TheGreyJedi-Ranger

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About TheGreyJedi-Ranger

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    Antagonist
  • Birthday 02/07/1995

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    Lynchburg, VA, USA

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    ranger

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  1. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    Thanks guys. Gonna post a long, frustrated rant below in the spoiler so if you're not interested in a pissed off rant about the many woes about living in my body, please skip.
  2. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    I am existing still. I'm managing to mostly not freak out and eat like an idiot. I'm still working out twice a week. I have cabin fever AF right now but have nowhere to go because everything costs money. Today's mood is angry and bitchy for Reasons(tm). I'm secluding myself so that I don't dispense that mood on those around me. I had a burrito bowl for lunch and right on schedule (around 2-3 hours later) I'm starving again so I'm gonna figure out WTF I'm going to have for a snack and then idk probs flop around the house until I work out this evening.
  3. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    It's frustrating but it is what it is. I'm trying to cope well but its iffy. Depends on the day. And yeah. Doggie for playtime and kitten for cuddles Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
  4. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    I have no idea. He never followed up about it that I'm aware of. He left that job, but not until literally the very end of the month. His last day was the 30th of June or something. Me too! To a point. Part of me regrets it because we'd have a good bit more money without this month's costs of my breakfast that morning (like $5-8), ticket cost ($60+), tee shirt souvenir($22), and my dinner(like $25 of the bill or so?) that night afterwards. But I'm trying not to feel that way because it's not constructive. Or at least not let that feeling control me. This is where I must regretfully tell you that Warped is on its farewell tour but you should check out the list of artists on the site for this year's tour and look into that sort of music. I have zero clue. None. His pay stubs are all digital and I don't know his password or login info for the site where they'd have it or I'd have checked myself. He never followed up about it as far as I know, or if he did he didn't tell me about it. ~~ Today's a little better than yesterday. I'm still bluesy but I'm feeling less frustrated and sad than I was yesterday. I'm trying to focus on doing what I can actually do and fixing what I can actually fix. I did work out yesterday and actually got a full workout in. I thought I was going to end up having to do a modified one because I was tired but it all worked out pretty well
  5. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    I wish. We have two years on our lease so any migrating is going to have to wait a while. :/ That's promising! Me too. It's hard. He's miserable, and I kinda suck emotions out of people I kinda am too from that on top of being lonely AF with him being either sleeping or gone all the time. The whole sleeping in the bed thing by myself would be 100% impossible without the aid of melatonin. Yaaaaaay meds keeping me from tossing and turning in the empty bed for hours. You and me both :/ CONCERT FESTIVAL THING FOR THE PUNK ROCK METAL SCENE (see website). I saw the Ice Nine Kills and Simple Plan shows, Mr. Right was interested in MyChildren MyBride and a couple of others. We missed Bowling for Soup but we didn't wanna stay until 8pm with an hour drive back to his parent's house to get the dog and a 3 hr drive back to our cozy house. He got a MCMB tee shirt with Princess Mononoke on it and it's BADASS. I have a new tie-dye To Write Love on Her Arms shirt that says "better days are ahead." It looks like a beach vacation tee shirt and I love it. ~~~~ But also I did the grocery shopping and fuuuuuuucccckkkkk I hate money. Mr. Right's check was like $200 less than usual and I swear just that little bit more could have made life SO MUCH EASIER DAMNIT. But no, we're gonna be scrounging AF for the rest of the month and I am low key scared and high key STRESS BALLS. But we have space on both credit cards if we really need to get anything food or gas wise. I just don't wanna max out the cards. Like REALLY don't wanna max out the cards.
  6. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    It has made life a lot easier for the end of the month. 2 meals for 2 people at around $10. That's cheaper than everything except ramen. I'll be getting my box on Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. So far it's not my favorite thing. He left around 5pm yesterday and the only reason I saw his non-sleeping face at all was due to a 7am need for my bathroom. He's still sleeping and probs will be for most of the rest of the day. He's already told me that this new place is awful and that he's not working there any longer than he has to. I'm super stoked about the Hello Fresh, a little nervous about the duck ~~~~ Decided to work out today instead of yesterday due to leftover exhaustion from Warped Tour. Forgot to stretch. I'm 100% a menace about remembering to stretch on my non workout days Gonna keep working and trying to remember! Yesterday was moderately productive aside from ending up putting off a bunch of stuff until today because time and effort. I tried to balance it by doing some more of today's tasks and it seems to have worked out okay. Today's Goals - Get groceries - Record a video for my Boxycharm unboxing - Work out - Finish work stuff for the week - Do my bible/prayer/devotional time - Dust the cat and dog for fleas with the diatomaceous earth - Cook a dinner - Get the laundry done after Mr. Right wakes up Have a great Saturday!
  7. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    I knowwwwww <3 <3 She's precious and I love her so much. She's finally accustomed to our house and is happy to wander around doing cat things. I did end up doing the coffee thing but decaf because I wanted to sleep Tuesday night. Thank you!! It went well, I got more work done and then we went on our trip to visit family and go to our concert on Thursday. (thanks for telling me because I get some weird accts that follow me so if I don't take the time to look at an acct I may never follow back) ~~~ Happy Friday everyone! I'm back in my house and being slightly sad b/c Mr. Right starts his night shifts tonight and will be on those for the foreseeable future. So I'll see a lot less of him. But my kitten is cheering me up with her enthusiastic hunting of a balled up receipt. I've got a million and one things to do today for sure, and tomorrow as well. I've gotta get a grocery list together, and also do a couple of hours of work stuff. Also updating my BuJo to get next week's weekly in there. I'm thinking about working out today. I was at Warped Tour yesterday and I am EXHAUSTED(tm) I won't really have much time either today or tomorrow for exercise because I can only work out after Mr. Right leaves for work (because plank jacks rattle the entire bloody house). But I'm going to try to do so either today or tomorrow. Goal is this evening for help with sleeping since I slept in late. We didn't get home until after 2am and it was Not Fun. OH. GuYS. I am trying Hello Fresh this week. I was super curious and I found a coupon for $35 for a week so we get food for 2 people for 2 meals for $5. Yes, $5. We got lemon pepper steak with some kind of potato thing and something involving cooking DUCK. That was Mr. Right's suggestion so I was like okey-day sounds like an adventure. This week's foods weren't fabulous but I'm super stoked to try new stuff. But yeah. I'm gonna vacate this site and go make my coffee and sit for a while catching up with my Youtube channels. Also eating some lunch sounds like a good idea. Check in with you guys later!
  8. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    shadri :: the final countdown

