Korranation

WEEK 3ish?

Weird that this is the first part of my writing and yet the last part I'm filling out. Going over my goals for this challenge was like setting my intentions in journaling and gave my the oomf I needed to go for another workout on the trx bands and a nice long shower. I was dripping by the end of the workout. I tried to make sure than my hear rate stayed above 125 so I could get that heart cardio going. Weird thing was that I started getting all panting and shaky when it dropped below 120pbm.

Nothing else much to report. Work is work, they have me managing a whole building, but there are plenty of night dwellers on teams chat to help if I have any questions. I did a zoom call with some friends to catch up. They're all wanting me to come back to their secret weekly running meetings. I'm too busy running from the rona to run with the group again. haha the joys of living in the U S of A. I didn't cook anything this week since I'm still going off of the prepped meals I made. Not looking forward to cooking next week. And I may be getting a new roommate on Friday. The house my sister was staying in was not renewing their lease for her group she was staying with and has been unsuccessful in finding another home for rent. Which will be weird since I'm nocturnal and she's a day walker, so we would be switching shifts with the bed.

Sleep routine

My sleep routines was somewhat inconsistent this week. It always stems from one day of bad sleep though. If I get under six hours I'm exhausted and full of energy at the same time. Like you want to do everything you want to do and ignore everything you need to do. Guess a lack of sleep kills my executive functioning (EF) switch. This means I will put off eating, hygiene, and sleeping which in turn feeds back into that negative cycle. The planning, problem solving, working memory, cognitive flexibility, and monitoring portion of EF work well for the most part, the attention, initiation, and inhibition aren't. ( I fell down a long rabbit hole of articles going over the properties that make up EF). But I'm not sure how to get attention back when I'm tired and in autopilot and haven't built up those habits I can fall into. Or when a reminder goes off why I still refuse to initiate in the tasks. When that happens the reasoning is gone too in that I'll think "I have time to put this off" or "it's not a priority" or "doing this is a monotonous waste of time and I'm nothing more than a mindless husk following basic tasks until the inevitable end of the heat death."... I can get a little melodramatic with my reasoning depending on the mood.

 Another thing I have been neglecting is journaling before or after bed. I've used this reflect on what I've done for the day, what I can do better, and what I can do going forward to be my best before bed. And after bed use it to state my intentions for the day, mindfully recognize the distractions that will come my way and how to say no, etc. Also, reading a book hasn't been a priority either. I have been listening to audiobooks while I do chores, but haven't sit down to open up a book for some wind down time. Then again that is more for relaxing, and I feel would need to be scheduled in, and seeing that there's no time during my work time, I'll have to do during my time off.

I have forgotten about the meditation part too. I've tried doing so before bed. It helps me to fall asleep faster. Maybe I can use this as a tool after work to focus on the present moment and restate my intentions so I don't ignore my needs and feed more to the negative downward spiral.

Workout

I had worked out last week and that left me sore for more than three days. And I had just used a simple 15 minute video. Although I may have gotten excited to push myself like that, that I may have continued with the reps afterwards. I remember I've done this in past challenges where I find a basic at home workout and realize how easy it is so I push myself, wake up sore for the rest of the week, and subconsciously don't want to do that again and end up self-sabotaging the whole challenge. I've done plenty of stretches at work, but I wasn't in the admin office long enough to do a workout. I don't have any issues with my knees since I've been taking vitamins and collagen smoothies more regularly. Plus I have been doing less physical parts replacements and more software troubleshooting. I use to have plantar fasciitis years ago after I started walking more to relax after work. At first I thought it was the new strain of physical activity and bad shoes. And after trying everything with the podiatrist. Came to realize that it was a vitamin D deficiency. Weird how a simple lack of a certain vitamins can cause some major chain reactions.

Eating

I've kept up with my AIP recipes. I'm glad I have so many meals stocked up. It's been nice that the newer recipes turned out well. The asparagus doesn't hold up well after being cooked a second time in the microwave. I've grabbed AIP friendly snacks that fix that salty crunch craving I get with plaintain chips. I also found that the grocery store has gluten free pretzels that taste like the real thing, buttery and all. I realize I don't really need snacks if the prepped meals are the right amount of calories. But most times they're not so I use cashews, almonds, and craisins to fill in the gap. They're still a good source of protein, carbs, and fats.

Hoarding knowledge

I finally started making a physical binder as a series bible for the story I'm writing. I realized I had a forgotten file in my google docs of the story I was working on last year. I even had a whole folder dedicated to the third and final big bad villain. The character interview is even in the form of a conversation. Guess I plugged into my autopilot deep processing mode when writing that. I can type about 85wpm so in meetings when someone is talking I would usually transpose what they were saying verbadim. I got some weird looks the first time I did it since I get this thousand yard stare while my fingers are going a mile a minute. But after cleaning up those notes and emailing to them to everyone in the meeting I would get emails from others who would not be able to make a meeting asking for the logs. or request for previous logs in the event of a dispute of what was said. the weird thing is, is when I was typing I couldn't recall a word I heard. Guess it's a weird thing about being a visual learner. I can give exact directions to most places in town and can see a place in pictureesque clarity, but can't recall basic conversations when stressed for the life of me.

