Countess D'If

I need to do Midget Mayhem's this weekend too. NGL I'm tempted to just throw it away and buy a new one. . .

I have so many questions. . .

Oh my shit i'm dying. that is fucking hysterical!!

Pray for that poor fucking cheesecake 😬 😲

ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT. No. NO NOOOO. No. Of all the dumb, disgusting shit your dad had pulled, this is it. This broke me. I'm done. WHAT THE FUCK Please write back immediately and tell me that you've done something to prevent/stop this. I need to know you're safe. Mark yourself safe on FB RIGHT FUCKING NOW or I am calling the cops. I'm calling CPS. I'm calling the Gendarmerie. I'm calling the men in black. I'm calling my mom. This is unacceptable

WEDNESDAY Up on time Midget Mayhem up on time Brush teeth Skin care Midget Mayhem Anti Crazy Pills Breakfast Midget Mayhem to school on time To work on time Morning anti-crazy pills Wear make up Did NOT go to lunch with colleagues, good for me! Parent teacher conference with Midget Mayhem's history teacher LITERALLY FELL ASLEEP AT 4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON Woke up at 7 and ate some pizza. What the hell!? Track food: BMR 2053 Intake Goals: 1800 Total Intake: 1524 Total Outgo, according to iPhone: 2021 WEDNESDAY Calories : 497 deficit

TUESDAY Up on time Midget Mayhem up on time brush teeth skin care Midget Mayhem Anti Crazy Pills Breakfast Midget Mayhem to school on time to work on time Morning anti-crazy pills wear make up Lunch - Office Potluck Leave at 5 Midget Mayhem homework for like 73 hours. I HATE math. I have a degree in music. the last time I took a math class, I was 16 (I turn 40 on the 26th) and it was math 120. Why am I expected to do this shit? WTF? We ended up working on English just to make myself feel less dumb track food Sort of, I have no idea what the cals were at the potluck. BMR 2053 Intake Goals: 1800 Total Intake: 4099 (wild speculation based on thanksgiving pot luck) Total Outgo, according to iPhone????: 1986 TUESDAY Calories : - 2119

Instead of crossing things off, I'm just going to list things MONDAY Up on time Midget Mayhem up on time AM shower brush teeth skin care Midget Mayhem Anti Crazy Pills Breakfast Midget Mayhem to school on time to work on time Morning anti-crazy pills wear make up Lunch Afternoon anti crazy pills Leave at 5 brush teeth track food BMR 2053 Intake Goals: 1800 Total Intake: 2557 Total Outgo, according to iPhone????: 1996 MONDAY Calories : - 591 I have 100% lost my fitbit. It's gone forever. Now I have to decide if I want a new fitbit or if I save up for an apple watch? I'm not sure how tracking without a fitbit or something is going to go in the meantime

WEDNESDAY Midget Mayhem is better, but stayed home because of the whole trick or treating for three hours last night I slept in, but I did brush my teeth before I left I also got Starbys on the way in though. . . Put on make up, did hair, took pills Called cleaning service to fix what card the bill goes to and to add tip in (WTF, I haven't been tipping for like two, may be three weeks? Ew.) Initiated full blow warfare with Co-Worker re: he's starting Christmas now, in direct violation of the orders of the Society for the Preservation of Thanksgiving and Countess D'If's Birthday - Enforcement Division

Halloween/Tuesday went well, I think? Midget Mayhem was sick, so I let her sleep Brushed teeth Did my make up and hair Court, said goodbye to another judge I like, did NOT cry Work Lunch with litigation friends more work Halloween. I was voluntold to make deviled eggs. I fucking love deviled eggs But because they roused me out of work, I didn't go home, so I couldn't change shoes Midget Mayhem make up, pin curls, and wig Trick Or Treated in Midget Mayhem's flip flops for THREE HOURS Very very very bad shoes for walking around in for three hours Then they watched Haunting of Hill House and fuck that shit, I peaced the fuck out of there and went home Brushed tooths, showered, took pills and went to bed

Fair. Fair. I was saying goodbye to her. I hate goodbyes, and I’m a crier on top of all of that, so yeah

nope. Nope nope nope, f that s Have you tried an IUD, I can’t remember? Lolz, absolutely you are

Happy Monday! So far I have Gotten up on time Gotten midget mayhem up on time Showered and did my hairs (this new hair cut is KILLING it, BTW) Brushed my tooths Got Midget Mayhem to school on time Got me to work on time Did my make up Almost cried in front of a federal judge during a personal conversation Yay! Midget mayhem got sick this afternoon, so I took her to the doctors office. No strep no flu, thank goodness. So when we got home and we did her wig for Halloween tomorrow. That was fun. Actually that was a lie, It was not fun, I hate doing wigs. So, after I cried to the judge I went to a potluck (it was delicious) got midget mayhem from school, took midget mayhem to her pediatrician got midget mayhem some McDonald’s Came home brushed a wig screamed at a wig Put a wig in curlers Watched goosebumps on Disney+. We are really enjoying this series I have to say Brush my teeth Took off my make up took my vitamins Gave midget mayhem some cold meds did my hair and now I’m in bed