apike

I just decided I want to try to learn to handstand. I'm planning on following http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/10/24/how-to-handstand-better-than-luke-skywalker/but I've already run into a bit of a problem. How do I keep my feet on the wall? My first attempt at starting I just put my feet on the bed (which is probably a bit too high for me to start with, but it worked well enough). But then I tried to actually do the wall thing, and I couldn't get my feet to stay in place at the height I've chosen (or any height at all). I suspect once I get high enough to really transfer a lot of the work to my hands it won't be much of an issue, but for starting out, how do I balance so that the wall is actually helping me?

Gah. I finally caught that flu (or another one) going around and was out of commission all of last week. Missed work, not to mention all the running and whatnot. Finally started running again with a shorter, unrestricted run on Sunday, which was almost too much to handle due to some very hilly terrain. Did my first training run since the 22nd today and it went pretty well though. Hard to believe this challenge is almost over. The running part has been going well, overall. And I still have plenty of time to improve before the 5k at the end of April. Wish I felt that optimistic about any other area of my life. Feels like I have no control over anything. I'm taking steps in all sorts of important changes, but I just... ick. It's camp nano, so I'm starting that. I'm going with very very very low, simple goals for that, just to try to get back into the habit of writing.

Thank you. I've never been very good at relaxing or self soothing. Those are very hard skills to learn, especially under stress. I have no roadmap for those. My living situation has changed dramatically and I'm still not used to it, not sure it's what I want, and have no real space of my own to feel at home in. I can't remember if or where I said it before, so in case it's not clear: I moved out because I was dumped, and the end to a relationship is a really hard thing to cope with. I do see a therapist regularly, which gives me a place to breakdown and cry in a way that is limited. It feels much safer for me to be upset there than anywhere else, because if I cry in my regular life, there's no endpoint so I just keep crying and crying and crying and fall alseep in tears and it is awful. I also have a doctor appointment coming up to try and deal with some underlying psychiatric needs that have always been there, but are making my depression much worse right now than I think it would otherwise be. I'll probably talk to her about the depression too, but I haven't had good luck treating that with meds in the past, so I have no intention to seek or accept meds for that. Amazingly, I never dropping into full-blown sick mode. So I'm still running every other day. I throw in something else brief at the gym afterwards when I'm up for it, but that's not very often. I really need (unfortunately it's a need, not a want) to start doing yoga or something because my neck is death-trap tight. Because stress is like that. The running is actually going really well, although I need to be careful because my hip has been feeling tight the last few days. I may need to force myself to take a break to do some serious squats or deadlifts or something. Some of that stuff must have been helping, because it was feeling better (and still is, in general). Running is also kind of funny, because Zombies! 5k has you do the same workout 3 times in a row, but I tend to get wildly different distances for it, which don't seem to correlate too much with how well I feel like I did. I suspect it's the one location which doesn't get very strong gps signal, but I don't know how to verify that. I've given up paying attention to sleep and water and writing. It's obviously more than I can handle right now. I'm paying a little attention, but not putting any real effort into it. I'm still writing occasionally, and my earlier efforts to pay attention to water are still paying off at work.

Oh god I wish. They're terrible. I'm cramming them full of every activity I can find and trying to run away from my feelings. It's not working. It's not working at all. I'm trying really really hard to reinvent myself right now because I'm hella depressed over my ex and getting dumped. I haven't been able to relax in a long time.

