breebles

I failed. I failed so hard it's not even funny. I faulted the last half of two weeks ago and then this last week I didn't even give a flying ---. I know it was the holiday and I *could* cut myself some slack, but I know it wasn't that. I just... sorta stopped. I did so well the week before and then... just lost it. =/ I need to look into it more and see if this is because of bipolar that I get really motivated about things and then fall off and then get really motivated and then fall off. It's a really bad cycle in my life. I'm glad to see some of us are still going and still trying! I'm going to attempt to restart this week. Get back into and all. Try *something* and hope for the best. In other news, I did finish NaNo.

Starting next week I'm going to make the super conscious effort to eat as healthy as I can even if we go out to McDonald's or something for lunch. There's no point in saying it for this week as this week is over work-wise (though I did avoid eating like crap today because we got Chinese!) I've been pretty good about -bringing- my lunch but my bread went moldy and well... I'm going to double down on having a good lunch! I'm not sure I'm going to hit my exercise goal for this week. I worked out last night, only doing what I did on Monday, and I thought my lungs were going to explode this time. I think I'm coming down with bronchitis. =/ I'm going to try, maybe do some yoga tonight instead. But I hit my meal and my shake goals!

Every time I've tried to go Paleo in the past, it's been a struggle. I like my carbs too much. >< But maybe if I start working with one thing at a time, I can eventually get there. I'm just frustrated that a year ago I managed to drop 20 pounds and keep it off for an entire year until I got a new job and gained 10 of it back and it seems to be climbing. I was off sugar, soda, caffeine, coming off of carbs... Then I moved and I started back on all of it but still managed to keep the weight off (thank you retail job :| ) but now I'm trying to curb it all back and I think I'm overloading myself. I'll keep it in mind to take it one step at a time. Sounds like the best idea.

I have mini-breakdowns every time I try to count calories. I can't seem to /eat/ and stay within my goals. That's why I'm trying to get into healthier habits before I attempt to start counting again. Right now my lifestyle is not conducive to it at all. I was prepared to not see any "Real" results at the end of the 6 weeks but I was not at all prepared to possibly /gain/ weight. My pseudo-diabetes (thank you, Steroids!) is returning and I'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown over it. ><

Laurenji - even an abbreviated workout counts! You at least did -something-. Or that's how I'm looking at it. ;D ixaera - 4 hours!? That sounds long, even if you aren't going to be a walking bruise after. But good luck and enjoy! I did manage my workout last night, even woke up pretty early today, too. Made breakfast after only a minute or two of flailing and debating. Those damn Fruity Pebbles were calling out again, man. .-. But I definitely need a "big breakfast" in the mornings or I get physically growly and mean and hostile by lunch. (I wanted to punch 3 of my coworkers for goofing around and holding up me getting to the deli and then I was the last one to pick up my order cause they all cut in front of me :| ) So back to eggs and a meat and an English Muffin (used to be a bagel, but that was a lot of carbs and a lot of calories =/ ) I feel like I'm actually gaining weight rather than losing it though. Anyone else having issues like that??

Today was my "fuck this" food day apparently. It started at breakfast where I had 0 interest in actually cooking so I had Fruity Pebbles. Then I forgot my lunch on my counter, so I ended up with a BLT and fries from the deli across the street. And by the time I got home I was exhausted so I made a can of soup (not that the soup is bad, but it's still not a "real" meal.) I sort of feel like a Sim when I eat like this. Like, "shit, they have to leave for work! Quick, down some food before they hit that bad mood bar thing!" I'm gonna try realllll hard not to binge tonight though. I was pretty good except for the soda and cookie I had with lunch (but in my defense, the cookie was a gift from the lady who runs it. She's picky about who she gives free cookies to. It was like... a special moment.) And despite how tired I am, I'm going to go work out. u_u I've been trying out the darebee.com workouts that rainra posted. (I found the actual site they came from. There are so many and they're sort of a fun way to mix it up.) Fun fact: I have 0 balance on my right leg even though I've always thought my left ankle was weaker. In doing leg lifts, I almost faceplanted more times than I'd care to admit. How is everyone else doing? Getting in your strides? Still struggling?

