RedPandaOne

Alright, time for a more in depth update. Picked up my medicine last week. Went to take it Thursday and realized that there were no needles with the pens. Texted my friend who is diabetic and asked where she bought her needles and she told me that I would need a prescription. After she said that, I did remember the doctor saying I would need to get one. I thought she was going to put in the order, but apparently not. I keep on forgetting to stop by CVS to see if they can put in the request. I also got two letters from my health insurance/CVS, one saying that I denied my medication and then the other saying that I was approved. I have no idea what is going on. I'm going to stop tomorrow with both letters and see what's up. I'm curious if that's the reason why I wasn't given needles. I was hoping to get in exercise either Sunday or yesterday. However, I was thwarted. My friends and I went to Dave and Busters on Sunday. I was like "Sweet! I can do Dance Dance Revolution with them and get some exercise in!" However, another kid had the same idea. He was on the machine the entire 3 hours we were there. He had a gallon of water and a sweat towel. His shirt was soaked when we got there, so you knew he had been at it for awhile. I get it, it's great exercise, but please don't hog the machine! My friend was getting really upset, she really wanted to use it. I get home about 6pm (had spent the weekend at my parents), and walk in to a cold apartment. Whatever, I turn the heat up from 62 to 68. Two hours later and I'm still freezing, the heat never kicked in, it was 58 in the apartment. Went down to the basement (after I needed to change back into clothes I can go outside in, because no inside access), and hit the restart switch on the furnace. And then the email to the landlord letting him know the issue was never fixed. I had a good 3 week run. The furnace shut off again about 9:30pm and never turned back on overnight. I hit reset when I left for work yesterday, but when my roommate woke up it was off again. So, I never worked out Sunday because it was too damn cold (excuse!). When I got home yesterday, after I cancelled my plans to go to trivia with friends, the oil company had a lady out fixing it. I'm glad she was still there when I got home so I could talk to her. She was there for about half an hour, and knowing that I needed to lock up after her, I didn't change and work out. I didn't know how much longer she was going to be there. She said that there was a lot of dirt and dust, which was probably blocking the sensor light, tricking it into thinking it needed to be shut off for safety reasons. I am happy to say we have had working heat for 12 hours now, and it works super well! And!! I even slept the whole night without getting super congested!! It was bad, I would wake up in the middle of the night and have to sneeze and blow my nose for 10 minutes trying to clear it. And not quiet sneezes, but rock my whole body loud sneezes. Nope! None of that! So I'm wondering if before it was blowing all that dirt and crap into my bedroom and causing that. So, no work out yesterday because by the time she left I had lost all motivation. Excuse after excuse. But that's been my life for the past week-ish.

Short post before I go to bed. Not sure how accurate tracking is today with lunch, but I'm dealing. Still no exercise - will elaborate more tomorrow when I have access to full keyboard and not phone.

Yea, my coffee table was covered. This was my hand afterwards

I ended up combing today's and tomorrow's lunches so I would have both more sausage and vegetables. The extra couscous went in too, but I didn't actually eat all of it. I had a feeling last night that the reason why I'm hungry is because it's been mostly couscous and not enough meat/veggie. I got full while eating, but I could eat something right now. But it may just be because now my body is expecting me to eat again since it has the last couple of days. Supposedly the new medicine is supposed to help with this? I'll pack a heavy protein lunch tomorrow since now I have nothing prepared.

