fleaball

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About fleaball

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    Nerd Fitness Sage
  • Birthday February 28

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    rebel

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  1. fleaball

    Countess D'If - Battle Log of Awesomeness!

    HEY HEY COME BACK WE MISS YOU
  2. fleaball

    NeverThatBored: Da Bu Dee Da Bu Dai

    I can't get this song out of my head and I hate you.
  3. Glad you figured out your spreadsheet issue! Remind the Troll Brain you have cats and IF you had a mouse, it would quickly become a snack. I would say don't stress about it. There's no "right" way to do it and it's a really unique process, so it's hard to give advice. :\ You don't have to ignore it like your family does, but you also don't have to be thinking about her 24/7 or be upset when you're not thinking about her. You can mourn the person you lost, and the things she'll never get to do, and the things you'll never do together. (Different circumstances, obviously, but one of the biggest things I had trouble with even before my mother died was mourning the relationship we could have had if things were different, or the person she could have been/the mother I could have had.) It's totally normal to still want to reach out and talk to her because she was a big part of your life and left fairly suddenly and you're still adjusting to that. I'd say that's maybe even a good thing - if you still want to share things with her, she's still a part of your life whether she's present or not. The reason I asked why forgetting she's gone bothers you is I think there's a few different approaches to that. Like, if you want to text her and then go "oh shit, right," I think it's great that there are still things you want to tell her. If you're worried you'll forget about her altogether - don't. She had an impact on you and will always be part of your life whether you're actively thinking about her or not. It's silly when people in movies are like "oh no I'm going to completely forget this person existed!!!" Not without a brain injury, you're not. And if you're worried about offending her by forgetting she's gone, this gets into more personal stuff but here's my take: Sister M sounds like the kind of person who'd get on the express elevator to Heaven/whatever her positively-aligned afterlife is. And regardless of what form that afterlife takes, there are probably a million more interesting things to do than spend eternity watching people who are still alive like some crazy, unscripted reality show. Maybe she'll check in every once in a while to see how people are doing, but she's not going to be keeping a tally of "all the times Bean/my husband/the lady down the street didn't think about me." So do what feels right to you, and feel all your feelings without judging yourself for them. And if your life is a tornado of chaos and a few days go by where you don't think about her at all, that's 100% okay. Ugggggggh @ your boss. And at everyone. Can you start saying no to some of the people you feel less obligated to you? I know it's hard as hell, especially when that pattern has been established. But just keep repeating "sorry, I can't help you with that" and maybe it will stick? Don't give excuses or try to rationalize it. Because it's also 100% true. You'll find a way to do it if you say yes, you always do. But you don't have to. You have more than enough to do to feel completely justified in saying "no, I can't." And if you do that, don't be surprised if whatever they need help with magically gets done anyway because they can do it, they just don't want to or don't want to inconvenience themselves when they can ask someone else. Make your plans. Build in some flex time for the inevitable chaos. One thing at a time, right? And if you're not doing it already, perhaps give the Agents some extra tasks or make them a little more responsible for their own school prep, since they're older now. Oof. I know one of his things is plans and routines and such and I know nothing about being on the spectrum, but is there a way to like, practice being more flexible/more okay with changes? Even like "okay from 2-3pm we'll do either A or B, depending on how the day goes"? (Probably a silly question because if there were you'd have done it already. But just throwing it out there anyway. Hope it's not offensive the way I said it, because that's totally not my intention.) Beyond that, yay for making progress even though you had a shitty Monday. Hooray routines! Continued boo at your friend. But please never feel like you can't complain about your life. Sure, you have a house and food and whatever, but that doesn't mean everything is perfect. I mean if your friend's car just got totaled and you're like "oh man my shiny new Lamborghini needed air in the tires today" then yeah, you're being a jerk. But "hi I'm struggling and would like some reassurance" is not being a jerk. I know internet people aren't necessarily as helpful as meatspace people when you just want a hug, but we're all here for you. And you can still PM me whenever you want. I hope the school meeting went well! And yeah I think you're onto something with the stupid sugar. Crashes are a thing. And if you've been cutting down on it before now I think you can feel it harder, based on what I've read from people doing Paleo and/or keto.
  4. We did! And I need to read more books or something because I was clueless for a lot of it. Re: the great sheet debate - one time I read one of those dumb “x things you should do in your late 20s” or something and it included “change your sheets once a week.” ...excuse me? I mean sure, if I’ve got someone staying over I’m putting clean sheets on the bed but wow. That’s a lot. Except according to the allergist I saw I should for reals be washing them once a week because I’m allergic to dust mites. Oops. I was good about doing them every 2 weeks for a bit, but that stopped. I don’t think we washed our sheets that often at all when I was a kid. There were a few years in a row where we put flannel sheets on in winter and regular once it was warm out, so I guess that was a saving grace? Beyond that I think college was the only time I had 2 sets, and that was because my grandmother went bananas buying me dorm things. (First grandkid to go.) I like the feeling of fresh sheets, and I definitely like when they don’t smell like death after several nights in a row of 70+ degrees with crazy humidity, but it’s such a hassle. Especially when I love my queen mattress but running around it to make the bed is a pain in the ass. On that note, I fucked up. I should have made the bed before I left earlier but I didn’t because my father started screaming at inanimate objects so I just peaced out. Now it’s 1:03 and I’m sleepy but my bed is unmade and potentially occupied by cats. (Now that my room is clean they’ve both been spending a lot more time in it. Not really with me, just in the clean space.)
  5. I’m not at my computer right now to write out the novel I want to write, unfortunately that will have to wait a few hours. But in the meantime, I’m sending hugs and hoping today has been a little better than yesterday! <3
  6. Buying a spare set is perpetually on the to do list, just for the adulting points. But yeah it’s “ugh no I don’t want to wrestle with the fucking fitted sheet” that’s usually the problem. Thanks! Glad to know it wasn’t just me, although boo at everyone else having a bad day too. the sheets were about ready to get up and wash themselves, I think. But they’re fresh from the dryer now so yay.
  7. fleaball

    Athaclena's Oreo Unit Challenge.....

    Can you roller blade through airports instead? That would be fun. Fingers crossed for no con crud this year!
  8. fleaball

    Mahalak - Back in the High Life

    woot!
  9. fleaball

    Sif keeps going

    Here to cheer you on!
  10. fleaball

    The Questing Beast

    Haaaaay how goes life?
  11. fleaball

    Going Back to School

    Welcome to the Rebel party! Good luck getting ready for school. That sounds like chaos.
  12. fleaball

    Adventures in Ranger Land...

    Following!
  13. Sorry about dropping off from your other thread! Glad you pinged me here though. Congrats on the 2 years of sobriety. That's awesome.
  14. fleaball

    Formation, Integration, Application: Tanktimus' next challenge

    If the challenge has already started but you're only on page 3, am I actually late?
  15. fleaball

    Tateman: The Pain Train is comin', baby! Woo! Woo!

    woot woot! Sorry to hear your arm is being dumb though.