Mistr

Good to see you! I hope the job works out. You deserve to have a chance to have a stable life and explore your interests.

I like Pero. Right now we have Kaffree Roma, which is very similar. Both drink powders are made in Portugal. I like them a lot as a savory hot beverage.

Week 1 is off to a good start. I sat zen four days in a row. Monday was only 15 minutes, but the other days have been 30 minutes. I expected it to be uncomfortable and my brain to be difficult. Right on both counts. I was surprised how much my hips have tightened up in just two months. Hopefully they will relax back to where they were. The most gratifying part was that last night my mind finally calmed down and I had a few minutes of clarity. Aikido has also been going well. I went to class three days in a row for the first time in months. I also did some strength training and a decent walk on Monday. By then end of the day I was worn out, which is why I only meditated for 15 minutes. I got 8.5 hours sleep that night and felt like I needed more. Today I am feeling more awake and able to stay on task. I put a block on the games on my phone for the week. I can read, knit or spin when I want to do something fun in the evening. Those activities scratch a different spot in my brain, which is probably a good thing. It is certainly much easier for me to stop knitting when I'm tired than it is for me to stop playing games. Reading fiction at night is a bad idea for me. If the story is good, I have a hard time putting it down. I want to be careful not to think everything is better just because I am having a good day. Yesterday was certainly not a good day. Last Friday was downright bad, mentally. I want to see a stretch of good days in a row before I leap to any conclusions.

Yes, I agree that breath is a constant. It also has an aspect of movement to it that holds the attention. If I try to sit without something to point my brain at, it makes up all kinds of stuff. Hmmm, fascinating take on sitting. The enforced stillness does allow one to observe how body signals come and go. If I have an itch and cannot scratch it, after a couple minutes it just goes away. Muscles in my legs will decide to tighten up, then give up and relax. Since I know that my legs were just fine when I sat down, I can ignore the urgent messages from them as my brain trying to get attention rather than physical signals. And I am sure you are right about holding still cutting down on distractions to the mind. The long-term goal of zen meditation training is to be able to maintain the same state of mind during all activities. It seems like we start with seated meditation because that is the easiest.

I really appreciate hearing all your thoughts and experiences on slowing down. I have been struggling a lot with this over the couple years. I have slowed down quite a bit, but I don't feel like I am fully in control and making good choices. Rather, I was teetering on the edge of burn-out, and slowed down to maintain my sanity. I don't feel like I have faced all the internal stories that press me to do All The Things. I am afraid that when I've recovered enough to have energy again, I will go back to the choices that got me in this situation. As a telling example, I did a week-long zen retreat (called sesshin) in 2019. This was before my work went from busy to insane. The idea is that all the attendees are supposed to be working on meditation-like focus constantly. There are 9-10 hours of seated meditation a day, broken up by walking meditation, work practice and meals. If my knees had not been giving me constant grief, I might have enjoyed it. I frequently felt a sense of relief at not having to constantly make decisions and take care of things. I just had to follow along and do what the group was doing. Other people took care of the planning, cooking and organizing. That part was great. So was being out in the woods far from town. My teacher talks about sesshin as an arduous practice. It is certainly not easy, but I felt like it was vastly simpler than my normal life. Being more fit makes all physical movement easier, so that aspect is a good bet. Doing the journaling to look at your self-image issues around your body will likely have much more impact. How you feel about your body affects your enjoyment more than how your body feels, weird as that may sound.

Wheeee, your thread moves fast. I love the baby sweater and the fox. The snails and slugs are adorable! I like the use of color and texture in the background to make the animals stand out. The food debates sound just exhausting. I would throw up my hands and just live on chocolate and nuts.

It sounds like you have done all the things you can to be ready for the move. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible! I love the new cabinet.

Fascinating. Please share as you learn more. Funny that. My zen teacher says that the mind cannot change the mind. From everything I've gathered so far (which means I may be way off course), the approach is to use the body. Specifically observing the breath. Just observe, not analyze. Easier said than done. I have started to see functional benefits from meditation. I can often catch things that I unexpectedly knock off the counter. Bling is the answer. Wear enough fancy jewelry and no one will think about the cut of your robes. 👑

I find pleasure in being able to move my body in ways that were difficult before. That is getting more true as I get older and movement gets more difficult in general. Just being able to get up from the floor in Turkish Get-Ups is a win. On top of that, there is the satisfaction of getting better at the exercises. For example, I have been doing one set of pushups - as many as I can do with good form. On the last two of the set I can feel them getting harder. Over the last week, I have been able to do one more rep each day. I am not back to where I was pre-covid, but the progress is encouraging. I will admit, the payoff comes in being able to do things smoothly that I really want to do. And I can do things that I might not want to do, but need to do anyway, like mowing the lawn.

Nice clear goals. I hear you on the struggle to get up early and exercise before work. Also to stay on track at work so you can get out early enough to get mat time.

