RobbieBlair

Oh, I wouldn't read so much into my comments. I just think your original response made certain assumptions that were worth correcting. The back and forth, and the continued assumptions being made, are starting to get frustrating, though, so I'm going to opt out of further participation in this particular line of discussion. Gratitudes for today: 1) How much better my new bike is working when compared to my old one. 2) How bright Mars is in the sky right now. 3) That strawberry jalapeno margarita the other day. 4) The taste of Nutella. 5) How readily available alkaseltzer is.

Well, that's the thing, right? It's not my first impression. It's my third. And, of course, making impressions is a mutual thing. My past experiences have made me skeptical on the value of this community, given how it seems to function and the fairly low level of support (which, as I acknowledged, is something that I'm no better at). What I was trying to communicate was simply that I was in a place where it made sense to give it another go and see how things went. The jury's still out on whether this is worth my time or not.

I would suggest that my opening paragraph is only ill-considered if my goal was to ingratiate myself with this community. I am not trying to win friends and offer praise. I'm expressing a concern with the nature of the community, and specifically the ways in which it has not been a sufficiently supportive tool for me to be worth investing in substantially. I leave it to others how to take that and what to do with it, but I don't see anything wrong or ill-considered with being honest about my concerns. Today's gratitudes. 1. How tasty the pesto sauce was with dinner. 2. How absolutely adorable Emerson was when he was pretending to fall into the tiny trenches in the back yard. (He's a three-year old, and kept waving his arms around and saying, "I'm falling! Help me!" And I would run up and grab him, and he would laugh, and it was awesome, and I loved it.) 3. How Ellie lit up whenever I put a bowl on her head. 4. How little kids just make me feel hopeful about the world. 5. The first chapter of 100 Years of Solitude. I am seriously loving this book, and that opening chapter was just phenomenal.

Five things I'm grateful for today: The fact that, thanks to my grave shift, I get to see a sunrise and a sunset every day. That Thai Spice has a good Massaman Curry. (Good in that it works as comfort food for me.) That my job offers me such a wide variety of activities to do each night. How good I feel about the "Erin comforting Jordan" scene I just wrote (in my book, which is my major project for my MFA). The fact that my girlfriend and I can communicate effectively about challenging issues, and resolve arguments and hurt feelings effectively.

So, I've tried these forums a few times. Not to be at all critical, but they haven't tended to be worth the effort for me. Not a whole lot of people respond or give support -- which I can't blame them for, since I don't respond or give support to others, either. Kinda a conundrum, in't? But anywho, now that I'm working a grave shift, I find I have some time to kill -- and that I need to be doing something or I'm likely to start dozing on the job. So, I'm back, at least for now! My Theory of Health: I want to improve my health and mental well-being in sustainable ways. Holistic health is vital to me; simply addressing the physical without looking to the root causes (including mental, emotional, and environmental causes) doesn't seem wise. Based on my research into motivational psychology, I've also come to adopt very strong anti-shame sentiments and a focus on "process-based goal theory" (where the focus is setting goals based on process rather than progress). All that being said, I want to lose weight. I try to remind myself that weight and health aren't the same, that shaming myself about my current size won't do any good, and that focusing on my approach is the most effective leverage point -- while still moving toward a goal of a greater level of fitness and a more convenient body size. The Main Quest: Lose 1 pound per week (13 pounds total) through September 30th. Description: 285lb weight by September 30th. Benchmarks: 265lbs = the ability to shop at a normal clothing store (anticipated March 2017), 240lbs = being able to travel by air without feeling uncomfortable about not getting a second seat (anticipated September 2017), 220lbs = where I was before the chaos of the last few years happened (anticipated March 2018), 200lbs = a weight I'm very happy at (anticipated September 2018). QUEST ONE: Cycling Warm-Up Description: I just bought a bike meant for heavier people. I'm in rough enough shape that I can't use it for my commute just yet (based on my test rides of other bikes), but I'd like to get moving in that direction. Quest Details: Put together and tune up the bike by Aug 20. Ride the bike every day. Start with a 5-minute bike ride on August 21st, then scale up the time by one minute each day. Once a 30-minute bike ride feels reasonable, shift to using the bike for the work commute. (This should be right at the end of the four weeks.) QUEST TWO: Lotsa Frittatas Description: During my last challenge period here, I did a quest where I made frittatas often enough to always have some in the fridge. This did a surprising amount to improve my eating habits. So I'm duplicating that here to try to get myself a healthy staple food. Quest Details: Any frittata will do. Make 'em to munch 'em! Aim for 12+ during the challenge period. Avoid dairy. (You know it ain't kind to you, man.) QUEST THREE: Gratitudes Description: I There are only a handful of things that have been scientifically proven to increase happiness, but expressing gratitude is one of them. Quest Details: I'm going to do a simple gratitude journal, listing five things I'm grateful for each day. These gratitudes have to be new each time. The gratitudes should be as specific as possible. (e.g., not just "the sun" but "the way the sun made the clouds look gilded during sunrise).

