Bookworm_Tess

So I had just purchased and drank a cup of old-fashion made coffee in my school cafeteria since their coffee machine isn't working (or there anymore) and I decided to ask the cafeteria lady what had happened to it. "Oh, she said, the guy from the coffee company came to fix it up and whe we opened it we found it was infested with cockroaches. So they took it away to fumigate it and fill it up again." Right. So I said good-bye (for good probably) and started climbing the stairs, I was up there where she couldn't see me but I could see her, and I saw her walking by holding a sweeper covering a dustpan and calling out for the maintenance man. And I saw when she showed him the rat she had just trapped in there. So I guess I'm buying a thermus and a lunch box and I'll start packing my school meals after all. *Obs.: I live in a poor part of the country, and my school is located downtown, which is one of the poorest parts of the city (old and broken down and dirty). It really looks like third world down there (Brazil is half and half, as you may know). Agregated poverty usually goes along with lack of hygiene. Insects and rats run wild downtown, and everywhere is littered. There's a bit I have to walk through, when I walk from the bus stop to the university (which was installed there during the emporor's time, when the downtown was a genteel area), where I have to leave the sidewalk and walk on the pavement, because the sidewalk is covered with a pile of litter. No shit. So I never eat downtown. There is not one place where I can trust to eat. Except for the cafeteria. I would eat there no problem, because everybody else does. Not anymore. Call me fussy, but I'm not eating there ever again!

Counting calories is not fun and it's something you can choose to do or not for the long haul. But if you count them for at least some weeks you'll get a much better idea of what you're doing food wise.

Friday, Feb. 27, 2015 My weight went down again. Phew! A whole kilo too. My clothes are still all tight so I didn't really notice anything size-wise, but that's what the scale said. But that's not even the biggest win of the week! There were so many I have to make a list Went to the box *every*day (except Mon, when recovering from another stiff neck, and today, because I was tired!)Had huge success in giving up processed foodWoke up everyday between 6:30 and 7:00 to work outAttended all classes of the weekCompleted a couple hours' study in the library four out of five days So apparently this not eating processed food has something to it. I'm a little suspicious at the one kilo down the scale showed because I'm pre-menstrual and fluctuation can be wild during this time. But what I really want to do is I want to talk about the experience!! First of all, it's a lot of work. You have to cook everything you want to eat, and go grocery shopping, and coordinate everything do you don't end up eating the "same" thing three times in one day. I'm trying to sublimate that. And don't get me started on the dishes! Luckly, my school cafeteria has a couple of choices of real food so I didn't have to pack snacks for school. I'm getting there around 4:30, 5:00 in the afternoon, to go to the library, then my classes start at 6:00 and go until 10:00. I need to eat badly during all that time, my brain working like an high performance athlete too. And without coffee, because the cafeteria's coffee machine seemingly died during the vacations! I do think 2,000-2,200 calories a day is a lot, and when it's all food, no (added) sugar, no flour, no hydrogenated fat, man that's a lot of food! I'm sticking to that number though because I'm going to crossfit, working, studying, and going to school everyday, with no car and no maid in my life. So I need that stuff. I'm having two breakfasts a day: one before crossfit with loads of carbs so I can get through the workout, inlcuding bananas, açaí, brown table sugar, other fruits, honey, oatmeal, tapioca tortillas and even grape juice once. Then, when I come back, I have another more complete breakfast, with eggs or another protein source (including chicken once), more tapioca tortillas, sometimes low-lactose milk (I can't have the less processed version) with cocoa and sugar, sometimes fruit juice, and butter or bacon... it's a feast! The food in my fridge never wore out so fast. Then I might have another animal protein source for lunch, and after that no more, following Chinese Medicine advice. I made a couple of excpetions at school because it was between eating meat or processed food, so I had food food. During the afternoon and evening I have three or four other meals, all small because of time and limited access to food. I cheated once, went out for fast food with my boyfriend, but when I say fast food it's not like when an American says it. It was regional food, with meat and flour, some chocolate, and a diet coke. And other times I either made a mistake (as when I ended up with a bunch of muzzarela on my plate at school and it was either that or not eating) or had an emergency piece of candy, ONE piece of candy, as opposed to ten, as I usually would. I did this three times. This is what I had, two filled with ground beef, and one filled with chocolate. Yum. I didn't even crave sugar that bad, and when I did, some dried plums did the trick. No shit. You have also to take under consideration the month long of yoga, acupuncture, and suplementation of magnesia and vitamins B, but I have a feeling the new diet has also had a big role on this: I don't remember the last time I had such a tranquil pre-menstrual time. To the point I didn't even call it PMS, did you notice? It's not cured, I had a massive horrible stiff neck crisis to accompany the stress of ovulating, and I'm still retaining water and whatnot, but I don't even want to kill anyone, and I'm productive. So, win. Let's hope I can keep this up! Check out the caloric intake & body composition control spreadsheet Last week: 2,264 kcal/day Current weight & body fat: 75.60 kg - 35%

