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Everything posted by Kishi

  1. Goal: 13/17 Day didn't go great. Spent most of my day banging my head against the wall trying to get anything done. These new case types I'm working need a lot more investment in terms of the work I have to do to open them up and get them spinning. It's really frustrating, because the time I'm spending opening these cases is time spent not getting them ready for medical review or else closing them, and those two steps are the vital ones in terms of keeping my caseload managed. It doesn't help any that we've lost some of the consultants we had in this branch with no plans to replace, and also we've lost a lot of the drs that we were sending claimants to, so everything takes longer to get anywhere. None of it's my fault, but I'm still held responsible, I guess because I should be some kind of Disability Whisperer and I should just be able to know and plan around whatever new nonsense they present me with. For the record, it's not like any of the procedures we have actually account for this stuff. I was able to get my training done at the last second, but I missed out on some elbow rehab I've been doing. It's not that big a deal; honestly, I could probably scale back my strength work some and resolve my issues, but it always makes me a little surly whenever real life butts up against training. Luckily, it didn't last. I prayed for peace on the way out to see my friends, and my prayer was answered. Good thing, too, because my friends noticed that I'm getting older on Sunday, so they wanted to celebrate with me. Looks like we'll be going off to see Dune Part 2, which I'm really excited to see. I think Villeneuve's version is probably the best cinematic version so far (followed by the Sci Fi channel miniseries, if anyone's asking). I was looking for an excuse to see it, and now I'll get to see it with my friends, and that's dope. I had hoped today to get my training done before going to the office, but that didn't happen. No loss per the goals; I can just get after it tonight sometime, although when exactly that'll be is unclear. Not sure if I'm playing chess with my friend tonight or not. Guess we'll see.
  2. Exactly. And I can't really vouch for either of these. I'm prone to "junk volume" as it is, so I don't trust myself to add more work and necessarily know that it's beneficial. * Goal: 12/16 Woot! Finally made mat time happen. It was a closer thing than I'd like to admit, but I did get it done. Managed to finish off my strength work with 4+ hours to spare for rest, repair, and recovery. It was too close to make the striking class, but I was able to get out for BJJ, and I'm pleased to report that it was the first warm-up I'd had in a while where I wasn't just hurting my way through it. Every movement was smooth and easy, and I was really surprised to see that. Also, I switched from going to the concurrent fundamentals class to the regular class and I was able to keep up with everything that we were doing. Which, that shouldn't surprise me. I could to that before. But it was still gratifying. Got a few rounds of sparring in and started getting some pointers on what proper escapes look like. Which is good, as that's what I'm going to be working on for the next however many years it takes to get to purple. 6? 7 years? Whatever. The time will be spent either way, so might as well do it doing something I like to do. I'm pleased to report that I only got tapped once, which was a validating experience. Today, I'm working from home on account of dr's appt earlier. Got out to follow up on my labs and basically everything got better. My blood sugars are down, my A1C is walking back from the pre-diabetic range, even my lipids are doing better, and this on 1-3 whole eggs a day and fish every other day. I actually upped my fat intake a touch just to accommodate the fish and I was worried about that. Knowing that I can increase that in my macros now and actually get good results - HDL up, LDL down, overall numbers dropped - is really striking to me. I don't know if I necessarily want to go overboard with that, but it does make me kind of curious to see how far I could go in terms of adding more fats to the diet. Having that flexibility would just make nutrition a little easier, but then again, if things are going so well now, do I really want to mess with it? I dunno. But, it's been a good couple days, and getting more than one of those at a time is always nice. So I will take it.
