karinajean

hey friend, don't be too hard on your brain... honestly the urge to hide is totally 100% normal if you are faced with a rough work situation and then awkward required conversations related to rough work situation. I know that with brain glitches like lots of us have it can totally magnify the urge to stay in bed but.... I just wanted to say - you're starting from a normal feeling, so, working through it, acknowledging it, and showing up and talking to your CEO anyway is awesome and perfect and the right thing to do. you can do this! xoxo! PS OMG THAT BACK FLEXINESS. hashtag goals (that I'm not prioritizing and therefore am not quickly achieving).

accidentally stayed at work a little late last night and had to save the bread baking for this morning. I'd pulled a container of homemade turkey broth out of the freezer last week and had to use it, so I cooked some quinoa in it and tossed in some frozen mixed veg when I got home. quick and easy and not terrible for you. it would have been quicker if we had cous cous like I thought we did. I did get partway through the book, though, so checked that off. week 4 day 2 - exercise party this morning. I didn't sleep well - the cat was really fidgety from 330 on, and I was thinking about stuff and that always keeps me awake, and man i'm POOPED today. today was deadlift day! we weren't going for max, but heavy. I worked up to 195, which is, incidentally, how much I weigh. we were supposed to do 2reps eight times, so I did my first 4 at 175, then he had me put 20 lbs, on, and I did 3 more before we ran out of time. I feel awesome about that! I'm really excited! this is heavier than the first time I deadlifted (which was either 165, or 185, I don't know), and I trusted my butt, and it WORKED. YAS. I love this early period of learning things and big gainz. I asked my husband to turn on the oven when he got downstairs so by the time I got home I just had to pop the bread from the fridge into the pans and into the oven, and it was ready just before I left the house. tomorrow in cooking the foods news, I have to remember to make yogurt after work. out of recognition that I haven't been eating very much protein lately I had a protein shake for breakfast, and will have leftover quinoa for 2nd breakfast. planning japanese with a colleague for lunch, and I'm going to a conservation committee meeting for the town tonight so no tkd, and late dinner that I haven't figured out yet. I'm so so so so so tired after my poor sleep last night. the conservation committee meeting starts at 7 and I'm going to have to bag out at 830 so I am a human being tomorrow. also, my shoulders and upper outside rib area are super sore after yesterday's push-ups / pull-ups extravaganza. at least I'm not walking funny. YET.

that it's almost my BIRTHDAY!!!

if you don't set a goal, you'll never achieve it! I DOOOO sleep but not as much as I ought to. my fitbit tells me I'm at 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 hours a night on average and I really do need to get 6 1/2 to not just be slowly dragged down. mostly I don't have any time to do ANYTHING at night, I get home from work at 630pm or from TKD at 8pm and it's mostly eat, make sure that there's not a lot of mouse attraction in the kitchen (aka clean up, but reallllly it's not a great clean-up) and try to get into bed at 9-9:30. I think if there's a secret super power it's just that I'm a morning person and really stubborn. really really stubborn.

I just caught up and it's really reminding me that a nice big salad is a thing I want to eat more of. THANK YOU FOR THAT. now I just have to manage when to go grocery store...

week 4 day 1! yo how is it week 4 already? exercise party this morning. it was a timed amrap with a terrible mixture of pull-ups (I did jumping), push-ups, then squats. my hips are still sore but the squats didn't hurt, so that's awesome. I got pretty winded and didn't go as fast as the other peeps but did fairly respectably. I'm really tired (still not back on my feet from last friday / sat. late nights) and the 2 beers I had last night while catching up on marvel movies (we hadn't seen civil war or ragnorok yet) are kind of poking in the gut and head this morning. but! - I didn't pass gas while working out, and today, that's what I'm judging success by. (TMI? #sorrynotsorry) tonight I"m going to finish baking bread (I got it started yesterday) and I need to read a book for work - weird senior leader-lead book club is on wednesday afternoon. We're reading "The Loyalist Team," which I have, but haven't even started on.