This week I'll be combing through a bible series templates I found from one writer on youtube and be transcribing them for the google docs. I can pull them up from there and have a notebook at the ready to fill things in. I'd like to try writing things out again, then go into scanning them once I've gotten enough fleshed out. I don't want to be staring at my phone screen to write some things to find out the layout is wrong or something happens with my account.

Personal life level up

I've put google drive on my phone. It's more of a hassle than anything else. I've also included google docs when I need to edit things. Back when I started using drive to make my series bible I had laid out the sections and subsections, but it's like combing through a labrinth to get five folders in and jump between apps to view the doc. Lot's of trial and error there.

I canceled my gastroenterologist appointment to try and get a MRT allergy panel done with my other blood work. There was an error with the receptionist with my doctor and they never sent out that request. But on the bright side I did get the rest of my blood work done. All my thyroid tests came back normal so the AIP is really working well. The normal blood tests came back all good too. Not sure how long it will take to iron out the error and go in for round two of testing. My doctor doesn't want to prescribe me any thyroid meds since my charts came back so clean. Clean eating will do that. Guess this means I'll have to keep up the recipes. I'm not looking forward to the holidays.

Father's day was a nightmare. We had a true Texan meal of steaks with potatoes. I put some country crock fake butter on mine, but by the end of the meal I had to run to the restroom. My stepmom had prepared the steaks for my dad to put on the grill and I had pissed her off before coming over. As some pretext, I had texted my sisters to get a feel for her mood before coming over. She had asked me less than a day before to make empanadas for father's day. She knows I work night shift and spend my time off sleeping. I had no time to make it and the only stores that carried the right ingredients didn't open until 10AM. I would have sat around for four hours, get the ingredients, and miss out on brunch anyways since the only items she was making all had gluten and/or dairy. So I opted just to go home and sleep and join everyone for dinner. My sisters were not responding since they had left their phones away from the pool. But in pure evil stepmom fashion she went through their text to find what I had written. I had said something along the lines of not looking forward to her ugly and snarky attitude since I wasn't able to make something last minute. So I wouldn't put it against her for putting a whole stick of butter all over the steaks. My insides were hurting for the rest of the day after I was done with all that.

Lessons Learned

• lack of sleep created executive dysfunction
• meditation is a good way to break autopilot and be present
• when going back into a workout routine, start off slow, and do not push past what the routine states
• Craving sugar usually means a calorie deficit
• dipping your toe back into processed sugars leads to a slippery slope
• I wake up a half hour early to account for slow days or when I run into a chatty neighbor (and to give myself breathing room to cool down outside the building so my temperature checks out when I get scanned)
• guided meditation app is the workweeks equivalent of the weekends "pause, think/evaluate, act" motto

to reiterate (prom previous challenge)

• real food and adequate caloric intake removed sugar cravings
• pause, think/evaluate, act is now my new motto for my weekends

• A sleep score of less than 80 on a Fitbit results to short term memory issues, decrease in prolonged active listening, a broken filter when speaking with other fellow humans, word vomit/ rambling, etc.

• Eating carbs close to bedtime lead to hunger pains in the morning
• Not enough caloric intake at work leads to sugar/carb cravings afterwards which is a sign to eat more protein/veggies (even if you don’t wanna)
• Not prescheduling weekends or journaling intentions leads to black out of +12hrs of wasted tictac watching

9 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

My cousin has Hashimotos and it took a while to nail down her sensitivities too. She still gets bad days when something sneaks up on her, but shes doing really well now. 
 

italian food definitely shouldnt taste like tex mex. 😂 good call there!

I'm still ironing things out with my hashimotos. I've fallen in love with rice noodles. They have a similar consistency and texture to regular pasta. They're fun to have when I'm craving buttered noodles. Or if I want to make ramen.

Glad I got my money back on those meal I purchased. I may have to start relying on them again if the US goes back into a lock down. The grocery stores will be insane especially during opening time and that's something no one should have to deal with. Fingers crossed they told their new cook to stop making fusion foods.

Korranation checking in for an update.

Work is just one endless cycle of Job, eat, sleep, repeat. But I’ve probably said that multiple times in my previous challenge. Sunday, Monday, And Tuesdays are my official weekends, so I can use this time to update, reflect on what went right and wrong, and end in a lovely bullet point list. I love lists.

That tictac App is still wasting a majority of my time during the weekends. Yes, it’s a lot of nonsense. But… There have been a lot of useful things I’ve learned. For instance, I have Hashimoto’s which causes not allow me in response to Green and I did the auto immune protocol diet to lessen information and flareups of an auto immune response. Because of this I found out I have dairy sensitivity. And until two days ago I had an expensive appointment planned with a gastroenterologist.... until I saw a video of someone with food allergies mentioning an MRT nutrition bloodwork test. And I already have an appointment for my Hashimoto’s bloodwork check up, so I can kill two birds with one stone now. I’ve also seen recommendations for vitamins that I’ve added to my regimen.

I take vitamin D so I don’t get muscle cramps like plantar fasciaitis. (And if you or a friend has foot cramps, try taking some vitamins before going to a foot doctor.) vitamin C for scurvy and the mythos of it preventing rona, vitamin E drops in my morning smoothies for hair and nail health, Probiotics for  tummy health, and now alpha lipoic acid. This last one is usually taken daily for people with diabetes and neuropathy for swelling, but I’m wanting to lessen any inflammation.