  3. Goal: 11/15 Not much to report about today. Mats were open for strike tutoring and so I made it out. It was good, despite how long I've been off/felt off. My movement quality is preserved; I'm just a little rusty on distance management, which tracks if I'm being honest. Shadowboxing can only do but so much. Maybe that's a reason to go back to a gym, since the one that's walkable actually has a bunch of heavy bags, and I could use that for practicing distance. It's a thought. A compelling thought, even though I can't manage my time well enough now to do all the things that I want to do just as it is. Because the issue has been that I'm doing my strength work too late in the day, and the gym is open later, so that could mediate things somewhat. But the counterpoint is that this could just as easily work out to one of those things where I'm "training for the training I want to do." I certainly don't want that to happen, and assuming that I'm going to get stuff sorted and make mat time happen, I don't know how to constructively throw additional gym time on top. I'm trying to go from "one a day" to "two a day" and added gym time would make "three a day," which... is just a bit much, I think. Which means that the gym is just a substitute for the mats, but how much do I want to pay for substitute work? I don't know. In the meantime, I made it work today. Time to let tomorrow be sufficient for its own troubles.
  4. That's always been my selling point for minimalism. That, and the fact that there's always so much to move when people bring me over to help.
  5. Goal: 10/14 Howdy, y'all! Sorry I been away. Didn't mean to be. Just kind of found myself needing to grapple with the job and with my sleep schedule. Wound up losing to both this week, so I managed my strength/rehab work and not much else. I had thought to maybe turn that around today, but my younger brother made it back to NC after being out on exercises with his unit, which was a surprise. I felt like I really ought to go spend time with him and the rest of my family this morning rather than do BJJ, so I did. That's kind of been the story of things the last couple weeks. I have this deep desire to return to the mats, but that wanting is balanced by a sense of responsibility for things that I feel I have to take. So it always seems like the right thing to do in the moment, but it's working out such that I'm not getting what I want either. This is... tough. But more in the way of growing pains than anything else. "If I do what I've always done, I will get what I've always got." And that hasn't been enough for me. So I'm trying to do something different. Some parts of it are working and some parts need to be tweaked further. Fundamentally, I think I'm on the right track with doing what I'm doing. I just haven't got far enough in the changes for it to be reflected in my goal numbers. I do regret that the outcome has been a drop in my mat time. I don't regret how it happened, though. I had to move my wake-up time today to 9 AM for the folks. Want to see if I can get that process to take root and become my new wake-up time going forward. Meantime, I'll get a walk before it's supposed to rain this afternoon. Probably need to get that done sooner rather than later. Cool.
  6. Salad kits are my go-to for social gatherings because they're quick, easy, and filling. 2 kits is enough for 5 people most nights, and you're right: they do save money. So, kudos!
  7. Hey, you find it somewhere, you let me know. Might have to look into that my own self. * Goal: 7.5/10 Welp, the job did what it does and got in the way. No excuse. I've had a week of exposure to this to know what was coming. I should have planned it better. Tuesday wound up being strange in a good way. I woke up at about 7 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. Thanks to that, I was able to get up and get some training done before having to go to the office for an all-day stay. From there, it was off to Sci Fi night where we finished off season 2 of Star Trek: DS9, which I've been enjoying so far. Got back home late at night and elected to do more training, which I shouldn't have because it wired me up and I wound up staying up into the early morning this morning. I got to bed, got up late, and couldn't make training happen so I'm off the mats tonight to make rehab stuff happen. The good part about last night, though, is that I experimented some with the new equipment I have for home-rigging things. I think I'll be able to push off the need for a gym until I'm comfortably getting up early in the morning. Which is underselling it. The program I'm going to switch to is another home program, and I intend to give it a proper 12 weeks, which means I won't need gym access for at least another 3 months. That's plenty of time to work on my sleep schedule and it'll also let me get after a bunch of home stuff too while I'm at it. Or so it seems for now. Plenty could go sideways between here and there. Such is the way. I will need a couple new pieces of equipment. ATG offers these, but they're pricier than I'm willing to pay, especially when I can find third party equipment on the cheap. No need to spend more than I have to. But, uh, yeah. Tonight, rehab and drills and even some writing. Try to get down on time so I can get up ahead of things tomorrow. I've got a glimpse of what's possible. Need to expand that further.