Monday, Feb. 23, 2015 This party is OVER! Time to go back on the wagon. Though I hate this, I have to control my eating. Simply because, if I don't, for the brifest time, my weight balloons back to high unacceptable levels. I hate trying to lose weight. I hate it. I don't think it's natural or okay for a person to be monitoring every bite they have to eat. I don't think this is the best goal one can set for oneself. I don't think life should be about losing weight. But I am too fat! And I'm right back where I started. :'( And it's a responsibility to adapt the size of my body to what's best for me, best for lifting, best for supporting on my knees, best for synthesizing whatever stuff it needs to work its inner works well (not overproduce cholesterol or insulin or whatever). People just have to watch their weight. (Even though I do hate it.) I got two new strategies to follow. 1. Keep intake at 2,000 - 2,200 calories a day, depending on energy expenditure for that day, and see what heppens. 2. Stop eating processed food altogether *. I'm giving it up. All my little sins, all my just-a-little-won't-hurt-me's. All candy, all refined flour, all food that needs advertising. Maybe that will do the trick. Nobody's talking about going vegan here! And I know what you're thinking: Monday's a great day to start, right? Well I've been at it since Saturday. So win, win. * Exceptions: a) Gatorade, because it sometimes saves my life during very hard workouts; b ) pasta, because it's my favorite food, once a week, in style; c) social occasions (be like "I eat processed food socially" lol).

I'm so embarassed I need to stop using English right now.

I know. Which is why I'm using three of them and taking an avarage. Anyway it's about evolution --- same weight, less fat--- not about getting it right at any given point. Tha Navy and the YMCA formulas put me t a pretty high fat percentage and have a similar downward curve. The.... (gotta check the name... mason something) puts me at a more flattering percentage and has a timid upward curve, but I've only been using that one since I stopped supressing calories (i've been eating more freely trying to figure out how much O need now that my workout is more demanding). The amount of fat I've supposedly lost is even greater considering the abarage between Navy and YMCA alone, which was what I'd been using from the beggining. It's all in the spreadsheet. Sheet 2 is where you can see the body fat formulas. I got the formulas from Waldo's blog, they seem about right.

I have NO idea what's going on. (For the past month I've taken up Crossfit, which I've been doing 4 x a week, plus 2 x week yoga, plus walking everywhere everyday.) Here's my objective perception. I'm bigger. My clothes are all tight. I gained two kilos (4.4 lbs.) in a month. Here's what the numbers are telling me: I'm getting less fat. Check out my number crushing here. --- Intake & Body comp spreadsheet Make sure you check Sheet 2, where the body fat formulas are. The thing is, my caloric intake is not even that much far off. It had been at around 2,100 kcal a day for the month previous to taking on Crossfit, and now it's ranging at 2,200-2,300 for the past couple of weeks. What the fuck is going on? Not all is lost When I first started out, in October 2014, I weighed 76,75 kg., about 30 kilos of which was fat. Yesterday I weighed at 76.55 kg., about 27 kilos of which is fat. Getting more an' more confused So I've lost 3 kilos of fat, it seems. So what has it been replaced with? Not muscle, since I've been in a caloric deficit all this time (mostly, hehe). Help?

Friday, Feb. 20, 2015 I have NO idea what's going on. Here's my objective perception. I'm bigger. My clothes are all tight. I gained two kilos (4.4 lbs.) in a month. Here's what the numbers are telling me: I'm getting less fat. Check out my number crushing here. --- Intake & Body comp spreadsheet Make sure you check Sheet 2, where the body fat formulas are. The thing is, my caloric intake is not even that much far off. It had been at around 2,100 kcal a day for the month previous to taking on Crossfit, and now it's ranging at 2,200-2,300 for the past couple of weeks. What the fuck is going on? Not all is lost When I first started out, in October 2014, I weighed 76,75 kg., about 30 kilos of which was fat. Yesterday I weighed at 76.55 kg., about 27 kilos of which is fat. Getting more an' more confused So I've lost 3 kilos of fat, it seems. So what has it been replaced with? Not muscle, since I've been in a caloric deficit all this time (mostly, hehe). Imma ask the community. Last week: 2,198 kcal/day Current weight & body fat: 76.55 kg - 35%

