Kishi

Man, I'm incredibly struck these days by the relationship of bodies and position. Went over some back-take from guard vs pendulum sweep work and the difference is in where the top partner's head is located. It's truly wild stuff. Yeah, they do that. I'm facing something similar, having found a hyper-efficient work process that's rendered me super-effective. Boss wants me to demonstrate for folk, and I'm kind of concerned that upper management is going to eventually hear about it, standardize it, and then push us to the grindstone even harder. There's no timeframe for it; just a kind of ongoing dread, but things coming to life beyond my control is kind of a thing I deal with around here anyway, so. I can relate.

* Goal 1: 16/16 Goal 2: 15/16 Goal 3: 10/16 Yesterday, I got good news! While my ortho does think that my shoulder needs to heal some more yet, he cleared me for "situational sparring" in BJJ; i.e., starting from a position and working out one way or the other. I got my fix last night at the fundamentals class, and did pretty well with everyone I rolled with. Mostly it was just guard work - one person starts out in the other's guard and top person has to pass while the bottom person has to sweep or submit. At least held my own in all three rolls and outfoxed my partner in two of the three. I think I have S&S to thank for that; there were a couple places where I had to grind for what I wanted and I was comfortable doing so in a way that I don't recall having been in recent memory. So. Good times. Afterward, went out with friends and watched Cocaine Bear. It's... okay. All the good bits are in the trailers, but they only comprise 10 minutes tops and there's another 85 minutes of movie to go. Too many single note characters and not enough story or stakes to make them necessary, so while the high points are high, they don't last and it's a long slog from one to the next. Also, the film is very tonally confused. It starts off wanting to be some kind of horror/thriller comedy, like Jaws with jokes, but then it starts to muddle. Is it a cop comedy? Is it a drug comedy? Is it a touching motherhood story? Are we supposed to root for the Cocaine Bear? I don't know. And I don't think the movie does either. But maybe I'm being too hard on a movie that doesn't want to be taken seriously. Sure, okay. But I think back to my nearest point of reference, which would be something like Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz. These are chaotic, character-centric comedies with lots of comically bloody violence, and they're good. If I had to guess why I think so, I think I'd say that they actually have a core cast of characters to actually build a narrative around. Cocaine Bear really doesn't have that, and I think the movie suffers for it. Still, it was an excuse to get together with friends and be social. I'm not really down or negative on the film. Like I said, its good bits are good. Just not enough of 'em. Leaves me kind of meh about it. Anyway, that's that. Had to come into the office today. Got enough work done to feel like I'm in a good place for mat time, but I missed out on S&S and I've got some batch cooking to do, so I'm probably going to ease off tonight. Should be good, I think.

Goal 1: 15/15 Goal 2: 14/15 Goal 3: 9/15 Managed to beat the game this weekend! I was curious about what the game would reflect back to me and it turns out that I'm both an ardent communist and a very good cop. Or, as my character yells at the very end: "I AM A POLICEMAN OF THE STATE TO COME!" I'll spare y'all my gushing about it. It's a damn good game. I'll probably come back to it as a yearly thing, try out different builds and see what happens. But as it is, I got what I wanted out of this first playthrough and then some. It was a really good time. My writing numbers don't necessarily reflect it but I've been productive 2 of the last 3 days since, so this is going to improve with time. Saturday and Sunday were fairly unremarkable. I wound up taking a rest on Saturday and got up earlier on Sunday, which was good! Sunday night, I did not get to bed on time despite all my best efforts and I wound up getting up at the normal time. And then I decided to hell with it and snuck out to do mat shenanigans anyway. And guys. It was totally fine. Didn't affect anything one way or the other. I went out and studied and came back and worked and everything was fine. I was every bit as productive as I would have otherwise been had I not gone. I finished my work ahead of schedule, even. The difference was, I didn't hit up Simple and Sinister beforehand, and I wound up slacking off at the end of the day, but I could have done that too if I'd really wanted to. You might have noticed that I adjusted Goal 1 to full compliance because I've since come around to thinking that organic rest is a part of the program. It tracks with Pavel's observations and it makes sense to me, since all responsible programs have a rest period of some kind built in. Only thing is, if every day is actually contributing to training in some way, then the goal really doesn't mean anything. OTOH, I don't really care. My whole thing right now is logging and tweaking, and this challenge has been useful already for that. I have no complaints. Looking at the schedule that I laid out for additional work with S&S, I found myself feeling like the "Rest" day was weird, so I'm probably going to start doing neck work again. It fits in neatly right now since my handstand work is just focused on hand and wrist prep ATM rather than total inversions, and a strong neck is actually really vital for both striking and grappling. This will have to be revisited once I start in on inversions again because they open up with tripod stands and head stands and things of that nature, and I'm not sure how all that would play together, but that's a problem for Later, and I gotta get there first. Um, also! After reviewing this article and its programming, I've started to work in "Original Strength" resets. This is something @Shotokan used to do, and while I'm skeptical of their qualifications and a lot of the claims that they make, I can't deny that I feel better doing what they say than I have in a while. It's not the cureall it claims to be, but it's also been helpful with some lower back issues I've been dealing with, and it's even got my elbow feeling so good that I've actually been forgetting to do that program. I honestly wonder if I should adjust things a bit and maybe just take another 6 weeks; do resets and use the flex bars to work on the elbow, and then resume my pulling work? I dunno. This is a deviation from the plan, but it may be a worthy one. Of course, that also means I'm going to be without easy access to heavy bags, but like...? I don't really have a meaningful way to incorporate them anyway? It may not actually be a loss. Anyway. Today is today. Training and then wish me luck because I'm off to the orthopedist today. I'm not sure if I'm going to be cleared to spar or not. Shoulder feels way better than it did months ago, but there's still some stiffness/discomfort in the range that I know he's gonna test. Dunno how it's gonna play out. Guess we'll see.

