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MidknytOwl

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About MidknytOwl

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    Newbie
  • Birthday March 23

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    Sweden
  1. Potentially silly question, but I'm curious so I'm just going to ask anyway. I did my first challenge over a year ago, and that went really well...then I got really demoralized and kind of fell off the wagon. Then I got diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I've now been cancer free for almost three months (yay!) and have built up enough stamina to where I can walk places without getting exhausted. Since I'm feeling like a normal human again, I thought it would be good to jump back in the challenge, because I'm so out of shape it's absurd. (I may have a good reason for being where I'm at, but now it's time to do something about it.) So here's my silly question: my stats. I made my stats with how I was last challenge, and felt they were pretty accurate...but now I don't think they fit at all. Mostly how I feel physically is that the first four stats should be 0-1, since I feel like a weak, limp noodle. My strength is depleted, my gains in dexterity are lost, and I really feel like the Constitution should be in the negatives. Do I just leave it as is and go from there? I have no idea how I would redistribute the points anyway, since like I said, I just feel physically like an infant. I know it's silly, but I'm curious. I haven't updated my signature yet, so you can see the distribution. Thanks!
  2. Hi. I had wanted to learn a martial art for a long time, wanting to be able to protect myself combined with something that had history versus a McDojo, so in the summer of 2011 I found a local Kung Fu school (Northern Shaolin) and went for it. I loved it. Loved it. Drank the kool-aid hard, went religiously and was sad on the days there weren't class, participated in the Lion Dancing (I was a Buddha) that enabled the school to run as a non-profit and keep class costs down. With classes and practice I was at the school 10-15 hours a week, happily sweating my little butt off. Then I busted my knees. The first one was a meniscus tear just a month in (though I didn't know that until much later). After a week my knee felt mostly better, so I just went right back at it, and after a month it didn't bother me at all. About a year and a half later, I busted the other knee. That one would be fine until forms, where suddenly I would twist just right and barely be able to walk for the rest of the night. After a couple months of this happening I finally went to a doctor, where I found out I had a meniscus tear and needed surgery if I wanted it to stop doing that. A month after that I went snowboarding for the first time...and tore my MCL, of my good knee! (I know. I apparently shouldn't do things.) It was from that MRI that I found out I tore my meniscus that first month and had just been going around with it torn for two years. Cue 9 weeks in a leg brace that went from my hip to below my foot 24/7, which was followed by double knee surgery (where thankfully the MCL had just healed enough he didn't have to reconstruct), and six weeks of physical therapy. My final follow-up appointment had good news and bad news: I was clear to hike again (I'm a Park Ranger, this was a big deal)...but I should never do Kung Fu again. Turns out I'm a little knock-kneed and the twisting motions of Kung Fu and my anatomy are not a good fit. If I went back, it was just a matter of time before I would tear my meniscii and have to have surgery again, and each time upped later arthritis and pain, since there's only so much to cut out. In my heart I knew it was coming, because I had never had a single knee problem before I started Kung Fu, and it seemed to be all I had since. I also wasn't the first person at the school to have knee surgery, and while the 19 year old went back after surgery and went hard until she had to have the same surgery on the other knee a year later, it wasn't worth the risk for me. I'm in my 30s and need to be able to walk to do my job; as much as I loved Kung Fu it wasn't worth giving up hiking and my career. So now it's almost two years since I last did Kung Fu. I've gained about 70 pounds (the injury and not being able to walk coincided with getting hypothryoidism - thanks body!) and am ridiculously out of shape. I can go to the gym, but I think I'll really benefit from some type of organized class that makes me go. Plus I still want to be able to defend myself, and I feel I've lost what training I had in that arena. What do you suggest? My ultimate goal is to be able to defend myself and hold my own (though I'm not sure why this worries me so much). I'm very short (4'10") and I'm a very dense human (healthy weight for me is actually 170-180, which is 100 pounds from where I'm at now). Speed is not a strong suit, but I'm naturally strong and muscular under my fat. I liked sparring a lot and won gold in continuous sparring at the ICMAC tournament, so I don't suck at it either, which is nice. (I kind of sucked at Kung Fu otherwise though. My body was not really meant for Northern, but we didn't have a Southern school.) While I liked the forms, culture, and history with Kung Fu, I think at this point I'd be okay too with just being able to kick ass and take names. Obviously, anything with excessive jumps and twisting is out, because of the knees, but otherwise I'm open. Thanks for any suggestions!