    Way to be and do! It takes time for things to get easier again. That's what I'm dealing with right now so I know your pain.
  9. TheGreyJedi-Ranger

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    Hello everyone, it is I, the elusive Jedi who is only sometimes around. As I sat down to figure out my goals for this challenge it really struck me that my challenges have been super lackluster and high on the struggle-bus factor recently. Now, to be fair, life in general has been super lackluster and high on the struggle-bus factor for me recently. But instead of fighting back and trying to be stronger, I've just been rolling over and taking it. Rolling over and taking it isn't really the Jedi Way. The Grey Jedi are the guardians of balance. But I've been struggling to find balance. I swing back and forth like a pendulum between my own darkness and light. I have lost that place of peace and serenity between my lightness and darkness. Not to say that life is intended to be lived on a single thin line between two extremes. It's normal to swing back and forth somewhat. That's life, that's how it works. But there is a place of average and a place of peace right there in the middle that I'm constantly overshooting in one direction or another. So for my challenge this time around, I'm going to focus on some goals that will allow me to find my balance again. There is Passion... This goal is for remembering to indulge my passions. Find and take time for things that bring me conscious joy. Every day I want to take some time for the things I'm passionate about. Now that can be makeup (and my blog/Youtube Channel), writing, art, TV shows, etc. This is where I make sure that I take time for myself. ...Yet Peace This goal is where I take the time to do things that I don't always want to do or feel passionate about, but need to do for my mental, emotional, and physical health. This includes working out 2x each week since I can no longer go for my regular walks, keeping my food journal, planning and cooking meals, going outside or leaving the house, etc. (Sarcastic Obi-Wan is my spirit animal) There is Serenity... I need to have my quiet time every day. I haven't been doing it at all lately, and my mental health is suffering for it. Quiet time includes: some time in my Bible, some work on my book that I'm reading (Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis) and some time spent in quiet prayer. ...Yet Emotion This is one of the less quantitative goals. This one is the one where I allow myself to actually feel my feelings rather than hiding them away. This also is a goal that reminds me not to catastrophize when things go wrong as I'm often guilty of doing. Emotions are important and must be felt but they must not overwhelm me. Chaos... I need to stop overscheduling my life. Just allowing things to happen as they happen and going with the flow. Not over planning myself. Helping my mind become more flexible. This also is the goal wherein I don't allow myself to get overwhelmed with guilt when things don't always go to plan. If the dishes don't get done because I made the conscious decision to be more concerned about getting sleep or something similar, remembering that taking care of myself is important. ...Yet Order In which I keep my sleep schedule straightened out so that I don't lose all of my daylight eternally. I keep screwing my sleep schedule up and that's something that's super important. I'm also going to actually track my goals this time in my Bullet Journal. Also keep up with my to-do lists. Keep the Balance Life is about balance. Grey Jedi are about balance. I've lost my balance and would like to bring it back. I'm going to keep track of my mood over the next challenge a bit better so that I can see how I'm doing with my balance keeping. May the Force be with you. Always.