Goal 1: 12/13 Goal 2: 12/13 Goal 3: 7/13 Training happened. Meditation and writing did not. It's not The Problem's fault; I misunderstood how much time I needed to get stuff cooked and eaten and so I got to bed at about the same time as normal, which is entirely too late for getting up early. I elected not to sleep or write to get something like "enough" rest. Good news is, it was enough! I got up relatively early, for me; if I can hit an earlier bedtime, this will get better/easier and things will improve. It remains to be seen how well this works, but I'd estimate it's a good sign overall. Anyway, today is a quiet day. Work some overtime, play some games, train, and see what shakes out.

Goal 1: 11/12 Goal 2: 12/12 Goal 3: 7/12 Caseload didn't cooperate. I hate being a responsible adult. Used to be that I would sneak out and get mat time at lunch, but it's just not possible now, not with the things I'm responsible for and how everything balances out. Used to be that I'd just make the time up in OT, but I'm running out of those cases to work and even if I had them, they'd bork my processing time and I'd fall out of compliance. My work from home is at stake. I can't let that go. Unless... well... There is a possibility. If I got up and got to work early, and I mean early, it would be possible for me to get enough done in the morning to make noontime mat time, then come back and finish everything out. I can even jumpstart this. I'm going out to breakfast with my family tomorrow at a good place that doesn't take reservations. Meaning I'mma have to be up early to get there to snag a spot. If I just got that shit going and kept it going, I think... maybe... just maybe... Well. There's really only one way to find out. Still, yesterday wasn't all bad. Managed to jump a couple of sets of swings and get ups from 8 to 12 kg, which is exciting. And I realized that I was jumping my Farmer's Walks a little too fast; I have lots and lots of kettlebells, and I can make slower, more gradual adaptive adjustments instead of just having to jump 8-16 kgs every time. Given the nature of the work - rehab for all the little muscles of my back, which are responding well - a more gradual approach is probably indicated. Meditation went well. Writing did not on account of the aforementioned problem. Eff me, but I love this game. I have to admit, the week hasn't gone very smooth in terms of my personal training, but it actually kind of feels like a vacation, which I've been needing for a while. I feel kind of rested now, which is good. But I know I'm going to get restive if this goes any longer, hence my reason for jumpstarting things and getting up early. Cool.

