Yasha92

Stunning photos! So wild, so rugged! Mx looked over my shoulder at the really brightly coloured one with the grass and the mountain and Bronze in the foreground and thought it was a painting.

Tuesday, definitely feeling a little bit spacey today. Worked from the office, went for a walk in lunch, spent too much money on some work blouses (oops), did a short errand after work, discovered my car was FULL OF BEES, probably from the cute little garden chair I picked up yesterday. Luckily the bees are little tiny stingless native ones, so once the chair was out I scooped most of them out with my hands. Good luck lil friends! Sorry I took you so far from home! Speaking of home, once I got home (and removed the chair/bees) I did a fair whack of turning/digging some compost, washed and hung a load of laundry, washed a load of dishes, wrote and submitted an application for the Lvl A position. Got confused and also bashed out an app for a different role, only when I went to submit it did I see it was the same level as what I am currently on (again!!!), I think I must just not recognise the pay band as a figure, only as a HEO level. Week 5, a Tuesday ~ Teethies: yup. Walkies: yup. Freggies: yup. Cleanies: yup. Sleepies: ish. Boundaries: yup. Money Monday: yup. Shitty task: yup. Communication: booked for tomorrow

Sorry to hear the bipolar bears are being dicks! A little time and space away from your usual routine (though very busy!) might be a good little brain break, let you miss Bronze being an attention whore, give you some space to affirm your decision to stay with Rox (or alternatively to give you time to consider your exit path… I support you either way but would caution not to rush into/out of anything), give you time away from your apartment to let you crave your own bed and all the familiar things we end up taking for granted. Holding space for you and hoping the weather isn’t too wild for your walk xxx

Thanks friendo!!!

Monday~ worked from the office, took a walk in lunch to see Best Lady and give her the stuff she accidentally left behind yesterday, after work I picked up some freecycle items from the neighbourhood group in the absolute POURING rain- it was stinking hot at lunchtime, so the rain was a bit of a surprise. Got soaked, but it was still relatively warm despite the rain, so not too bad. Grabbed grocery essentials (it was just butter lol) on the way home. Had another phone screening and have an offer of an interview- somehow I got confused when I was submitting the application because I was certain it was for the level above me- double checked after the chat with HR and it is definitely the same level as I currently am… weird. Got home and rough-drafted an application that I have to submit tomorrow if I’m going to submit it at all- that one is for the level above the level above me, I am perhaps a little under qualified, but I reckon I’d do a really good job of it. Re-did the budget and fixed some wonky auto-transfers, recalculated new post-student-loans-paycheck, wrote up an application for a loan with my current bank which is 2% less interest than the existing one to do a debt consolidation- counting all that Math as my shitty task once combined with the rough draft app (neither feels like a full “yup”, but by their powers combined… . Had a bath. Did a smattering of permaculture homework. Washed 5min of dishes. Week 5, Monday~ Teethies: yup. Walkies: yup. Freggies: yup. Cleanies: yup. Sleepies: yup. Boundaries: yup. Money Monday: yup. Shitty task: yup. Communication: booked for Weds.

Deploy the lemon honey teas!!! (Hope you feel better soon)

I like the blurb for the evaluation station! I was in ikea yesterday and they just had a series (5?) of frown-thru-smiley faces that you tapped to rate the experience of the loos, the display room, the restaurant, the checkouts etc. You weren’t required to tap an emoji at any stage along the journey but you could. It didn’t ask for written feedback which is sometimes too overwhelming- I like your 0-10 board. I have also seen similar where there are 10 sections and you “vote” with a sticker/by clicking a clicker counter - means less risk of people writing in comments if you are looking for cleaner data, plus chalkboards are a sensory nightmare for some peeps (hey, hee, I’m the problem, it’s me). Good luck for Bronze (and her people!) at the park. I’m sure everything will be A-ok!