Final Tally Weekly weight average: 305.5 This is a major spike up. I noted that water retention would increase thanks to med changes. I also expect that a portion of this was due to unhealthy eating during one very stressful day and continued unhealthy eating in the wake of that day. It's highly unlikely that accounts for the full 4.5 pounds, but to really know where my weight is at, I'll be paying attention to future weigh-ins. I'm also doing a 3-day liquid cleanse to give my digestion a break and reset my appetite. Cold Shower Count: 26 I missed one day since starting. It was a day where I skipped everything; I'd pulled an all-nighter the night before thanks to freelancing and grading stuff that all piled onto the same day. Overall, I'm going to say this was a major success, although I still question whether it needs another month to be habituated or if I can move on to yoga now. I will be trying 5 minutes of yoga starting tomorrow and give that a trial week before making a final decision. Frittata Count: 17 I made 17 and then got pretty tired of them. I need to figure out what recipe to work with next, and I think chickpea curry sounds like a good bet. It's simple and versatile and relatively quick, so I'll be proceeding with that in the next challenge. I've started thinking about the idea of making a physical menu with the recipes I have gotten good at, and keeping my fridge stocked to make those items at any given time. No plans on this yet, but I'll revisit it in the future. Disrupt Stress Eating: Meh. In addition to not being an easy-to-track goal, I did have some major stress eating in my final week. I will be brainstorming ideas for better ways to approach this barrier. Previous habits: Almost entirely in tact. My daily reports are solid and I have meditated consistently. I have not hit every single day, and was surprised how difficult it was to re-focus after skipping two days (the all-nighter day and the day after). However, it seems to be back on track at this point, so I'll continue with my current approach.

4/25 Weekly weight average: 301lbs That's 1 pound less than last week. I was expecting a degree of fluctuation this week since I stopped corticosteroid treatment. The corticosteroids were decreasing water retention, so I expected weight to go up somewhat. It did, especially toward the end of the week, and it's entirely possible this next week will have my weight stable or even increasing slightly. Even so, I am on track for my goal thus far and would be quite satisfied with a consistent weight decrease of 1 pound per week. It's not as fast as I'd like to make progress, but the notion of slimming down by 50lbs per year is quite a positive one. Cold Shower Count: 22 Frittata Count: 17 Disrupt Stress Eating: Success

Welcome to the community, Psyberion! Thinking of taking care of your body as taking care of your brain's home is an interesting approach. Did you know there are also many studies that show that exercise increases productivity and focus? So, maybe there's that too. Enjoy your time at NF!

4/23 Cold Shower Count: 20 Frittata Count: 17 (just put a brussel sprout and almond frittata in the oven) Disrupt Stress Eating: Success

4/20 Cold Shower Count: 17 Frittata Count: 15 (Just pulled a 5-pepper frittata out of the oven. I'm looking forward to seeing how scorched my tongue will be.) Disrupt Stress Eating: Success Stress eating notes: So, I started a temp job on Monday that stressed me to no end. It was "monkey work," as I put it. No brain or body work involved, highly repetitive, and made me feel like nails were slowly being pushed into my brain. I quit that temp job today, which feels like it was solidly the right choice (despite the fact that the money would have been truly useful). It was a useful experience for observing stress eating in a more "extreme" situation. Yes, a crappy temp job isn't exactly extreme in the broad view, but it definitely had an extreme impact on my stress. I felt myself tense and ache through the entire work day, and it was bleeding over into after-work—and I had a strong instinct to eat junk food to cope with that stress. I substituted eating healthy food instead, which isn't precisely my goal, but embodies the spirit of the goal nicely. So I suppose it's been a success. It's also messy and complicated, though, as I've noted before. I tried to do a food motive journal, but it lasted for half a day before it felt like an annoyance and a burden. I'm wondering if there's a way I can simplify it and make it more convenient, because the idea still seems good. But no idea that you won't follow through on is actually useful, y'know?