I was going to go to the gym today and lift stuff, since I haven't done so hardly at all since I started running, but I was feeling too down. I went home early instead. So stressed out right now : (

I did the same training run as Sunday, but it was under 3k today. I'm not sure why it's that big of a difference, though I did walk more of it. My hip was hurting (I think the knee raise things were causing problems, but I'm not sure). I was also super tired today, even though I thought I slept ok. I managed to take the bus, but instead of writing I just slept. Thinking I'm getting enough sleep is not the same as actually getting enough sleep. I don't think that particular water drinking tactic would work too well for me. I would have to chug water and I hate that (unless I am thirsty and it's refreshing - but that's different). I have other smaller tactics that seem to be working well. A lot of it is OCD-driving strangness, like convincing me my water source is "clean" enough. Why can I drink tap water from location A but not location B? Couldn't tel you - but it makes a difference. But since the "clean" water is cold, I have to have 2 bottles on hand - one to drink out of and one to fill and let warm up a bit. (Seriously - it's all water from the same building. There is no reason I can drink one but not the other. Regardless, I am more inclined to actually drink the water if I fill it up at a particular location, and it's not too out of the way or burdensome, so that's what I do. I had a similar issue at my last office.) So as weird as all that is, water is going better during the week. Weekends are still dicey, but are not too bad.

Hehe. Thanks for the suggestion, but I love breakfast food! (And actually, am pretty biased against leftovers. Just have never cared for them). I've been pretty busy this week, but have been keeping up with my runs. My sinus is getting worse, but not by a lot, and no other signs of illness (fever, coughing, etc) so far! Today I took a leap of faith an ran outside. Not sure it was a good idea, it was a bit too cold, and it was a new training exercise instead of a repeat of one I was familiar with. Overall it went ok though. I used my gps for the first time and went almost 4k! A great deal of it was still walking, but there was a fair amount of running too. It also challenged me to go slower so I could watch my footing, and generally with uneven footing. I chose an area that was pretty flat, but I still had to deal with some ups and downs. I made sure to walk when I had to go up bigger hills, which helped. My sleep has been all over the place, and I absolutely hate time changes, so I'm cranky about daylight savings BS. My water has been similarly hit or miss. It's not really my water intake I need to monitor and increase - it's my thirst. I'm feeling dehydrated, but not thirsty. I have the same issue with sleep - I'm tired but not sleepy. My mind and body are weird, I guess. My writing habits flopped again over the past week. I occasionally sit down and write, but am not really dedicated to it the way I want to be right now. Trying not to worry and stress over that too much, since I have plenty of other stuff to stress about. On the whole I'm keeping busy, which means I'm making a priority of the things I care about. Sometimes that which I care about just isn't quite what I want it to be, as is the case for writing right now. But since the running is going good, I'm pretty satisfied.

Hehe. That sounds pretty awesome. It's still way too snowy and cold and icy and DRY COLD AIR OF DOOM, so no way am I running outside until it warms up. I would die in so many ways, I'd prefer the zombies get me I figured out where and how to do the track at the local rec center, so I have this weekend covered (which is neat!). On the down side, I'm pretty certain what I have is the flu. Still just dealing with sniffles and stuff, but that's how it started for my friends and they got much worse (and are still not better), because the flu this year is terrible. So I'm expecting to have at least of week of unplanned downtime when it hits me hard. Meanwhile, I'll keep following the advice that I can keep going as long as it's only in my nose and throat. If it hits my lungs or I get a fever, I'll rest. I'm really hoping I don't get as sick as other people are getting! --- I did get lots of sleep last night. Went to bed around 10 (woh early! neat) and got up and went to work early, and actually got work done (been hard to focus because I've been so stressed, not that I like my job very much even in the best of times - but that's a different story). I didn't write during breakfast because I was worried about catching the bus (which I did, but barely). So I wrote a little on the bus this morning (2 sentences) and more on the way home. So that was ok. Also have plans to take the bus more often than not this week (first time in a while) so that should help me keep the writing up either way. Maybe breakfast writing is just for non-bus days. On the downside, I'm out of breakfast food. I was going to get some more on the way home tonight and spaced it. It's too late (more like too cold and icy) to bother now, so I guess tomorrow will be coffee + pastry from a shop. Also did really really well with water today. What worked better was having 2 bottles. When one emptied, I could fill it up at the fountain (which is WAY too cold to drink) and let it sit and get close to room temp while drinking from the other one. I think if I keep going at this pace, I'll feel pretty satisfied. Mostly trying to focus on keeping my spirits up in general, and hoping I don't get very badly sick in specific.

