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fleaball

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Everything posted by fleaball

  1. I’m gonna fucking murder people. Mostly my father. Yesterday I asked him if he was going to the Thursday night car show because if yes I’d get groceries delivered but if not I’d pick them up from the store and run other errands at the same time. He said he was going. So today I’m like great, the delivery is coming shortly before he’d leave, my brother is going to work around the same time, I’ll have the house to myself for a bit and I’ll make some food. he’s not going. i can still make what I wanted because it’s mostly cutting things and not cooking but like… fuck you? I specifically asked what you were doing today and made plans accordingly and now that’s all just gone out the fucking window. hilariously, my homework for my nutritionist this week is to “observe the flow of the kitchen every day” to see if I can identify a time where no one else is around to bother me so I could jump in and meal prep or something. I love her but she just doesn’t get that rules and patterns don’t apply in this house and as soon as I identify something that might work they just change up their routines as if they can read my mind. Now I’m going to be angry for the rest of the day. And I still have to shower and go to target, plus whatever other fucking bullshit comes my way.
  2. What an actual fucking waste of a day. Had therapy, then asked my father if he was ready to do the ONE thing he mentioned last night that he wanted to do after my appointment. And then that became “oh, while you’re here” and “hey that reminds me” and ugh. I got so wrapped up in all of it that I totally forgot to eat anything. So between that and the 4 fucking hours of doing his shit with him my day is just shot. I didn’t really have anything in particular planned but there is an ever-present to do list I could have worked on; sadly those tasks require brain power and I currently have none left. good(ish) news is that all but one thing we did today are things I’ve been begging him to finish doing and/or have been hearing him bitch about but never do. So I will be quite pleased not to deal with these things again. I love this idea in theory. But the idea of putting in any extra effort related to him, even if it’s to be a petty bitch, just gives me fucking hives right now
  3. So he said “thank you” more than once and it almost sounded sincere but each time it was accompanied by some variation of “you shouldn’t have to do all this for me/I should be able to do this myself” and as far as I’m concerned that immediately negates the sentiment. I didn’t get to call him out on it directly because I’m currently brain dead, but I did say “I don’t want to hear it, if you want to fix things find a therapist.” Then he got all defensive because the mental health department of the clinic our doctors are at has called a couple times to see if he’s still interested in therapy but no one’s gotten back to him after he says yes, so it’s not his fault. he had a virtual appointment with his doctor yesterday and just now he said something about how he meant to ask her if “those computer ones you see all the time” were any good and “my daughter does that, are they any better than seeing a real person” and I just fucking…. I can’t. Like I get maybe not wanting to ask me about therapy because I’m his daughter and that’s weird or something idfk (despite having no issues dumping his problems on me directly) but holy shit you’re so fucking dumb. He started spouting some other bullshit and I told him to stop talking and go run the errands he was about to do. Not entertaining any more of your shit, thanks. (Did i mention one of the things I helped him with today was claiming my mother’s pension, because the supermarket is a union store? And said pension comes out to $63.50 in this case? I lost track of how many times I asked him if it was even worth bothering with it but noooo, he has to get anything and everything he [feels he] is entitled to. I might kill him myself tbh.)
  4. Dear diary, today after helping my father complete more than half a dozen tasks and instructing him to do others while I worked on things, I told him “you better hope you die before I move out or you’re screwed.” he didn’t really appreciate that. #sorrynotsorry
  5. well fucking done. I hope someone pulls their head out of their ass now.
  6. If you have a ton of stuff to shred, you can take it to Staples and they charge $1/pound to just shove it in their bulk shredding bin. My shredder is a piece of garbage and not having to deal with it saved my sanity.
  7. Okay I’m moving to Germany and y’all can nominate me on Queer Eye there because I love these people and want to be friends with them.
  8. Aaaaand the Uber eats guy brought me someone else’s order full of shit I won’t eat so that’s awesome. it’s not even Monday today.