And thanks to vitamins, going semi paleo, and a better sleep schedule I’m no longer the anxious and paranoid husk I once was. I wonder if working out would turn me into a super Saiyan? This isn’t even my final form…

So in other news, I burnt my hand again. The first time was months ago when I was having issues with the dishwasher. But this time my stove broke. The stove burner light was broken and the back burner didn’t click completely off and still on minimum setting. So when I went to go remove the burners to get underneath the range top I burnt my pointer finger. Running it under cold water for 15 minutes really helped. So now I’m hopped up on Benadryl ointment and Tylenol. Let’s hope the water blister isn’t too big.

Sleep routine

Sometimes on long shifts I come home hungry from work. So I can’t help but have a meal before bed. And if I am calories starved enough and lacking the proper micro nutrition, then I have partaken of the sugary snacks that I should not have. I tried my best to count calories a week ahead, but sometimes I forget to pack some snacks that equate into that or there was more physical exertion than normal meaning a higher calorie burn.

work

Some of the tasks on my work go or not specific enough. I’m feeling hard on the no social media after work with the Tictac app. I hate that it’s part of my routine to veg out and turn my brain off after work instead of doing something more constructive and less brain turny offy. I am also been using a Imgur to take short breaks during work too. Instead of reading a book, or article, or a literal breather with meditation.

Workout

I sort of neglected this one to this week. The first half of the work week had auto assigned tasks took up more resources than usual, so brakes were used for eating and sleeping instead of the swole gains. I wasn’t able to use the stairs because the trips going up had extremely heavy rollable carts and bulky items. On the plus side, when cleaning this week I did find some old TRX bands a friend gave me. And they have a door hook on them so I could technically take them to work. But I’d hate to have some walk in on me getting a rep in. And working out off site would be difficult since I’m not familiar with the area, it’s literally night time, and I don’t know any nearby well lit parking lots with sturdy enough trees at the right height (not that I even have the right accessory for that)

Eating

I finally canceled my meal prep subscription. The food seem to be getting worse with each week anyways. For example, The meat for the Italian turkey Ragu was being switched with turkey chili so the cumin from the seasoning was giving me heartburn and I couldn’t figure out why for the life of me. Until I canceled and wrote a lengthy note asking why their Italian dish tasted more like Tex-Mex.

I did meal prep six servings of pot roast again. The only good thing about the subscription is all the plastic containers I have to work with now. I also went grocery shopping this morning so I could make a mango chicken stirfry and a lemon chicken & asparagus skillet. On the downside I caved in and bought snacks. H-E-B has seven best gluten-free pretzels I found for that salty crunchy snack I’ve been craving lately. Plus my sweet tooth has been kicking in and not a mill has a cotton candy flavored pint I can’t stay away from.

~~~

Update

I spent an entire day off cooking. I made nine servings of the stirfry and six servings of the skillet. With the pot roast that about 20 meals worth, so with the morning smoothies that’s 10 days of food if I eat them for the whole week or two and a half work weeks worth. I’ll be planning what to cook next week so I can continue being prepped farther out.

Hoarding knowledge

I’ve been putting this one off. I have yet to even download Evernote onto my phone. And when I do, I’m not sure if I should use my old account or start a new one. My old account is for basically journals about writing and articles I found interesting but it’s very dated. I do have a habit Wendy diving forgetting about the articles, so saving them as hyperlinks where is the real article with the app would be a big convenience for a reference.

On the other hand I do have way more digital books that I could ever read sitting around on my laptop. I’ll try putting one on my phone to see if the text to speech works with some of the apps I have.

Personal life level up

I still need to back up my phone, do a hard reset, and re-upload the previous back up to remove the obscene amount of “other” data so I can put other apps on my phone. I’ll be getting a new phone next week so hopefully this won’t be a problem.

Lessons learned

• some apps can be constructive when consciously using them to better yourself
• More steps need to be taken to remove mindless distractions that suck away resources for more productive means
• Set extra reminders in place dealing with food for work and also pack extra non-perishable rations
• TRX bands make flimsy doors creak like no one's business
• An non-engaging audio-books can detract from focusing on longer tasks like cooking

I’ll try to update more than once a week.

[ramble]Although with my schedule is work sleep and repeat for four days straight... so I’ll have to update while on my lunch break. I was hoping to spend that time either walking outside of secretly working out in the admin office where the cameras can’t see me. I haven’t been able to fit a workout in this or last week during my off-hours. I have no energy after work and no time during my getting ready for work routine. I’d have to cut out journaling to fit it in, but then my head is stuffed with flotsam and jetsam of the day which makes it harder to sleep. And detracting from my amount of sleep always detracts from my Fitbit sleep score. And anything below a 78% leads to a less than peak performance day.[ramble]

So I finished She-ra and the Princesses of Power a few weeks ago and I am obsessed with Entrapta. From her chaotic neutral alignment, hair that acts like an extra set of limbs doc-oct style, to her obsession with robots and first one tech.

Her castle is so fun too. Endless mazes of corridors filled with booby traps and robot butlers, plus a kitchen staff that makes delicious tiny foods.

It’s harder than I thought sticking to a strict sleep schedule. I totally ruined it this week. I thought I’d spend a few minutes looking up some contact info for an in-network doctor and I ended up cleaning the whole kitchen. So when I finally sat down to call the doctor my melatonin had kicked in making it harder to ask for a new patient appointment. And with new paperwork I tried to access it with my laptop, but my laptop’s so slow that it more than likely has some hardcore virus that tracks keystrokes at this point. So I wasted more time than I’d care to admit cleaning the start up apps and reinstalling some anti-virus software with the two week free trial so it auto checks for nasties.