I just started training for a 5k for this challenge. I'm using the Zombies! 5k app, so I don't have to plan any runs myself. What it doesn't give me much guidance on is stretching. Does anyone have a good, simple, short list of must-do stretches for after a run? Right now I'm just sort of vaguely stretching out my legs in half-remembered things from who-knows-where. I need things that are simple to understand and simple to execute, so that I don't get too overwhelmed.

Me too! So far it's just the sniffles, but my friends are really sick (flu, I think) and I probably caught what they have. Will just have to sleep as best I can, drink as much water as I can, and hope for the best (pretty much my challenge in a nutshell anyway). Today was my day off running, looking forward to it tomorrow although my schedule is going to be kind of tight, since I have other activities in the evening too. I woke up before my alarm this morning, but not by too much (need that rest to fight off cold/flu/zombies) so I just got up and got going. I was also pretty happy with my water today. I didn't measure it, but it felt pretty good. Particularly for a Sunday.

Made my runs on Thurs and again today, so that's going well. Smaller bra was an improvement, but not sure if I'll need more since the training just has really short drills (run 15 sec, walk 1 min, x 10). Feeling ok about that overall. Also added in some mild weight work afterwards today, which is good at least to remind my body how to do those things. I did squats today and my shoulders were tighter than they had been, so I'll have to put some effort into making sure those stay limber to keep what gains I had. Sleep: I seem to be trending to bed around 11:30 instead of 11 (except to night, but I was out with a friend for her birthday) and getting better about waking up. Going to keep aiming for bed at 11 so it doesn't slip back later, while focusing on also getting up early enough. After another week I'll try to shift it a little bit earlier. Water: Struggling to drink as much as I intend to, for a whole host of random reasons that should be easy to fix, but aren't really that easy. I think I should keep trying to pay attention to how much I drink and get a little bit more, but I also need to focus on fixing the things I can (like getting a water delivery going, since the tap water here is part of the problem). Writing: Have made no real progress on this. I'm still writing only on the bus, and I'm not often on the bus lately. Fixing my sleep might gain me one (or at most 2) days of bus rides, since I've have a few times where I skipped the bus because I slept in too late to catch it. Mostly, though, it's because I have stuff going on after work and need my car. So to reiterate: what I want to do is make time daily for writing. I considered writing during breakfast, but I tend to get really stressed out if I worry about being late, so I'm not sure that's as practical as it sounds. Still, as I write that I'm reconsidering, because no other time has sounded quite as good or as easy to be consistent about. And I did commit to trying to actually eat breakfast instead of running by a coffee shop. So on second thought: I will try to write during breakfast this week, just to see how it goes. Overall status: actually pretty excited about the running thing, which is weird and cool. I haven't made any effort to run since I hit puberty (stupid bras!). I can't wait until it's warm enough to run outside (which will be way cooler than a track for fleeing zombies). My plan is to start by running in the area around my gym, since I have access to lockers, showers, and relatively flat terrain. So far I've been running every other day. I know it's built in that I can take weekends off and just run MWF, but instead I'm going to try to just run every other day until I can't. That means I'll need to run next Sunday, if all goes according to plan, which will be the first time I won't have easy access to my gym. I'm sure there's a few options much closer to home (although you never know, weather might be 70 and sunny that day). Basically I need to figure that one out. (I can go to my gym, but it makes a lot more sense not to unless I need to be in that area anyway - usually it's for work or other events (in the case of today)). I should probably drink a bit of water and go to sleep now. Very tired, and definitely fighting off getting sick. So far it's just in my sinus, so I'm not restricting zombie training or anything. I'm hoping it's a cold and not the flu, and that it will pass quickly and quietly without hitting my chest.

