Silverwitch

Ha, you're absolutely right! I sometimes catch myself too… today, I almost cut my tea break because of busy schedule, but then I decided to NOT cut it. And it carried me through the rest of the day. I am curious whether you will like Pilates. Hang on to the self care! It feels waaay too great to let go of it!

Gardening counts as exercise, too. Just think of all the different moves you make! Sounds like you' re going at a steady and stable pace throughout your challenge. I like this a lot!

True. So far, I am very happy with the challenge and with the outcome of week one.

That's exactly what this is. Passive-aggressive. And manipulative! Yup, took the happy pill because that woman is not worth me winding up in jail for slow-cooking her. But it was a close call. My husband is far away from being unfit as a parent. But his parents basically behave as if he is unfit as their son. Even this morning at breakfast those people were the unpleasant topic of our conversation. I hate how they interfere with about everything!

Yay for Pilates! Out of my own experience I can say that - as soon as one has the moves well memorized - it becomes almost a meditative thing to go through a sequence of Pilates moves. And it definitely builds strength. I like that it requires so little. My livingroom rug is all that is needed. No racket from other people, comfort of my own home, no leaving the house - and if I do this in my underwear, it is fine too.

Oh, I can almost feel your relief at being free from Gym time! One can perfectly work out at home with a few dumbbells or - my favourite - a kettlebell. Bodyweight workouts are great, too. The BBWO from NF is pretty good to get in shape even with pretty much zero equipment. (I hereby admit officially that I just hate to get sweaty. I don't mind the strain, I hate the sweat part though.) I rediscovered another thing from the early Nineties: Callanetics. Laughed so hard at those little brochures that came with women's magazines for a while. Just found some decluttering some old paper stuff, and decided spontaneously to keep them because the instructions are quite good, and the pictures made me laugh out loud. But that stuff really works, at least from what I remember. Made my legs firmer and my calves thinner at the time, which reminds me of the fact that I should maybe reintroduce it into my routines… :-/ Walking around with extra weight on is good, too. Weighted cuffs around the ankles are more feasible during daytime than a large backpack... After an hour using those cuffs, taking them off feels like being able to lift off the ground and fly. The WW2 rations stuff is cool! Does your son like it? I bet he is happy too, that it isn't the spartans! LOL

Weekend was sort of mixed. Saturday we had a church thing that went from morning to lunch time, after that shoe shopping for the kids and later some yoga for me. Actually, 45 minuts of Yoga, which was pretty cool! Decluttering works well, I still love it and I think it became a habit. Finally, a good one! Sunday was chaos, inlaws again, my husband fought with them over some stuff that somehow is rooted in his childhood, I tried to keep myself and kids out of it. Still got involved hissing at my mother-in-law when she tried to get the kids into the whole thing "now shouldn't your daddy not do this…blahblahblah" and I was fed up of having my weekend end in unpleasant conversation. Today, I had off - thank goodness! - to recuperate from this, but I felt angry most of the time because the whole incident was stuck in my head somehow. Anyway, I decluttered more, took my "happy pill" (= not strong enough to compensate inlaw encounters), and had some time to myself when kids were in school and husband went grocery shopping. Part of me thoguht I should go with him, and make sure nothing gets forgotten, but then I thought that he is my age, he can handle this without me reading the list to him. lol Step count: 4000something, which is good for me, but I still would like to somehow get in more. Water: awesome, seven glasses plus some tea. Storytelling: huge joy and pleasure, and I even got to write two shorter stories in the computer today. Happy feeling!!! Food: interesting developments on the way… I had just bulletproof coffee for breakfast, nothing else until dinner half an hour ago. Never felt better! Dinner was some raw veggies, butter, ham, hard boiled egg, self-made mayonnaise (with avocado oil, yum!) and now I feel satisfied, but pleantly "un-full." I'm considering to put intermittend fasting in the program this week. Feels certainly nice, and today was the first day of feeling less bloated-spongy-watery-wobbly -- if you know what I mean. Nail varnish: right now I don't wear any; I didn't get around of putting some on. Colours I like are dark purple, very dark red ("rouge noir"), sometimes silvery and rarely, but sometimes one can see me with black, or dark blue. Sort of "violent" fuchsia has been known to happen, too. I'm just not that much of a pastel person… Tonight, I'm going to put on some silver that shimmers a bit towards purple. Reminds me a bit of my first nail varnish ever in the Eighties: silver that had a weird greenish shimmer. I loved it passionately for years until the brand got discontinued. Went so well with my gothic look at the time. … and I will read tonight in bed.