~~~

My main goal for this challenge is to stick with and solidify my routines, see what kinds of flexibility I can MacGyver when choco pudding hits the fan, and prep for my weekends so I’m not wasting time on my bum.

Sleep routine

• no caffeine 6hrs before bed
• No big meals (and/or sugar) after work
• No social media after work
• Meditate
• Read book
• Journal
• Hygiene ritual (shower, clean ears, lotion, brush teeth, dry hair)

Workout

• Take the stairs when possible at work
• Pushups in the admin office
• Find Workouts that strengthen knees ( cuz mine be poppin)

Eating

• rediscover previous AIP recipes
• Prep more snacks
• Start meal prepping again
• Rebuild digital cookbook

Hoarding knowledge

• make more binders on ever note
• Make a brain dump binder for all ideas

Personal life level up

• Have google drive on phone —> (unlocks polishing novel side quest)
• Get new phone
• Turn old phone into security camera for front door peephole
• Go to Gastroenterologist
• Get thyroid blood work —> (unlocks hashimoto super medicine side quest)

I wrote this a few days ago and forgot to publish. I spend my weekend off looking at nothing but tik tik.

I had preordered my food so I don’t have to worry about scrambling for cooking. But I also bought some pork ribs with bone in to make emergency pot roast and stock.... even though I have food and I’m drowning in soup stock. My veggies drawers are also overflowing with discounted fruit. And I got excited and grabbed some mangos and dragon fruit apart from apples.

Food tracking

I really enjoyed having the pork chops for the week. It turned out drier than I would have liked, but the leftover sauce/liquid more than made up for it. I did forget to cook broccoli a few of the days so I didn’t stay as full for as long. I had an apple as a dessert and that really helped with my sweet tooth.

I made the mistake last weekend of making cookies. I found a recipe for snickerdoodles and couldn’t help myself. I replaced the butter with coconut oil to so they weren’t as moist. I did have coconut shortening which sits better in my stomach than normal vegetable shortening does. I made them late and the stores were closed, so I wasn’t able to get my hands on any ghee. After doing whole30/AIP my body reset itself and notified me that I’m now lactose intolerant, even to simple butter.

Also the flour was gluten free meaning it doesn’t have the same elasticity or fluffiness as wheat flour.

I tried having some during work, but led to a sugar craving later in the shift and I had to go to the other building that had the only vending machine on site and grab some gummies. So I nixed them as part of lunch and had them as an after work treat, but I woke up feeling ravenous. Not that normal kind of hunger. The kind where your stomach muscles are aggressively constricting and you can’t tell if it’s a stomach cramp or your body is trying to be a make shift vacuum and sucking in air hoping that some food particle will happen perchance by your feeding mouth hole.

I bit the bullet and am getting more meal prep items. Some of the items do give me the burps and sometimes phantom heart burn, but they’re paleo so they give me more energy and keep me fuller longer than the meals I’ve been making. Plus with this meat shortage I’m not sure I could recreate all the items I want at a similar or cheaper price. Talking to the butchers doesn’t give me discounts like it did in the past.

Fun fact: find an older looking butcher and talk about some recipes you’ve done for organ meats like bacon and beef liver pate, lengua for cow tongue, and chicken stock that looks like jello from the leftover bones of pork-loin. It’s a nice way to connect with them and they’ll go out of their way to help you find good cuts or better recipes you haven’t thought of.

Stretching

I’m learning to balance between standing sitting in a tiny foldable chair with no cushion or back support. Because if I stand for the majority of the shift my knees will be in pain for the next few days. Plus getting to some units require kneeling and squatting. So it’s better to have bad posture and sit in a chair than to overuse the knees. There are more muscles for your back than there are supporting your leg hinges. Plus there are more exercises to stretch and strengthen them.

I have been restraining my deeper stretching to when I’m in the admin office where there are less cameras. It feels weird knowing there are eyes on me at all times and more so that a simp is on the other end watching my every move.

I could write a whole story about the whole stalker vibe this boi is giving off. But then again there’s always one “nice guy” that manages to find me at every new job. It’s been an interesting learning experience to see the red flag vibes some people have.

Lifestyle

Back at it again with neglecting to journal. My last entry I went on a tangent about wanting to do more creative writing. And I think I’ll rewatch some YouTube videos about “writing like [insert popular author]” so I can see what kind of schedule to start tryin out. I’ve fleshed out my story, but it never seemed to take off until I started reverse tracking the history/lineage of the world and stumbled upon the big bang of that world’s universe. So now I have a better fleshed out prequel trilogy of the original magic users, more relatable characters with a better origin story, and the 4D Chess the dirties are playing with them. And I may or may not be hung up on a certain protagonist that will later become the big bad of the final book of the next trilogy. All my favorite characters seem to fake their deaths to become a hero and eventually live long enough to become the beautiful villains they were destined to be.

