Machete

Every post has a reply today. I think it's great that you are making this a thing. I do hope it snowballs and we as a community become more involved with the new members. Except the spammers. Fuck those guys.

Keep fighting the good fight.

- Machete

P.S. Apparently you can't receive messages. Strange.

"At the end of the day my life is so soft, that I have to make up fake work by lifting weights so that I can hang out with the same decent respect that my ancestors had physically"

Had to have the big salad.

It appears someone has passed his CSCS exam.

Kicked out of the gym. New Year sucks.

Almost pulled 405 with straps today on a whim. Failed to lock out. Back probably rounded. Irresponsible.

The more often you fall down sewers, the more skilled you become at fighting Ninja Turtles.

They say you burn as many calories during sex as you would running one mile. I think that is ridiculous. Who the hell runs a mile in 30 seconds?

Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man. June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain.

I believe that I am in the top 5% of the most awkward, uncoordinated people in the world. I'm a functional adult, and I still regularly drown whenever I eat soup.

Brought up the issue of sprinting zombies in a discussion about Motor Unit Recruitment in my Advanced Strength & Conditioning course. Let's see how it goes.

My hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. No wonder women leave me.

The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It's getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That's how we know we're alive: we're wrong. (Philip Roth)

Coffee, PB&J, instant Ramen, and NatGeo food dosumentaries.

I interacted with 64 people. I'm such a socialite.

Lifeguard tryouts. A man has concluded that he cannot swim.

A man is unable to stop obsessing about licking the toilet seat.

A damn McGriddle with hash browns is calling my name.

38 hours awake and counting. Danger: Asian guy operating a Hummer while pretty much intoxicated.

Fish Oil gummies are fantastic.

Getting fired from a job you hate because you suck at it.

Out to town, no shower for three days, axe body spray, sleeveless hoodie, mid-thigh shorts, hiking boots with no socks, and a look of absolute existential despair. Watch out, ladies.

Crossfit is the ADHD of gymming.

Terrifying day at the gym. Sitting in the sauna alone to warm up a bit when an attractive female comes in and sits too close to me (i.e. anywhere within the same room). I try to appear calm, even though my heart rate monitor is saying otherwise. After a few minutes of silence she asks me a question. I can't remember what I said, but I remember running out of there. Long story short, I ran 10 miles, attempted a backflip, and pooped my pants.

I melt in your mouth, not on your hand.