The flu shot definitley interacts with your immune system, as in busying it a while. Some people are sensitive to this, some are not. I don't think that it interferes with how the meds work - it just exerts its own influences. My experience is that this effect can last for up to a week. I had migraines once after a FSME shot (against tick bite associated encephalitis) for five days. No fun, but the good thing is that it goes away, and one has the protective effects from vaccination. You will be back on track in no time!

Jakkals, I admire how good you are at the writing… so many words already! This is great! Concerning other people and dealing with them… my secretary has a coffee mug that reads "smile - you can't kill 'em all" … makes me sometimes wonder whether she is the right choice for front desk. lol I just don't understand why people have to be so loud and hectic. It drives me nuts and makes me want to act like those large clams that just snap shut and you cannot pry them open, no matter what you do. Today was one of these days where I felt sort of living on a highly overpopulated planet. Concerning brother and girlfriend… I would not say anything either. If any of them wants to talk about it, they will. But why start what might become an awkward type of conversation?

You have my full admiration for your ability to fuel good things with your anger! Since there will always things happen that cause anger in one way or the other, it seems indeed to be a self-replenishing source of endless energy. I totally agree: this way is so much better than getting eaten up from the inside out by acidy anger feelings. Of course, it is great to turn these into any kind of expression - but you did not just turn them into ANY kind, you turned them into ENERGY. How good can it get? This is awesome! Surfing emotions sounds interesting to me… so far, I rather know how emotions surf me instead the other way around. I can hide it, okay, but that's like the being eaten from inside part that you mentioned. Magic all over the place! I'll keep hanging around!

Today is already better, because I finished well at work, so there are no "leftovers" that might haunt me at the beginning of next week. I like to start my weeks at work with a clean desk! This time, no traffic jam on the way home - surprising for a Friday, but I took it as unexpected pleasant present. Water intake six whopping glasses - I am happy about this, and I believe this is the reason for NOT having my usual post-work headaches. Step count: … pathetic. Basically, I didn't walk more than 1,5 miles total today. St. John's Wort => took it. Declutter: chucked a few felt pens in the bin that weren't writing anymore. Tonight, I feel like having a peaceful Yoga session in my livingroom. But before that: self-care, which will be a nice pedicure, maybe even with some pretty nail polish. Later, there might be some sorytelling with my kids - they actually requested it, and told me that my story is supposed to have this in it: a black cat, an owl, a forest, full moon and it is supposed to be creepy. But just a little. I think I'll manage… The evening might end with book in bed. Feels like a good plan.

Sending some emotional strength! *makes magical hand moves* Sometimes, when one plans for great changes in life and gets started with them, there comes a point - usually right out of the blue and without any warnings - when old stuff pops up to hit us in the stomach. Boom. I guess that just happened to you. But ONE blow is not going to get you down! Tomorrow you have to work ten hours. Tough call, I know how that feels. But you will rock. You'll take a large water bottle with you - or maybe there's water at work offered? - and you will resist and NOT drink any soda. Maybe you can manage to get yourself a decent breakfast (I'm talking eggs and bacon for example, not three weedy leaves or half a loaf of toast that will just have you hungry two hours after eating it). I believe you can do it. I believe you can get back up and get your act together. I believe you can rock this challenge. I believe you have it in you. Now YOU need to believe. Hang in there, man. PS => Back to the Future is one of my alltime favourite movies. But then, hey, I was young IN THE EIGHTIES.