Wait, did I miscount? Again!? Phaw. Goal 1: 10/11 Goal 2: 11/11 Goal 3: 7/11 Corrections made to account for the missing day. So, yesterday we had a work breakfast to celebrate the arrival of our unit's new secretary. It was fun times. Lots of good food. I ate too much and didn't really feel like training when I got off work, so I didn't. Took the night off the mats too. Did meditate, didn't write. Did play. A lot. TBF, I'm actually kind of glad I missed a day of training. It kind of gives me some opportunity to think about the programming and how I'm doing a gymnastic move on top of the other stuff and how I want to schedule that stuff. It used to be that each day would be broken off into its own discrete thing so that Monday would be handstand work, Tuesday would be Leg work, Thursday would be Core work, etc. Since I've simplified a lot of that and just dropped it down to a few moves, I now get to think about whether I want those to be their own discrete days or if I want to just hit them as I have the opportunity to. There is precedent for this both in my own training journey and in daily programming I've seen before elsewhere, where the training program is 7 different routines and they're just done one after the other with breaks coming in as needed. So, like, Workout #1, #2, #3, missed, #4, missed, #5 for a whole week and you just cycle on through. I think I like that idea, although the next trick is figuring out the most constructive arrangement of movements. It's all rather top heavy at the moment, no pun intended, since it's all pressing movements and handstand work and only one leg movement to balance out. No core movement to break this up. But, handstand work is relatively restful as it's practice-focused rather than being its own kind of strength and conditioning, so sticking that in-between (hollow back press progression->handstands->single leg squat->handstand->straddle planche->rest->hollow back press...) probably works okay for now. Seeing it written out like this, I suspect that in the long run I'll be able to double up on some days and hit core work as well, but by the time core work is indicated, things are going to look very different, and I don't really know what responsible programming will look like then. Oh well. Tomorrow is sufficient for its own troubles. Writing Friend is not down for getting together tonight, so it'll be a mat night tonight if I can get my cases worked. Best be about it.

Yeah, come to think of it: Tank, how do you get your ideas? Is this just stuff you've picked up or are you cooking from recipes? If so, where are you getting these recipes?

"I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend~..."

Right? It's the one that feeds the others. Life is genuinely better the better-rested you are.

Yeah, tell me about it. It's nice to have non-obligatory fun things to look forward to.

Well, in fairness to you, you've got a lot of art stuff going on as is. I've always admired it whenever I've got the chance to stop by. I imagine the creativity muscle gets worked plenty as is; no hurry to get back. Or alternately, do! I'm always glad to see more writers. Yeah that was an absolute delight of a discovery. Didn't see it coming. Um...? Feels pretty good. It's a little stiffer than my left shoulder now, but I don't think that's gonna be permanent. It's also in a range of motion that I barely ever use, so... no biggie? * Goal 1: 9/9 Goal 2: 9/9 Goal 3: 6/9 Y'all, I got a problem. And its name is Disco Elysium. I've been able to exercise and meditate, which, hey, it's 2 out of 3. That's good. But I'm wanting to give every spare moment over to the game right now. It's just that good. If I was going to describe it to my IRL friends, I'd say it was like if Detroit: Become Human was written by Hunter S. Thompson, only way less cinematic and way more focused on narrative. I make this specific comparison because of the branching nature of that narrative and how the game itself responds to player's choices, similar to D:BH, except with a higher degree of craft and with actual skillful writing that makes you feel something. What makes it particularly compelling is the ability to customize the character's skills and personality to reflect the player and I'm positively unnerved by how well it's worked. The character feels like it's me; the mistakes he makes are the mistakes that I know I'd make, and the places where he falls short are places where I've fallen short. Conversely, the things he does well are things I do well too. And what's really fascinating is that there's genuinely no wrong way to do this - even if you dump everything into your physical skills, the game uses those skills to justify a whole bunch of nuance and perspective to a higher degree than you might think was possible. I honestly want more people to play it. One of my friends from the Dramatic Friends Group really got into D:BH and she tried to get as many of us to play as she could because she wanted to see how the story branched out and how we'd achieve different outcomes. I couldn't do anything like that with this game - it's way slower and there's no practical way to get all those folks to sit down and read a novel together in the same room - but that doesn't stop me from wanting it. Anyway, it's eaten into my writing. And it's eating into drill time too, which is no good. So I've got to draw some lines somewhere or else restore this to its proper balance. Eventually. Somehow. Back to work in the meantime.