Insert jealousy here! I wish it was that easy. I have an absolute hell of a time finding clothing that works for me. I have skin sensitivities and some weird unidentified allergy, so finding clothing that fits my weird shaped spots and doesn't mess up my skin is seriously one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And it's not something you get to do once and stop. That makes it a huge stressor on top of being really necessary right now (though I think I have enough to get by for my goals, my life in general requires clothing options I haven't been able to find which are hard to shop for). It's hard not to be negative about it when needing clothing typically equals panic attacks. It's hard to even type this without wanting to throw things at the walls in frustration. Hahaha! I honestly didn't even notice how negative and judgmental that was until you pointed it out. I'll have to work on the observation and not judging mode. It's hard not to stress about all the things I haven't done. Today went better (more according to plan?) than yesterday. I got to bed at 11:30, but most of the last 30 minutes was finishing getting ready for bed and waiting for a really slow page to load on my computer. I did a pretty good job drinking water (and coffee, but who's counting) today. The only point where I fell behind what I wanted to be drinking was when I was stuck on the bus an hour longer than normal without a water bottle (which might have been a good thing, considering there was no where to go to the bathroom). It snowed a lot and the bus got stuck. I also didn't bring water on purpose, but that was assuming a shorter bus ride too. I concluded today that I should eat more dry (or salty) foods, because then I drink a lot of water. I didn't go to the gym because of the snow. I was (rightfully) worried about the roads. So instead of catching the later bus after the gym, I just caught an early bus. Definitely the right call today. What occurred to me much later was that I wish I brought my gym bag home, since it has all my running-capable clothes in it (not to mention my headphones), and it snowed more than expected so I'm not sure I'll actually go into the office tomorrow. I actually had a lot of plans that assumed I'd be going to work this Thursday. So I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to do the next episode for running tomorrow. I didn't have any sort of plan for what I was going to do at the gym specifically anyway (I never do, I'm just like I haven't done squats in over a week and I see a free squat rack! Ok sometimes a little more directed than that, but that's still fairly typical). I'm thinking I'll try running followed by light weights next time, using the running instead of jump rope to warm up, at least while the episodes are only 30 minutes long. That's longer than I would jump rope, but still could work with a longer gym day. I won't know til I try, so trying is the plan right now. I did write while on the bus today, but I don't know when I would write any day I don't take the bus (which is most of them right now). Tomorrow is likely to be super stressful, so I don't expect to write any (if I do, bonus points, but certainly not going to hold myself to it when it's just not realistic at all). Trying to think ahead and plan and prepare and so on and on and on and I am terrible at it. This is why the sleep is such an important goal, though, because this stuff improves with my sleep. Still wish I liked that whole sleeping thing though. I still don't know what would make me actually want to sleep more than I do now (like actually desire it, rather than knowing intellectually that it's important). That would be a very worthy challenge goal all by itself: Like Sleep. No clue how to accomplish that one or improve it incrementally in any way. The only really really good thing is that I got an electric blanket for my bed, which means I at least don't avoid the bed because it's too cold. Ok, been rambling for a while and I'm not going to try to reread all that. The short version is that there are many things I'm avoiding thinking about. I'm running out of ways to avoid thinking about them tonight, so I'm gonna go read or watch netflix or something.

I also might need to look into better bras. Mine was not entirely helpful for running. I think I have a few that fit tighter, so I'll try those first. Due to allergies, finding bras is a nightmare, so hopefully it won't come to that.

