Silverwitch

Tuesday was all driving and going to dinner with a cousin and her grandkids.

 

Wednesday, we tagged-teamed the kitchen and I poked at laundry enough to keep the new stuff from being a mess.  I feel like I didn't do enough, but I couldn't figure out what to do next.

 

Today I chop up vegetables, clean the kitchen again, and then get out of the way.

Get out of the way of who? Husband? Mother?

Will you go out for Thanksgiving, or do you stay home? Since we are over here quite some hours ahead of USA, my turkey is already in the oven and the whole house smells really good.

Self care can also be going to bed earlier than usual.

Very well done with eating and portion control!

So, over here it is almost 9pm, and … there is a pumpkin pie in the oven and the cranberry sauce is done, just has to cool off in the fridge. All done under "observation" of my husband, who after all these years of our marriage is still fascinated with me making the stuff from scratch.

Dishwasher is running, and the kitchen looks clean again.

I remember when he came to Germany, how worried he was whether we could get here "the proper brands" of canned stuff. 

Now I can relax, and since I just had to deal with pie and such things, I sort of feel like having oil sardines for a late dinner. LOL

Finally, I am home. I am happy to have tomorrow and Friday off, and I will now start making a pumpkin pie for my husband, because tomorrow is American Thanksgiving, and the oven will be taken by the large turkey I am going to pick up tomorrow morning. Oh, and maybe I should get the cranberry sauce started, tastes so much better when it had some rest overnight in the fridge.

I'll be in the kitchen for the next hour!

… and different ideas of nice guys...

Congratulations on your record run! Well done!

Concerning flexibility… sounds to me as if you're awfully flexible. I couldn't even get there where you are now.

You know what the cool thing about hidden talent is? There is a lot to discover. So much more fun than having it all laid out. You will find your talents, I am sure. Most of the time, one feel less talented when comparing with others. It is a very human (female?) thing to believe that the others are in general better than we are. 

The bad way of comparing oneself to thers is the disheartening matter here. 

You will find your talents. Which means you have exciting and interesting years ahead of you, trying stuff, finding things and poking your nose in this and that … all this together is called life. And it is actually quite beautiful, even if it presents sometimes with a lot of … quirks.

So keep coming out of your shell, trying and exploring. 

It's worth the effort!

Btw, what did you have for dinner?

:D

Oh Scumspawn! Thank you for the funny little movie that I just saw in my head... LOL

But I agree: be careful, vegeta!

So, list for this week:

Two tasks transferred from last week: cancel cellphone provider (has to happen now, they require a three months notice) and chase last piece of bank paper.

New tasks:

#1: organize and declutter kid's room and especially sift through closet, 50% of their clothes in there are too small (tough one, best done with them not around…)

#2: Wednesday get rid of rental car, I have Thursday and Friday off

#3: Thursday => hopefully nice Thanksgiving Day

#4: Friday: meet carpenter with plans for livingroom 

#5: get remaining firewood in garage, wet firewood is no good and in the garage it is kept nicely stacked up and remains dry

#6: start on decluttering pantry room in basement; the room is nice and big and I want to make it more than just a pantry.

#7: get door wreath ready, and buy and decorate advent wreath => Sunday is first of Advent!

There is room for a big table and for more, I could make a crafting/ sewing room there. It is not a basement as in dark murky space, it is more an additional floor to the house with nicely tiled ground, white walls and the rooms are the same height as the ones upstairs. Every room has a radiator, and with a rug and some nice things around it is more part of the living space than a "basement"

There is more to do, but right now I just don't remember anything. But it would be great to get all this done, because next week is going to be hell because of loads of late work appointments. 

Oh, in terms of self care and since I am self-employed: drive to work a bit later so that I basically follow the morning traffic jam instead of getting stuck in it. I just arrive 30 minutes later, but what a difference for my nerves!

Decluttering is great for getting a sense of control, I use it as well as painting and decorating, though I've been strict with myself and not started any new decorating projects - otherwise it gets like craft and the whole house is full of half painted walls! I'm sitting in my front room not looking at one corner that didn't get painted 7 years ago!

From what you have written about in this challenge it looks like these have been some tough weeks, I hope it gets easier soon

Thank you! Yes, it has been pretty tough, and still is. But I am sure I will weather these times as I have done on countless different occasions before. Life is no picnic. Sigh.