Good morning my fellow nerds! I did not mean to take such an extended break from posting. So let's get some catch up: Sunday: food prepped for the week. Decided to make Italian sausage with bell peppers and couscous. Got it evenly split up for 5 days. Monday: I was good throughout the day. Didn't snack. And then evening hit. I had dinner of tuna with crackers and a protein shake. But then I was still hungry. I tried to wait it out. Went and took a shower. By the time I was out of the shower, I wasn't hungry, but because I had decided I was going to eat after I was out, I did it anyway. Ended up having an apple with peanut butter, but then sat there after the apple was done and ate peanut butter straight from the jar. *sigh* Tuesday: Breakfast - good. Lunch - good. Was still hungry so ate one granola/protein bar. Got to trivia and ended up having mozzarella sticks, tuna sandwich, handful of the fries that came with it, and two pepsi's. *double sigh* Wednesday: Breakfast - good. Lunch - good. Still hungry after lunch so I had a nutrigran bar. Dinner was a grilled cheese sandwich and some tortilla chips. Then ate the last two mini bags of Halloween skittles that were left. So, not as bad as previous nights, but still not good. I did get my medicine yesterday, too, after work. I'm not looking forward to seeing how nauseous I get (side effect). I haven't taken it yet, because I can't figure out what time I should take it. I was told once a day - doesn't need to be on an empty or full stomach. Just needs to be at the same time every day. So I thought, well, do it in the morning as part of my routine. But that will only work M-F. Saturday and Sunday I'm asleep until 9/10, possibly 11 if I'm super tired. That would be at least 2-3 hours later than normal. So I'm thinking maybe after work, like around 6pm? That way, if it's a Tuesday I'd only be roughly a half hour late since I get to the restaurant anytime between 6/6:30. And same for when I am at my parents for the weekend. The only hitch is that I need to remember to bring it with me on Tuesdays. There's a good chance of me forgetting it. I'll figure it out. Oh, yea, and no exercise so far. I spent last night trying to do a paint with diamond, but the green section had too many different shades of green that looked too similar in pattern. So I switched to watching youtube videos of different soft pastel projects I could do. I ended up doing one, not sure if I like it. But it's also been......15 years since I've used pastels, and they weren't even my preferred choice back then. I want to try oil pastels, but need to get some.

I'm glad she was understanding! And whoo! for having a plan! You've got this! You may not be walking much, but packing takes a lot of energy.

Cleaning counts as exercise, right? Just vacuumed...in a sweatshirt. Slightly labored breathing and running warm. Oh, did I mention that I also vacuumed the couch and repositioned it a bit? It's a light couch with an adjustable chase. But that also required moving my coffee table too. Earlier today I started phase 1 of cleaning my bedroom. Two bags of trash later, I can now walk better between my bed and dresser. Phase 2 will be putting away clothes. Tomorrow will be several flights of stairs as I bring my suitcase and Halloween box into my storage unit in the basement. And then either do laundry in the basement or take it to a laundromat. And the grocery shopping I forgot to do yesterday. I did track calories yesterday. Had another day that during daylight I was fine, but once I got home I was just constantly hungry. It's like once it goes dark my body goes into feeding mode or something. Stupid PMS (I'm still assuming it is associated). EDIT: helps if you post the correct days calories

My food from yesterday

Thanks for posting the link for the alarm. I was curious as to what that type of alarm was. Did you make the call? How'd it go? Will be lurking your progress

PMS hit me hard yesterday. Watched Grey's Anatomy last night and bawled like a baby at the end. It was sad, but not the level of crying I had. Wow. I had woken up from a very sad dream yesterday morning too (dreamt the series finale of Supernatural), so I was just feeling overall blue. Yesterday's post just adds to it. So, not anorexic, but don't have the healthiest relationship with food. Doctor is actually putting me on weight loss medication. We back and forth about two different kinds, overall, sadly, price won out. I went for the one that insurance is going to cover the most. Yes, my dad said awhile ago he would cover any of this, but I'm not sure that still applies after they paid for half my car. And I'm still living off of savings at the moment (which will hopefully change after the holidays and my trip and xmas presents are paid off). I did track food yesterday, and everything I tracked is actually what I ate. I made some slight changes, like in the morning I said I was going to have a protein shake for dinner, but ended up having tuna with chips. There was a small win. I was still hungry so instead of attacking the left over Halloween candy that was taunting me, I boiled up some eggs and had two instead. I was still hungry after that, but I just sat my butt on the couch and refused to go back into the kitchen. I was already at the upper end of my calories, but I was shy of hitting the protein goal of 80g per day. I'll post my screen shots in a different post. Going grocery shopping after work so I can better prepare food for next week and hopefully do a lot better.