My planning skills: negative 1 My ability to LOOK like I have planning skills: 3 LOL In other news: HELP! My zombie app is flaky! I did the first run today (hooray) but the timing bugged out and played a bunch of the messages all at once instead of spaced out correctly. Anyone else run (lol pun) across this issue? I haven't had a chance to search the interwebs for info (will probably do so tomorrow at work). It made a section of the run 15 seconds then walk 1 minute go really really NOT according to plan. In more related to goals news: BEHIND ON WATER. Bad. Did not drink enough today, for sure. Drinking a tea latte now, instead of water, though I'll try to counterbalance a little by downing some water when my latte's gone. Sleep: Uhh. Bed was at 11:30 last night, which was later than I should have allowed, but better than the night before. And instead of getting up and getting going when I planned, I snoozed my alarm for like an hour ... It was an hour I could spare without being late to work, but was not in line with my plans for the day. Boo. Running: I did that! And the app wants to kindly tell me when my next run should be (Thursday), so for now I'll just roll with it, because I really do suck at actually planning. I'll have to lay it all out on a calendar at some point, because I'm sure some of them will conflict with my other stuff. I want to get a running backpack. Do they make those? I'll have to look. I like to carry stuff with me, like my phone and water, and right now I'm outta luck. Plus then I can mime picking up zombie supplies!! Writing: Uhmm.. I might have time tomorrow? NEED TO MAKE TIME. Very important. So basically the only goal that went more or less as planned for the day was running. Will try to make tomorrow better. No running tomorrow, though I may lift weights at the gym if I have time. I haven't decided yet.

I'm not even sure I don't remember where I left off in season 1 (it was over a year ago), so once I finish the 5k app I'll probably start the story over but running instead of walking. I haven't started the 5k one yet - plan on starting tomorrow though!

First day: meh I didn't get to sleep last night until after midnight. I spent a lot of time after 11 pm looking at the clock and avoiding going to bed anyway. I woke up around 7, but only really to turn my alarm off so I could sleep in. (Not a great start). I don't know if I'm counting last night or not, but I'm hoping to do a lot better tonight regardless. I sort of have to, since I have a meeting early in the morning that it would be very bad to miss. I'm doing ok on water, particularly considering I'm at home today. DRINKING WATER NOW. Go self. Go drink. K I'm back. Haven't been measuring water, but I did make sure to finish a bottle before lunch, which often seems to help set the pace for the rest of the day too. I switched to a different brand of bottled water, which seems to be an improvement. The other brand I got tasted funny to me. On the whole, I haven't had quite as much water today as I think I should, but if I finish off this bottle I'm at least not making it worse. I feel more or less hydrated overall. I have neither planned out what days I'll be running, nor started yet. I feel like that's ok, because yesterday I wiped myself out climbing 56 flights of stairs (I did Fight For Air in Denver). I am planning on doing my first run / whatever Zombies tells me tomorrow after work (at the gym, since the cold dry air is going to be a problem, even though I'd much much prefer to run outside). I need to find a way to reward or at least like sleep. That's going to be hard - I tend to ignore my reward systems by either having rewards I don't care about or deciding I want the reward even if I didn't "earn" it. Again, not looking for suggestions - just letting off a little steam : ) You would think feeling a lot better by getting enough sleep would be reward enough, but somehow it's just not (and I do feel a million times better when I get enough sleep). I think I may add another goal - writing. Between NaNo burnout and breakups, the start of the year has been terrible for it. And my schedule makes it hard to depend on writing on the bus like I did before, since I'm not always able to take the bus. So I need to find a new time and place to depend on. I'll be thinking on this... Probably shouldn't over think it, since I usually only write for 15 - 20 minutes (when writing on the bus) anyway.

I tried this, but couldn't figure out how to delete the default tracking goals in it. I don't really need an app for tracking, so much as I need to decide what I'm inclined to track (as in what I will actually do). I'm not asking for ideas, so much as commenting on my difficultly tracking things that should be "easy". I tried Argus too and it was the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. Without even setting it up, it was harassing me CONSTANTLY. Not a fan of stuff that harasses me. The problem is my only hope for running shoes is to find good minimalist shoes. The store I was at only had 2 varieties, and only one that was in my size. My problem with every standard running shoe in existence is that the arch hits my foot in the wrong spot and causes EXTREME discomfort after about 30 seconds, which means pain pain pain later. I wish I was kidding when I said I have never ever found a shoe with built in arches that didn't hurt the hell out of my foot. And I'm not patient enough at all to find magical inserts to fix them - usually they just make the shoe fit worse but in more subtle ways for me. Basically, I hate shoe shopping, because it usually amounts to nothing, and I haven't the energy or patience to shop around much. I don't see that changing, ever. Ok, signing out for now because I'm in a crappy mood and am getting annoyed by everything.