 

Ah, important things for this week: 

#1: Cancel cellphone provider, get other contract (keep number or get new one? New phone or keep old one? - not sure yet)

#2: Drop car off at mechanics (Friday), get rental car since they'll keep my car for almost a week

#3: Go to PTA meetings (both classes in one week --- great, two evenings burnt  )

#4: find important bank papers (tax agent might have them, gotta call him)

#5: pay all the bills that come this week (timing is my favourite function in online banking!)

#6: If everything gets done, reward myself with crochet pattern book (Amazon) that I am ogling at for the longest time

Okay, I quote myself to check on what I have carried over into this week...

#1: I still need to cancel the cellphone provider. 

#2: car is at mechanics, they called me today that my brakes have gone to sh*ts, and I need new ones. Ouch.

      I have a rental car now. Weird thing. But it works.

#3: went to PTA meetings. I hate those, so much unnecessary babble and so little useful information!

#4: found most of bank papers, called tax agent, need to still hunt down one piece of paper. Where the **** did I throw that thing?

#5: done. Feels good, but bills tend to crop up fast again. I need a goldmine.

#6 => put crochet book in my shopping cart at Amazon, but didn't click "buy" yet………...

I love curry! Even though I am "fueled by Paleo" I do have the occasional veggie day. Sometimes once per week, sometiimes more - but if veggie, then with a load of taste! Curry is just perfect.

Half an hour walk in the sunshine definitely counts as self care!

Thank you Tanktimus, at the end of this challenge I'm going to look back at the other 3 so I can see how far I've come along. Things have changed for me a lot though and you are totally right that drinking is the next thing to sort out. There really is no need to get drunk every weekend!

There is maybe no immediate need to get drunk, nevertheless I can somehow understand well how one gets there. 

I love how good you got with portion control and improving your eating habits! 

What has happened today in terms of self care?

snow! I am so so jealous! We don't often get proper snow here in my bit of the UK, usually it is wet as well so we get grey sludge. And because we are all totally unprepared for snow everything stops, schools close, shops shut..... it's lovely!

 

fantastic decluttering, and I'm so glad St Johns Wort is working out for you

The snow is already completely gone. It is just cold outside, and in the morning, car windows are frozen. I love it, too, when snow slows everything down and forces people to be careful and attentive. Besides, if there is a lot of snow, there is this very special type of silence… I cannot explain it, but it is something very beautiful and I love love love it! 

Decluttering really became a bit of an obsession. Maybe because it seems to be the only thing about my life I can control right now. Concerning St. John's Wort: I take it. Like clockwork. And I don't even want to know how I would feel without it. This month seems not to be a good one, mentally.

I am working on my resilience. 

I would love to come to a point where certain things will not immediately penetrate my armour, pierce my heart and leave me in a heap of mental turmoil...

Looks like some things got done the way you wanted them done. I like that you got your husband to help you with stuff. 

What does that mean "going to be MIA"? "Missing in action" is the only thing that comes to my mind - is this what you mean?

For recipes I usually look on allrecipes.com. It's a site I came across when researching recipes for some of my husband's favourites from USA. Anytime he comes up with something I simply don't know I look there, and usually find something. Pumpkin pie for example. Found a recipe there years ago, modified it (I don't like canned stuff) and now everyone wants it for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Instead of all the canned stuff, I use fresh pumpkin.

Most of the time though, family gets fed my German cooking and baking. 

How was your weekend so far? Lots of self care I hope !!!

When I looked at my scale this morning, I thought of you and moved it from the hardwood floor in the bedroom to the bathroom. Bathroom floor is granite. Weight was the same. Grabbed scale and moved it onto the rug in kid's room. And was heavier. Meh. So I grabbed the stupid thing and put it back in the bedroom. Next week I will not step on it until it is Sunday. Might be a bad decision, because in between is American Thanksgiving and there will be loads of food. 

Today, I will keep decluttering and crocheting. Drinking tea. Gallons of it, trying to resist the urge of putting just a swig of brown rum in the tea pot...

Challenge-wise I think I am doing well. 

St. John's Wort is the first thing in my mouth every morning, and it seems to work. 