Sunday~ A far less crazy day, still a bit crazy and I do feel more distracted/jumpy today than usual, not a swirling pit of anxiety or panic, just more “squirrel!” which is kinda dangerous while driving 😬. Noting it as a potential medication reduction symptom and moving on. Did a little permaculture homework first thing in the morning. Went to the junkshop to look for legs for my project bench and found some which should work! Will have to cut them down a bit, but that’s ok. There was a market on in the carpark, so Mx and I had cute morning tea cannolis and a roam through said market. Got home and did a little pre-DnD cleaning while Mx prepped for the session (most of it knocked over yesterday, so today was just a load of dishes and hanging one load of laundry and bringing in yesterdays load from the line (not folded yet), also ran the Roomba and vacuumed the back of the mobile aircon unit because it has been working HARD in this heat). After we were technically meant to start DnD I went back out to print some handouts and tokens for the maps already printed and laminated. Worth the additional outing coz it was an EPIC session, best we’ve had in ages. Thousands of feet in the air on a flying pirate ship crewed by undead. The bard polymorphed into a dragon, my barbarian 1v1’d the boss fight with the captain and fell to 0hp and was yeeted (yote?) over the edge of the flying necromatic ship, the cleric ended up dropping a 200HP healing spell AND a well placed sunburst spell which destroyed a deck full of skeleton pirates. We hardly ever play with minis or table battlemaps (mostly using the massive whiteboard), so to have both plus little tokens and unveiled the personalised minis Mx has had hidden in their office for YEARS was pretty badass. Week 5, Sunday Teethies: yep! Walkies: counting the market laps, even though that barely counts, it was over 30*C, so any outside time is a stretch. Freggies: honestly, no Sleepies: in bed ready to sleep after this post. Boundaries: yep, no issues Financy Friday/Money Monday: switching this over to Monday to try and smooth out the clunky tranfer lag. Shitty task: new week, new task, nothing specific in mind currently, except continuing the meds transition and being prepared that may hit the fan at any moment. Communication: first face to face class for Auslan on Wednesday.

Thank you it was a heck of a day!

Saturday and tornado Taash completely had the wheel. Got up and started with some homework towards my permaculture certification first thing while I drank my coffee, unloaded the dry dish rack and did a load of dishes and wiped down all the counters, ran a load of laundry in the machine, took out all the trash and recycle including full change of the litter boxes and the bathroom, bedroom, and office bins, made a batch-cook lunch, took out the compost and turned the backyard bin, picked up for and ran the Roomba, then went to IKEA and Bunnings (our hardware store) looking for some kitchen legs so I can finish a project I’m working on to give us a smidge more benchspace. No joy on the legs, but did get several other organisational items off the rolling list plus a cute little orchid as a celebration/recognition of the milestone of actually getting a diagnosis. Came home and hung out the load of laundry I washed in the morning plus brought in and folded two loads (one of which was towels to be fair, and Mx folded all their clothes from the second load). Had a bath, put away the dry dishes from this morning, moved the not-my-size-currently clothes into the new under bed zippy storage things. Half made the bed (floofed a flat sheet over the mattress, it’s not tucked in, it’s not going to be tucked in- I will put on the fitted sheet when I am ready to rumble. Mx and I had some words, but we were able to talk it through after the fact and make up. Week 4, Saturday~ Teethies: yes Walkies: counting my frenetic energy as a walk, did a full lap of IKEA so that has to count for something (or is it “Šœmthįŋk”?) Freggies: I had the veggie meatballs at IKEA and they have given me the rankest farts (tmi, I know), otherwise had “Taash salad” which is roast veggies, feta and bacon on baby spinach for lunch. Good stuff. Sleepies: a bit of a late night tonight (quarter to midnight), but Mx and I needed to have an adult conversation (not sexy, just acting our age ugh). Boundaries: no issues here today! Finance Friday: oopsie, need to sit down and do the budget balance. Shitty task: has been claimed for the week! Communication: yes for class orientation, bonus points for doing the grownup conversation too.