Signed up for the 5k today! I was at a sporting goods store and shopped for shoes, but I couldn't find anything good. The only ones that seemed ok they didn't have my size. I had a discount thing, so I was hoping to find some for relatively cheap.

I'm going to be doing zombies! 5k this challenge too! I only ever listened to part of season 1 (walking), so once I finish the 5k training I'll probably start that over, since it was over a year ago.

This is my first time as a scout (normally I hang out in the druid area!) Quest: Run a 5k! Why? Well there are several reasons why. The first is that I was dumped in January, and my mental self is limping along. There's not much I can do to take care of myself other than keep busy. (Most of my critical needs both practical and social are ok, even if I'm super crazy stressed over everything right now) As such, I've been scouring meetup for stuff to do, and one of the things I ran across was a nifty 5k at the end of April. I'm not much of a runner, but I decided I want to do it anyway. So there ya go, that's a decision down. I have just enough time to actually try to train, so I thought I probably should. I definitely cannot run a mile now. I looked into c25k, which conceptually should work fine for me, but all the pages on it were like WEIGHT LOSS!!1!!111! That's fine for anyone for whom weight loss is a goal, but not only is it not something I'm after, it's something I find incredibly stressing. I was disappointed until I realized that I could use the 5k version of Zombies, Run! which will take me through the running stuff without making me constantly wade through weight loss talk. And I like their stuff (I did part of season 1 just walking, because the story was cool, so I'm sort of excited about this). PLEASE NOTE: I would like people to avoid discussing weight loss in this thread. I appreciate the courtesy. Similarly, I would like to avoid discussions of food an diet, with the exception for things like: what can I eat before a run that will help me keep my energy up without upsetting my stomach. Zombies 5k is 25 episodes, so I need to figure out how I want to space that out over this challenge + most of April. I also want to keep up lifting weights at the gym (usually I go twice a week) so I need to plan plan plan. Planning is hard, should be interesting. Most of my lifting goals will be maintenance or stronger focus on arms / back, most likely. General plan for running gear: same stuff I wear to the gym. Might not be perfect, but should suffice. I'm most worried about my shoes, but I think they're designed to be running shoes anyway. Regardless, I'm not feeling up for spending money on more shoes for something that might not work out. Mostly I just need to keep and eye on the condition of my shoes so I can replace them if I start nuking them. Due to certain stress (*cough* over the breakup), I also need to try to do better with sleeping and water intake. I've been sleeping poorly, and irregularly (though not as terribly as I would have expected) and have been dehydrated for a while now. Part of sleeping is making sure I wake up on time, and oddly, eat breakfast. I used to breakfast with steadfast regularity, and now it's hit and miss, meaning I spend a ton of extra money stopping for coffee and pastries in the morning to serve as "breakfast". For sleeping: I want to wake up between 6:30 and 7 every weekday. That means I really need to be in bed by 11 whenever possible. That means I should really be getting ready for bed at 10. Getting to bed includes teeth, internet (like updating this thread). That means I need to have showered earlier in the day (I usually shower in the evening, but timing varies). Showers won't be a problem on gym / running days because I always follow stuff like that with showers. Exceptions for bed time on work nights is Thursday evenings, because I have a conflict, and will likely reach my bed at 1 am (12 if I hurry and also skip internets). Breakfast shouldn't be a problem as long as I'm waking up on time. I'm not sure if I'm going to set a wake up time for weekends. Even the bedtime is iffy due to trying to maintain a basic social life (sadly my friends are night owls). Will play that one by ear for now, but in general want to be in bed by midnight-ish on weekends and up around 8, when possible. I don't know how I want to track water intake. I am shockingly bad at just counting bottles. I am, however, really good at knowing when I'm not drinking enough water, like right now. I'll ponder this over the weekend and hopefully come up with something I will find more effective (for me personally) than just number of bottles consumed. All in all, I have quite the planning to take care of this weekend, but I'm looking forward to the weirdness of my first 5k goal eva.