Matcha in baked goods... this is something I remember from a Japanese place in California. It was some sort of a delicious not too sweet little cake thingy, barely bigger than a sushi maki piece, and it had a thick layer of matcha powder on top... I totally forgot about this! Now I want to have it, and I don't even remember what it is called!

Oh gosh, Thursday wasn't my day either. Funny how that works out sometimes. But I see here a lot you can be proud of! #1 standing up for yourself #2 no sugar, wheat or cheese #3 just one pint! Awesome! The woozy feeling will disappear, and at least you had some decent sleep. Originalpiratematerial is right: we tend to focus almost exclusively on negative feedback, even though we need the positive much much more. And when we get it, we tend not to believe it. But the negative feedback almost always makes it right past our mental defenses... Yay to every single day where we manage to break out of this!

Thursday was a bit of a mess, really. Crazy stuff at work - at some part of the day it had me standing in the lab breathing fire down the neck of some irresponsible jerk. Thought of fffffinn, how he channels anger into energy, and felt that my energy was better to just evaporate at this point, or it would have been very destructive. As in nuclear warfare destructive. *growl* Got my act back together in my well-needed tea break, even did some "office yoga" which eased some of the tension. Water intake just 4 glasses. Step count: beyond pathetic. :-/ Drove home, hanging in the mother of traffic jams. Did not improve my mood. Kids were at my folks, when I got home. They came late, so there was no storytelling yesterday. Clicked a bit around on NF. Self-care: a nice hot bath to cool my jets , very nice hair conditioning (silky shimmery hair, love it!) - and a wonderful back massage from husband. Which actually saved the day. It relaxed me enough to be able to focus on a few pages of my bedtime read, and to fall asleep.

Faith and believing (no matter whether christian or other) have nothing to do with papers and registration or church tax or other worldly matters.

Wah, hell ride! Glad it turned out well. *virtual.hug.from.mother.to.mother*

You had me looking up the German translation to "haggard" - I learn a lot of new vocabulary from you! Love it! And no, by no means you should do something that makes you look haggard. My favourite aunt always said, at 50 you have to make a choice between body and face… I'd go with face. Weight is also only numbers, key is whether you feel good or not, and whether you like the way you look or not. Anything else is just mind mess-up. Anyway, I still find it weird … this female addiction with weight loss and numbers on a scale. I try to free myself from it, too. Which does not mean I give up on being in what I consider good shape. But it means that my day ins not determined by these numbers.

People with PhD and/ or MD rarely like to go as employee for a company/ business that isn't really big or held by someone without these degrees… at least if you want the good ones. I didn't want that myself. I have PhDs as employees, and if you want quality work from them, you have to "quality pay" them. If you want to be accepted as the top head, you need to be literally on top in every way. Petefeet made a very important point, and here it does absoluely not matter whether you compare a diagnostics/ science lab with a bookstore: time in equals money in. Very basic, and very very true. Getting a PhD isn't meaning to get too specialized. There will be a time when literally no-one will ask you what your thesis was about. They just want to see the degree. Once you have this, you just need to fill it with life. Become known, present stuff and become good at PR in own matters. The schedule that you showed above… looks to me like a fairly normal life of a working person. The point is what you do with the time given to you. You have 24 hours. As everyone else. I sometimes wish it would be more but then - for what? If I can't even make something out of the allotted 24 hours, why dream of 36? In Germany, there is a proverb that says "Lehrjahre sind keine Herrenjahre" = basically "apprentice years are no master years." Meaning, as long as you aren't done learning your trade, you will have to accept that some of your time will have to be spent following other people's instructions/ orders/ expectations. I always strived to free myself from this, I have to admit that authority from others over me does not go down well with me. So my goal was always to be my own boss, as independent as possible. But "independence" is a very relative term, I learned the hard way. Try to see the positive in what you are doing now, put your heart in it and pretty much try to enjoy it! You did your MSc for a reason, or not? It is pretty cool to have this, so make something of it! My experience is that life becomes more enjoyable if you like what you're doing. We spend loads of time in our jobs, so we should not be stuck in one that sucks. But even this might happen now and then (I had phases like that too, and yes, it sucks big time). You need a solid life goal, and then everything else needs to follow this goal as if being lead by a red thread. Since you put a lot of thought into this, I trust that you definitely have the means to set yourself on the proper track. Either in the course of a challenge - or in the course of a few challenges, all of them leading to go for a certain life quest. Think of it a bit like Nerd Fitness… do certain things in order to level up. In real life. You can definitely do it!

