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Everything posted by Kishi

  1. Oh, good, glad to know I'm not the only one who eases into the morning. Way to get it done!
  2. Welp! Plans didn't carry off. Oh, I got on the mats and had a grand old time. I've been trying to practice reframing my losses as learning opportunities, and it's helped, and I've been able to execute on my game plan sometimes, and I'm working on getting out of side control more with some success. And it was all good. But I was late to get pretty much anything else done. I don't really have an excuse. Somehow the night just got away from me. Today's a laundry day, so no mat time tonight. Got some morning training done before going to the office, which wound up doing some employee appreciation stuff. A raise would be better, but a pizza break will have to do.
  3. Yeah, I remember reading about that in your challenge! It sounds like there's a lot going on there with her CHF. I hope your MIL is okay too. Weigh-ins start the night before and go to the day of. And I say cutting, but I think I mean something closer to what you're saying, where I just take the odd day to cut my starches out and just focus on meat and veggies and let the water flush out. That's what I mean by "cutting." * Wow, Okay, almost 1 week. Let me have this. It's been a busy while to be sure. Hit a point where I needed to be "doing" things rather than talking about them. Only I did it without actually meaning to? Mostly I've just been trying to keep up with what needs to be done around here, which means job and training and catching as catch can. It did mean staying away from here, although it wasn't intentional. More emergent. Um, most significant thing in the past week is that I've hit my personal goal of graduating out of the beginner's BJJ class. I got to a point where I was handling everyone I was rolling with - not winning or submitting, necessarily, but handling them - and I did well enough doing so that I felt comfortable leveling up. Got smashed on Friday as a result, which was so expected that my lack of emotional response was itself remarkable. That or I was just dead. Full context, I did striking sparring for an hour and then rolled through an open mat; I thought I was conditioned enough but I eventually just hit a point where I was Done and I couldn't work past it. Otherwise, not much happening here. Went to hang with friends on Sunday rather than parents, and Monday Night Sci Fi was off last night so I got on the mats. Rolled well. Hit pads like a boss. Good times. Tonight is more mat time. I got my other physical training out of the way earlier today so my hope is to train, come home, get dinner, and get down relatively early for a change. I have no clue if it's gonna carry off or not.
  4. GOAL: 16/25 So far, so good. Managed to get my work done and get out to the mats on time. Did better sparring than I'm willing to give myself credit for, if that makes any sense. Like, when I was in the moment, I didn't feel good about my performance, but when I looked back at it, in terms of actual events, I did better than I thought. If I can pull off another such performance in beginner's class, that's what I'll take as my cue to return to the regular classes. I assume I'll return to being smashed at that point, but if I'm going to commit to tournament fighting, then I need to commit to more and different kinds of fighting than I'm likely to find in the beginner's classes. Also, one side effect of building a video library for training is that my retention's doing better, so a lot of the basic stuff that I was worried about not having has stuck around some. Otherwise, thankfully, there's not much to report. I forgot to mention that we learned Sunday that my last living grandparent's in the hospital for congestive heart failure, but we got news yesterday that she's doing a lot better, which is good to hear. Got laundry to do tonight, so can't do all the mat time; if I can't get out of the office early enough, I won't be able to do any. Wasn't able to get here early and I have to spend 6 hours here; it's going to come down to how soon everyone else leaves so I can sneak out, though given the nature of my chores tonight, it might actually be better for me to skip and just focus on getting done what needs to get done.