You are right, that is perfect. I never heard this song before. Hmmm, that makes me wonder about the teacher of his community. I am not a Buddhist, but I have been listening to the lectures. Standard Buddhist teaching says that all suffering is caused by attachment. There are three main classes, with names I forget. Two of them are things you want and things you want to avoid. If something goes away and you aren't attached to it, you do not become unhappy. The best example I can think of is spring (or any season). There are lots of good things in spring that I like, but I do not feel bad when spring transitions to summer. I wish I could say the same about the transition from October to November, I want to avoid the cold grey days of November. Someone can be good at meditation, but may not be willing to take a hard look at the sources of their emotions. They might even be using meditation to avoid thinking about things that bother them. Rinzai zen takes a tough love approach of making people do uncomfortable things so that they are willing to face difficult situations. Other schools of Buddhism have different approaches. Thank you!

Those are excellent observations about your process and your goals. I look forward to seeing where you go next.

2024 Challenge 2: Mistr searches for her mind In the rotating series of things I want to work on, finding my mind is my top priority this challenge. I have had too many days where I just can't focus or all I want to do is play games. When color-by-number on my phone is so absorbing, that is a sign there is something wrong. I am not at all clear on what is wrong. Things are better at work. I have picked up my exercise routine again. I am mostly getting enough sleep. Aikido is slowly getting better. The number on the scale is even down a pound from last week. No smoking guns. I think I am going to just have to sit quietly and wait for the culprit to poke its nose out in the open. Goals: 1. Sit zen 30 minutes every day. I pretty much dropped zen in December and only did a few short sessions in January. Meditation is my best tool to figure out what is going on in my brain. I feel like the universe is reaching out to hit me in the head with this one. On Saturday at aikido, a senior instructor asked me again how my meditation is going. He told me that he meditates twice a day, in the morning and before bed. He says if you can control your mind, you will have a happy life. He is in his mid-eighties and can still take falls. I think he knows what he is talking about. 2. Manage my time so I can get enough sleep AND sit zen. Sleep is lower priority than zen this time. I already know that getting enough sleep makes me a happier human. I just have trouble remembering that sometimes in the evenings. As a corollary, no screen time after 8:30pm on week nights. 3. Keep moving. Over the last several weeks I have gotten back into my exercise rotation of aikido, strength work, rowing and core work. Some days I do more, some days I just do one thing. Make sure there is at least one thing every day, even if it is just gentle yoga. 4. Cut back on mindless eating. This may be difficult while I am still hunting for my missing mind. I got into bad habits of stress eating over the last couple years. One week ago I was at the highest weight I have ever been. I was better last week and it seems to be helping. I would love to lose a pound a week this challenge. The real measure of success on this goal is not actually the number on the scale, but whether or not I can tie my hakama. When I was at my target weight (four years ago), I had about a foot of extra length after tying my hakama waist straps, with them wrapping around my waist twice. Now I can't get it to tie. 😟 My new hakama has longer straps, but I am not wearing it for a while because the dojo just got a new mat. Sensei was very clear that she would not tolerate blue stains on the new mat from indigo-dyed hakama. All of us who have new Japanese hakama are wearing older black hakama instead. I made a start on all of this during zero week. Onwards and upwards!

You have an excellent plan for this challenge. I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible.

Here is a photo of a modern martial artist who won a Western historical longsword competition, Samantha Catto-Mott. This is tournament combat armor, not stage armor. Similar to the lovely armor in the earlier photos, but much less ornamentation. I am sure everyone here knows this, but I want to reinforce that strength and body shape are separate things. A person can become super strong with no obvious change in their shape when wearing clothes. A person might want to put on or lose weight for various reasons, and that is largely separate from strength training (I am ignoring bulking up for the moment). So go ahead and do the exercises you want to meet your goals and don't worry about what that will do to your appearance. You can chose how to present yourself as an independent goal.

Excellent goals! I love the cute slug in the teacup. Real slugs are another thing entirely.

I am very glad that you are still here. I have made a lot of friends here over the last 10 years and I miss the ones who have gone off in other directions. I have made an effort to meet new people here, but it is a struggle for me. I hear you on this. I have also been struggling with working out. I did it first thing this morning, no problem. Last weekend I just couldn't be bothered. I haven't figured out why either. Ah ha, call on me, I know the answer to this one. Body building and power lifting are two similar sports with very different goals. One of my coworkers is a power lifter who competes at the national level. Just looking at her, you would think she is a woman of medium height with a stocky build. Certainly not very thin or curvy. Here is a video. If I understand correctly, this is much more of what you are looking for. The Stronger By Science podcast talks about how choice of sets, reps and weights are optimized for strength or bulk. If you want functional strength, check out Nicole Coenen. She is a lumberjack and has a sword custom-made for splitting wood. Being clear about your goals is an excellent start. Once you get a basic foundation established, you can select a program that fits for you.

Following! I am so glad the toxic bosses boss is gone. Hopefully that will make your main job much more pleasant. I love the kitty pictures. 😻

Great job on your challenge! Your January notebook has a nice full pattern of marks. Also congratulations on the continuing weight loss.