I wanted to make a conclusion post here to leave my two cents to anyone who came to this thread because they related to it, i.e., they too are afraid of crossfit. A month in, here's what I have to say. There's no reason to be afraid The actual experience of crossfit is nothing like whatever you read off the internet. Every aspect of it was completely different, at least for me. Yes it is hard, but I feel healthier now, from a muscle-skeletal point of view, than I was before I started. Crossfit is everything I was looking for and I didn't know it I wanted to learn all the cool bodyweight movements, I wanted to learn to do proper push-ups and be the first girl in the family to complete a full pull-up. But I was also mighty interested in powerlifting. But also curious about weightlifting, and I wanted it all, and I didn't know where to start because I didn't want to leave anything out. I didn't want to have to wait for the next cycle in the periodization to experiment with new movements. And I wanted professional, quality coaching. And I wanted someone to help me out with planning the workouts because I was overwhelmed. ...then crossfit entered my life and it was like a revelation moment. Best workout out there for non-conformist brain types (ADDers of the world unite!) Short attention spam? Need for constantly new, high stimulus? Hiperactivity? Appetite for novelty? Look no further: crossfit is just the thing for our kind (Except for the fact that you may be asked to count 150 jump ropes or 200 jump pull-ups and than be told you'll have to start over if you lost count. I was terrified by that, it wasn't fun.) Yes, it's hard It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Beach rugby, with all the sprinting on the soft sand, seems like a walk on the... uhm... beach, compared. It hurts. Sometimes you just want it to be over. Sometimes, you can't remember why you're doing that to yourself. But then when the workout is complete, you are that much tougher mentally. I found incredible confidence by finishing a workout without complaining (that has been my goal during these first few weeks: not time or load PRs, but finishing the workout without whining lol). It helps to take a couple of minutes to focus before the workout starts, and prepare yourself mentally for the incredibly tough task you're about to do. If you know it will suck, it sucks less. It's just an amazing opportunity to learn about yourself. Look at me. I am the chick who completed 200 jump pull ups and then benched a third of my weight the next day, on my first bench press attempt in over a year! I rock!

I think meta & lit & narrative is a great way to look at things Camões can be kinda boring as he's really old stuff, but Machado is usually very popular among people who like 19th century lit. (We're very numerous ) Good luck and keep up the good work!

Friday, Feb. 13, 2015 I decided to weigh myself today, couldn't stand the suspense. As expected, I gained weight, a whole kilo. I want to call your attention to the fact that, since October, I had lost only two kilos, and now I have one back. I'm laughing... so I don't cry... The numbers indicate I gained that kilo in fat. I'm telling myself, out loud, it was expected, I increased my intake fast, and a lot. I also read that the initial gains of strength training weigh on the scale and on the metric tape but that it'll go away soon. (This one I don't quite believe, or understand, but I'm telling myself that anyway.) That weight fluctuates. That my size is not that important. I'm repeating myself all the right reinforcements so I don't freak out. It's working, I'm not freaking out. Deep breath and... keep going, what else can I do? I still have to consider crossfit and the new increased intake it requires, not only for the energy expenditure per se, but also the nutrients I need to recover well so that my old injuries don't go wild again. I'm not purposedly depressing my intake then, not right now, I'll just keep watching for a while. Let's see what I can figure out. Last week: 2,266 kcal/day Previous week: 2,587 kcal/day Current weight & body fat: 75.95 kg - 36%

Non-linear, flashbacks episodes. That's Machado de Assis. You're a Brazilian lit teacher, aint you?

Anyone who starts in media res has my attention. Camões fan, you?

My box held a costume workout today, to celebrate the carnival. I went as world champion and multi recordist powerlifter Marilía Coutinho lol. Here are some pics we took there. My costume The bearded wonderwoman and me The box Happy deadlifting

Hey, Dragon!! Wassup? I never been diagnosed with anything worse than lactose intolerance, but I know my issues go a little bit beyond that. I'll teel you what really helped me. I suffer from dark, deep, horrible PMS. After getting no help from mainstream medicine, I turned to Traditional Chinese Medicine. Since I'm a nerd and the bookworm sort of one, I decided to read on TCM before looking for an acupuncturist, so I knew what I was doing (or what was being done to me). Lots of the counsel of TCM is about diet. I liked it and decided to give it a try, for improving PMS and other issues, and it FIXED my digestive problems. I didn't even expect it! The idea of TCM is that you have a certain amount of energy going around your body which has given you life and keeps you alive. This energy is renewed by eating. Nothing new so far. A great deal of this energy is used up in the very process of digesting the food you put in and spreading the food energy around your body. So, according to TCM, if you choose food that is easier to digest than the ones are take more effort, you body can use that energy to heal stuff that's ill, off balance, or less than optimal. Instead of spending a lot of energy processig the food in your digestive tract. Ok, so I wanted to save up that chi to have my system work on my Liver and Kidneys meridians to help with the PMS. That was the goal. But it unburdened my digestive tract to the point that there was no more gas and bloating and diarrhea. I could even have more dairy than usually on the occasions I did have some. (I shouldn't, but what's the point of life without cheese pizza and petit gateaus?) You should totally try it. You're gonna love the results and the process. I read a number of books, I don't even remember where I read what, but I do know this one was my favorite. Inspite of being a little too heavy on the grain-love and meat-fear. Just keep in mind one opinion is not the whole philosophy and you should be good. http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Healthy-Eating-Bob-Flaws-ebook/dp/B004R1Q0CU/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=