I love it!!! The toolkit, the accent, the whole shebang! And are you engaged? Did I miss that???

Crossing my everything for us both!

Bruuuuutal waitlist eek! I was on the waitlist for about 4 months and I had to pay out of pocket (around a grand) but thankfully medicare will refund a large portion of it. Bananas that it isn't just covered -especially since statistically ADHDers are lower-income/have employment barriers. I'm one of the lucky ones where I crazy-brained myself into a pretty good career/job so I can actually afford to take the assessment. Sucks so bad to get a tiny taste of how the Americans have it! I hope Rox also gets what she needs from medication & the price isn't too bad of a sting - I am cautiously optimistic. We are certain Mx has ADHD and Autism, but similar to you- very expensive to go two-fer and there is a higher risk here for tism diagnosis only being detrimental, seeing as there is no medication known that can help (still technically low, but given they are in a trade and tradies can be a bit... well... y'know, they aren't currently seeking a diagnosis).

And we’re back. Slept/rested/vegetated most of Weds and Thurs- it was frickin hot, so laying on the bed in front of the aircon and resting was wise. I did do my orientation for sign language (omg SOME people, I forget how technologically advanced I am sometime, so being in a big group where that is not everyone’s strength was whack) and I watched some videos for my permaculture course. I had hoped to finish and submit the permaculture before starting the sign language, but hey ho it be what it be. Still need to do the final design and submit it, I have until March but ASAP is best. Thursday was a public holiday but not one I celebrate, so again I slept a lot and otherwise rested in front of the aircon. Very needed and made an effort not to beat myself up about it. I think some of Weds/Thurs funk was anxious about today: second assessment for ADHD, and yep I have it. Now with the diagnosis we have a plan and I will begin transitioning off the anxiety medication ready to switch over to the ADHD medication. This challenge & next may also include symptom tracking to make sure I’m not getting whack withdrawals etc. for the next six weeks while the shift is happening. I’ve been on my current meds for a long long time and they have a short half life which apparently means coming off them kinda sucks. Still, the diagnosis was a relief and I am optimistic that medication might help me be a little less scatterbrained. Week 4 Friday~ Teethies: almost forgot to do them, but luckily(?) got a piece of chicken in my teeth from my dinner sandwich and went to find a floss pick and remembered once I saw the brushes and did the thing. Walkies: yes, gymmed squats AND did a dedicated stretch video when I got home freggies: hmmm, I’ve had a carrot and I might have another… or maybe some spinach on my chicken sandy (did have spinach!) sleepies: well it’s 8pm and I’m already pretty well ready for bed lol, should be fine as long as I don’t get a second wind… [930 and snuggling down with an audiobook now] boundaries: I had already booked in a medical day today knowing that my mind would not be on my work on the lead up to the appointment. Top score for preventative maintenance. Finance Friday: it’s Friday! All the accounts are whacky after the public holiday, so will check again tomorrow and do the budget balance shuffle shitty task: fuck yes, did the appointment with the shrink, big win there. communication: yep, did the orientation

Kick that polar bears butt!!!

You have GOT this!!! Keen to see the photos! I’ll even figure out Instagram to give them a “like” if that’s helpful! (Red heart)

Do you have a slow cooker/crockpot? Obviously it’s past your dinner time now, but in future that might move the dinner effort to the morning when you are often up early. If yes, my suggestion is apricot chicken and rice.

Weds- taking a mental health day from everything. Back tomorrow.