Hehe. Thanks! I made it to the gym today. I was avoiding work, so I went early in the afternoon, and it was really nice because I could easily get the equipment I wanted. Definitely did not drink enough water today. Also badly need to catch up on sleep. Maybe starting tonight? I am still having issues keeping skin care enough of a priority, though it hasn't gotten terrible. I'm using an over the counter lotion instead of prescription stuff, because my doctors are too much trouble to deal with. Seriously, getting a new prescription is an exercise in frustration. I can get a refill of the stuff I already have, but I doubt it's worth it, since I can't use enough to keep on top of the problems. Doing ok on allergy meds. I don't forget about them entirely very often, despite the lack of sleep... Next challenge is definitely going to be sleep focused. Not sure how I'll manage that yet because motivating myself to sleep when I don't want to and I'm stressed out is... challenge is to mild a word. Will be thinking about it a lot over the next week or so.

P.S. I do occasionally make it to the gym, but it's often too hard to find time, or I'm too tired, or both. I can't make my old schedule work anymore.

Depression and inability to sleep (well) are starting to take a toll. I don't care about work at all. I don't care about my (normal) social stuff the way I did before. Half the things I look forward to (particularly on saturdays, for some mysterious reason) fall through entirely. I'm slacking a bit (but not entirely) on skin care. I've mostly kept up with my allergy meds, but I may have missed this morning. I was so tired that I can't remember. Mostly I'm really incredibly tired and stressed. I really haven't relearned to relax. Overall, this sucks pretty hardcore, and there's really not much else to say about it. I'm incredibly lonely (even with friends and family around), and struggling (but honestly trying) to fix that (both in the meet new people way and in the be ok being alone way, I think).

Thought about it a little. Have a few weird reasons not to like them. Honestly, I feel like it would only be useful for knowing for sure if I've missed doses. I'm also too tired to care much about anything but how stressed I am. I should be asleep now, but I don't really feel like sleeping. It was a pretty bad day. Went to the doctor, which was stressful, and didn't get any good answers. Just have a shitty list of stuff I could try if I really wanted to (all of which I already know are pretty bad options for me). Need to find a homeopath or something, and that's going to suck, be super stressful, and generally make me upset over a lot of things. I cried so much today. Mostly over relationship/ex stress, but also over doctor stress. Really just feeling frustrated with everything, and lost. I guess all my taking care of myself mini goal things are about the same as before.

Gleeeeh. Today was pretty irritating. The weather messed up all my plans. Everything (skin, water, allergy meds) is about the same as yesterday - except the evening dose of meds, which I remembered only because of typing this. I did get a bit more sleep, but not a lot more. I only worked for a few hours and got nearly nothing done. Work sucks, and I don't want to go. I have more than enough to do trying to sort through my belongings and figure out what to keep, and finding places in my new room for everything I need. I have a few empty drawers to fill, but it's hard to figure out what stuff needs to be kept there. Some of the drawers are really too narrow for my clothes - like jeans just don't fit in drawers. My biggest drawer fits maybe 2 pairs of jeans, because jeans just fold awkwardly and are thick and lumpy when folded. I'm getting better at filling my spare time, as well as not stressing myself out when I'm alone for a few hours (like weekend mornings). Sleep is still an issue, and will be for a while.