Ugh, what a day … Kids are still at my parents, so I assume it will be too late today for storytelling because they will have to jump right in bed to be fresh for school tomorrow. I don't like having them hang like zombies at the breakfast table. I will use the occasion, and prepare a nice bath for myself. Hair conditioning time!!! Husband offered a 20 min. back rub for after the bath… *purr*

Oh man, unhappy kids … That's hard to take for me, too. I love to see them happy and balanced. Hopefully, it is but a minor cloud on the sky, nothing serious. I'm still in awe at your walking - I find it very hard to get up to a decent step count on a normal work day.

Hm, all the nice and easy and fairly affordable methods are bound to be not very precise. I would also go by feeling - and take measures. Tape measurements as in assessing circumference, that is. With calipers, if I do them on one day and then (same weight) two days later, I get different readings and percentages. May there be fluctuation, but that much? If you've added circumference that is NOT soft, you've gained muscle. That's my favourite method of assessing. I agree with the above: forget numbers. They just mess with your mind.

Charting out things can really be helpful. Concerning starting your own business, the time required varies, but I can assure you it is A LOT. It depends on whether you start your business from scratch or whether you join in as a partner into an already existing business. Key word is business plan. What is required? Machines? Lab equipment? Manpower beside your own? Customer acquisition and maintenance, ability to keep deadlines, building a reputation, rent for building/ cost for utilities... If in research and/ or medical field, a PhD or MD (or maybe even both) will give you a headstart. It makes potential customers give you sort of a "credit of trusting your expertise." It took me three damn hard years of work, and no, I didn't have to follow another people's schedule. I followed a very simple one: 6 hours sleep, rest work. Now I sort of follow the schedule that comes with the work: deadlines, express stuff, other obligations. At least I'm down to something between 50 (good) and 60 (not so good) hours per week, conventions and presentations which take some weekends not counted. Do you want to stay in research? Building your own facility is difficult, carefully put. Staying employed as "the eternal research fellow" is stressful. You will have to write grants (that take care of your paycheck), be judged by rank and number of publications, plus - in ten years or so - others will come in, younger, ambitious and verrry eager. And no matter whether you chose what you do or someone tells you what to do: there will be the point at which routine is ... just routine, and requires doing. Yes, it still will feel like work. The good part is that you have more of a feeling of filling your own bank account instead of the account of someone else. But I would still not go so far to call it "freedom." It might sound discouraging, but it is not meant to be. It's just ... a good sense of reality can prevent disappointment and frustration, before one starts with high expectations.

How's the cold? I hope you got rid of it! Do you actually look forward to moving?

Hey, you do get it done! The after-pic shows that clearly. I'd give the oven a good scouring - makes it much more fun using it. It seems that the diswasher is one of they key pieces to keep the kitchen tidy. So cycling and emptying it at a regular basis should be a priority. How about putting stuff immediately in the dishwasher instead of waiting to let it pile up and then load it? If stuff crops up, unload dishwasher, put stuff in. Sim ilar at my place, I had to explain to my husband how certain occurences are interconnected. Now I just have to convince him that it is neither necessary nor sustainable to cycle the dishwasher with just two pots and one glass in it...