WEEK 3 RECAP * think about what my yard plan will be for the year. I do keep thinking about the yard. I haven't been doing yet. but I keep thinking. * keep going to the gym classes (average 4x/week). NOT REALLY. this week I hit 3x. 1x was missed b/c I was soooo tired and another time was missed because I was working. * keep tracking food and thinking about what I'm eating. still tracking. not eating much protein, I'm going to work a protein shake in and maybe have smaller jars of yogurt for mid-morning snack. starting tomorrow. I think this will help. * figure out how to fit in running. yeaaaaah no.

thanks! friday was the pits. I worked at home from like, 4 to 7ish, then showered and went into work and the power was out, so I had to sit at someone elses desk that DID have power for a while, and then I stayed at work until 11PM. It was a lot. week 3 day 5 - no exercise, long day at work pretty much wrecked my right shoulder and hip from stress bunching and sitting all day. week 3 day 6 - Up for dojo sat., which was heavy on weapons forms and not terribly heavy on the boxing, but was still a good workout. taught class, went home, took a bath to try and loosen up my shoulder and hip, and tried to nap. we drove out to CT to see a band play and it was super fun, but another late night. week 3 day 7 - rest day 10hundred percent. I also bought new yarn for a sweater that I'd better make (the yarn was on sale and I love the idea of this kind of sweater. just have to make it happen.... my list of knitting patterns is sooooo long. I would really like this to be the year that I make myself a couple of sweaters though!

booooooo for gas problems. but yay for not inadvertently dying in your sleep or blowing up, so I guess there's that.

Oooh! Picking locks. I haven't tried but I would like to and read once that the bristles from street sweepers make great picks and I started to pick them up and have a burjillion now.

feelings are feelings! instead of feeling weird about being that crying person at class, acknowledge how punk rock and fierce it is to have feelings and sometimes let them fly free. it's ok. other people can handle their discomfort and you are probably providing them a great growth opportunity by dealing with their own feelings about your feelings. this is actually a public service that you're providing. See, you're the best!

wow, things have been pretty hectic for you. um as someone sorta kinda just coming out on the other side of a family member's health issues, your approach to adapt your plan is AMAZING and exactly what you need to do. also, I'm sorry your family is giving you lots of chores, but it sounds nice that everyone is able to jump in and help out.

it's great that the doctor had some suggestions and a path forward! the plan and the food timing seem like some really big shifts though - what are your plans for implementing them? I feel like making that shift has the basis for an entire challenge worth of goals.

once you get these 5 ish visits over your 2x a week dental cleaning and exam will be one of the best parts of your year, I bet! it's so great to have clean teeth and no follow up visits to worry about. it might help to take a pain killer or something similar before going to the dentist, esp if you are a jaw clencher. also ummmmm you have been hitting a daily routine SO HARD and i know, I know, that's the point of a daily routine, but this one day of f it all is so tiny against the backdrop of your overall success.

whelp I'm up early. I worked until about 11 (after getting home at 8 or so from tae kwon do and then eating) and got up at 330ish when I woke up naturally (had set alarm for 4 am). so, it's better than being at the office until midnight but I am not as productive here as I am there. Planning to work for an hour or so and then get ready for work and head in. you guys, it's just this one really big deliverable that is PART OF A 2-3 WEEK STRING OF HARD WORK STILL. but we are getting most of the heavy lifting done now, and getting lots of senior review and buy in early, so hopefully it will be amazing.

awesome design! I was thinking about the intuitive eating thing. I mean, I love the idea of having just a small taste and that being enough (of something decadent). but I also love the physicality of eating, too. It helps me to only eat things that are either so so so delicious or are really FUN to eat, but there's an overlap in that venn diagram of things that are delicious, fun to eat, and not very good for me that I have a difficult time slowing down on. I'm wondering if I can konmari my food? like, thank it for being so wonderful, and eating it, and trying to stop? I don't know.