  5. Right? I've been scaling my calories up and instead of sitting at 180-something and drifting to 200, I've seen these massive swings in weight. Woke up this morning at 170, which, like. What? Tournament is on 10/30. And I don't mind having to eat more; having more energy in the system is a nice change of pace from chronic cutting. And my thought is, if I eat my way to the top of my weight class, then I have more energy to train with, and if I go over at that point, it's easier to cut down and get back under. So in theory, while some cut days would happen, they would be isolated and corrective vs having to be going all the time. Of course, this was when I thought my walking weight was 85-87kg and that I'd have to eat my way up to ~91 or so, but then you have mornings like today where I wake up at 77.6 and it's like, "Damn this thyroid of mine!" * GOAL: 15/24 It's been a pretty emotionally draining few days. Got word Friday that one of my family's friends' grandparents died, and while I wasn't asked to go to the funeral, I would have felt bad not going, so that made my plans for the weekend. Saturday was a long day; BJJ was great, but I had overtime to work, so I did that. Afterward, figured I needed to text with brother over Dad's concern with his casual profanity around Mom; Dad says that Mom's bothered, but Mom hasn't said anything about it, and it's not actually clear that she has a problem so much as she may have made an offhand comment that Dad took and ran with on account of 1) his own lack of emotional health and 2) his recent phase of religiosity, which tends to bring out a lot of his more conservative, authoritarian tendencies. Brother wasn't too pleased about this. It's not the issue of language itself so much as what he sees as an inappropriate reassertion of the parent-child relationship by way of Churchy concerns over the form of speech versus its substance. Also, he felt disrespected by that; he sees it as a problem for the parents as adults to talk to him about as a fellow adult rather than working through me, which I was surprised and disappointed to learn about as I thought Dad would take the lead on this since he'd told me that "We need to do something about your brother's language." So that was fun. We'll see what comes of it. Don't know if they're going to sort this out or not, but I apparently did more than anyone else to solve this supposed problem, so I don't really care how it shakes out from here. Sunday I made it out to Open Mat, hung around for a little while before going to the funeral. Brother was part of the service; the rest of us were observed to have been there but we really didn't accomplish more than that. My best friend from high school called that night and said he's having a kid, which is awesome and definitely got me in a "energy out, energy in" frame of mind for the rest of the evening. It was the kind of weekend I could have used a weekend from. But, my caseload doesn't care about how tired I am, so I was back to work Monday morning. Had too much going on to skip out for mat time, so I just worked all day and went to hang with friends for sci fi night. Lower Decks is getting better, although it's still relatively hit or miss at this point. Speaking as a relative outsider, I'd say it's at its best when it's a hopeful Rick and Morty clone, although I'm able to pick up some references here or there which I'm sure would have tickled me pink if I were more of a fan. Anyway, brings us to today. Plan's to get mat time tonight. I think it'll carry off, although it definitely won't if I don't hustle back and get to work, so.
  6. Echoing that maintenance is cool! I'm not terribly familiar with your training journey, but it sounds like you're at a place where you're able to hold without even a lot of specific work, which sounds to me like you've got enough strength to lead the life you want to lead. What more can we ask for, really? Of course, if the answer is "More Strength!" then, well, I reckon you know what to do. :D
  7. GOAL: 14/20 Wheee, the hurricane is here! Nothing much so far beyond a bit of wind and rain. No blinking lights or power outages or nothing. I'm caught somewhere between relief and disappointment. Job wasn't worse than usual today, but there were meetings and they got in the way enough that I couldn't make striking tonight. The academy says they're doing an open mat tonight, but I dunno if I buy that, man. But even if it were there, 1) it's intimidating to go do jiu jitsu with black belts and white belts who are better than me, and 2) the weather's got me in a mood to curl up with a blanket and a good book. I was not able to overcome these mental obstacles, and TBF, I don't think I mind. Of course, if things had gone different today and I wound up on the mats for striking, I might have felt different. Oh well. It is what it is. Truthfully, I'm feeling the need for a break of some kind anyway; I generally find that it's better to honor that sense when I get it as opposed to pushing through. I just feel better for it. It feels like a reward of some kind. Otherwise, whatever I might have gained feels kind of hollow, you know? I've been watching my weight and drawing my calories back up again to get to the top of the weight class for the tournament. After an indulgent weekend, my weight dropped like a rock and now I'm down at the bottom. Need to eat more. What a predicament!
  8. * GOAL: 13/19 Happy Thursday, everyone! Had to go to the office today on account of working from home Tuesday. The only person there was my secretary, and she doesn't care if I'm there or not. I could have skipped out. Oh well. Friend noped out of writing, so it was off to the mats. I'm not worried about retaining new stuff at this point so much as I'm worried about executing the game plan that I found. Bad news is, it's pretty stuffable, at least until I can figure out how to counter. Good news is, even with that, having a game plan to follow is loads better to play with because it gives me goals to work toward and around, and also, I'm able to execute elements of it even to the point of carrying the whole thing out. Almost. I'd rather not have an almost, but for having only been exposed to the plan within the past week, I think I'm doing pretty good. I was able to either stuff or execute on just about every person I played with in the beginner's class. I'm not sure what it means in terms of advancing from beginner's to regular, since it has to be one or the other right now per academy rules. I've told myself I'd hold off until I could beat everyone I roll with in the beginner's class, because I thought that was a far off goal. Hell, maybe it still is. But it feels closer tonight. Guess I stumbled across a lot of XPs. Anyway, did core training tonight. Neighbor lady is in, and I don't want to be rude, so I subbed in KB swings for skipping rope. She's usually in by the time I'm able to get after training, and if I care about being a good neighbor, it's hard to work skipping rope in. Maybe I should look into some kind of running, like once a week or so. It'd work just fine as far as cardio and calf stamina go, especially if I regulate by staying strict with nasal breathing and walking when my breath runs out. Maybe. Food for thought. I wouldn't mean to do more than a half hour or so once a week, but even that feels like a lot to find.