Might not be a bad idea. Sparring is a somewhat different animal, but if we could set up a bunch of tiny "rings" to keep everyone out of everyone's way, maybe that would work. Not really sure how feedback would work, especially if we had a lot of people in there because they don't necessarily know what they're talking about. And that's not me being prideful, it's just a fact. But, it would still be good to have some safe spaces for this kind of thing. It was okay. I missed class because I had to get a requisite amount of cases worked. So I got paid more for the work, but I didn't want to be doing it. 🤷‍♂️ * Goal 1: 6/6 Goal 2: 6/6 Goal 3: 5/6 So, this week, I went off caffeine starting on the 15th. This is a thing I do every month and a half or so where I give my body a break and let myself readjust to baseline so I can get good response to stimulants again. First day was rocky, but that's normal. Things got better after. Beyond that, there really hasn't been much to report this week. Wednesday I had to skip out of class for to get my laundry done. Thursday I got back to the mats, but nothing particularly exciting about it. Friday was good in that I figured that my computer's actually able to play Disco Elysium after all, so I bought that and started playing. It's really engrossing and a lot of fun. Meditation and writing have both carried off remarkably smoothly this go round. I messed up the writing yesterday due to gaming, but even that's been really productive on the whole, what with figuring out more about the Snowflake Method and applying it better. It's getting to the point where I have to roll up my sleeves and get into the dirt, and I'm loving it. Also had a bit of a breakthrough in training when I realized that doing qigong puts me in a good headspace to do drills, which I've had a hard time complying with this week. So I did that last night too and it turned out well, really. Made some dietary adjustments when I realized that my cut wasn't going right - basically dropped carbs and upped protein while keeping fats in a safe range. Good response via measurements today, but the next week is going to have a lot of social occasions and I just don't know how that's gonna play out. I imagine I'll probably wind up in maintenance phase for a week, which given that I've been trying to cut for 4-5 weeks really isn't bad. Um, one piece of negative news: Ortho pushed back my appointment. I was supposed to see them on the 21st but it got moved back to the 28th. Not cool, man. I'm sure I could start rolling again, but I don't really want to until I've been medically cleared, and the extra week's healing isn't gonna hurt anything. Reading news! Finished off Sanderson's Words of Radiance and now I'm on to Alloy of Law. I swear, I keep telling myself I'm going to step away, but by the end of each book, he's drawn me back in! So that's been fun. So... yeah. I guess a lot of little stuff happened this week but nothing big. Worked a remarkable amount of OT this week, and that usually throws me off of being here and general life rhythm, but that's how it goes sometimes.

As usual, I'd say you're understating how busy you are, but if you're comfortable with the load and want to add more, then there's no reason not to, yeah? So! Let's get after it, then.

Yeah man, how're the marbles stacking up at this point?

Well I thought I saw earlier that golden turmeric milk was an area of study and exploration? Maybe loading that up with a shot or two of spirits would be useful, although I don't really know what would pair well there. My gut reflex is vodka, just because it's got a relatively clean taste, but workable != optimal.

Yeah, echoing the others in hoping for a smooth recovery. Glad to hear you're on the other side of this thing.

Goal 1: 2/2 Goal 2: 2/2 Goal 3: 2/2 Woot! A 2-fer! I'll take it. Training, writing, and meditating all happened. Writing was notable in that I've basically finished my cast of characters. I say that because my antagonist is going to be a, ah, one-book-only kind of antagonist, and he's honestly more of a prop/driving force in the story than he is an actual person who needs a story arc. At least, that's what I think at the moment. If more winds up being necessary, that can be adjusted. But, yeah, the other stuff went well. Training's carrying off really well. My elbow's responding incredibly well to the flexbar work and the goblet squat curls that are used to warm up for S&S. When I dig into the hurt area with my gua sha, it doesn't hurt anywhere near the way it used to either, and while I still experience some discomfort with certain ranges of motion and demands it's much more dull than it used to be and some days I don't feel it at all. It's tempting to jump into heavier work than what I'm doing now, but what healing's taking place needs to consolidate for a bit longer before I do that. And I'm still not done with the program yet. There's no telling if I'd set myself back by trying to jump back into my pulling work and that thought fills me with a sense of dread. As silly as it feels to take up a gym membership for a single piece of equipment, I really need to keep a longer view of this whole thing. Once that's done, I'll have access again to heavy bags and lots of different kinds of training props and tools. I might be able to talk to the striking coach about good bag work and get that worked into rotation again. So there's a lot more good for me if I stay the course than if I do my thing where I jump ship early because I want to. Need to be mindful of that. Qigong is going well. I've added some new stances to my vocabulary there and I'm able to find video references for the moves the author spells out, which is good. I kind of homebrewed it a bit where I do stancework, work through the qigong sequence as far as I know it, and then do GB's daily stretches after, which feels quite easy to comply with. If I can do that for a long enough period of time, I might get ambitious and try to work some of the longer stretch sessions in too, but right now it's best to just keep this simple and consolidate. Once everything's consistent, I can adjust. Speaking of adjustments, one thing that I need to work on is hitting drills back at home. I've fallen off on my work, mostly because I've been focused on S&S. I think it's the shiny thing effect at work or something. There's an answer to this, of course: I could just set up a timer and get up to move every half hour or so. Plenty of time to do that and no harm at all. It's just doing it that's the trick. And TBF, I'm not doing myself any favors at home just sitting around for 8 hours a day. I may not be able to responsibly go for a walk right now, but I don't have to be sedentary either. Today... ah, if I still had hair, I would say it's on fire. I'm doing fine, but I forgot to set my alarm and so I got a full night's sleep and was a couple hours late to the job. The job has some really ornery tasks lined up, too, which I really couldn't afford to sleep through, and there's a chance I miss mat time tonight in the name of working the requisite amount of cases to keep things moving. The good news is, between a full night's sleep, some dedicated meditation, and lots and lots of caffeine, I feel pretty great. So we're gonna see what the day holds and roll with it. Nothing else to do.