So what I planned/tracked was different than what I actually ended up eating. Breakfast and lunch stayed the same. Dinner is where I changed. I was going to do a meal replacement. I ended up ordering a gyro, mozz sticks, had an apple cider donut, and two pieces of Halloween candy. Oops. PMS eating took over. I meet with the doctor tomorrow at the weight clinic. My weight has gone up again - part water retention for monthly timing, part I gained weight in Orlando despite my best efforts, and Halloween candy (zero trick or treaters and 4 bags of candy). I'm not gorging myself on candy. Two bags have actually been put in the freezer, I had opened the other two thinking we were going to get kids. I'm tempted to have her put me on the medication, but I feel like that's taking the easy road. I dunno. I'm just so frustrated. I'm not anorexic - purposely starving myself to be skinny. But I almost feel like I am, I need to eat so little just to make sure I don't gain weight. Anytime I eat more than 1200 a day I end up gaining weight, I feel like. I met up with a friend who moved to Florida a year or two ago in Epcot. She and my other friends were really enjoying the Food and Wine Festival, I was trying to stick to just eating main meals and not eating my way around the world - taking note on everything and only picking two-three items I wanted for lunch/dinner later. I had a bite or two from my friends things. But I was talking to my friend about my weight, and she was like "I hardly ever see you eat! Even when we went out, you didn't eat much". I have my moments, like last night. I dunno, maybe I do have a problem. I'll talk to her tomorrow about it. And that is my sad rant of the week.

I do really like Fitness Marshall on youtube. He's hilarious and I love his dance videos. It's just getting myself to be consistent with them and doing them after work so I dont bother the other apartments. Which would be my issue with Dance Dance too. I think Just Dance has little to no jumping? I'm really leaning towards Wii fit for the low impact/no jumping aspect. I think it's something I could do in the AM with low volume and not feel like I'm bothering my roommate/other apartments. I don't want to be *that* upstairs/next door neighbor.

Tuesdays are still my night out. Turns out my go to is a tuna salad sandwich. I might try to switch to the grilled chicken plate, but it's usually what I have for lunch so I didnt want it twice a day. But now that I might be switching to meal replacement (which I did for lunch yesterday), it should be okay.

I'm not sure you have asked that, or if you did I forgot. If I can get my PS2 back from my brother I do have Dance Dance Revolution, I found the pad for it hidden in the back of my closet at my parents house. My other option is to take the Wii from my mom and use the Wii Fit, but I need to check with her - I know she keeps on talking about getting back into that herself. Other than that, I'd have to get the motion sensor things for my PS3 to do Just Dance, which seems really fun. My brother and I watched people doing it at Pax East last year, and I ended up getting him that for his birthday for one of his systems.

Time got away from me, I forgot this started last week and not this week. Vacation hangover hit super hard. I'm still recovering. Spent 9 days in Orlando going to Disney and Universal with 3 friends. A lot of walking, not enough sleep. Flight home got delayed and didn't get in until after 1am, in bed around 2:30am, at work 9am. This past weekend I needed to be up for a chiro appointment and then a corn maze with friends. Saturday night I slept for 11 hours, and I'm still not feeling recovered. I need a weekend where I sit on the couch and do nothing. Anyway. This (shortened) challenge is going to very simple. 1. Track calories 2. Exercise at least once a week I'm going to get over my mental block of exercising. So, starting off slow again and going to try and do it just once a week. Then work my way up from there. If only I could afford a gym :(

It doesn't hurt to experiment, so I think I may give different beans a try. I really need to get better at posting in here. Though tomorrow will be the last day of the challenge for me. I'm off to Disney World and Universal on Saturday!!!!! I met again with the nutritionist last week. She was surprised that I hadn't lost any weight. We discussed medications a little bit more, but I'm still hesitant. We also talked about meal replacement. I had told her the couple times I tried with the shakes she gave me, I was back in the kitchen after an hour because I was hungry. She suggested having the shake and a piece of fruit. I've been trying that for the last couple mornings - mostly because I ran out of cereal and didn't want to open a box before vacation. I've been doing the shake and an apple with peanut butter. I've been good until lunch. Though I'm wondering if I make my own shakes again if they'd be more filling. Something to test when I get back. Have I exercised? Nope, and my lungs are paying for it. Have I moisturized and flossed? Yup, and my skin and teeth are loving it. Have I actually tracked protein and calories? Nope. I think next challenge I'm only going to have two goals: Exercise Track

Hey, you tried! That's more than I am doing. So I count it as a win.