UPDATE for 4/18: Cold Shower Count: 15 Frittata Count: 12 Disrupt Stress Eating: ??? Other weekly stuff: Got officially registered for my low-residency master's program. Got a temp job that starts today and lasts up until my low-residency begins. Beat Fire Emblem: Conquest and Fire Emblem: Revelations Hit my morning routine every day Started learning Spanish on Duolingo Average weigh-in: 302

UPDATE for 4/17: Cold Shower Count: 14 I keep trying to decide whether to make this a one-month or a two-month habit. I think I'm going to try to add in yoga next month. Just 5 minutes of it or so each morning. Frittata Count: 12 I have officially made my goal. I'm going to keep making frittatas right up until I burn out on them, but I do want to start exploring other simple recipes. In the oven now: Garlic, onion, and potato frittata. Disrupt Stress Eating: ??? The more I move forward, the more I feel that 1) this goal is incredibly useful in making me more aware of my motives for eating and 2) an impractical goal, given how complex, ambiguous, and multi-factored those motives are. I'm going to keep at it for now and continue trying to make it my goal, even though it's incredibly hard to track. I think I'll do a "food motive journal" for next next challenge—though I may decide to switch over to that sooner, instead.

Looks like there are enough of us to actually justify a meet-up. Let's throw a date out there and see if we can make it stick, yeah? How does ... oh ... May 28th work? Would people be interesting in doing a meet-up somewhere in Utah then?

Sorry for the late reply—and I don't have time to respond to all that's happened since I last chimed in—but I wanted to say I like your comic mock-up.

UPDATE for 4/15: Cold shower count: 12 The reprieve from talking myself into it in the morning seems to have been temporary. I've had some tough days with depression / lethargy lately, and they correspond with increased difficulty throwing myself in the shower. I'm still doing it and it still helps give my morning momentum, though. Frittata count: 10 This has been hilariously positive for me of late. I wonder if it will stay that way, but it's allowed me to opt out of junk food and decide to make a frittata when stressed instead. The odd thing is, I'm often not hungry. I just am bored or anxious or want something to do, and the process of making a frittata is already familiar enough that it's calming. Plus, I've always liked cooking. I'm such a kinesthetic person that actually working with ingredients has proven to be quite the way to unwind. I'm also quickly improving at other tasks, like cutting veggies quickly and evenly. (Still not there yet, but improving!) And understanding how quickly I need to use certain veggies if I don't want them to go bad. The time in the kitchen has also encouraged me to experiment with other recipes. I really love no bake chocolate cookies, which were often a stress-eat buy at the store for me. I decided to figure out how to make them more according to my tastes and health preferences, and have done a couple batches of a dairy-free, low-glycemic version (with about half the sweetener and using maple syrup instead). That's been nice too, partially because they taste healthier, partially because I get to consciously choose my portion size, and partially because it helps me unwind before eating junk. At the moment, I'm cooking a cremini mushroom + spinach + onion frittata with a layer of crushed almonds on top. I'm looking forward to it. Disrupt Stress Eating: Success! This is really hard to track, though. Like, I may have done some stress eating earlier. I was definitely stressed and at the end of a burn-out day. But I was also legitimately hungry. So when I ate less-than-optimal food in response, is that stress eating? Because my focus on this has led me to evaluate my reasons for eating more often, I'm learning more and more that there are many different factors that determine when, why, and what I eat—and there are usually multiple at play for any given session. Do I not want stress eating to be able to play any role? If I'm legitimately hungry and decide to swipe a no-bake chocolate cookie to address that hunger, in a situation where I'm also stressed, am I failing? Or should I consider this healthy eating behavior so long as I'm not eating beyond my appetite? It's something to contemplate, and I'm glad this challenge has brought some of these questions to light.