I feel this in my soul. A lot of the issues we've had with my job lately have been tied to a bunch of people wanting simplified, magic bullet answers to a bunch of processing statistical problems and how they're tied to our incentives. Thing is, there actually is a simple, magic bullet answer to our problems, but nobody with any authority wants it done. But hey, that's huge that you found the answer. And even if they don't care now, they might just as this new process iterates and improves, and you'll be the one who gets to take credit for it. That's really cool.

I'm still hybrid at this point. They've got us in the office 1-2 days a week, depending on caseload. Right now for me that means 2 days in, 3 days out, but there's a distinct chance at this point that I'm going to earn a 4th day at home. That's gonna be a long time coming, though. Aggressive pursuit of the metrics we use to determine that would actually interfere with the metrics allowing me to keep my hybrid position, so this is going to be got after in a very careful and deliberate way. It's good advice! I do better when I don't touch my phone. * Goal 1: 1/1 Goal 2: 1/1 Goal 3: 1/1 Ah, gotta love a strong start. The weekend was eventful in that there was a striking tournament. I wasn't able to participate, but I did go to support my teammates. We got smashed: one fighter won her division and impressively so as she was the only one who actually had a bracket to go through, but she was the only one of us out of a roster of 5. I'm of three minds as to why this happened: To a person, our fundamentals were bad. We had people who crossed their feet in circling, or would only throw one technique at a time, or couldn't even keep their damn hands up. The old saying that "We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training" totally applies here. If we can't even manage our basics to the same degree as our competition, we can't expect to do well. Concurrently, our school's clinch game is really bad. Our training tends to focus a lot on high volume striking, which is good. But something I saw happen a lot is we had a lot of situations where we would get clinched and our fighter's games collapsed. We just don't do a lot with that particular range, and there was an evident lack of basics like pummeling and posturing and sweeps. Our fighters at least knew to throw knees, which is better than nothing, but proper kneeing is a skill which, again, we don't do in this program. Performance anxiety is a thing. Tourney was held in a small space with two rings going. It's a loud, raucous time, and the audience really gets into it. That kind of thing becomes a weight on a person's psychological structure and it gums up the works. I know what that's like. It's hard to do stuff when people are watching. And keep in mind in reading this stuff that I'm not meaning to speak from a place of judgment. I've definitely fallen prey to all of this at some point or other, and I'm confident that if I'd gone out, I'd have got my teeth kicked in with the rest of 'em. I don't really know how to fix all this. And it wouldn't matter even if I did, because it's not my program, and my teammates aren't my fighters. But as long as I'm on a tear about training anyway, I suspect in some ways we need more time spent on the clinch range of fighting. I also think that there needs to be a dedicated sparring time every class, and not as a once a week kind of thing. I don't know why we don't do that. It's true, our classes are huge, and super effing crowded, but I'm increasingly convinced that this can be controlled for since out of a class size of 30-40 people, not even 10 show up to spar on the one dedicated day we have for this kind of thing. I really do believe that the fitness crowd will thin itself out while still showing up and paying dues, and we can do this. Hell, maybe we could make them useful as a crowd and get some psych training in there too. Maybe. I dunno. Just kind of spitballing on that one. But whatever. Like I said. It's not my program, and unless I'm given the chance to provide input, it really only matters to me. I suppose I'll be on my own in terms of prep for this kind of thing, but I do want to do that, once I'm done trying to get my obesity under control. Anyway, went out dinner with the team afterward and that was that. No OT this weekend. I was kind of glad for that. Sunday I slept in super late. Got after my training with some intention, which was good. Deloaded my push ups some as I've observed that the GB stuff responds well to that kind of thing. Did some writing before going to visit my folks and watch the Superbowl. Came back and chilled and actually sat and meditated for a bit, which is something I've missed doing. Today should be Sci Fi with Friends. We're doing steaks for Palentine's Day, which is dope of our host to do. Beyond that, S&S and stuff and things for training today.

