Vella

Standard Internet Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. If at all possible, go find one and see one; if it's affecting your ability to function in everyday life, it's serious enough to go see someone about. Don't wait for it to get worse. Agree with Seven of Seven's suggestion - see if you can get a referral. I've been there, it truly sucks. More big virtual hugs from this corner. I would suggest trying to do at least one thing to help every day - some days it might be making yourself go out and socialise with a really good, close friend so that you feel less lonely, but some days it might just be finding some time to sit down and do something crafty or creative alone. And then some days it might just be having a hot shower and congratulating yourself for getting through it all. The goalposts are yours and you're allowed to move them any time for any reason. Getting some basics done like pre-cooked meals (not just for physical health; knowing you can just reheat something and get a good meal any time you like takes a lot of stress off), and house cleaning when you feel good can make a huge difference on days when you feel really bad, because it means you don't have to feel guilty for all the things you haven't done on days when you don't have the energy. If you need to vent or anything, my PM box is open, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Even if you just need some virtual hugs.

Exactly! The problems mostly came from the kids who were older than about seven - although they were pretty fine with it, they had a harder time fitting it into their world view. I got the most questions from the 4-year-olds with no filter and the nine-year-olds who knew enough about biology to start asking the technical questions. Kids in the middle of those ages just kinda ran with it.

Argh! Curse my inability to look at dates on posts. I'm sure that RA's haircut is still amazing, however.

I think this one works.

Hey, all! Long time no see .... RA - you look amazing! I love your haircut. Re: Bathrooms - The whole thing has just so many holes in it, I'm just so sick of the whole thing. Cute story, though - I used to work in an after school care centre where I was out to the kids (we taught them about grammar and pronouns! It was fun!). One little girl in first year had more questions than just about anyone else I have ever met. Every day she'd come up and ask "So you're not a boy or a girl, right?" which usually meant there was going to be a lead-in to a whole other line of questioning ... One day, she asked the bathroom question. "Which bathroom do you use?" I said either, depending on how I felt on the day and whether there was a line at one of them. She said "Oh." She looked down, over at the bathrooms, and back at me. "But you should never use the boy's bathrooms." This will be good, I thought. "Why not?" "Because they always smell terrible. You shouldn't go into the smelly bathrooms if you can choose." Well, she wasn't wrong - the boys' bathrooms at that place were pretty putrid. I would love it if that was the only reason people could ever think of for me not going in whichever bathroom will make me most comfortable. One of them is cleaner than the other one. Grump. Cute kid, though.

Gosh, it's been a long time since I last logged on! This place looks totally different! So, late last year I was getting pretty good. I had a regular gym schedule, I was eating right. Ish. Maybe. OK, so I'd started buying snacks to get me through work and 'treating' myself to pizza at the end of the day and damn the consequences. Then work got hectic. The gym dropped. I stopped pre-preparing meals. I had a few Life Issues that made things difficult (90% of which can be summed up with the word 'anxiety'). My job finished. I was unemployed for a month. I got a new job, but I had to move interstate on a 24 hour turnaround to get there in time for it (long story). I got here, I stayed with friends and had my meals cooked for me for a while. Anxiety hit again; I stopped eating breakfast and bought crackers and dip and things in a box to eat for lunch because I couldn't bear to make food in their kitchen. I got a house and moved out and couldn't seem to get my feet under me enough to set up my house and look after my health. Christmas came and went, and I did really well on healthy eating. Oddly enough, much better than I'd been doing before. But I worked over the break and returned exactly as exhausted and off-balance as I had left. I started cooking lunches in my own kitchen again, but I still bought snacks like biscuits and chocolate to make myself feel better at work. Fast-forward to nearly-April and my goodness am I sick of this. I have just ... had it up to here. I hate feeling like I've gained so much weight back when I was doing so well, I can actually feel my muscles atrophying every day I stay away from the gym, I've stopped parkour, and I'm starting to be the right size/just a bit big for pants and jackets that used to be too big on me. I sleep terribly and I never leave the house because I can't wake up on a weekend. I called in the cavalry and my parents have stayed at my place for a week. The house is clean and my freezer is full of home-made meals which will hopefully last for a few weeks. It's the Easter long weekend and I'm sleeping through as much of it as physically possible. The job is quieting down, so I won't feel so worked off my feet. It's time. Stop the wagon for a sec, I wanna get back on. My plan is twofold: Stop buying junk on the way to work/buying packaged food for lunches. And start going to the gym again. My goal is once per week, but if I can get to two per week, all the better. Oh and get back into the NF community - I miss the motivation and the support here.

Seconding the suggestion to try drinking water (or tea - I'm a huge tea fan, and tea often makes me feel like I'm 'consuming' something more than water, because it's got flavour and takes me some effort to make). If you're having trouble with snacking, maybe try either increasing your meal portions a bit, or eating a larger number of smaller meals throughout the day? If it's just that you feel like you should be having some form of food thing, perhaps try veggies like carrots or celery. I sometimes sit with a carrot if I'm working while stressed because it takes me a while to eat the carrot and it stops me getting up and getting higher-calorie foods over and over again. That only works if the issue is food-for-comfort rather than food-for-hunger, though - if I'm still hungry after the carrot, I'll fix myself something a bit more substantial.