  3. Thanks for the kind words. Still floundering a bit, but getting a little better day by day, so I'll take it. Haven't hit the gym yet this week - I think I've fallen out of the habit already. Funny how long it takes to make a good habit and how quickly it reverts back to being a bad habit if you let it. I'm not beating myself up over it though, because I realized I needed to take one thing at a time. I was actually thinking of quitting the challenge this go round, with as much emotional upheaval I feel, but I figure I can at least keep doing parts of it and just try to get better every week. I have a really hard time with the all-or-nothing mindset, and knowing I'm failing my goals is part of me wanting to throw in the towel. So I'm trying to work through it. So, no gym and no walking yet. Those fell to the back burner. The positives though: I'm still only at 2 times of processed food this week, both times at social times instead of me being at home and sad pants. I've been tempted the last two nights to get some takeout for dinner, since I've been kind of meh and still have 2 more allotments for the week, but I've managed to talk myself out of it each time by thinking I might really need/want to eat something later in the week, and what if I'm out of allotments? Then I'll feel down on myself for not saving them up and failing my goal, again. Plus since I bring leftovers for lunch, not making dinner throws me off for the next day. It's working, at the very least. I made some progress on the life quest too, about 40 minutes of being at the storage unit yesterday. I'm happy/surprised to report I didn't cry! Probably because I was returning from a great doctor's visit (more below) and in a better mood for the entire day, whereas car cleaning day I had already mom-cried once before going through her stuff. I stopped going through the storage unit because I wasn't set up right, but now I have a plan that I think will make it go by easier and help me get rid of stuff. Like I opened a box of stuffed animals, and there was this cute winter Eeyore that my mom had (she was a big Eeyore fan). It's adorable, but I don't necessarily need it or want it. But it gave me warm fuzzies to see it and made me smile because I could remember how much she loved it (which is great - I didn't think for a long time I'd ever have happy memories that weren't accompanied by sad time.) So I don't want to get rid of it because of that. I realized though, it's more I don't want to forget it existed, like I had in the last year and a half, but I don't physically need that either - I'll physically keep things I remember her having and treasuring, because they have meaning for both of us and not just her. So I've decided when I go back I'll bring a camera, and take pictures of the things like that. So if I'm feeling nostalgic, I can flip through the pictures and feel close to my mom and what she liked, without having to devote a closet to keeping things she liked. Does that make sense? I feel like it's a good plan. Also, a really good indicator with how far I've come, because I don't think I could have done that a year, or maybe even 6 months ago. There's been a benefit to procrastinating all this time after all! The other thing that is going well is I saw a new doctor yesterday and she was amazing. Best doctor I've had in at least 7 years, and this was my third time at trying to find a doctor that would just listen to me and work with me. She spent an entire hour talking to me (and I actually just liked talking to her - like I want to take her out to lunch and just chat) and listened to all my concerns and random comments on my body without making me feel like a hypochondriac or like I had to rush everything out in my allotted two minutes of doctor time. The cool part is I start taking hypothyroidism meds in the morning! I've thought I might have a thyroid problem for about a year now, because I gained so much weight (70 pounds in a year) and I'm always cold, two of the classic signs. When I finally got tested (right before I found these forums), my results came back normal, and that doc just wanted me to take diet pills. (Thanks doc!) Also, the cold intolerance was getting ridiculous (waking up with chattering teeth in 78 degrees), and he had no reason for it. After actually listening to me and asking questions, new doc says I clinically present as having the condition (ie all the symptoms), and that while I might fall into the normal range, it might be low for my normal. Which I think is awesome, because we all have our differences and what really matters is that I'm suffering from the symptoms, right? Anyway, so starting on a super low dosage, and I'm hoping it'll work - looking forward to more energy, less depression, not waking up shivering and freezing to death, and the best part, the ability to lose weight! Last week and a half aside, I've been working at this pretty hard for 2 months and I've lost only 5 pounds, and no inches anywhere that I can tell. That's just not right. So, happy for the future, and I'll continue to slowly get to where I'm comfortable and try to keep working in my goals one by one without berating myself.