Learners log

• Processed sugar creates a craving for more processed sugar
• Eating carbs close to bedtime lead to hunger pains in the morning
• Not enough caloric intake at work leads to sugar/carb cravings afterwards which is a sign to eat more protein/veggies (even if you don’t wanna)
• Take advantage of every opportunity to sit when working in a job that requires a lot of walking and bending around
• Not prescheduling weekends or journaling the day of and setting intentions (while working night shift and essentially becoming nocturnal) leads to sitting around for +12hrs watching yuutoobe and toktiks

Week 4 day 1/2ish

Another week sucked into the black void that is the past. I think I fared fairly well despite the lack of weight loss. I did re-learn some important factoids about myself. So I made not in the learners notes. I also know that I’m an overly sensitive person. Sensitive to caffeine, to the lack of sleep, to basically most foods, molds, pollen, certain trees, etc. 

Food tracking

Forgot to order my meal prepped stuff so instead of doing another unsuccessful week of frozen pad Thai I decided to make some food. Which is difficult since meat is getting pricey. I decided to go with pork chops since I ran out the house an hour before store closing time and there was  only one family pack of extra thicc chops left. I also grabbed some pork neck for bone broth purposes. I promised myself I would make ramen with all the stock I have on hand, but I’m not sure how well that’s gonna go with my level of laziness this weekend... yes my weekends are now on Monday’s and Tuesday’s.

Anywho I made honey balsamic glazed chops. I used some extra lard scrapped off from previous pork stock as an oil to brown eat side before throwing the concoction into the Magic that is the instant pot. They were so good that I had to steal a portion all to myself right then and there. And the left over marinade can be thickened up with cornstarch or tapioca starch to turn into a dipping sauce.

For the sides I’ll probably do crispy oven-fried broccoli and some sweet potatoes.

I may have also gotten carried away in the produce section and bought a bag of every discounted apple and pear variety they had on hand. I can’t help myself when I see that glorious half off sticker on fruit. So now I’ve got the next few weeks to look forward to having an Apple a day. If only the shelves had as much vitamin c.

Stretching

Not much stretching needed to be done the previous week either. A lot of tasks were reaching their countdown timers and we didn’t want them to explode or anything. So the more time consuming and less labor intensive tasks took priority. So I spent the time cleaning my email, learning the next steps in the process, and signing my heart out. No one can hear your scream queen auditions in the cacophony that is a room full of hundreds of server fans.... imagine the sound your personal desktop makes when it’s working to hard. Now times that by a thousand. So I’ve been leaving my shifts with more of a sore throat than a sore back.

Lifestyle

I keep forgetting the journaling part. I even fixed my alarms for my wind down routine and everything. But I usually pass out before I can even make it to the shower.

I did spend the previous weekend reevaluating all of my alarms meant to automate the routines and it really helped out. I realized I was sleeping in too long and not giving myself enough time slack to account for spacing between each activity or unexpected events like bumping into another dog walking neighbor which you’ve built a good rapport and thereby socially obligated to commence in the ritualistic social greetings and niceties. And also time to eat some breakfast at home plus making a smoothie for second breakfast for the start of the shift. Hobbit meal times are very important.

Learners log

• pause, think/evaluate, act is now my new motto for my weekends
• I need to set up more boundaries of what needs and wants have to be met for each weekend or it will devolve into watching youbtoob for 10hrs
• Settle on a set of cheap meals with the max 16% off option and set them for weekly subscription or else a whole weekend will be swallowed into the cooking hole
• Replace first hobbit breakfast with journaling. Also make an alarm  for it or it’s not official and will never get accomplished
• A sleep score of less than 80 on a Fitbit results to short term memory issues, decrease in prolonged active listening, a broken filter when speaking with other fellow humans, word vomit/ rambling, and a deeper fascination and amusement with the violent and the macabre. (To remedy this take note if personal meat suit is nigh unconscious after designated sleep time. If no, then ensure a second melatonin is administered after the inevitable startled consciousness prior to the first sleep cycle to ensure meat suit gets a proper deep sleep followed by rem)

On 5/28/2020 at 12:39 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

Sounds like a good week! 
 

how many seasons of she-ra are there? Because I may have to start watching it. 🥰 

There are five seasons

first season has kids as the intended focus audience, then it goes off the edgy end with each new season and ends with rainbows 🌈 

Week 3 day 1

Can’t believe I wrote last weeks and never posted it. That’s what I get for going down the gif rabbit hole.

Food tracking

I may have neglected to scanned in my meals to mfp. But that doesn’t mean my faux diet isn’t working.

I may have taken up a secular version of Ramadan without knowing. I’m eating at work which is after 7PM then have another meal around 1AM.

I have a friend at my apartment complex that use to work night shifts. They said they slept better on a full stomach. So I tried a light meal of rice noodles a few days ago. And I slept right through until it was time for work. My dog might have gotten on my schedule too and graciously not woken me up at the four hour mark.

I had the meal prepped items and had no sugar cravings this week. I realize just now that last week there were two occasions where I went to the vending machine to get my gummi fix. But now that my meals were less processed (and mostly paleo) I didn’t have these issues. The meals were more filling and satisfying that the frozen entrees, but they’re twice as expensive.

Another think for me to consider is the weight loss. My weight has stayed the same the two weeks with the frozen entrees. But with the meal prep caterers I’ve lost 4.4lbs this week and 6.6lbs this month. Granted I literally have no time for four days to graze or binge eat. And I spend my fifth day sleeping.