I realized that I responded in my head and never actually here. I've never been a fan of beans to begin with. Not sure why. As for black beans, I assoicate them with black tar. I went to a Mexican place in Las Vegas once (it was at the Luxor). My dish included a side of (I think) black beans and it just looked like someone put a ladle of tar on my plate. And it tasted horrible. So now I just think of that when I think black beans. Wednesday night, I actually had Mexican with my parents and once again got a blob of black goo on my plate. Didn't touch it that night. Had to bring the food home because everything was too spicy for me (even the guacamole was spicy). When I had it for lunch again on Thursday I ate the black goo just because it helped cut back on the heat. It wasn't bad. Still no idea what it was. Does not look appealing at all. Why was I out with my parents Wednesday you (didn't) ask? Because I picked up my new car!!!!! So glad that is finally done! I didn't track my food at all last week so I have no idea how I did on my diet goals. I'd be shocked if I didn't meet protein on Friday because I had a protein shake, tuna, and roast chicken with green beans. Oh, and I had an apple with peanut butter for dessert. I've been doing pretty well with moisturizing. Did it last night after my shower. Also flossed this morning. Still no luck with the exercise. My friend is a Beachbody coach and apparently there is a 21 day jeans challenge starting today. Said I would do it, hopefully it will help with accountability. No idea what I'm supposed to be doing, though. I don't own any Beachbody stuff (and won't buy anything).

Oh, and I moisturized and flossed yesterday!

So, you're saying I could use this as another form of BC since I don't want children? Okay, that was a horrible joke. I should probably be concerned about my mercury levels no matter what. Thanks for those links. And yea, I'm not going to stop eating tuna, I'm with you on that. I'll just try to cut it back to once or twice a week maybe. I did learn yesterday that the Sweet and Spicy tuna pouch is way more spicy than sweet! I will not be buying that flavor again. And I'll try not to get a tuna salad sandwich at trivia tonight. Or maybe I should skip trivia since I've lost my debit card and I should limit exactly how much I put on my credit card... I've already alerted my bank. I lost it some point on Friday but didn't know until I went to pay for groceries last night. I'm just lucky no one found/used the card over the weekend!

I just get so sick of eggs. I meet with the nutrionist again soon, I'll ask her for some other ideas. The tuna isn't always canned, I mostly get the Sunkist pouch things. Still probably not that good to have every day. If I don't have a hard boiled egg, turkey, and cheese for dinner it's the tuna pouch. She lost me with black beans. I wonder if there's something else I could use. I used to have a gym membership. Back in the day when I was exercising 3-4x a week I was at the gym in the morning before work. I can't afford the gym right now. I have the treadmill at home, but it's still not usable. I guess I just haven't found the at-home exercise that inspires me to continue. It feels like a chore.

As I lie here in bed with all hope of going to bed early dashed, I figured I'd give some updates. Thursday I met my protein goal but not calories. Friday the reverse. It appears the days I dont have an egg are the days I dont meet it. But I cant have eggs every day! I need a good protein bar or something to snack on. And is it healthy to eat tuna every day? I want to say no and I may need to fix that. As far as moisturizing and flossing, I remember to do it, but never when I am in a position to do so. And then when I'm in the bathroom or bedroom I completely forget. I've added a post it note for at least moisturizing. Exercise, I still dont know what my block on that is. I have all intentions, it's planned into my day, and then I don't do it. I'm having a hard time planning for this week because I have no idea when I'm going to the dealership to pick up my car. It could be tomorrow it could be Wednesday. It could be in the morning, it could be in the evening. Hopefully they call be with an exact arrival date so I can figure out my week.