  8. For sure! I've had that experience with a lot of different programs. Might be this one's no different. I haven't got there yet, so I couldn't say. Inyang doesn't talk about all the specifics of his program, but he gives some pieces here and here, to give you an idea. The program itself exists within the "ATG App," a sort of training ecosystem for a bunch of different coaches who have tried to apply these principles of "Strength At Length" in a variety of sport-specific ways. So, basically, it's paywalled at this point. But, you know, people talk, and I mean, you know. If you wanted to ask questions, well, I mean, gosh, what could I do? It's not like I'd want to lie and tell you wrong. Lying is bad.
  9. Huh! I didn't know cornflowers came in that color. Shame. They're my favorite flower. ❤️ Also, I'm pretty late to the fruit discussion; even so, I'd like to point out that frozen fruit beats the fresh stuff by a country mile 99 times in a hundred. It's picked fresh and frozen on the spot, so it's a much more consistent product and generally higher quality to boot by dint of being preserved rather than sitting out for however long. I haven't run a price comparison yet to see for certain if they're cheaper per unit, but OTOH they're generally available in greater bulk quantities than their fresh counterparts and I find myself willing to eat an additional cost for that kind of quantity. That's just me, tho, and ymmv based on your preferences and what's available. That's rough. Sorry to hear. My dad may have cracked a rib doing some home repairs last week. What is it with our elderfolk and their ribs? Must be something going around.
  10. Goal: 6/8 Not much to say about yesterday. Free point on account of strike tutoring being cancelled for an in-house tournament. The loss of training was not my fault, so I take no blame. So instead, I slept long and late, did some writing, and visited my folks. Slept long enough to have a short Sunday before having to go back to sleep for the job and working today, but I made up for a lack of quantity with a higher quality, I think. My folks are babysitting a little shih tzu dog for some Church friends, and he is kind of the best. Super cute, and good for my folks, I think. Anyway, gotta get on to today. Managed to turn on "Focus Mode" for my phone before going to bed last night, so no real distractions when I got up this morning. Things are moving better. Can't wait to see how the job throws that off.
  11. You and me must be sharing a wavelength because I went on a research tear today too, for stuff related to my strength work and then some stuff related to the setting of the novel. And it was great to actually have the time to go out and walk during the day for once instead of being out at night time. Glad to hear we both got the opportunity to do stuff we wanted to do.
  12. Hey, just wanted you to know that I'm rooting for you too. I hope you get lots of good sleep and the peace and clarity necessary to do what you have to do.
  13. Thank you both! I'm doing better today. The good thing about bad times and bad feelings is they don't really last (thanks to some chemical/material privileges that I have). Sometimes they're just things endured, and I'm, ah, fortunate in that I've had a lot of opportunities to learn to endure. * Goal: 5/7 Sigh. I feel better. I got the chance to talk to my bosses yesterday about my struggles with the new position, and thankfully they were sympathetic about it. I didn't really know that I was struggling with what I was struggling with until I told them, but it made everything fit. I wasn't really relieved about it in the moment, but some hours on from there after a night's sleep, I think it helped a lot. Also, journaling, something I've been making a point to do again. Doing that just this morning actually made a big difference in terms of how I feel. Which is cool to observe, and given that I can benefit in a lot of ways from doing so, it's probably worth doing more. I got up early enough to make the mats today, but I elected to journal and make breakfast, and I didn't finish those tasks in time to make it out to BJJ, so that's a loss for today. I actually don't mind it today just because of the mental exercises this morning, but I'm still surprised at how... ah, leisurely I am if left to my own devices. Or maybe distracted is a better word for it? Too much time staring at my phone, although I like to think I'm doing so for good reasons. So, what happened this week? Well, broadly speaking, it went pretty well. As far as the "strength at length" training went, it was a productive week. I've started off on the "Knees Over Toes Zero Program," which is a minimal equipment rehab/introduction to the concepts that the Toe People train