$80 a week isn’t too bad for ten meals. I guess I can justify the extra cost to go towards a personal convenience and healthy living fee. And the extra pay from the new job will make sure my wallet won’t be hurting.

Stretching

I haven’t needed to do much stretching this week. Most of the tasks I’m working on are more time intensive troubleshooting so there’s no need for me to flex. I do stretch my back if I’ve been sitting too long. And put my arm over my shoulder, hand at the center of my back, and pull on my elbow until my shoulder pops.

Lifestyle

I’ve journaling this week. I literally come home and go through my sleep routine and pass out before I can remember to write. Not sure if I should spend my first day of catching up. I wonder what I might stumble across once I start journal reflecting.

And now that I have some time off I realize I’ve been so busy sleeping and working/training that I have given zero thought as to what to do with my time. Do I finish watching the last season of she-ra? Do I go back to my neglected animal crossing island despite the anxiety it gives? Do I feverishly write a short story and send it off to lightspeed magazine? Do I try catching up with the podcast “ LeVar Burton reads” to brush up on short story ideas? Maybe I should finally press the sky at button?

Learners log

• real food leads to faster and more consistent weight loss than processed frozen entrees
• real food eliminates sugar cravings
• carbinated water is a good substitute if you're needing a soda fix
• black coffee > energy drinks (they give me heart palpitations)
• la croiux is the french white peoples version of topo chico
• the extra price for convenience and healthy lifestyle is work the weight loss investment
• may need to wake up half an hour earlier to journal
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Week 2 day 1

Welp first official week is behind us and we survived. There’ve been some hiccups on my end, but these have all been great learning experiences. For science!

Tracking food

Food tracking has hit a snag. Although all food has been logged, not all has been consumed.

The day after my last post I was moved to the night shift. I was told this at 5am and my shift started at 7pm. So being disorientated all week I have not been making my sunrise smoothies. It’s been work, go home to sleep, wake up, rinse and repeat.

Thank goodness I put in an order for a 10 dish at a local meal prep restaurant near my place. I accidentally volunteered for overtime so the meals work out in my favor.

Stretching

Not sure if I should keep this one at a goal. I’ve naturally been stretching of my back feels tired. And if it’s tight I’ll sneak into a kneeling position and bring my hands to one side and walk them back behind me to pop the lower back.

Lifestyle

Not sure if I’ve been doing any journaling. I did write a stoic prompt before I found out about the night shift. I covered the good, better, best idea: what did I do well today, what could have been better, what can I do to make sure I have the best day moving forward. I had so much planned... before the fire nation attacked.

Learners log

• Reset alarms to reflect new schedule
• Nix the smoothie
• Time is an illusion
• The sun is now my enemy
• don't copy an old entry written on mobile notes and past directly to the website thinking the font will be normal

On 5/21/2020 at 8:32 AM, Sylvaa said:

*cough cough*

 

So it's been a bit. How is everything going? 

Oops 😬 

I meant to update last week, but got side tracked before I could post.

Week 1 Day 3

So I'll be updating this once or twice weekly. I don't have any time after work to do much else other than walk the dog, eat dinner, and unwind for the following day before promptly passing out. So I may go on radio silence for the next four days at least. I didn't realize how much time I can pour into one post since I've always been one to waste time on relatable gifs to break up my walls of text and keep things upbeat.

Tracking food

I tried ordering from a meal prep restaurant that also does catering for my weekly lunches and dinners. Plus they a wide variety of gluten free and paleo friendly options to choose from. Sadly you usually have to order at least a week in advance it you're wanting do to a ten meal plan. So I had to run to a knock off whole foods store near my place and find some frozen gluten free entrees. I've added them all to MFP along with my usual breakfast. The calorie level was low so I had picked up some cashews, almonds, and craisins to make a trail mix for a snack. My average daily calories are between 1,350-1,400. My goal is for at least 1,500 calories since I'm on my feet all day at work. I only went over the carb and fat macros by a margin error of 6grams. But I'm still lacking about 50grams of protein so I'm unsure if I should cut into my rations of canned chicken breast to make the deficit.

Stretching

I did so much stretching at work the last few days. Mainly because the work I was doing was more labor intensive than the usual. They were low level tasks of parts replacements that don't require any troubleshooting and were a good way to get my task number up show I can show the team that I know what I'm doing and can keep up. My back was getting really tight at the end of the last day of work since I been doing nothing but replacements all day. I think I'll switch it up and do troubleshooting this week.

I've also started doing pushups while watching tv over the weekend. Granted it's only five at a time and it's at the knees instead of a full body plank, but I've got to start over somewhere. Just want to make sure I'm building muscles in the right places so I can have more stamina at time progresses.

Lifestyle

As of late my mind has been going full steam ahead with the learning and processing at work. And I realized I couldn't sit down and read a book without a word or phrase sending my imagination into a vividly detailed made up scenario about one aspect or another in my life that has no basis in reality and leaves me with negative and unpleasant feelings. So I picked up The Happines Trap again.