Hey, all. I was wondering if anybody could help me out gym-searching. Here in Canberra, I've found an amazing gym - it's got a really great atmosphere, it's small, so everybody knows each other and it's friendly, and it's run by people who know what they're doing, which makes it great for a newb to throw questions and know they're getting a helpful answer. Unfortunately, I'm moving to Melbourne in very short order. I need to find a new gym, but I have no idea where to look! I don't mind going to a bigger gym - my only absolute requirements are that there be decent freeweights and lifting equipment (because that's the only reason I go to the gym) and that I would much prefer a gym with a friendly or at least non-judgemental atmosphere (I don't mind a general 'do your thing and get out' culture, but for personal reasons I get very self-conscious, so a gym where I can reliably tell myself that the judging is all in my head and nobody really cares is a must). Any Aussie fitness nerds know the gym scene in Melbourne?

PC has the advantage of getting a lot of the indie games, which are very cartoony and family-friendly, and PC will often get releases that are on other consoles as well (except exclusives, obviously) because PC isn't seen as a direct competitor the way Xbox is to PS. But yeah, I think Nintendo is always going to have more major-release cartoony fun than any of the others.

Seconding The Night Circus, though yeah, the narrator is good but not the best I've heard. I really liked Michael Page's narration of 'The Lies of Locke Lamora' - fantasy heist novel is the best way I can sell that.

So much sympathy sent your way, Orchid I hope you can find a way to get welfare soon - I know that here it's often a matter of perseverance and making sure it's more effort for them to ignore you than to just give you the money (which is a really [profanity]ed up way to go about it, IMO). I guess just keep in mind that financial issues won't last forever, so there's an inherent time limit on your inability to transition. There will be a way you can make it work. That article is kind of fascinating, despite the language choices! Not so sure about the "I'd bet just about every transgender person who is female will want to do it" line for accuracy, but it would be a great step forward for those who do.

Welcome, sisustrong! Fellow afab agender person agreeing entirely about pockets Quite frankly, sexuality is strange, and I've decided I'm better off just saying "queer" and leaving it at that. I tried to tell a friend of mine that, with the joke "Once I got to four prefixes on my 'sexual', I figured it's time to think about picking an umbrella term", and their response was "Yeah, but what were the prefixes? Like, what section of 'queer' are you?" -.- If they were accurate, I wouldn't be using 'queer' ... Aaanyway, rant over. Welcome, hope you enjoy your stay.

Today I went to a gym that a friend recommended to me - not only is the atmosphere amazing (small gym, small core of regular members who are good friends, so a really inviting group), but they give you a free PT session with the owner, who really knows what he's talking about, and is really encouraging and awesome. I've found my gym and I have the money to pay for membership! Woo!

EGGPLANT. EGGPLANT IS BASICALLY MY FAVOURITE THING EVER. I'm currently trying to work out the Perfect Miso Eggplant (nasu dengaku) Recipe and it's not working so far but dammit, I will get it right! My standby is roasted in oil until it goes soft, and the smaller bits are a little burnt, even, with plenty of salt and whatever spice I'm feeling at the time: cumin is amazing, or paprika, or sometimes five-spice. Second to that, I'm a huge fan of all things dark, leafy and green. They're so versatile, they go in everything, they add depth to flavour ... really good base veggies for a lot of things. But I never met a vegetable I didn't like, personally. I could go on about the perfect recipes for [X vegetable] all day ...

Oh, I know where that is! It's a really nice spot down there. I had friends in Williamstown, which is just on the other side of the bay. When it wasn't too cold, that bay is a great place for kayaking. I recommend it highly, if you get the chance.

It's OK, I'm an Aussie, too, so sqm is just fine by me. I'm actually returning to Melbourne as the childhood home city myself! Are you out near Werribee, or Mornington Peninsula way?

A lot of people on here also recommend Starting Strength, which I'm starting up on in a week or two once I've found a gym I like. You could also check out the NF resources - they have a Barbell program as well as the bodyweight stuff, which IIRC comes with the free starter's kit. Other than that, the most important thing is going in with a plan, any plan, the simpler the better, and not feeling too embarrassed to stick with it for a while. You can always adjust it later if you need to, and it's nobody else's business what your workout routine looks like.

Myself and my mother both share this problem - my mother used to use it to her advantage when she played netball as a teenager, because two minutes into the game she'd be so red you could use her as an airplane landing light and she'd look like she was nearly out of energy, but actually she'd still be totally fresh and sometimes the other team wouldn't mark her properly because of it! Both of us have mild, non-threatening circulation issues (when we walk for a while or run for a while, particularly in cold climates, blood doesn't run from our fingers properly, so they tend to swell a bit and get sore), so that might be a contributing factor. Definitely check with the doctor, but I know a fair number of people who have that issue, and it's not a serious concern, so it may not be a cause for concern.

