SammyShark

Hey, so, without knowing much about you, I'm going to throw out a couple of ideas. First, you might not be eating enough. At your height and weight (I don't know your age, so guessing) your BMR is probably between 1350 and 1390. That's the amount of calories you need to eat to keep your body alive. When you determine how many calories your body needs for activity, you multiply this number by a factor of 1.2-1.9, depending on your activity level to get your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure). My guess is that yours is around 2100, maybe more. The deficit at which you're eating might just be too much for your body. Your body might think you are starving, and so it's holding on to everything possible in order to maintain your current weight. So, maybe, try upping your cals a bit. And also, check out this website for more on BMRs and TDEEs: http://keto-calculator.ankerl.com/ Second, what kinds of clean foods are you eating? Are you getting too many carbs? I am a big advocate of eating less carbs and more fat to turn your body from sugar-burning to fat-burning. You have to make sure to keep your carbs below a certain level every day though. If it's something you think might be beneficial, then I would start writing down everything you eat and really scrutinizing it. Even if you don't want to lower your carbs, just looking at how many "slips" you have in a day can be helpful to determine if you are somehow eating more calories than you think. Meal planning always helps me with this, because I know exactly what I'm going to be eating and there's less room for "just a bite won't hurt." Third, I don't know as much about this, but it may be worth looking into - you may not need to be limiting your salt. I can't remember where I read about this, MDA maybe? But a lot of times we don't need to be as worried about our salt intake when we eat so few processed foods, and we do need salt, especially if you're drinking a lot and sweating a lot. So maybe research that a bit. Okay, and a few other things that just from one female to another: You are NOT ginormous. You are beautiful (I see you!) and you are strong. You are doing great things for your health and your body and your mind. Don't let the scale tell you otherwise. You are on the right path, you just need some tweaking. Sometimes it takes more time than we want it to, sometimes it takes more time for us than for someone else, but that doesn't mean we can't achieve our goals. You can do this. You are already rockin' it, so just keep at it and try small changes.

1. I did see the hair and it was beautimous. And mine was... not. I felt a little shabby! Lol. 2. Should I stop you from eating non-paleo noms? I can't tell if I'm a good influence or a bad one! 3. Yay for smoke free! I am 3 days smoke free and I attribute a lot of that to you for challenging me and motivating me, so THANK YOU for being AWESOME!

Thanks! I hope I figure out soon what I want to do. I just keep changing my mind! It makes it difficult to plan...

Okay, just to review, the trainer I met with said I should lose about 40lbs of fat and maybe put on about 5lbs of muscle. He said that'd put me around 19% (which is pretty low for a girl, especially since I'm not an athlete anymore, and even when I was, I was not that lean). But anyway, I just did the math.... If I lost 40 pounds of fat, And also put on 5 pounds of muscle, My body fat percentage would have to be 14%. That's the equivalent of a dude being at 6%. No. Just no.

Yeah - I have looked at doing some sprint triathlons in the past. My biggest barrier right now is that I do not have access to a pool to train for the swimming. Honestly, I could probably do a 750m swim without training, but it wouldn't be very pretty. And I'm snobby about my swimming, so I'd have to get back in and train for a while before wanting to swim competitively. This is on my list of things to accomplish in the next 6 months to a year - find a pool to train in that is reasonably priced (I have a few options to consider), and possibly join a masters team. Anyway, the tri has always been in the corner of my mind as something I'd like to do, along with a marathon, and maybe an ultra, but... one thing at a time!

Week 5 Update Points earned this week: 24 Total points thus far: 105 Percentage: I have no idea right now because I changed things... whoops. Tell you next week! Pounds lost this week: 1.5 Total pounds lost this challenge: 6.5 (in 5 weeks, that's not too bad) Total pounds lost overall: 16lbs. Goal 1: Don't binge. Didn't binge at all this week. Woot! Goal 2: Workout I worked out 8 times this week. Most of that is spin classes and yoga classes. My yoga is my strength training for right now. I am weak as shit. But good job, me! Goal 3: Stretch Kinda sucked at this this week. Not sure why exactly, but didn't manage to stretch twice. Gotta get better about that. Life Quest: Quit smoking (new!) Meh.... I had 4 good days and 3 bad days. 2 of those good days, I didn't smoke at all. I have no cigarettes left and no intention to buy anymore. So hopefully this will continue. Working out really motivates me to not smoke. It makes it feel like I am working towards something and I shouldn't sabotage that by smoking. Thoughts - My sister and I are going to do a couch 2 5k program together, running a 5k in April, and then building up to a 10k in June. We've done half-marathons before, so I don't think this should be too bad. Making plans for all that now. Upcoming week - I think I ate a bit too much coconut butter and almond butter these last couple of weeks. I am really going to focus on not eating unnecessary carbs this week, but also making sure to get enough calories (see, Wufkar!). In that pursuit, I actually did some meal planning and prep on Sunday (yesterday). I made a super delicious eggy casserole thingy with an entire pound of bacon, some butter, onion, mushrooms, collard greens (YUM) and a little cheese. It's an easy thing for me to take for lunch or have for a quick dinner at night. So, I think my mini self-imposed goal for this week is to lay off the freaking coconut and almond butters. They are decent quick little snacks when I'm low on calories, but there are better sources of calories. So... yeah. That's all for now. Good week! Let's finish up STRONG!!!!!

