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About Blackstroke

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  • Birthday 03/16/1990

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    Kansas City
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  1. This just in: I SURVIVED FINALS without have to retake anything! (Actually, my last one which I wasn't sure on, I did way better than I though) I have busted my hindquarters the last 3+ weeks and stayed afloat. In the last 3 weeks, I have been up by 4am every day except for 2 or 3 days. To get extra undistracted study time. Coffee is my new best friend. I haven't exercised but we've eaten okay. I've been at a standard 6 hours of sleep every night, which is my absolute minimum. I have a buddy at school who does bodybuilding/physique contests. We are kinda bros. It's cool.
  2. Master Windu would probably destroy muay thai. He'd be the exception though, not the rule
  3. Update: I'm doing very well this challenge! I've been staying very busy and trying new strategies for studying. Finals are right around the corner (after turkey day break). --- Actual organization hasn't been so effective, but it definitely hasn't gotten worse. What I have been doing is trying to study more in depth and more structured. I've been utilizing the Pomodoro strategy (http://tomato-timer.com/) and prioritizing what to study based on 80/20 system as well. I haven't perfected it by any means, but have been doing much better. Now as long as I stay ahead of everything my stress level is low... I've tried to go away from isolation from my fellow classmates a bit, one friend in particular (does that scream "introvert" or what?). We have a surprising amount in common and have similar senses of humor. He competes in amateur physique competitions, and is pretty cool all around. We have eaten quite a bit better the last few weeks. In addition to the tea I mentioned in my first post, I have also acquired a Celestial Seasonings box of "Morning Thunder". Umm yeah, the one with the buffalo on the front. It has some caffeine, but still less than any coffee I would drink. I like strong full flavored tea if it is black tea and as long as I don't over-steep this, its excellent --- Since I am on a little break this weekend, I got to spend more time with my wife and son the last few days. It has been wonderful. I was feeling a bit stressed yesterday about people in our house and all of the setup. Well... my son has been having lots of trouble with teething and we haven't been able to get him to stay down for naps. It makes my wife a little crazy because as a SAHM she doesn't feel like she gets anything done. (And she, ladies and gents, is a do-er!) The trick has been that he will usually stay asleep much longer if someone holds him. So I had the opportunity to hold him in a quiet dark room for about 90 minutes just reading about anything I wanted to on my phone, without having to think about school or homework or set up. I got snuggle time in, and it was so quiet! My wife was delighted to get to do her decorating too! Thats all for now. I don't know if I will reply much here as I will be pushing hard to study for finals.
  4. Hey, Assassins! Here for this challenge. I'm going to try some different things for this challenge. I want to make it really easy to not fall out on this one. I'm digging into some personal growth work I've needed. I've been looking at it as having to come out of a whole I've dug, but a lot of it has not been totally my fault and a lot of it has to do with growing up. I will not feel shame or allow self-hatred to continue to grow. Purpose: I see a Sage as someone who uses wisdom and knowledge to grow and keep themselves alive. They move towards preserving their life and being at peace with themselves so they may love others well. This doesn't seem very assassin-like in name only. But just as we are called as assassins to master our physical bodies through manipulation, willpower, and difficult bodyweight movements, we should be the masters of our emotions. Maybe not by becoming a pacifist or rejecting anger and fear, but not letting these things rule us and hurt others. (someone read up on Mace Windu!) -------------------Explanations------------------- 1. I've been struggling with a lot of stuff lately that hasn't really affected me before, or I haven't noticed. I've always been a pretty happy and positive person, getting by on just what I need and taking care of myself. I've always been 'safe', often allowing myself to coast when I know I'll get through, and sort of turning myself off when I perceive that I am not needed. But: I've been struggling with school this trimester, though the past 2 or 3 weeks have been very excellent and successful. I had to work my butt off to get back to where I need to be. I've recognized distractions and procrastination and have looked to correct them. My motivation for correcting them is the fact that 1. I feel like crap if I don't try hard. and 2. My wife and son need me. If I'm not trying to be my best all around, my family life suffers. I have responsibilities to others besides myself. I'm not saying I haven't been doing what needs to be done, but doing just enough for survival doesn't work, especially in growing relationships. 