  9. Sounds like a long week! But this all looks totally doable. Glad to hear that you're making down time a priority.
  10. You're right. I guess I tend to feel guilty and responsible for it, like somehow it's my fault. But it isn't, not really. The only thing I control is my rational choice, and showing up to train is really the only way to develop skill. But I don't control how many XPs I'm going to be getting each time I go, only whether I go or not. Thanks for the reminder. * GOAL: 12/18 Man, I was really off rhythm today. Nothing truly negative happened, but I started the day off by sleeping late and that just kind of compounded over time. I was still relatively productive, though, and open mat didn't happen so I wound up back at the academy today. It was a "win some, learn some" kind of night. Extra training - Q&D and my bridge/mobility work - both happened; I had originally thought about skipping rope, but that feels like something to do on a strength training day rather than a mobility day, and with the extra conditioning already in place, I think it's sensible to scale that back some. But, yeah. It was a good day today.
  11. Nah, that's God grading, although between you and me I think They grade on a curve. * GOAL: 11/17 So! Had my orthodontist appointment, and it went about as I'd expect a consult to go: lots of imaging, and a lot of "Hmm, yes, I see. Well, let's try doing nothing to it for three months and see what happens." I make it sound like it was a bad time. It was actually pretty great. Everyone was super friendly and really seemed to care about me and my issues. The doctor I got to see reminded me of an old friend of mine, and I feel like I got on really well with everyone. They asked my input in terms of how I wanted to go forward with things, and I really felt like I was part of the decision-making process. And you know. Sense of agency. It's nice. They do want to watch it for a few months, because based on the imaging and how it's progressed, there's a chance that it'll move some more, and they're worried about kickstarting a malicious process if they try to brace it too soon. But OTOH, they also cleared me to return to the mats, provided I wear a really strong mouth guard and play carefully. So I got the desired outcome out of this, and I have a good feeling going forward. Got home, did job, got out on the mats, and got to play around and have fun. Learned that the girl who hosts open mats on Sundays as a dispensation to attend more than one BJJ class per day, which irks me some; it feels like everyone I know is getting better except me. But then again, that might not be fair; I was exposed to a game plan for the tournament that's coming up and I was able to hit elements of it in sparring, which is a good feeling. Anyway, I'm up too late, and I gotta go to the office tomorrow. Booooo.
  12. Now now. Ours is a strange language.
  13. GOAL: 10/16 Another day, and... many more, I hope. Aah, not much to blog about today. I managed to get my morning training done, but my casework's complicated today, and I wasn't able to get far enough ahead to feel good about skipping off to do BJJ. So instead, it's just chores and drills today. It's just as well, really; I've found that my solo judo training hasn't been very helpful because judo avoids leg attacks and stands relatively tall, and this makes it very susceptible to BJJ, which is not only willing to attack legs, but is also willing to work wrestling in as well. So today's been a day for revisiting my drills and figuring out what holds and what doesn't. It's work in progress, but it'll keep going. I do hope to get handstand work and skipping rope in today. Handstands won't be a problem, but my skipping rope will depend on whether or not the construction crew returns. They've been absent today, but that's not unusual; I think they're running a few jobs at the same time and everything they do is relatively timing dependent.