I got used to my tea breaks at work, and they really carry me through the second half of my work day. Yoga and Pilates helps my back, and to a certain extent also mentally. Going through the motions calms me down. It takes a while, but it works. 

Water intake has increased as well, which has positive influence on digestion and general well-being. My skin looks smoother, and I am sure it has to do with water intake. Well, it might also have to do with the combination of declutter and self care, because I am determined to use all my face stuff up before it expires. So every day I use something nice to clean my face, neck and decolleté area, pamper myself with rich smoothing creams. 

I noticed that one can do a lot about looks - the secret is a routine that one has to follow. Every now and then does nothing. Perseverance is the key. For body shaping, I also re-discovered something that I once used to do a lot: Callanetics. Anyone out here who remembers? So I combine Yoga, Pilates and Callanetics, and for me those three have a lot in common. 

Just my step count is dreadfully low.

Maybe I should fit walks in. Husband likes walks, and we both like sometimes barefoot running. Okay, winter is not exactly ideal for this - but getting outside is a great booster for immune system and mood.

Storytelling is 50/50 me telling stories and kids telling me stuff that is on their minds. A good experience for all of us. I managed to write some stories down, and find myself already thinking about how to illustrate them. 

What does the most for me is decluttering. With every little bit of space free from clutter, peace of mind increases and I feel in control again. Clutter does not take possession of me, it is finally that I get to re-possess my space, my house and … myself.

Sunday, and we had the first snow! Big fat snow flakes that fell fast to the ground, which means that they are the watery kind which does not stay. Nevertheless, my girls wanted to go outside immediately. They keep running around trying to catch snowflakes with their tongues.

I just realized that my rental car is equipped with summer tires… maybe winter won't proceed that quickly, and have insight to wait until I get my car back (which already has winter tires for two weeks now). Don't want to do freeway in snowy rain - with summer tires. :-/

Yes, I believe too that my mother has a lot of anxiety, probably because somehow she is aware that things are changing. She is aware of the fact that she has gotten forgetful. It freaks her out because she finds herself standing at the bank machine not remembering the pincode from her card, thus not being able to withdraw money. Or not finding keys. Part of her realizes that it is something that happens to her, and is not done to her by others. But then, at times, she sort of pushes it all away claiming that others are responsible for all this. It's really quite sad.

Here are some support groups for relatives of demented people, but I checked their websites, and they are all concerned with later stages where they take care of completely disoriented sometimes bedridden people who have to wear diapers… in their eyes, I am probably still in a sort of "lucky" situation. I try to somehow deal with it myself, hoping that her condition will remain stable for a long time, and that she does not deteriorate that fast.

Oh man, if you feel guilty at the age of 26 of not having a girlfriend… how should I feel then? I didn't have one at that age, and met my husband when we were both 32….

I am convinced that it paid off to stay single for so long, when everyone arond me was getting married, having babies or simply did only exist as a couple. My husband is definitely the right guy, and the few "Mr.Previous" would have been a catastrophe as husbands. 

Except of one time, I was the one breaking up the earlier relationships. They didn't work for me, and were never about me but about what others wanted to see in me.

Trust me: the right one is out there.

Today, we slept in and didn't get up until 8.15 am. Had a nice long family breakfast, kids ran off to play, later they went to my parents (at least my offspring is still trusted ) and they still are there. 

Husband and I did a lot of decluttering together!

It felt great, and we sorted through a lot of stuff in our bedroom: closets, dresser, other cabinets - and we cleaned out a lot of bathroom stuff! I founds loads of free samples from creams long expired and happily tossed them. A good amount is still okay, and I will have my self care time soon, using all the nice sample stuff. A different peeling cream for each limb (since I found about 10 different little sachets), some creams might serve well as footcream, I found a nice face mask and some organic hair shampoo. 

So it will be a combination of decluttering and self care.

Yoga in front of fireplace is planned, too. And reading. 

That would hurt me too, I think it would hurt anyone but deep down you know it's not about you x

I had a neighbour who would call me in weekly to move the ghost that was in her kitchen. I felt I was treading on eggshells because if she lost anything (which she did frequently) she could easily say it was me that took it. It's a very tough situation to be in and my feelings are with you.

 

Can you meet on totally neutral ground? A restaurant or something?