Mmmmm meat. This is reminding me that I need to go to the store tonight!

THANK YOU! It has been really crazy to make this shift, but I know I'm finally REALLY making it because yesterday I allowed myself to eat as much as I wanted of my healthy foods - paleo, plus some dairy - and I thought for sure I'd be eating all day long, munching on this and that, going overboard, eating til I was uncomfortable, but I didn't. I didn't feel that compulsion. I just felt weird, and relieved, because it wasn't there! Maybe I am finally getting past my carb addiction!

SO - I know you and I already talked about this, but a recap for any other poor souls out there who, for unknown reasons, are staying updated on my comings and goings: The training consultation was pretty much what Wufkar said it would be. Except it was not with Ben, but rather Aaron, an intern. I think Aaron is probably less adept at selling the package, which is probably good for me. But I also got almost nothing useful from him, except that I now know what a Russian dead lift is. Have done them before, just didn't know that was what they're called. Anyway, it was kind of a bust. Mostly I was frustrated that I agreed to do this and in turn had to skip spinning and yoga. I think it was also a bit overwhelming to be weighed on a non-weigh-in day, at the end of the day, in full clothes. And also to be told I should lose about 40lbs and 14% body fat (to get down to 19%). So, after that little meeting, during which I didn't really workout at all, I went home and fumed and laid in bed and a few weeks ago I definitely would have binged. But I didn't, so that's good! The hard part for both me and the trainer was that I don't really know what my goals are at this point. I know some very broad general goals - I want to lose weight, I want to get stronger, I want to feel good naked, and be able to do things without getting tired. But Beyond that, I'm not sure. And there are so many different paths to take to reach those general goals. Training for a triathlon may come along later, but I'm not really there yet. So for now I'm going to spin and do yoga and do body weight workouts and maybe some treadmill and elliptical sometimes. And if I stagnate or need to reevaluate, I can change things up in the future.

A little later for a mid-week check in, but just wanted to say things are going really well this week. I've gone 11 days without bingeing and I feel really good. I think I may actually be losing some fat around my belly, which is awesome. I've been doing lots of workouts, which is fun. I really enjoy belonging to a gym and having group classes to go to. I *think* I have my free consultation with a trainer at the gym tonight. I'm not sure what to expect. I know we're supposed to talk about what my goals are and stuff, but honestly, I'm not sure what my goals are. I know I want to lose weight, and I know I want to increase my stamina for things like yoga, body weight exercises, spin, and possibly running (haven't been doing that at all lately though), but I'm not sure what route I want to take to achieve those goals. I'd like to learn to lift heavy, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet (in terms of strength), and sometimes I think I'd like to work on my 5K time and do more races, sometimes I think I'd like to work on my cycling and do some road races there, too, and then yesterday I decided that I want to start swimming again and compete in the Cornhusker State Games this summer. I can't do that at my current gym though. So.... we'll see. I mean I'm not even sure that my appointment is tonight. I thought that was when I scheduled it for, but I haven't gotten any reminders, and they said I would... I don't know. I will call and confirm. Okay, yes, 5pm with Ben. So I don't know what that will mean in terms of the type of workout(s) I'm going to get in today, except that I can't do spioga tonight. Le sad. Will update later with the happenings!

Coconut butter. I'm probably eating too much of it these days, need to lay off for a bit, but I freaking love this stuff. Most people seem to prefer the Artisana brand, but personally, I prefer Nutiva's Coconut Manna. It is a little grainier, but I kind of like the extra texture, plus it has fewer carbs, especially from sugar, and more fat, which is how I like it. Go forth and eat coconut butter.

But if future you knew that present you had ignored future you, why would future you bother coming back? Wouldn't she just say - you know what to do...?

Nice work on the squats, lady. You're a freakin' beast!!!!

In reality all I would do is awkwardly avoid eye contact with the dude if I ever meet him. Oh well!

Sounds like he's fair game...

Um, yikes on the furnace! Let me know if you don't get it fixed tonight. You could probably crash in my mom's spare room. ...is Alex single? He's kinda cute...

I freaking HATE snow! I wish it would hurry up and warm up and melt this crap. Grumblegrumblegrumble. Are you going to be at the gym at all Fri, Sat or Sun? I will probably be there Friday after work and Saturday morning and ... sometime on Sunday.

I hope your trip was AWESOME! Sometimes it's okay to ditch the diet for a little while and just enjoy life! Good luck on your weigh in! My last week went pretty well. I am totally bombing my life quest (learn guitar) so I switched it over to quit smoking. Probably a more important goal anyway. It's going... okay. Definitely super hard. But I've been working out lots, eating healthy, and I feel good, so I'm calling it a win!