with. My goal is to get to "Untapped," which is their BJJ-specific program. I had originally thought that there was a syllabus for getting from where I am now to where I'm going, but I finally understood this week that there really isn't one. I'm kind of on my own to make it happen, and I can pick and choose my own way through their programs to get to where I want to go. That is both wondrous and overwhelming, just because of the sheer number of ways I have to attack this problem. Paralysis by analysis is very real here. But I've really started drilling down into my sense of what my prerequisites are and what I need to attack and how I need to attack it. And honestly? My first pre-requisite is getting up early enough to get to the gym before any other kind of specialized equipment or exercise. It's something I've made some progress this week too; I've been getting up at 10:00-10:30 for a while now (shhhh, don't tell the job) but this week I was able to consistently make 09:45, which is significant progress in terms of getting down early and getting up early. My sense is that I want/need to get up earlier, but before that I'm actually going to take today to take a walk to the gym to see how long it takes so I can get a sense of what kind of time commitment I'm looking at there in the long term. Once the raise with my promotion goes into effect, I'll probably sign up and just do the program exercises there for a time before beginning to invest in specialized equipment. Mat time, sadly, was another story. I wasn't able to complete my strength work in time to get out on the mats. I feel good enough in my body that I think my initial concerns were valid - that my strength work and my martial arts work were interfering with each other - so I don't think I'm on the wrong track here, but I think I may have underestimated the sheer weight of the logistics I have to deal with in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish. That gatdang interconnectedness of all things, man. Never underestimate it. So. It seems to me that if I want to change things this week, I need to make a point of getting up earlier and being more intentional with my screen use in the morning. Fortunately, I have some tools/phone settings that can help with that. Otherwise... yeah. Really glad to be on the done side of this week. Time to rest and walk and write and ponder. Oh, and to get around to all y'all too, that would be good.
  14. Goal: 4.5/6 Howdy, y'all! Sorry I haven't been about. My mental health actually hasn't been the greatest this week - lots of really big swings in emotion that I haven't really had the time or the space to process very well. A couple things that were important to me and that I thought I had strong grasp upon seem to have become alien almost overnight, between my job and my chess play, and rather than see these as problems of changing circumstance requiring new skill acquisition, I got really anxious instead. Something I don't know if I mentioned here or if it's just been a while is that I had some genetic screening done a while ago, and I've got some markers for Alzheimer's and dementia, and this week I got really triggered about it because of that experience that I mentioned just above. It's frightening. I got bad enough that the friend I was playing chess with on Wednesday nights picked up on it and we didn't wind up playing, and I feel bad about it for a bunch of reasons that, on their own, are terribly silly but feel incredibly heavy in my experience of them. And the challenge itself has been pretty hard. I've been pushing myself to get up earlier, and I am, but I'm still not getting up early enough to get AM training and the job done, and it doesn't help that despite my best efforts, the job isn't really responding to things that worked before. I think I know why, but the solution to my problem means a bit more effort than I've been putting in, and I can't control when that effort pays off or the degree to which it will, or the degree to which I'm going to have to change to make those happen. And that's been really hard for me to deal with this week. Life is like this sometimes. It's probably one of the reasons I need to go to therapy. Just to get checked out, make sure that I'm normal. And if what I'm experiencing isn't, well, I need to know that too. That's a problem for future Kishi, who hopefully will have the pay for his promotion go through sooner rather than later. I'm not sure if my paycheck actually reflects my updated earnings or not just yet since it's not clear if I've been updated in the payroll. I know better than to worry about that stuff, but proper apathy just isn't easy right now. Anyway. Off to finish my workday and get some training done. We'll see what shakes out.