And, more importantly, what have you done for self care today? :-)

Meeting my mother on neutral ground is the only way that works. Restaurants are fine. My brother's place is fine. But it tends to be awkward, except of for the kids. 

Yesterday was unfortunately completely devoted to work. I had my tea break, but that was all in terms of self care. :-/

At the end of the day, I had to make sure that I arrive on time at the place where I had to leave my car in oder to finally get a few scratches in the paint taken care of, before it starts rusting and making holes. I'm usually getting attached to my cars, and this one is almost 15 years old, but one does not see the age. I want it to stay this way! They need my car for one week… sigh. Now I have a rental car, same brand, but smaller and newer. Strange feeling!

At home, we watched as family "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" on BluRay, since next week is American Thanksgiving, and my husband loves to watch this movie around this time of the year.

I promised him once (when we got married) that I would always somehow make it possible to take this day off to honour his holiday and… put a big turkey in the oven for him. Stuffed.

Of course, he wants the whole thing with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gallons of gravy, pumpkin pie … and I added some German stuff too that he likes such as pumpkin dumplings fried in butter, Feldsalat with walnuts (I find two ways to translate this: lamb's lettuce, corn salad … dunno which is right, but I am talking about small spinach type leaves), green beans as little bundles wrapped in bacon.

I have to take the day off since I am making everything from scratch, and I also take Friday off, so I am looking forward to a wonderful long weekend next week. 

Does that also count as self-care?

Unfortunately, we didn't manage to establish it with my parents, they don't come even though we invite them every year. Maybe my brother will come. And if not, then we will have our own family feast, just the four of us. So be it.

What are the German words for Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring? I'm struggling to find which words are the main ones.

And why does run become Läuft for sie/es not rennt like er? IT DOESNT FIT WITH MY RULE *sob* this is hard.

On second thoughts i give up on that because i just read that rennen is racing style running so im hoping i can find translations for jogging for all the .... what do you call the "he, she, it, they" words? I should maybe study english grammar first.....

Im half way through my hour. 

Summer = der Sommer

Spring = der Frühling

Fall/ Autumn = der Herbst

Winter = der Winter

The above words are definitely the main ones for the seasons.

the season = die Jahreszeit 

to run = rennen (yes, faster than just walking)

to walk = gehen, and if not as fast as running, but faster than walking, you might want to use "laufen"

Jogging, as in the sport, is also called Jogging in German, and the "germanized" version of the verb would be "joggen" (note the -en ending of German infinitive).

And… there are regular and irregular verbs in German, too. Some of the irregular ones are … well, pretty … irregular.

Below, I wrote a simple present tense conjugation of two verbs:

rennen 

ich renne

du rennst

er, sie es, rennt

wir rennen

ihr rennt

sie rennen

laufen

Ich laufe 

du läufst

er, sie es läuft

wir laufen

ihr lauft 

sie laufen

In order to make it easier to remember correct verb forms, it might be helpful to learn them always infinitive - past tense - past participle. As an example with "rennen" it would look lke this:

rennen - rannte - gerannt = to run

It did that in school when learning English. I used to study a verb like this: "to go - went - gone = gehen" and I always said it aloud like this. So I studied all the necessary forms of the verb "to go" already from the beginning, and this made it much easier to memorize them. 

he, she, it etc are personal pronouns = Personalpronomen. Going through all of them with a verb is called conjugation (like my examples with rennen and laufen). 

…oh, and I am married to an English teacher!

Hey, ignorant support is better than nothing - and definitely better than many other reactions one gets with this!

Oh, I will gladly share any useful insight the gyn might give me! 

Wine, and certainly also Glühwein => hot wine punch? mulled wine? Don't know how to properly translate this. Basically red wine and rum heated with spices and a bit sweetened. Tastes great and transports you after the first mug into a world of serene relaxation. 

The fat hypotheses is conclusive for me: fat cells have an enzyme that allows estrogen production. If the ovaries slow down, the fat might pick up the slack. But why aren't ALL women in this stage gaining weight? Since estrogen goes down in ALL of us...

Life is not fair.

I keep asking myself whether I did something (I'm not aware of) that somehow hurt her in the past and now comes back as strange symptom within the whole dementia condition.

It feels terrible that she throws me out of her life like that.

In my mind I keep looking for logical answers; I somehow still cannot accept that this is not to be understood with logic or reason.