ashlynparish

Thanks @BWilburn! Kudos to you, too!

Hi everyone, I strangely just got butterflies in my stomach as I started typing this! Maybe it's the fact that I'm putting myself out there, to be held accountable by you all, and that I'm opening myself up to complete strangers... I'm 27, female, and have struggled with my health and weight since the moment I hit puberty. I have PCOS and I know that I can better control it with a healthier lifestyle (rather than being on meds 24/7), so I'm taking action to avoid becoming diabetic; to avoid a sedentary lifestyle; to gain control over my physical and mental health; to love living life. A few months ago, I tried to start on a more thoughtful and healthful journey, but then the Polar Vortex hit and I got really sick. Then I ended my friendship with my best friend of 11 years. And if the cold wasn’t keeping me glued to my couch before, now I really struggled to get up and out. I was depressed and the weather didn't help. But I had ice cream and tv to console me, right? Finally, enough was enough. I needed to fit into a dress for a black-tie event at the beginning of April and I was going to make it happen, come hell or high water. I hit the gym every day for the 2 weeks leading up to the event and cut out all processed food from my diet. Whole foods were the name of the game. Did I end up fitting into my dress within in the timeline? You bet I did. Granted, it only required a small amount of weight loss, but it required determination and it was the motivation/kick-in-the-butt I needed. I’m not content stopping there. I know that I can gain control over my life, my body, and my health. I think a paleo diet is the way to do it for me, as I've done a lot of reading and research that persuades me of the fact that this is the correct path for me, and it will enhance the time that I spend in the gym. Part of my problem is that, at a very deep and dark level, I believe that I don’t deserve to be a strong and beautiful person both inside and out and that I deserve to hide myself in a corner. I’ve never really shared that with anyone before. I don’t really know where the feeling stems from, except maybe a build up throughout my life of not being allowed to eat certain things or being told I’d be gorgeous if I just lost a couple of pounds. It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when it was, but I decided to rebel against these criticisms and I became a very secretive eater. I felt like I was giving a middle finger to the world by not losing that weight. Of course, I saw how backwards this thinking was, but I must have felt like this was the only control I had... Now, I'm learning how to embrace who I am and this powerful tool that is my body. I'm truly taking control and joining this rebellion! The paleo diet is my chosen path and I can’t wait to transform my world! Good to meet you all