week 3 day 4 I got up and went to exercise party. I'm still uber stressed out re: work obligations but today was a weights day and I didn't want to miss it. today we did cleans. We did a lot of warm-ups focused on reinforcing that movement, and then I started out with the technique bar and 20 lbs on it, and worked up to 82 lbs (apparently the technique bar is 22 lbs?). I went for 87 and did such a pretty clean into squat and just couldn't stand up. OH WELL NEXT TIME FOR SURE LOL. partly it's my chest - I am having a super hard time keeping my chest up in squat, and that's going to take some time to fix -- and that made me super conscious about not hurting my back, esp as it's been really stiff lately. not hurt, but stiff. partly, I just didn't have the juice to stand up. tonight is TKD so I can't stay at work until midnight like I really ought to. Will have to be ultra productive at home. Not sure if exercise party is in the works for me tomorrow, it depends on how far I can get through the text/ etc. that I'm preparing.

I'm not sure if you read the InCryptid series, but this: is TOTALLY being said by aeslin mice in my head. (and if you're not reading it, you really really really really should.) tbh and 100% real here I have ZERO idea how strong I am. I think I'm pretty good at understanding my beastmode because I'm pretty relentless with movement once I am doing a thing. also though I'm a giant? remember I've got lofty heights. I've never done any strength training for real beyond bodyweight, tho, and so all of this is so new to me. BUT one of the things I really wanted to experiment with was strength - because I think my family (my dad, brother, and I) gain strength pretty well, and pretty rapidly, and I wanted to figure out if that's really true - and also if it's just a here today / gone tomorrow thing or if it's long term.

NICELY DONE RL. abs and articles, the ever-successful combination!

yo team lipstick! I have been wearing my current lipstick ALL DAY with reapplications as needed. high fives!

happily my arms have been slowly recovering today. I think I could possibly hold a heavy lunch bag at about chest height and if there were string long enough, I could spin in a circle and bean people with it. HOT TOPICS: HOW IS KARINAJEAN'S BUTT? Well friends, I'm glad you asked. My butt is doing phenomenally well. I can sit on hard seats now without flinching (helpful in toilet situations) and when I walk around it doesn't take me 5 steps to loosen up out of a hobble. THANK GOODNESS. having penguin restricted arms AND a butt restricted hobble stride was kind of a little too close to an ACTUAL penguin for my comfort.

some-buddy is ON FIRE! (and not in a tragic self-immolation way) yesterday I also adopted the "just do one thing this is an easy thing just do it" methodology. it's so effective.

IT WAS GOTTEN! I know, there's ao many super prescriptive things out there for diet and I maybe am just stubborn and cynical but I love reading all the additional details. UM BUT. (BUTT.) today it's a jar of arugula! we have SO MANY mason jars lying around. they're heavy, but convenient.

week 3 day 3 yooooo I'm d.e.d. after exercise party this morning. it involved 2x of 60 american kb swings (which are overhead because Murica is just extra, I assume?) with a 35 lb kb and a bunch of ring rows and headstand pushups (which I do from a box) and jumping rope and WOW no high fives today, I'm sorry, I can't give anyone a hug, I can just stand around like an awkward penguin. it took me 20 minutes to finish because I got a little lightheaded at one point and then I do this thing where I work myself up and if I'm not careful I can hyperventilate just because, you know, panic I guess? so I took a lot of extra time to finish round 2 of KBs. also, I'm physically fatigued. I woke up tired. that didn't help at all. but I was SO THANKFUL I'd had a little bite to eat before I left the house! other than that, though, everything is cool. We did active hangs again today in 3x 1 min rounds (with some other stuff of course mixed in) and I can hold for about 20-25 seconds, which is awesome, and I know it'll get better. in other news, yesterday I tried not to eat all the cookies and chocolates and did better than previous days. also, I made this delicious dal when I got home from tkd (though I didn't have all the ingredients so I really was "following" the recipe) and it was so good. https://pipingpotcurry.com/dal-tadka-instant-pot/. I've been craving dal since we had some on our VT trip a couple of weeks ago. and with respect to work, I've managed to block off most of the day for working on that one thing that's due friday, so that's a helpful feeling. whoa tho' my arms.

I wore lipstick too!!! I totally chewed it off during a fraught meeting at lunch and didn't reapply though. Gonna try again today!