  14. I mean, you'd think! But it hasn't been a thing for the past couple weeks - guy keeps being out of town which isn't great. And a lot of what I want to practice is a little hard on the jaw, so. Life is a terrible teacher. But at least it doesn't grade. Thanks. It didn't last, though. And I can keep working. Most of the problem now is nobody else going as fast as I want them to. * GOAL: 9/15 Saturday was busy. Training and then lunch with the folks. Then back home and working all afternoon on OT. But not much else to speak of, not really. Today was open mat where it was just me and the girl who hosts. Then back home to hit some quick training before talking with a friend for a while. Then off to see my folks again since I needed a deeper clean on my car than what I could really do on my own. Not much else to say about the past couple days. Mostly focused on Tuesday; everything else is routines and time.
  15. GOAL: 8/14 So! I was rolling a white belt during no-Gi on Wednesday, and he decided to perform some surprise dentistry! Jerked his knee up and caught me in the chin. I wasn't wearing a mouth guard, so my jaw closed, and it was so hard that one of my top teeth slid behind the bottom one and pushed it out. It hasn't turned out to be any kind of lasting harm. It sucked to have to run off the mats and wash the blood out of my mouth, and I felt really stupid for having rolled without a mouth guard. Sure, it was a freak accident, but those happen nonetheless, and I had a freaking mouth guard with me. And being at home afterward and reflecting on the whole thing, I kind of found myself with some dark thoughts, mostly having to do with why am I doing this? Do I want to keep going? That sort of thing. They didn't last. I trained after getting home, if that gives you any idea of how I was able to carry and deal with those thoughts. I had a rough night's sleep, but got up the next morning and managed to find an urgent care dentist. They took a look and said it's really not bad enough to need an immediate fix; I have a root canal in my far future and I've been set up with an orthodontist this coming Tuesday. Looks like I'm going to be back in braces again. Man. But, yeah, I've been kind of sulky and surly for the past few days, and I had opportunities to come on here and I just... didn't. Still, life doesn't wait, and so I've carried on. I've found that I can drill just fine, so while I can't spar for the moment, I can continue to work. And I can eat food, as long as I'm careful about where I chew and stuff like that. So, it really could be worse. I honestly thought I was going to have to invest in a blender and just drink my meals for a while, but it's turned out not to be so dramatic. Another tournament's come around. I don't know if I can do it or not. Until my tooth is braced and I've got a guard over it, I can't really spar, so it doesn't feel right to declare for the tournament. Especially since I don't know how long it's going to be until I'm braced - this first visit is just a consult, after all, and I don't know if we'll just turn around and get that done or what. But I'm choosing to comport myself as much as I can as if I'm going, so that if things work out faster than I think, then I can hit the ground running and be up to speed. The deck out back got finished and I was able to go skip rope today; it felt good to come back to that.
  16. Geeeez, yeah, that's a lot of movement for a day. Hope you got to sleep well for all that!
  17. Take it easy, brother. Man-colds are no joke, and I swear they hit harder ever since the COVID started. Hope you feel better soon!
  18. GOAL: 7/11 Got last night's chores done. It's satisfying, and TBF the night off was probably good for my body. Hitting dudes and wrassling dudes is harder than you might think. As it was, I hit up solo drills and did squats and suitcase carries. Made time to meditate, which feels good to have done given that I've been slipping. The reason for the slip is that I've been going down the rabbit hole of martial arts videos and building a library of reference materials, and I just find that more compelling than sitting still and observing my thoughts, although I definitely need that too. What a happy problem to solve. Today, looks like the friend who wanted to host an open mat is out of town again, so it's back to the Academy. I'd normally be able to make a striking session for it, but I got to work too late and I'm being tracked on it, so I'll miss striking. I'll be able to go grapple, though, which is nice. I was able to do Q&D this morning; snatching with the bell feels good to do again. I'm not in a hurry to add weight to that; I'm more concerned with making sure my lower back doesn't freak out again, so I'm letting my carries guide me in terms of what I can handle. First to make sure that I can actually carry the weight, and second to make sure that my structure is sound before I add a dynamic component to it. It will be a while before I'm throwing around more weight. This does not bother me. I've got plenty to work on now as it is. Q&D has some very specific programming requirements, though; in order to get the endurance benefits I'm looking for, it has to be done relatively early in the morning and in a fasted state; between that and my own specific needs in striking, I don't think it's going to work long term as a replacement for skipping rope. There's no reason I couldn't do both, though; there's no contraindications at this time, and I enjoy it, and I'm not particularly worn down or beat up. Of course, none of that matters until the work on the house is done, since the construction crew blocked off my door with plastic wrap while they're working. I can get in and out via the "communal entrance," so it's not a problem, but I can't access the deck space for training, so...