I was religiously reading this book about three years ago. During that time in a previous job I would take my lunch break at a small mom and pop coffee shop that was too far out of the way of comfort for my coworkers to trek to since if I went to a Warbucks they'd usually sit down next to me and start chatting. I was an admin assistant that was sort of downgraded to the front desk where I would spend the entire day alone except for the few clients that would walk through the door. The company was nice when they would say hi, but it detracted from my reading time. I carried a journal and would write at length about what I thought and felt during the questionnaire in the books, and the examples they gave for diffusing negative thoughts or images. And I didn't feel comfortable leaving something that personal out at work in case someone picked it up if I walked away. Not that they did that. But I was paranoid of the over concern  and possible escalation that may occur if someone was nosey.

The book really helped with the negative self-talk I had. I had jumped past all the chapters of the negative stories and images and straight to the values and actions. It had lead me to take the steps to apply for another job and get a better foothold in something that paid more.

But now I'm dealing with only negative images and can't recall how to diffuse them. Once I have those methods down on accepting them and focusing my attention on the real stuff I'll be moving forward to double checking my values with the help of the partner worksheets and see what actions I need to take to get to the next foothold in my life.

I still do normal evening journaling with a to do list after I'm done writing, but I'm looking forward into what I can incorporate from the book into my writing.

On 5/9/2020 at 4:52 AM, Terah said:

Following! 

Congrats on your new job!

Thanks!

I'm stoked about this new career chapter in my life.

On 5/9/2020 at 9:22 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The thing about Toxic people is they are going to be unhappy whether you do what they want or not. When you quit trying, they are just as unhappy as they always were, but you are less unhappy. You always have the choice whether or not to bother with offspring-producer-worship day.

True. Hurt people hurt people.

My previous job was full of hurt people in a company large enough to overlook this kind of behavior since it was the norm for them when they were military.

I'm done trying to keep up with the normies. At this point I just dress so I blend in enough to avoid the being given the sore thumb sticker and leave social niceties at the door.

I stocked up on a bunch of video game t shirts that are subtle enough for the non-gamers to think of as a plain jane logo. Can't wait some of my team light up when I wear my umbrella corp or aperture science shirts.

On 5/9/2020 at 9:13 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

My grandparents were shits. My parents got really good at just limiting their parental duties to a short time-span and then moving on. They only did that because they lived close, and it was like "If we give them a couple hours today, we'll have peace for another year"

 

You gotta do what's best for you. I applaud that you recognized they are toxic-some people don't learn that until their parents are dead and they can stop banging their head against a wall. You're already a couple steps ahead!

Sorry to hear about your family.

I knew what topics to avoid and how to steer a conversation to avoid such unpleasantries during mother's day. Thankfully my stepmom is stressed about restructuring the work tasks given to her employers with the new work from home situation that she has her fair share of drama and didn't need to seek any out. Plus there's not much to criticize about me now since I've checked off the appropriate adulting milestones for the point of my life I'm in. Apartment, stable job, financially frugal, enough income to afford a cheap pre-owned starter car once mine kicks the bucket, all insurance thingies are up to date, no drug problems except a need for antihistamines, etc. And with the current world situation I don't have to pretend to hunt for a life partner now. And who knows, if I'm savvy enough I can finish a first draft of my book or release enough short stories to where I can by something out in the hill country where I can hunt game for food, install 3d printed robots to automate my vegetable gardens, and raise some chickens so I have an excuse to trade and make pleasantries with the crazy neighbors out there.

On 5/11/2020 at 1:11 AM, Mad Hatter said:

This job description is brilliant, it's what the job ad should say. Also I'm amazed at how many people don't understand that the cloud is a very real, physical, energy consuming place.

Glad you like the description. Working with digital clouds aren't that mainstream since they just started a little over a decade ago. All servers are different based on the manufacturer and it's difficult to market a job like this to the masses since most people do not work so intimately with machines in their average daily life.

Week 0 day 6

things feel like things are unraveling fast... or piling up?  Not sure which.

i literally have lost all motivation to do the things. Not sure if it’s the fatigue from work since they let me off the leash to complete my quests at my own leisure. And I’m crushing it. But I’m so tired afterwards. It may be the heat from the servers. (Big secret: the servers are actually human brains. What better way to process and store casts amount of data than through billions of neurons and synapses? Psycho-pass totally stole our idea)

My weeks almost over, but I really want to use this time to recoup. I don’t want to waste a two days going to the bazaar, selecting my ingredients, concocting my nutritional brews for the week, divvying the output, cleaning the mess, and then cleaning some more. 

There is a meal plan subscription that has a gluten free and paleo option and they use real food. Not that silly fad-diet stuff that tastes like cardboardwhoch simultaneously decreases your will to live while increasing the longing to devour a whole chocolate cake. 

This issue is the price. It’s about $80 for ten meal. Which seems high at first, but given that there’s a twelve percent discount over the quantity purchased and the subjective cost for convenience fees. Plus if the meals aren’t filling I can always throw in a sweet potato.thise things are magical. And who knows? Maybe some of the meals will be enjoyable enough for me to recreate. Maybe this can be a ‘treat yo’self” splurge. 

Then again I may not even have time to meal prep for myself since 

Sunday is offspring’s child-bearer worship day. Which if it’s at my parents house will be a whole day event. Usually they’d keep it short, but all the chi lies have flown the coup and what with the endgame looming about it’s a good time as ever to be released  from the shackles of the pergatoey of self-isolation and thrust oneself into the into the warm embrace of nostalgia and the fragrance of toxic relationships and childhood trauma. 