2. Been dealing with a lot of anger/anxiety stuff. My wife and I have had frivolous arguments that we haven't had before, and nearly every one has come down to one of us being stubborn, being mad at other life circumstances, tired, or not listening to each other and getting defensive. We realize by the end every time that its directly correlated to something else. A. I recognize a lot of fear I've allowed to grow in me. Fear of failure in school, fear of not providing for my family, fear of my son getting hurt -especially when I am on watch. Fear of losing my family.Fear of too many people in a store, afraid of fireworks on the Fourth of July while out with friends. Much of it is irrational fear. B. I recognize a lot of anger and judgement I've cast over others. Many times unfair judgement stems from self-hatred. Angry at my wife for something that isn't a big deal and that isn't even her fault. Note: I worked a job last year for about 4 months. It was in a period of time we had no idea where our next months rent would come from. I wasn't good at the job, and hated every second of it. Afraid to go to work. But it was all I could find even though I have a Bachelors Degree in computer programming. It was 4 months of hell which I feel is what started a lot of the negative emotions. I would come home and sit on the couch and eat and push myself as far from reality as possible. I was so emotionally drained that everything would upset me. I'd bring my failures from work into my home life and feel like a failure in everything else. 3. We have been lazy with food and I've been paying for it. Dairy, Carbs, Processed food, too much caffeine. I have found that a certain way of brewing coffee has caused my heart to race and makes me feel crazy for hours after. --------------------------------------------------------- This challenge I am taking a break from physical fitness to work on emotional and mental fitness. This challenge will be graded mostly in a subjective manner. I will be working towards SELF-HEALING, BUILDING COURAGE, and EMPOWERING MY MIND. 1. Prioritize and Organize: A. Schedule my life in time increments like I have before B. Prioritize what is important and pursue that first C. Make ALL the lists D. Have a daily to-do list. Not sure where I will go with this one yet, but I have currently made one for what I could do with my car in the realm of maintanence. E. Eliminate the distractions that get in the way of my studies, my family time, or pursuing interests. F. Keep a notebook near me to record stray thoughts or important thoughts. G. Find an end-game 2. Self-help A. Positive uplifting thoughts B. Positive imagery C. Pursuing inspiration (TEDtalks?) D. meditation --- Meditation to be mulled over for a bit. I feel that some purposeful introspective time to release negative emotion is important. Journaling, who knows? 3. Eat better! A. Say no to junk food B. Meal Plan C. Little/No caffeine --> The exception here if I am up early to study. D. Drink more water! E. Drink more tea! --> Thanks to Cobaltsword for some friendly conversation on favorite teas, I've picked up some pretty good quality loose leaf organic rooibos tea infused with blueberry and schnozberry (schisandra berries). Its very good and smells even better. Ps. I'm going to be working really hard to rock the rest of the trimester before christmas time. I'm recognize that when I study several days in a row very efficiently, I feel like I can absorb things more easily. I want to call this BEAST MODE but I'm sure its a real psychological thing. PPs. I read an article today stating meditation may actually affect you on a cellular level. Mind-Body connection.
  5. Subbed ----Will post a challenge this weekend. Several tests last week and 3 big ones this week. Tomorrows is HUGE! Get after it!
  6. Its been a few days! This week I didn't do a great job of working out, but I've been working through some stuff. Had a tough test and while I didn't rock it, I did well enough to be happy with the score. Been dealing with some anxiety/anger stuff the last few months. No idea what has caused it, but I definitely don't have equilibrium. Looking into some meditation stuff as well as essential oils. Part of the problem is when I drink too much coffee the anxiety gets stimulated. I'm also an introvert and a bit of a perfectionist. So being around too many people for too long (introvert) + not feeling like I have studied enough (perfectionist) + who knows what else = crazy anxiety. 3 tests this next week. If I study well (get off all social media, have no distractions) I will do pretty good. If not, this could be a tough week. Ugh.