  19. FWIW, it's going around. We can't keep people on my job either. Putting down the job at the end of the day is honestly the best thing you can do for yourself. Sounds like the work isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Sorry to hear that Elf is having a hard time. They're still young. A hard-scrabble life is normal, unfortunately; I'm sure it's even harder for them. Good for them that you're there to look after them.
  20. GOAL: 6/10 Plan carried off! Got my casework done and got my handstands done and did Snatch work after. Good stuff. Dinner was good; notable for having not been done in a while. It was good to see everyone again. Wound up watching Star Trek: Lower Decks this time after I pointed out to my friends that they loved to talk it up before saying we should watch something else, and I was skeptical as to whether it was any good or not. Having seen a few episodes of the first season, I'd say it's... fine. It's got a lot of love for its source material, and it's willing to play with a lot of the zanier aspects of its premise, but it's definitely a show by fans for fans, and I'm not really in that culture. But hey! It's early going. Show might get better later. RT says that Season 2 is a lot stronger, but it also looks like its base of critics is a lot smaller and a lot more enthusiastic, so it's hard to say. It deserves its chance, and I have no complaints if we wind up with this for a while. Anyway, that was last night. I'm in the office today, so a lot of the chores I'd have got done during the day will have to be done tonight instead. No mat time. Boo.
  21. GOAL: 5/9 Sunday, I did do movement practice and stretched afterward, which felt great. Went to visit with my folks after and had a good time just hanging with them and being chill. Today's going to plan as much as it can be. Had a close call with going to BJJ and then almost missing a surprise meeting, but I made it back just in the nick of time. Very good. Class went well as well; I got smashed by colored belts but the one white belt I went with, I definitely got the better of. There's satisfaction in that, but truthfully I should strive to remain indifferent since that particular outcome is an external and uncontrollable thing. I'm actually way more excited about the fact that I wrestled well and went for takedowns, and even in the rounds where I got smashed by better folk, I did better and made less and different mistakes than I did last time. That means more to me, which is probably as it should be. Apartment renovations continue. Looks like the deck outside my apartment's been taken down, which I was expecting after hearing a contractor talk about "rotting wood." So, no skipping rope for Kishi for a while. (I could skip indoors, but I have a freestanding shelf that sits close enough that I feel skittish about skipping there). Fortunately, kettlebell sport swings with nasal breathing appear to do me just as well, at least as far as getting the heart moving. Still need to work on that lightness of foot, what in boxing is called a "pendulum step." I think if that's one thing I pick up and learn to do for rounds and rounds, I'll be in good shape. But really, there's a lot I could do to make my striking better, so any one thing I do for a while will help long term. Of course, if I'm going to use kettlebells for my conditioning work again, I might as well just trot back out The Quick and the Dead and do snatches with that for a while as I work to get my push ups back. Q&D has done me well before, and as I've said before, I hate to leave all these bells about just doing nothing. So. Plan is to remain caught up on casework and do handstand work before the day is done. It'll be what it'll be.
  22. Wow. That is some dedication. If I go to bed and realize I forgot to meditate, I'll just take 5 breaths and call it even. Your response is way more impressive. :D
  23. Sounds like a fine few days! People aren't supposed to be grinding all the time. Dunno what your rest as been looking like but maybe you were due for this.
  24. Right? Not only that, but it'll be fit folk too; Prof owns a Crossfit box and he's combining both into a single building. I watched this go down like, "Dude, what are you--? Dude. Dude." * GOAL: 4/8 Not much to say about today. I've got out to go to open mat with my friend. It was just me and her. We worked on takedowns, because it's a weak point in her game too. We're both bad enough at them that we can stuff each other and wind up in guard as opposed to successfully taking each other down, which I think is good in a couple senses: 1) it shows us that we have the power to resist takedowns, and 2) it shows us that we have a lot to learn. Better to know that than have a false sense of confidence. Otherwise, I'll be working on movement and probably will work to get some stretching done today because Monday comes with social obligations and it'd be hard to get done all the stuff I'd want to get done. Doing handstand work and getting to sneak out at lunch for BJJ is still a lot of something and better than nothing, but I'm not going to be able to do deep stretching practice and still get enough work done for it to be a good idea. Which is good to know today as opposed to tomorrow and staring down the numbers and being like "Oh, biscuits."
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