Well, this was at summer camp, so there were four of us sharing a room. I am sure we hung up both the jackets and the pants. That was back in the days before we started wearing exercise leggings instead of gi pants under hakama. Putting on a damp jacket over a dry t-shirt is bearable. Putting on damp pants is gross. It works best if you can get the kind of hangers where the hook can rotate. Then you can hook it over a door more easily. We wanted to hang them out on the balcony railing, but the Japanese chief instructor's wife thought that looked tacky, so we had to hang them to dry indoors.

That is so frustrating that the choir cannot work with your process. It makes sense to me that singing in a group is different than singing solo. A lot of musicians learn by ear. If the director just gives you printed music, you do not have all the input you need to learn it. I used to teach Scottish set dancing. It is very much a 3D activity. You can walk through your part of the dance with chairs marking the spots of other people, but the chairs hold still. In the real dance, there are often six people moving at the same time. The teacher's job is to provide exercises and tips to make the dance flow correctly. You can practice solos on your own, but team activities really need the other people.

Great job on your challenge! Another laundry hack that I got from summer camp -> plastic hangers and a fan are great for drying gis. If you can get a fan that swivels, even better. You can hang up the gis on the shower rod or over the top of a door, then have the fan blow on them. It will cut down the drying time a LOT, especially if it is humid out. You can start with the gis inside-out, then switch when they are mostly dry on the first side.

Quick weekend report and challenge summary I used to be heavily involved in science fiction conventions in Minneapolis, but had never gone to any of the Chicago SF conventions. I have mostly gone to Chicago for aikido seminars. All the people from my gaming group and most of Dumbledore's Wednesday group attended. That made things much more fun for me because I had friends to share meals with. Dumbledore was very busy on program events at the con, and he ran two gaming sessions. I brought along knitting and my computer so that I would have things to keep me entertained. I ran into some friends who I had not seen in years, but we did not have a lot of time to hang out. Yes, quite a lot of that. For example, one session was about Ursula LeGuin's novel The Dispossessed and what impact it has had over the last 50 years. There were also authors reading their works, crafting workshops, an open gaming room, an art show and discussions on lots of non-literary topics. I went to one on doing costuming on a budget. I was really glad I had my knitting. I finished knitting the hat. That includes having to ravel back and re-knit the ribbing because I ran out of yarn faster than I thought. I also switched from double rib to single rib and decreased a bunch at the start of the ribbing because it was too big the first time. I cast on for a scarf using the fancy Merino/possum/silk yarn that my Mom found for me in New Zealand. It is wonderfully soft. I have to wonder about New Zealand possums. Our possums do not have soft fur. I will put photos in my next challenge. On the exercise front, I did core yoga on Friday. After that I just did walking. I certainly could have exercised - the hotel had a better exercise area than many gyms. I just wanted to relax and not have to deal with people after a while. I took Monday off because I anticipated needing a day to get caught up at home. Thank you, past me. Elf and Cleo made sure all the dishes were done before I got home. 🥰 That let me scrub the sink, which has been on my list for weeks. I did two loads of laundry. I was not planning on doing shopping, but I discovered that we were out of toilet paper. I went to both Costco and the regular grocery. By the time I got home, I was worn out and my knees hurt. No aikido. TL;DR - I had a good weekend. Challenge summary - Getting better but nowhere near back to normal. I rather suspect that "back to normal" is unrealistic. More on that next challenge.

Yesterday I got home late from work because I got into an interesting conversation with two of my coworkers. I knew that I would have to be selective about what I tried to get done, and that I wanted to spend time doing something fun and relaxing. I chose vacuuming the family room and doing two quick online banking tasks. I do yoga in the family room, so I notice when the floor is getting dirty. The vacuum canister showed that it was dirtier than I thought. 🫣 Glad I got that done. I paid my dojo dues early for a change and download a tax form from my credit union. Mission accomplished. Someone else can unload the dishwasher and wipe off the kitchen counters. My fun thing was a new-to-me game called House of Da Vinci. This is a puzzle game. They just released House of Da Vinci III, so I got a great deal on episode I. I was looking for something similar to Myst. This looks like it has the mystery and story parts but not the exploration. That's fine for a <$10 game. I am happy with my progression back into aikido. I went to an intense 2-hour class on Friday, an intense 1-hour class on Sunday and a much slower basic class on Monday. My knees are cranky and my endurance is disappointing, but my movement is getting better. At lunch today I practiced with my weapons partner. He is training for his sandan test. His focus now is figuring out what movements make techniques work. It is fascinating how a small change in posture or weight shift can alter the feel of a technique. I really value the time we take to test out ideas and give each other feedback. It is much freer than the usual technique practice in classes. I am planning on going to class tonight, which gives three classes this week even with me being out of town this weekend. I am going to a science fiction convention in Chicago. Ping me if you happen to be there.

Yay for having the report already done before she asked for it! Good for you on doing the lifting too. I hope the drama level in your life calms down soon.