These moments are cool. I had something similar with my car at my parent's place this past Tuesday. Dad calls me the mechanic now. It's validating.

Yeah, that's bull. I'm sorry they're treating you like that. Have you been feeling deprived as a result?

Okay, so, we are already learning that there's a wee problem with the way I'm doing S&S, and that's that I'm not focusing enough. The present protocol calls for 100 swings and 10 Turkish get ups "timeless," ie no hard time limit to get it done. This is for preservation of body and technique and to manage the training load, which is not too heavy and not too light and needs to be hit as often as possible. Fair enough! But the practice that should be taking 30 minutes or so is in fact taking an hour or more, and that's because I'm abusing the protocol. I need to not do that. It's gonna cut my benefits for one thing and it's gonna cause a compliance issue for another. So I need to be more disciplined about this. Good news is, my elbow seems to like the program so far. It's a little trickier with one-armed swings, even at low weight, so I've been experimenting with more two-arm work which feels just fine. Shoulder's managing the load well too. Didn't write or meditate yesterday. Worked overtime instead. Booooo. I played some video games after and felt good for doing so. I started playing Celeste, which is hard and I need a controller to play, which I got and feels really good and also really nostalgic. I also started making Hades runs with it and there are some elements of the game that are so much easier when compared to the mouse-and-keyboard set up. The game automatically aims a bunch of your attacks for you and it kind of feels like cheating? And I'm totally here for it? So yeah. Gonna apply some discipline to my training today and get it done. Some of my striking teammates are out for tournament today so I'm gonna go root for them and hang after this. Should be good times.

Hi! So this past Tuesday, I had something of an epiphany. I went home to help my dad out with some chores about the place. Nothing strenuous in particular, but it reminded me of an old guideline from Simple and Sinister about testing yourself against unusual and unorthodox demands every now and again. This has always worked out for me to being a matter of serving others somehow, because everyone needs help with moving their couch. I found that I missed the program a great deal. I've also been working on losing some body fat per the latest iteration of Berkhan's Leangains protocol, which is basically all protein all the time. He's suspicious of "fuckarounditis," or trying to train everything and ultimately training nothing. My latest measurements indicate that I'm actually gaining fat on this protocol right now, and that's a matter of compliance more than it's anything else. The past month has been remarkably social, and I've not had all that much opportunity to be compliant. I can't do anything about the social component beyond damage control, but I can do something about my training, and I think it's worth it. New plan is to hit S&S on as near to the daily as I can. GB training is going to be broken up some as a result - no more core movements and one upper-body movement per day, plus one leg movement and 1-2 days of handstand work. Reason being that GB's protocols call for integrated mobility, and in their core series they all ultimately work out to having a lumbar flexion component that Pavel warns against. S&S in its current iteration fortunately can make space for this - once I get back to lifting the 32, the recommended days drop off from daily to 3-4 days per week, and I can return to core training then. In the meantime, the work I'm doing will build me toward a Hollow Back Press, and a Straddle Planche, which are non-flexion core strengtheners which would be good to have a base in by the time I get to the point that it matters. Fortunately, everything should work just fine, I think. The past few days have felt pretty good in terms of me getting what I want. Now the trick is to work in qigong and stretching, which I think I can do as long as I'm focused properly on it. So here are the challenge goals: Goal 1: Train Bit of a gimme, but consistent logging is good for me when I make changes like this, so I can confront myself and be honest about what's happening and whether I like it or not. Goal 2: Meditate This fell off in the past week. Dedicate 10 minutes a day to relaxing my mind. This feels like something I can get after now, but I'm reserving the right to adjust if needed. Goal 3: Write This fell off in the past week too. No excuses, and the good news is that when I've done work, it's been good, deep, structural work. I've been figuring out what kind of cast of characters I need and who they are in relation to the structure of the story, which is good to do. Now I need to keep going. I don't really know how to quantify it at this point beyond "just sit down and do the thing," but I think I can do it. And, yeah. I've been writing down what I do on the mats afterward and that alone has been helpful, but I've had a hard time with actually doing the homework of reviewing videos and taking notes. This could be better. Just a matter of making time, really. Can do. Will do? That remains to be seen. But, uh, yeah. T-minus a couple days. Let's go.

It's the right call. I can't think of a way to wear a mask and do martial arts unless it's just absolutely no contact in any meaningful way. I hope you're feeling better since then.