Thanks I guess I'm still wondering how much of it is depression and how much of it is just a shift in my likes. Maybe I just prefer being at home and reading instead of going out? I don't know. It's really hard to tell. Brains are kinda like bodies - there are so many factors that contribute to whatever is going on, it's hard to say - okay, it's this. Lots to think about!

Yeah, I think I'm getting enough calories. I try to eat about 1300 when I don't workout, and then if I workout I eat more. I don't like to net less than 1300 though, because it's just not sustainable for me. And some days I eat more - like on Saturday, when we had steak together, I also went out for dinner that night and ate more. I could be going through a bit of carb flu since I'm about 7 days out from eating major carbs. But that doesn't explain why I've been all reclusive for the last... however long. But we can talk about it more in depth next time we hang out!

thank you! I am tired, which in the past has definitely been a symptom of my own personal manifestations of depression. BUT like you said, I'm also working out a LOT more than I have any time in the recent past, and I'm eating at deficit (mostly ), so who knows. I sleep at least 7 hrs per night, but usually more like 7.5-8, and sometimes 9. Sometimes I worry I'm actually sleeping too much. Now that I'm cutting it back to more like 7.5 (but 9 on weekends), I think it's a little more reasonable. But who knows. Bodies are so complicated.

Week 4 Update! Points this week: 31 Points so far: 80 Grade: 83% - low B (gotta bring this up!) Week 4 was pretty good. I did not binge all week. WIN! I stretched every day. MORE WINS! And I worked out 9 times! ALL THE WINS. I did not practice guitar though. Like, at all. I'm pretty sure. I just don't like it. I'm not enjoying it. It hurts my fingers and I have to keep my nails cut short and I'm just not into it. So I decided to change my life quest mid-challenge. That's probably a little unorthodox, but if I'm not getting anything out of it, and I change it to something that I am gaining from, then, I think that's legit. So my new life quest is to quit smoking. Which I should have done at least a year ago before my dad died from lung cancer, but ... I didn't. I am in the process of cutting back at the moment. I am not going totally cold turkey, not yet anyway. So ... yeah. Day one was good. Only had 2. Day 2 is proving somewhat harder becuase I will spend a lot more time in my car today, and that is when I am most likely to smoke. So, we'll see how it goes. No matter how I dice it, I'm not going to do very well on my life quest in this challenge, because I did so poorly with the guitaring early on. But I would rather start enforcing a good habit than pull teeth to get myself to do something I'm not enjoying and am planning to quit as soon as the challenge is over. Plus, I'm doing SO well in my other goals. Like GREAT. I wish I was losing a bit more weight. I am only down 5lbs since the start of the challenge. After week two I was down 7lbs, but then week three was bad and I was back up, and only down about 1lb. So... progress. Two steps forward, one step back. Slow and stead. I still worry that I will always be fat and ugly and gross, though. Also, I think I'm depressed. I never want to spend time with people anymore. Whenever my friends wants to get together to go out, I really don't want to. I just want to stay at home and read. I am surprised I've been able to keep myself motivated to go to the gym, because I thought that maybe I just didn't want to leave the house. But clearly, I'm okay with leaving the house if I'm excited to go to the gym and taking classes and actively making myself stay there for long periods of time. Then again, there's not that much social interaction at the gym. I don't know what's wrong with me. I talked about it with one of my friends last night. I said, "I think there's something wrong with me" and she said, "there's nothing wrong with you but you haven't been yourself." I don't know what's going on. I haven't even been going into chat as much lately. I'm sitting here trying to pinpoint when these changes started. Was it when I started my job in August? Was it over the summer while I studied for the bar? Was it after my dad died in May? Or after I graduated? Or was it before I graduated - sometime during that last year of law school? And was it because it was my last year of school, or because that was also when my dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer? Or has it been longer than that, since two years ago when shit went down and things haven't really been the same since? Damn it. I don't want to go back to therapy. I have shitty insurance right now and I can't afford that shit. Fuck fuck fuck. Well this divulged from a rather peppy update to a pretty depressing rant. Sorry.

I know, I know, I just didn't realize I was still hungry until I got home... and laid in bed... so I ate stake in bed. It was glorious!

IT WAS SO GOOD! I ate my leftovers as soon as I got home. Lol.

So listen. I am hating the guitar lessons. Like hate. Dread. Avoid at all costs. It's just not my thing. And so, I am making an executive decision and switching up my life goal for the last couple of weeks (starting today). It's a big one. Are you ready for it? QUIT SMOKING. Phew. Okay. Wufkar has challenged me to do this by Mar 1. I'm going to step it down slowly sort of (1-2/day) over the next few days and then just be done. Gum will be my friend. If anyone disapproves, please tell me. Update tomorrow (or late tonight?) on all the happenings of Week 4, which has actually gone quite well!