I think this is mor of my jorinaing for the noght than my acrialy journaling, but my infrequent years of posting and gif using here have lead to the overuse of blunt symbolism and images to present some darker themes in a more palitable and consumable material for the general audience. Then again this is how I write when I’m tired and possibly stressed.

Anyways did my stretching st work and sweat more in one week than I have for an entire summer. Despite the fact that the entirety of the moist experience was spent indoors. Yes... stretching. 

13 hours ago, Heidi said:

Welcome, @Korranation, pleased to meet you.

Have some tea! 🍵

How are you?

Thanks for the tea 🍵

doing quite well 

Following

Week 0 Day 4ish

think I got the date right. Don’t think I’ve journaled in a few days. Which isn’t good. I kind of let some of my bad habits come back. I tried out the Overlord anime themed rpg app. The storyline was fun for a while, but the pacing was slowed to fit the number of quests per chapter and I ran out of energy too quick in the game. Plus you have to drop an obscene amount of money to get enough gatchas for the right high teired character peices. And you had to wait daily for a lottery finite amount of items to level break their skills. It made me miss playing the Sword Art Online app. Mainly since that game had a similar hack and slash feel to kingdom hearts. But I don’t have enough time to pour into it to grind to the max level. Plus everyone you delete the app it permanently deleted your character and save file. But the leveling system was built right, The Gatcha mechanics don’t cripple you too much at the first half of the game, the story line is engaging, the side quests have enough heart in them to keep interest as well, there are plenty of active guilds, and the world feels almost open. Sadly it takes too much memory on my phone even though it’s due for a hard reset to remove the illusive “other” data. I swear I’m getting a different brand phone. 

When end I did journal a few days ago it gave me the inertia to go to the grocery store to get the rest of my supplies so I could meal prep five serving of pork tenderloin and a seven servings of orange chicken. The only problem is the broccoli that goes with the chicken. A fresh head bakes to perfection in the oven and the flour eats, but I bought a frozen bag which is fine to steam but has too much moisture to get the right kind of crispy. Ugh the problems of wanting a decent meal prep side dish. 

Ive logged in all my meals for the week and didn’t quite hit my calorie goal so I’ve added some pork rinds and fruit. Wish I could have cheese, but after going whole30 I found out I’m lactose intolerant and casin causes hyperactivity for me. The melatonin gummies are fine since the coloring is from the carmine bug and not red40. 

The inly good thing about these shit downs is that I’m not socially obligated to go to restaurants. I hate freaking out trying to find something that is gluten and dairy free. And if the restraint doesn’t have a gluten free menu you know their spices, sauces, and oil all have it and the staff sure as heck don’t care about cross contamination. More than once I’ve had a waiter stop at our table after we’ve finished to apologize that the dish has gluten and the kitchen only told them a few minutes ago. So I have to spend the next few days feeling sick with headaches,   Brain fog, stomach cramps, and anxiety attacks. So there’s always a silver lining to everything. 

On 5/3/2020 at 7:43 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Welcome back! Congrats on the new job!

Thanks! I’m happy for the change

On 5/4/2020 at 5:07 AM, annyshay said:

Congrats! Welcome back!

Good to be back.

On 5/5/2020 at 11:13 AM, Ann of Vries said:

Welcome back! Love your focus points ❤️ 

I’ll be refocusing the focus points to they can be more... focused. 

45 minutes ago, Chris Tarly said:

Following for 10 hour shift solidarity.

 

Eventually, you do figure out how to dilly-dally.

I think I don’t have time to dilly dally during my shift days. I’m looking st my sleep schedule and seeing that I may need an extra 45min of time asleep. I like to gauge my sleep score on my Fitbit’s grading of time asleep and deep and REM sleep. Restfulness is a joke since my heart rate goes from 55 to 75 through out the cycles.  

If I don’t get enough sleep, I don’t retain as much info as I’d like while training and have a harder time focusing. It’s like being underwater,  trying to hear and see the conversation above surface, all while trying not to be dragged deeper into the ethereal waters of the mind and get lost there. 

So how do you do the dilly dally? Do you try to pack it in during the weekend? 

Hmm... maybe I should push my evening routine to an earlier time so I can journal and sleep longer?

Following for basic beach solidarity 

Following 

Following for the angst 

can’t think of an angsts song off the top of my head except PatD! and My Chemical Romance.

my favorite song that fills me with existential nihilism for my own mortality is this one. I think it’s a similar feeling.

Following for the simple heck of writing!

Following along!!

Following! And to support your artist recommendation. I’m super behind on indie comics, but here are my favorite artists. 

Yokoboo who does https://www.daughterofthelilies.com/

arythusa who does The Glass Scientist comic. And I think some Disney shows https://www.instagram.com/arythusa/

chlove who does Go Get A Roomie comic

https://www.deviantart.com/batlesbo

TinyAinty who does Ava’s Demon comic and possibly some Disney shows 

https://www.instagram.com/tinypainty/

Aliza Layne who does Demon Street. I love their color palettes and fluffy character designs https://mobile.twitter.com/alizabees

Good town for their aesthetic 

https://googtown.tumblr.com

https://marianascosta.tumblr.com

Ill just leave these few for now. Hope that’s enough material to tide ya over 😜

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

  Reveal hidden contents

If I see one more post about how expecting people to wear a mask in public is tyranny and an affront to freedom

 

When I see that I think of my favorite dystopians 🤫