Thursday, Feb. 12, 2015 The drugstore re-opened. I saw it yesterday when I was racing to yoga practice. I considered going there this morning to weigh myself, but it was raining. I was tired. I craved chocolate milk and coffee on my couch. This is a free morning, there's no Crossfit, my student cancelled our class, I have nothing urgent to do to squeeze in, and I'm tired as fuck. So I didn't go. I took all my excuses, they sounded good, and I turned them in in exchange for a worry-free morning. It's been heaven. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm enjoying this period of not supressing calories and not weighing. I am tracking calories because I didn't give up on the losing weight plan, and I want to know how much I'm supposed to eat now, with the new heavy exercise regimen, with crossfit. I want to know what impact caloric intake has on my performance, how much animal protein I can eat before I start having digestive symptoms (chinese traditional medicine counsel in diet it great for health issues, specially digestive, but it's poor poor poor in protein and I worry my recovery will be half-ass if I don't eat enough of it). Besides, a few weeks of giving a rest to dieting when you're plateau-ing seems like a good idea. Eating at maintanance or a little over it. I've seen more than one bodybuilder defend this idea. And yelding control over diet, it must be good psycologically. I love my body. I always have. I know I'm hot and not just a little. I'm strong. My boobs are awesome (even better when fat) and my ass is killer. Having a chance to enjoy that without worrying that I'm so-many-kilos overweight for a while is good! Carnival is starting tonight, with a costume workout at my box. After that it'll be a series of days of partying which, for the sober, means mostly eating. When carnival is over and classes start at the university, I'll go back to weighing and controlling calories. But not today Here, a samba for you to get into the mood. That's my favorite song about carnival. It's subtitled in English https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TueDBUv3h4

Monday, Feb. 9, 2015 Update: the drugstore where I usually (used to?) weigh myself is still closed. The other day I walked past it in the evening and saw the light was on inside, so maybe they'll reopen soon. Maybe I should go into the robbery drugstore and see if they have a scale there. Or maybe I shouldn't. Here, they sell cellphones and tablets in drugstores (I know, weird) and it attracts robbers. Last week somebody was shot in one of these drugstores... by the store secutiry. The robbers fled in the confusion. The TV didn't say whether the customer lived or died. So may be I'll go some more days without weighing. I'm not eating as much now that the PMS is behind me, but then today I went to the gym and couldn't peform. I gotta eat more before workourts. A lot more. I get dizzy and see black and there's just no gas to do the hundred rope jumps followed by the 20 push-ups, 20 sit-ups and 20 squats, three or four rounds of it, and then the WOD. It's too much to face on an apple and half a papaya. The past week, from Sunday, Feb 1st to Saturday, Feb 7th, I ate an average of 2,502 calories and 85 grams of protein a day. That's handsome, happy eating. I wish I knew my weight and whether I gained or lost weight this week. I don't feel bigger, for what it's worth. But I always feel lighter and smaller on the first week of the cycle. I would like to take a moment here to repeat my goals, so I don't lose sight of them. So many new things present and so much takes my fancy, it's hard to remember what I had set for. Start my research, apply for the undergrad grant, and begin my academic carreer, finally! (Ten years late.)Find the money to go see the ADHD expert.Save to pay for my driver's license and get it done already. (Fourteen years late. It's something complicated and ridiculously expensive here.)Do better on my subjects. I'm usually a 8,5 student, last semester I averaged 7.Lose weight. (10% or my original weight, or 8 kilos less then last October. Two gone, six to go.)Exercise for:1) My mental health. The results for far have been amazing. Really beyond everything I had expected. It works. 2) Sheding weight. 3) Getting strong to the point of fixing, avoiding or diminishing, I dunno, back and knee pain. (Chondromalatia? Tendonitis? Herniated disk? All of that? The answer seems to always be: strengthening, strengthening, strengthening.) Okay. So that's what I should be doing instead of planning a trip to India lol. For real, that.

So cool, man! I'm very happy for you!