  9. Started to clean my room, got distracted by some bullshit outside. Attempted to change my sheets, boobcat parked himself on the bed immediately. Decide to take a shower, my father comes home while I’m getting everything together that I need. Clearly some god doesn’t want me to do anything today. It’s 7pm, I have a headache, my father is in some depressed miserable mood that he’s determined to spread around, and nothing has gone right for me. I have to order groceries and I really fucking don’t even want to think about it. Blahhhhh.
  10. Based on what I know of people’s ages and locations here I don’t know that anyone is immediately directly affected by this fucking Handmaid’s Tale LARP (obviously we’re all screwed in the long term), but: friendly reminder I live in Massachusetts where it’s still legal to do whatever the fuck you want with your own uterus. If anybody ever needs to make a trip here, or knows someone who does, I will help in any way I can.
  11. okay you can't just drop that fact in my thread and not elaborate on it.
  12. It’s hot. I am bored. But I don’t want to do anything because it’s hot. And I’m kinda pissed my father ignored me when I was pushing for him to update the electrical system in the entire house instead of just fixing one or two things at a time, because if he had then there could be an AC in every room. Instead we’re stuck with the pre-1986 wiring that trips circuits if you even look at two appliances at once. i want to be productive. I don’t just want to sit around all day. But that requires energy.
  13. not religious either but yeah it’s a different experience being there. That Midnight mass sounds amazing and I am jealous. I’ve def mentioned it a couple times because obsession lol. And yes, that’s the one I made a terrible (in retrospect; it was accurate but not well done at all) translation of for my friend. Man, if I put that much effort into necessary things I’d be fucking dangerous. that’s a better question for @Severine if only because Canada. My main exposure to quebecois has been Disney songs, so there’s not a huge difference - accents tend to disappear when singing and there’s no slang. I did watch a video before of random people talking about something with the captions on and I could still barely follow because things were fairly different. The only thing I know for sure is the accent is very different from France. De rien also I love that you looked up X-ray in a bunch of languages.
  14. Let this conversation serve as a warning to everyone else: if you engage me on french or musicals I might not ever shut up. unless you mention Colm Wilkinson, because that I will ignore.
  15. I've never read it but I do remember watching the Disney version at some point like 10 years ago and going "yeah that character is consistent." Now I feel icky just thinking about it lol. also, since I'm posting French videos, you should watch this too if you haven't already. (same disclaimer if anyone else is interested, can't vouch for the subtitles). This is the one I went to see. Well, the 20th (?) anniversary version that had made some changes, but still. My introverted, anxiety-riddled ass waited at the stage door to get autographs and photos and looking back I don't even know how I managed it. But some of them asked who to make it out to and when I said my name they were like o_O and I was like "yeah I'm American" and they were like WHOA. Man now I'm excited about it all over again now that I'm reminiscing. and since you mentioned the Disney movie, I fucking love the French Canadian version of God Help the Outcasts. The France French version is fucking stupid as hell, it's so weird to me how different they are.
  16. Oh sure. It’s just funny without context. “yeah that time I flew from Africa to Paris to see a musical for shits and giggles” Notre Dame de Paris. And actually now that I’m writing about it I’m thinking maybe it’s good I’m not going. I get pissed off in Act 2 because Frollo is such a sleazy Nice Guy. And the actor from the video here is reprising his role so I’d probably get extra pissed. #fleaproblems fair warning to anyone interested, I think the subtitles are a bit wonky. Been a while since I watched it.
  17. Okay what were my goals again? - cats have been fed every day. - have had my water every day when I wake up, except Thursday because I didn’t plan on a scavenger hunt for my father’s medicine the second I got woken up - pigeon pose not happening still. Reflux angry. I’ve been doing various leg exercises at random moments which isn’t quite the same but it’s something. - purging things daily is a go. - have not used prescription toothpaste. Three separate days I’ve brought it into the bathroom with me but muscle memory meant I’d also grabbed my regular toothpaste and used it before realizing. Womp.