You are getting so much done even though you feel shitty- keep on keeping on, the low will come back to being a high x

Tuesday, more ok than I was yesterday but still fragile. Took some things off my plate to ease the pressure (didn’t go to the shops for non-urgent storage containers, skipped an evening zoom which was self improvement and I’m sure would have been good but I was tired and 15min late when I remembered it). Work is fine, new boss is fine… but it’s just ‘fine’ it’s not filling my cup. Had a bit of a chat with Mx and they think maybe I was more fulfilled when I was supervising direct reports and/or that I need more external validation than I’ve been getting in this role, that I am used to being a high achiever and getting awards and stuff so just “plodding” is grinding me down. We also went way over on the USA trip budget so money is stressing me a bit. The shitty task I did last week was applying for some other jobs and I have an interview for one of them next week or the week after- of course now I am stressing that maybe I don’t want that one either??? I blame the brain gremlins and will do the interview to the best of my ability. It’s not a massive pay increase, but I wouldn’t lose any benefits and it has “manager” in the title, which is what they said I needed when they knocked me back for my Boss’ role. Plus it would be new and shiny and interesting for at least a year while I figure out how all the puzzle pieces go together. Eh, a decision for if I get an offer after interviewing- nothing is guaranteed (lol, autocorrect suggested “fair entrees”). Emojis still look like they’re being butts, so a written summary today: teethies: about to get up and do them now Walkies: yes, went for a walk in my lunch freggies: yep sleepies: ready for bed now and there’s a massive thunderstorm so I should sleep well cleanies: nope boundaries: yes good on this one today finance Friday: it’s Tuesday (and I am thinking I might switch it to Money Mondays so there is time for everything to clear/transfer, but undecided) Shitty task: there’s another job I need to apply for. I haven’t yet. communication: first class tomorrow!

I stayed up a bit late after posting that but did end up choofing off to bed. Re-reading (listening) to Legends and Lattes as a cozy treat and cancelling things that don’t spark joy all over the place.

Sorry to hear the polar bears are chewing on your brain at the moment. They lie, you’re doing just fine. Same same but different here in my brain. We can do this (red heart).

Monday and while I am ok I feel a little like I'm teetering on the edge of maybe-not-so-ok. Potentially nerves about a big shrink assessment I have on Friday. I worked from home so I didn't have to spend spoons on office smalltalk or doing my hair or having a shower. I ate 'office lunch' (reheated pasta and pesto) rather than cooking something from scratch and basically tried to put minimum pressure on myself. Laid down for a bit to recharge after work and felt guilty, so got up and started the roomba and went back and laid down with the "but I'm vacuuming!" reassurance. Still working on being fine with just resting, but at least now I have a couple tricks/tools to hush the brain gremlins in the meantime. Not much going on otherwise, a little bit of work apathy, but that's a usual Monday situation, was able to stick to my boundaries and start, finish, and lunch on time, didn't volunteer to organise the team social activity even though there was a long awkward silence after the boss asked for a volunteer. Just brushed my teeth and have cleaned the kitchen to almost-done (big stockpots were beyond my energy tonight). Heading to bed on time and ready to sleep. Week 4, Sunday~ ✅✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️ - Teethies ⛔⛔⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Walkies ⛔⛔⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Freggies ✅✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️ - Sleepies ✅✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Cleanies ✅✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Boundaries ⏹️ - Finance Friday (it's Sunday) ⏹️ - Shitty task ⏹️ - Communication.

After yesterday's ordeal(s) I decided to take it easy today. Had a lie-in (not a sleep in coz the cats woke me and demanded food), turned my compost and did a little weeding/gardening, cancelled the one shot we were going to have so I didn't have to have folks over, took a bath, had a cider, ran one small errand and basically tried not to overdo it as much as possible. Played Wingspan with Mx in the evening. Not sure I at anything other than a PB&J and some smashed potatoes Mx fried up, so definitely didn't get in the freggies. I'm fine with that. Week 4, Sunday~ ✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️ - Teethies ⛔⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Walkies ⛔⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Freggies ✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️ - Sleepies ✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Cleanies ✅⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️⏹️- Boundaries ⏹️ - Finance Friday (it's Sunday) ⏹️ - Shitty task ⏹️ - Communication.

I hope you got some rejuvenating rest ❤️