Sailsgoboom - Those calculations make a lot of sense ... I never thought of it like that! I'm so used to thinking of each day as a separate unit! Raincloak - It is a pretty significant deficit. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not meeting it at the moment (I have had a fair bit of food donated these past couple of weeks, and am eating the leftovers from dinner parties, so I've not been tracking for a bit), so that will probably contribute. I've got the ingredients now for some nut butter biscuits I can take a couple of for the afternoons and I've pre-boiled a heap of eggs, and I've got a week's worth of dinners in the fridge. If I'm still eating everything in the house after that, I'll be a little more concerned, I think. Thanks for the input, folks

Congrats, Thrillho, and best of luck on your exam! HailGenocide! - That's so awesome. One day, that is my goal - when I have "disposable income". What size block of land? For me, I just got another one: Recognised that I'm not happy living where I am now, particularly in my current social circle, and have decided to move back to my childhood home city with my friends from primary school. I've figured out all the logistics, how to make it happen. I've also decided not to move until I have found a stable job that pays me what my skills are worth, and a unit I'll be happy living in. Because I don't want to move from one place where my living arrangements are good, but I don't like the city and don't get to see the people I'd like to spend most of my time with often just to not have enough money to live with, or a place I'll be unsatisfied in. I want to eliminate my problems, not reverse them!

Thrillho is right - get ahead early and then you can have a few off days later on and they won't affect your overall total. Also: don't write something that you're not enthusiastic about. You'll hate it by the end of the month otherwise. And remember: 50,000 words is a lot, but 1,600 words is just over three pages. Three pages is totally doable in a day - especially if you're an outliner and you have a clear idea of what you're going to write in them. Always break up the story into manageable chunks. Finally, if you know where your burn-out point is, keep it in mind, but don't be afraid of it. Binge-writing twice your normal count in a day probably won't do you harm, so be glad of being on a roll. But if you know that, say, writing more than 5,000 words will make you lethargic the next day, or writing after a certain time of night will cut into your sleep too much and you won't function well the next day, then don't do that. Be glad of extra productivity, but don't let the pressure get to you. Likewise, there's no shame in not completing NaNo. Often when you stop feeling bad about your productivity levels, the writing will flow better.

Hi, all. So, I just started at a new job (by which I mean started back at my seasonal job from last year), and I've realised I come home about ready to eat everything in the house, and then some, and if anybody has troubleshooting advice, that would be awesome. For the record, as soon as I can go shopping on Sunday, I'm planning to stock up on foods I can snack on at work, but I'm wondering if other people have come across a similar problem and the answer was something different. Basic routine: Roll out of bed about ten minutes later than I intend to (this is why I build buffer into my mornings), clothes go on, basic grooming happens, pick up work lunch from fridge, head out the door. I usually get hungry around 12 noon, and then finish whatever task I have and have my lunch break (generally 12:15 to 12:30). My lunch is usually reheated dinner (the rest of the office kind of hates me at the moment because I make the office smell like delicious food), and a serving size is a rectangular Chinese takeaway container stuffed until I have to squeeze the lid closed. For a quick reference to the kind of food, one lunch has been stewed mince in tomato paste and chicken stock, with potatoes and carrots and onions and leafy greens; the other has been fish curry in a coconut milk and fish stock base with, again, plenty of veg for bulk. Slow-cooker foods with a good serve of protein and a whole bunch of veg, in other words. Going by recent calorie tracking trends, I average 400-500 calories for a meal serving like these. Then, I work through till the end of my shift, though I have been known to be tempted by the biscuits in the kitchenette - I stop at two, though, if I do eat them. I leave work at 4:30 (soon to be extended to 5:30), feeling peckish. By the time I get home I'm nearly too hungry to be bothered with cooking at all. I reheat something again or throw something together, then usually go back for a second serve, and an hour later I still find myself going over to the fridge and wondering what I can snack on. I used to be OK after a handful of nuts, now I could easily eat a whole packet if I left it open on my desk. Basic stats: Height - mid-160cm range - about 5'6" or 5'7". Weight: 72kg/158lb Calorie goal: 1400 or 1500 cals Exercise: Desk work with a good bit of walking around the office for filing or communicating with workmates - I estimate 40/60 split of on my feet and at the desk. Parkour once a week, currently - still getting back into my exercise routine and shopping around for gyms. I think step 1 is definitely see if I can't pick up some snacks this weekend to eat near the end of my work day, see if not being super hungry at dinner time makes me inclined to eat less. But if anybody has any other suggestions, then I'd be interested to hear them!

I won NaNo last year only because I set a ridiculous goal for the month and killed the first two weeks, so when I dropped off, it didn't matter so much

Thanks, folks. You're right - I need to start reinforcing some boundaries. I've been kind of avoiding her on Internet, so I think I've got enough distance now to go back and do the thing again.

Grifball - I'll check those out! Thanks I may shoot you a question or two once I start earning a real paycheck again next week.