  15. She looks legit! I also really like that she appears to do other movement stuff too; that looks really cool. A couple others that might be worth looking into: https://www.youtube.com/@seanfagan https://www.youtube.com/@IronboyExperience
  16. Did somebody say... CHESS!? Aah, yes, the most civilized game I lost a Wednesday night to regular chess with someone who's playing better than me lately on the Rapid games. I'm trying to pick up Bullet chess as a result. Hey, if you want someone to play with, feel free to look me up. I'm playing as "Tousousha" (the Struggler) on chess.com these days. I need to get smashed some more.
  17. Yeah, for sure! Especially with losing our overtime like we did; now I can't use that to mitigate any productivity problems I might have had during the day, so there are going to be days where I get to the end and have to cancel last minute because I need that last hour to try to put something together.
  18. I suspect this might be me sometimes. I know that with my meditation, a lot of it is just sitting and observing, but I don't do a lot as far as being intentional with it. I suspect this may be a limiting factor in terms of the benefits of meditation for me. So, I can relate. I think it's cool, though, that your teachers push you on such matters.
  19. I mean, why not? And besides, my Mom's an excellent cook for all that she plays modest; it was a good time. Eek, I didn't really spell out martial arts components enough. Monday and Friday are broadly to be striking days, to the extent that they can be. Friday's a funky day, though, because the striking class is actually conducted before the end of my work hours, and there are possible open mats on Friday night for me to do/go to instead, so I don't really know what I'll be doing those days if anything at all. I might have set myself up for some ongoing penalties that day, which, if it happens, then it is what it is. I wish I could be more specific, but I won't know until I get there. Thursday is going to be a BJJ day; no ifs, ands, or buts about it, because that's all that's available that day. Saturday is a BJJ day when I wake up early enough for it. Sunday is a Muay Thai day, although as it's on a Sunday, it can take backseat to inhouse events like tournaments and stuff. That's actually going to happen this upcoming Sunday, so I guess I'll take a freebie then? Dunno. With all that said... * Goal: 1.5/2 Done goofed already. But that's why it's a challenge, no? I basically got up too late to get after the AM training proper, and as I said, I'm going to prioritize that as it translates to enough movement gains that I get a lot more out of my mat time when I do this. I basically got up, read some scripture and some Stoics, did some writing, and then got into my caseload, which was on fire in all the usual ways after the weekend. Also got the news that the overtime that we were cleared for this month was mysteriously revoked for some reason this weekend. We have no explanation, and no expectation that anything is forthcoming. So I actually had an opportunity to get my training done later and then go hit up grappling as that class is available later tonight after the striking, but I squandered that opportunity too, to the job's benefit and to my detriment. As is usual. I may have a chance to make this up tomorrow, though. My Tuesday get-together may be off on account of the host having had recent funerary travel to do and with Valentine's coming up the following Wednesday, so I might be able to make it out to a Tuesday class. Which, if I do, I'll take the half point back as a kind of extra credit. But, yeah, this kind of points to what I said about how everything's connected. Because I need to get up earlier, there's a sleep component, and because I can feel the dirt beneath my feet, there's a cleaning component. So there's really a lot more to it than just stepping away from the computer to get some sets and reps. I will get my training done and see to some home drilling. I got that doorway anchor that I mentioned last challenge and it's proven to be a game changer for some of the drilling I'm able to do, which is a plus. Also, I've been in touch with the KOT coaches and got some insight on what kind of additional stuff is available to me to do that I can get benefit from. So. Good times.
  20. Goal: 1/1 Thought I might elect to sleep through training, but I got up and decided to persevere. Moved well on the mats today; felt good and snappy. That's what I like about what I'm doing these days the most, I think. I think I would have preferred to get some breakfast in me beforehand, but that's harder to pull off given the time that I get up and how relatively early the training takes place on Sundays. Diet's actually been weird this weekend - I got up super late yesterday and just wasn't hungry until dinner time, so I went with it and respected my body on that, but then I got up and trained and came back home and did drills and now I'm ravenous and I gotta shower off and go visit my folks. Fortunately, I think it's gonna even out since indulgences are on the docket on account of the Football Fandom having its Annual Event for the year. Should be good times.