  18. uggggggggh. A French musical I love will be doing shows in NYC for 10 days in July and I'm kinda bummed that going isn't even an option. Like it was significantly cheaper for me to fly round trip from Morocco and spend 3 days in Paris to see my other favorite French musical than it is to go from here to New York. That last sentence makes me sound like some kind of privileged dickhead. anyway. Honestly even if I had the money to spend on a trip to New York I'm not sure I would anyway. Just having a moment of fomo right now. And also, I miss French things but I also don't have the attention span to watch Netflix in French or anything. Silly nerd.
  19. My father took a shower at 7pm, shaved, then changed into black jeans and a polo. Because I’m an asshole I asked if he “had a hot date or something.” He said “I wish.” gross. i know I set myself up for that but still.
  20. Uggggggh I feel this. Any time I announced I was changing some dietary habit (quitting coffee, no sweets at home, whatever) my mother would suddenly buy me those exact things all. the. time. Because she “felt bad” that I wasn’t having them. Our respective issues aren’t entirely the same, but I can absolutely sympathize with the overbearing parent situation. Sending you positive vibes.
  21. You know who else can eat a bag of dicks? The Supreme Court. Fuck that shit.
  22. Oh hey, it’s 7:45am and I haven’t slept yet. Yay! Combination of my brother fucking up my life just by existing and my cats being cats at the worst possible time. I love them but jfc. Just the cats, my brother is not included in that love. He can eat a bag of dicks.
  23. I did coconut oil and it was weird but not overwhelmingly coconutty. Olive oil didn’t occur to me so I guess now I have to try it. I used to be able to manage it when it popped up in videos. God knows how it will turn out now. I’ve always been pretty flexible regardless of size so I’m half expecting to go harder than I should and further break myself in the process. huh. I didn’t realize that was an option. I’ve looked at their menus for the next couple of weeks and it seems doable. And yeah we aren’t going to talk about how much I spend on mediocre delivery. Gonna discuss it with my nutritionist on Monday and go from there. Thanks.
  24. I’m pretty sure my father went out to a car show which means now would be a great time to cook something since I’ll be alone for several hours, and also I’m so fucking tired of ordering takeout from all the same places, but the drama earlier today has ruined any ambition I may have had. He had a full-on for over an hour. Cursing at the top of his lungs, slamming cabinet doors, throwing things, stomping around, the works. Snapped at me when I tried figuring out what was happening. (He uses 4 different prescription eye drops for glaucoma, refilled the wrong one yesterday but didn’t realize til he paid $55 to pick it up, couldn’t refill the new one at CVS because it was too soon, couldn’t find the new bottle he was supposed to have here already.) Even after I found it he took like ten minutes to calm down and even said he hoped he didn’t have a heart attack. (Idk, maybe not losing your goddamn mind over the smallest things would help?) I'm bummed. I did have a fleeting thought earlier that maybe I could make someone. But the stove is piled high with dirty pans and also trash? Because the best place to put your used tea bags and associated refuse is the stovetop and not the trash barrel two feet away? And I just can’t manage clearing a space to cook something, then actually cooking something, on the like half a spoon I have left for the day. It’s just not happening. I still haven’t successfully done pigeon pose yet. Haven’t heard back from the endo but I didn’t proactively step back down to 1500mg from the 2000mg yesterday and things seem to be improving. Not totally back to normal and still way too acidic, but better than I’d been after taking the 2000mg for 10 days. If I don’t hear from her I’ll stay at this level for like a month and then maybe step it back up. i got a new chair that was delivered yesterday and I need to put it together and fuck me I don’t want to. I want somewhere to sit but carrying it up and doing all that? Nah. oh and also my knee is back to its old bullshit. I’m pretty sure the July 14 5k I registered for isn’t fucking happening. Urrrrrrgh.
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