Nothing to report goal wise. I tried to be good yesterday. I packed my chicken and broccoli for lunch and threw in a tuna pouch for dinner knowing that I was meeting my dad after work to go to the dealership. I figured I would head there as soon as I got off and if I got there before my dad I would eat in the car. I didn't get to eat lunch until 2, and I found out that my mom was going to come up as well and we were going to go out for dinner. So I ended up eating the tuna pouch for lunch (and this reminds me the fork is still in my purse...). I knew if I ate the chicken I wouldn't be hungry for a restaurant meal. I don't know what we were thinking, but I think we all thought we'd be in and out in an hour. Nope. Got there at 6 and left at 8:30. And we only left then because we pretty much got up and walked out. I put a deposit on the car, but that took an hour to even agree on a price. We were half way out the door when the dealership agreed. Then another half hour to do all the deposit paperwork. Another guy came out with even more paperwork but said it could wait until the car actually came in. Thank god. I was so hungry by that point. We ended up at Chili's. I think I saw only three items on the menu that were under 1,000 calories, and they were like 800. TLDR: I put a deposit on a car and ended up way over eating at Chili's for dinner blowing my goals That's two nights in a row that I haven't gotten home until 10pm and then turned around and went to work an hour early the next morning. I am exhausted. But I've made up the hours I missed when I went to the doctor. Tomorrow is Friday (yay!). I can wear jeans (no clients!!) and not need to be to work until 9am! And I have my fingers crossed they will let me leave at 4 since I wasn't able to last week like they said I could (the other boss held me working on a project). I doubt it will happen, but one can hope.

I hear you on the eggs!! The nutritionist was trying to get me to eat all the eggs. I told her I can only do it for like a week and then I wouldn't be able to eat another egg for a week or two. I love them, I just can't do it all the time. I also told her I don't have the time in the morning and I'm not going to create the time. I just want to grab something, sit down, and eat. I'm not awake enough to actually cook. We came up with some ideas. I've never been a big fan of berries, but willing to give them another try (with the exception of strawberries, love them!) I like the way my mom cooks the carrots for one holiday meal. She combines them with mint I think. It's good, but they get soft and I know I wouldn't be able to handle that for more than a day or two texture wise. I'll have to try the high heat roasting. Oh, I never thought to make my own ranch dressing. I'll see if I can find a recipe for it, lessen the guilt a little. And measure it out instead of just squirting some on my plate or dipping directly into the jar. Though I'm nowhere near what the new commercials are like. I like ranch, just not that much!

Alright, time for an update that is not about my car (which I think I am buying today after work). I met with the actual doctor yesterday at the weight loss department. She believes I have (what I'm calling) the "fat gene". That is not what she said, she just said that I have the genes to gain and hold weight. Anyway, basically she said that my body absorbs the nutrition more than others. So, I can eat 1,000 worth of calories and absorb 90% of it, while most people who eat the same exact 1,000 calories would only absorb 75%. Those aren't the numbers she used, but it gets across what she was saying. My body just soaks up the calories and holds on to them. She, too, wants me to eat more protein, that I'm getting too many carbs/starches especially in the morning with my cereal. And she wants me to cut back on tropical fruit (grapes, watermelon, cantelope, pineapple) because she considers them high in starch. This is just something that came up while she was handing me paperwork. I never mentioned what fruits I eat. Those are pretty much the only fruits I eat. Other than apples, I have no idea what else I can have. And I want to listen to her and take her advice because obviously I haven't been doing something right or else I would have lost the weight by now. Essentially she wants 25 grams per meal of protein and then veggies. So many veggies. I actually don't like most vegetables. Aside from broccoli (which I devour), I don't like them. I have no idea how to up my veggie game. I like carrots and cucumbers, but only when dipped in ranch dressing, so that kind of negates them being healthy. I don't like hummus. I've tried, I hate it. I just feel so limited on what I can eat right now. I wan to quit, say I can't do it, but I won't. I so desperately want to lose this weight.