  21. Kind of inspired by @Red1263. And I like the vibe of this one. Even though it is a monastery, and a separated space, it doesn't feel as isolated as the other fantasy pieces do where the monastery is built in the mountains. That is, it doesn't feel as removed from day to day concerns as the other pieces tend to. I like it for that. Feels truer to life somehow. Also, I like the feeling that it mixes East and Southeast Asian aesthetics for a real fantasy vibe. But that's just me tho. Anyway, howdy, y'all! Welcome to another challenge. Peace and be welcome. Last challenge, things went really great. I stopped leaning so much on caffeine and got really sensitive to it as a result, and I ranked up to a blue belt in BJJ, which caught me by surprise, and I advanced in my writing to the point that I'm writing prose on my novel, and... I just feel good. Good enough that I feel like I can make some significant changes in my life this year, things that I want for myself. This was my wishlist as I was able to articulate it to myself: I want to get my freaking apartment cleaned up finally. I want to lose a significant amount of weight, because I have a significant amount to lose. I want to graduate to pain free movement. I want to complete a draft of the novel and get it before some beta readers. I want to go to therapy. I want to start dating again. But you might notice that my topic and my tags, along with my tendency to only do one goal for a challenge, kind of makes it sound like I'm not getting after any of these. I beg to differ. It's been my observation that nothing exists in isolation; rather, everything relates and exists within a context. Training exists in a context with sleep and nutrition, and these exist in relationship with job and income and privilege, and these exist in a social context within which I have to live and move and have my being. It sounds like highfalutin nonsense, but what it basically boils down to is I can't change one thing without changing a whole bunch of other things at the same time. In this case, a movement goal helps me get after the clean up goal, the weight loss goal, and the pain free goal, because my place is messy enough that it interferes with my movement I weigh enough that it impacts my joint health (although it also provides free resistance too, so it's not like it's all bad) moving pain free is dope So, big ol' wind up. What does it all mean? Well, those of you what know me or followed me for a while know I've got a tendency to mix and match stuff from a lot of different trainers/training philosophies, but it's only been in the past month or so that I've really come to internalize the concept of "Junk Volume," or Bruce Lee's maxim of "Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." I thought for a long that what I was doing giving myself an opportunity to express my body in a lot of different ways, and maybe that was true, but I wasn't being truthful with myself in terms of why I was doing what I was doing. Truth is, I was mad at myself for developing obesity, and I've been punishing myself for it, working beyond my ability to recover, and really failing to develop the attributes that I actually want for myself. That's not to say I don't want cool shit like front lever rows or heavy kettlebell snatches or long-distance heavy rucking or things like that, but I don't want them at the expense of pain free movement or the ability to do striking and grappling well into old age, and I suspect that that's what I've been doing. So after a lot of thought, I've elected to go with Ben Patrick/Knees Over Toes Guy's programs, specifically with the goal of building toward the BJJ strength program that he put together along with Nsima Inyang. As I mentioned to @The Most Loathed, I've been listening lately to Dr. Mike Israetel, a jiujiteiro/bodybuilder/Dr of Sports Physiology, and I eventually stumbled across one of his videos from some years ago where he talks about blending strength work and grappling, and he specifically recommends that there be as much separation between these as is possible so that they don't interfere with each other. And you might not think that a knee/body rehab program would count as bodybuilding/strength work, but Mr. Toes has personally said that he considers his work to be a mix of bodybuilding and yoga, specifically because he seeks to develop "strength at length." 7 weeks in, I think that claim is worth taking seriously, especially since I do have a feeling that my martial arts and my strength work have been in conflict with one another. So, what is my goal? My goal is to get myself to the point that I'm doing my strength work 4-6 hours before I go out to the mats. This will mean doing my strength work in the AM, and doing mat time at night. Night time mat time isn't going to be an option all the time, however, and my scoring for the challenge is going to account for that. Knees Over Toes (KOT) program presently runs Monday to Friday. Saturday and Sunday are rest days. Night training is only available Monday, Thursday, and Friday. Saturday and Sunday are noon and morning, respectively, but it doesn't matter, because those are rest days. Therefore, Monday, Thursday, and Friday training will each be worth half a point. So KOT is half a point, and mat time is half a point. Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday trainings are each worth a full point, because only one kind training is available to do on those days if I assume that the goal is for these to harmonize with one another rather than interfere with one another. Half points are still possible on days where I follow one program and not the other when I could have feasibly followed both. I will bias toward KOT because of its rehab benefits and its carryover to more of my life than mat time. If you followed me last challenge, you might recall that I could have a potential obstacle in that the building's washing machine busted, but I'm pleased to report that my landlord actually took care of this in a timely fashion and I have laundry facilities restored on the premises. So that's good news. Making this work is going to mean getting to bed earlier and getting up earlier, something that I've allowed to slip. It's also going to mean balancing my work-life balance a bit since I'm cleared for OT with the job right now and I need to work as much as I can/they'll let me before it cuts off at the end of the month again. Not sure how it's going to bear out since our legislators can't budget for shit these days, so I might get more next month and I might not. Just gotta be like water, I guess. But hey, here we are, on time for once. Cool. Looking forward to seeing how this one goes.
  22. Well, hi hey howdy, dude! Welcome back! Sounds like you've been through and seen a lot since the last time you were here. It sounds like it's been a good time. Happy to see you around for the challenge! I'll try to do my part of bugging pestering nagging keeping you accountable to posting here. Because I'm here for you. Any particular channels you're visiting for Muay Thai? I might have some recommendations if you're interested, although you might be able to do just as good on your own as anything I could provide.
  23. But what a step though! And hey, if you need help, I will totally travel to the coast for baked goods.
  24. Whoa, whoa, wait, hold on, so how many gi are we talking here? And when you say you hang the gi, are you talking about jackets only? Or do the pants get hung up too?
  25. Well! Looks like the new challenge threads are up, so I guess it's time to go. I've alluded to a kind of epic goal that I have for myself, but as I've tried to articulate it to myself, it hasn't really been anything beyond the Will To Change. I have a deep discontent with my life and the way things are now, and I have a sense that if I don't do something about it now, it's going to be too late. Which is silly, of course. There's really no such thing as too early or too late; it's just time for things to happen when they do. But the sense of urgency remains, so I might as well make use of it. Among other things, I want to get my freaking apartment cleaned up finally. I want to lose a significant amount of weight, because I have a significant amount to lose. I want to graduate to pain free movement. I want to complete a draft of the novel and get it before some beta readers. I want to go to therapy. I want to start dating again. I have to admit, putting my desires out to myself makes the whole thing feel a little ambitious. But not overly so. And even if I miss, well, so what? Miss the moon and land among the stars, says I. But, yeah, these are things that I need to take a bit to figure out how to get after. These are just a wishlist until I have a way to actually get after them. I intend to take the week to figure it out, although I think I have my goal for next challenge lined up. It's a little tongue-in-cheek, but that's not the worst thing in the world. In the meantime, wow, what a ride this was! I entered into the new year and got a running start on moving around pain free. I got my Blue Belt in BJJ, and caffeine has become a tool rather than a necessity. What a way to start the year! We move on into the next, but in the meantime I'd be remiss if I didn't extend my gratitude to the community for being here for me as I struggle on. This last challenge has really been an eye-opener in terms of showing what this place means to me, and I'm glad for all y'all what are still here. My thanks to @Everstorm, @Scaly Freak, @Sovalis, @Mistr, @sarakingdom, @The Most Loathed, @TimovieMan, and anyone else I missed along the way. This is the right kind of a peculiar place for me to be, and it wouldn't be so without you. Thank you all. See you next round!
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