Update: I'm really bad about updating here because I post in a group thread more often than not. But I found some fun bodystrength workouts I'm doing. Still struggling to get the eating under control but this challenge is more about building habits than any real "results" yet. I'm not expecting to actually lose anything since I'm still just trying to get into a routine.

I've been rededicated so far. And those 2 pounds came back. Not sure where they went. Guess they decided to just take a vacay? So far my goals are going better but I'm not sure how "effective" they are. =/ I keep binge eating after eating well all day. But my friend and I came up with a compromise to feed me without binge eating. I'm going on a "liquid diet" after 8 PM so that whatever I'm eating isn't bulky and high in calories, sugar, etc. So like a protein shake or some chicken broth or a cuppa. We'll see how that goes tonight if I manage it.

I work in a warehouse, doing Receiving and Data Entry. I write up the paperwork for drivers when they come to make deliveries and then I process receipts once the warehouse receives and inventories it. I technically do Super Secret Spy Shit (but not really). I'm still not sure about how "effective" my goals are. I'm trying to eat a proper breakfast AND a proper dinner every night, and trying to exercise 15 minutes a day and drink a shake. It's really not a matter of making them simpler as much as it is committing to doing them. I have commitment issues, man. D: Maybe I should nickname my challenge after my ex, then I would gladly do it every day ;D In other news, I might have lost 2 pounds, but I don't trust my weight that I really lost it.

Definitely down the chicken soup! It's a natural decongestant so it'll help destuff your face (it's my miracle drug since I have such bad sinus issues. I get splitting migraines from them. Down a can of chicken soup and i'm golden.) It just has to be brother, so it can be chicken noodle, chicken rice, just broth, ramen, pregresso, boulion, whatever! Definitely helps. Water will definitely help, too. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling. But that's really true. Even if I'm getting a D now, by the end I might have a C or a B or even an A for the week, but I'm not gonna get there if I throw in the towel! <3 I find myself not caring about my challenge thread, but updating in here. Good thing for a support group!

That sounds like a much better idea! I might have to think about that. You guys. I'm flailing. Like badly failing at this challenge. I don't know what's wrong. .-. Am I the only one super struggling or are we all kinda, struggling?

Rainra: My friend wants me to the do the Black Widow one and I'm like "I can barely do ONE exercise at a time, you want me to do combos?!" I'm off my rotation for my workouts so I can't remember if today should have been a strength day or not, so I'm gonna make it one and just start over. Mrs_cobb: BTW! Great job on dropping the two!

I've been thinking about redoing my quests too because I'm just... failing at them hard. It's good to see I'm not the only one who maybe started off wrong. XD I think your new goals sound a little more concrete and better for you, too.

Hey guys! So yesterday was actually horrible for me. My doctor's office screwed up calling in one of my prescriptions which is a psychiatric medication so I didn't have it yesterday. Withdrawal is brutal and instaneous (I usually take it at about 6 am, and by 10 am, it had already started). So. Yes. By the time I got home yesterday, nothing got done. This week will be a "B" for workouts for sure. I'm debating restructuring my quests. I'm not sure 5 30 minute workouts are really plausible. I can still squeak in the meals and the shakes even though I missed last nights. Wait. No... I think I missed two shakes. Grr. As far as gym anxiety - you guys are right. The best way to ignore it is to just...focus on me. The best thing with Nano is to just write. Some days you'll only get 300 and some days you'll get 3000. It balances out.

So! So far I have successfully completed my challenges all week with a few bumps along the way. I'm still super struggling with my diet but at least I'm eating "real" meals rather than junk only. I keep binge snacking at work and home though.