  7. What? Let me get this straight, you can't gain muscle doing exercises that are easier than a full pushup?
  8. Crazy weekend! Took two very long walks with hills with my son this weekend and had his birthday. Didn't eat too much at the party either Got a new (refurbished) 2012 MacBook Pro. Can now watch movies to relax after our busy weekend, my wife and I are watching the new captain America while the little guy sleeps
  9. Got my (short) workout in today!
  10. Short update: I read my first post on this page. It seems a bit sad. I feel better and have for a few days. More positivity, less negativity. I've done quite well staying on task with school stuff lately. To get my little dose of video games in, I've just watched a little bit of gameplay (AC, Diablo 3) and read a little lore. Been doing it basically during breaks, this is improving. ////////// Does anyone else play mmos or role playing games and either do the analysis or find another persons analysis to optimize your characters gear, damage output, etc? I do. ////////// Should get a few grades back soon, both on tests I felt very confident on had a test last week... A very tough lab test... And did quite well on it. Planning to exercise this afternoon fairly soon actually. Just a short one, but It is part of the building! EDIT: 3 A's on those tests, 2 of them lab tests and 1 a lecture test. That's a good feeling.
  11. Tiny update: Sunday I was quite efficient with my study time, except for a 40 minute period of time. This was an improvement for me recently. The test that was today went very well. I for sure got a B, maybe an A. The test was in my Histology class, on identifying connective tissue types, types of cells, and cell organelles just by seeing. I am pretty pleased with my perceived difficulty as it is supposed to be one of the most difficult tests we take in the class!\ Today was that test. In addition to that, I told myself to start slowly and build up until the next challenge. In order to do this, I completed do the BBWW posted on the main NF website. I wanted to just do some kind of workout. It seemed the best starting point as it was all laid out for me. So I did the exact workout one time (using a 20 lb kettlebell instead of a milk jug). It is checked off on my list, and I am okay with saying I accomplished today's workout goal. Nailed it. Studying for another test for tomorrow and listening to AC4 soundtrack. My norm is the Skyrim theme on repeat, but I have a really hard time reading text while listening to music with any words... even if they are in dragon speech. My wife is making bacon-wrapped meatballs. You jelly? //PS: Been thinking about the next challenge, and I think I want to do it. I plan to do some sort of discipline goal, though it might be subjective aka how I perceived my study time, etc. This will be in addition to workouts, food, school, etc. My little helper/imagery today was the Monk class from Diablo III. Maybe not so much for the martial arts of our rebellion monks, but for the discipline and strength in the ideals of the passion and philosophy of monks. I imagined a little jedi knight in there too.// NOTE: This is NOT to say the Assassin's have none of these qualities. Just looking at some imagery
  12. It really is awesome!!! Our dog got to run around back there a few times in the last 24 hours, he is so happy! He found something and started digging holes and rooting around.
  13. Short update: Still haven't worked out. But I did get a LOT of exercise in today... Our house manager (basically our landlord) was supposed to take care of fallen tree limbs and take trash (old rugs and towels, plastic tubes, old tire, etc) that were in the back yard when we moved in in March. Let's just say very few of the house maintanence things he is supposed to do have yet to get done... 7 months later. So we haven't been mowing, weeding, or maintaining our backyard at all. Fast forward to now, and we have 10 foot weeds and thick grass and sticks... An overgrown nasty forest in our yard. We are having our sons first birthday party next weekend and decided to start cleaning it last weekend. We wacked all the weeds and made limb piles last weekend... And today worked some more. But it was going to take hours and hours and maybe still not get done. I took a chance today and instead of raking ( in my opinion the worst chore there is) mowed it in hopes we could mulch everything in 5 or 6 hours instead of rake, piles stuff, then mow... 4-5 hours of non stop mowing and I won. I won it all. It looks amazing! I'm estimating close to 10 miles of walking or more. HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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