work and cardio done! My sympathy on having to deal with challenging family stuff. I hope you can get to a good mental/emotional place with it soon.

I think your new training program makes sense. Having happier knees is a great thing. I get it about being happy for NC State winning against bigger schools. I have been in Ames when Iowa State played Univ. of Iowa, and you could hear the cheering a mile from the stadium.

Yay for getting your dream steed out of the game chaos!

The Scrum Master sounds terribly frustrating. I hope the Team Lead can talk with her and give her a better idea of what your team actually does. Yay for having the materials for your paper at hand when you need them! Also for having tea and not needing to go outside in the rain.

Your new couch and love seat look great! I like the shading and detail on the mini. I agree that having a creative activity is a good addition to a visit with a friend. You are being a supportive spouse for agreeing to host Dave's friend on short notice without them asking first. I know I was put out when I agreed to host an aikido person for a weekend and they wanted to stay for a week. Staying a week or more is a major imposition on someone. I hope the friend will help with meal prep and chores while they are there.