  4. I always did better when I worked out before work. Then you have no excuses or the entire exhausting day to talk you out of it, and it's just done, and I always found it made me more awake, alert, and happier (maybe because I knew I already did my exercise?) when I got to work than when I was still half asleep. I also think it made me eat healthier, because I had started the day off being so good. Man, now I really want to work out before work, because I've been sucking royally at the going after work this week. Maybe I should switch to 9 hour shifts so I can go in later. Going to the gym and still making it to work by 7am = hell. Why don't you talk hubby into going with you in the morning? You can still carpool and he would probably benefit from the gym time as well. Helps with the martial arts too...
  5. I'm still deeply impressed you're keeping up with any of it in your current situation, so kudos to you! The lunch thing is always tricky...maybe say that you'll out with them on Fridays (or whatever day strikes your fancy)? You can always say you can't afford it (you did just move across country and all), or say nothing and they'll just assume it's something like that anyway. As long as you're making an effort to go out with them on a semi-regular basis, then I don't think anyone will think you're being anti-social. My boss always asks if I want to go somewhere for lunch when I end up working out of the office in town, and it took a while before I started turning her down, since she's my boss and all. Then I finally realized she just loved having lunch out and me being randomly in the office was an excuse for her to eat it out guilt-free. $150 a month for a gym??? I mean, I don't CrossFit, so forgive me for the sticker shock, but damn. Even the $35 a month seems high to me - here the average is about $20 for gyms. When I was taking kung fu I was paying $80/month, and that was for 10-15 hours of classes a week. Ouch. I would also go for the regular gym. Not just because it's 1/5 the cost (though that's definitely in there), but because you are signed up for a marathon. Sometimes it's hard enough to get your butt out the door for a run to begin with, and you throw in unhappy weather circumstances and it just isn't going to happen 99% of the time. I say eliminate one variable to help make yourself more successful. Plus, as others mentioned, you can do lifting and CrossFit type stuff in that gym, if not as easily as at a box.
  6. Yay for poetry! I think it counts, it's creative and gets those mentally juices flowing. It's not like you swapped reading for TV or something. I feel you on not caring so much about work now that your notice is in. I've still got two months left and it's definitely a struggle. There must be something going around though, because it seems to have been a crappy few days for quite a few people (myself included). I have all the confidence in the world that you'll get through it with flying colors though, because you're a rockstar. Working 10 days in a row is AWFUL and good luck on getting through it. Think of all the amazing free time you'll have afterwards though. Hang in there chica!
  7. There seems to be quite a few of us that are in a bit of a rough patch, so know you're not alone! Besides, you killed the first week so hard that if you kept it up I would just think I was an utter failure in all things. It helps that we know you're human too. The dream thing sucks - I actually had one where a friend of mine died that was so realistic I called him at 4am to make sure he was okay. I just couldn't go back to sleep without knowing. What if it was that Hollywood moment where we're so connected that I had the dream because he's in trouble and I could do something whereas if I ignore it he could die without my help? (I get all super dramatic and confused between dream world and reality when I first wake up, if you couldn't tell.) Maybe the dream is telling you your company goal should include him in the future? Then you can tell him casually over tea that you're glad he's not dead. Glad you liked the pickles! Super easy and delicious, right? I just made a batch of dilly beans tonight - same concept but with green beans. It's a slightly different recipe and they have to sit 48 hours, but I'll let you know if they're any good. Is there anything you can make/have in stock in the house for when you have to run out the door, so you can get breakfast in on those unexpected crazy days? Granola bar, hard boiled eggs, etc? I keep a stash of frozen homemade dinners in the freezer at work for those oops kind of days. I have an awesome zucchini bread recipe if you want, which makes a delicious breakfast and would give you a hidden vegetable to boot...though I just remembered it's not summer there, so you might have to wait to make it if you can't get a hold of zucchinis this time of year. Banana bread instead? Hang in there - you'll be doing great again in no time!
  8. Ouch...hopefully it was just a little 2.5 pound plate? :/ Yeah, the loss of strength was pretty hard for me. I remember leg pressing 40 pounds my first week of PT and how lame I felt. My PT was full of a lot of old people recovering from hip replacements and rotator cuff surgery though, and being half the age of everyone there helped me feel not so lame, since they were impressed with the fact I could do 40 pounds or step up on a step at all. It'll get better, and at least with the PT it'll get better faster. Take care of that foot!
  9. I did the same thing! I was thinking, "Well, I've never had rutabaga, but jicama, coconut, and bacon doesn't sound like it would be the most appetizing in the world..." Perhaps it's from watching too much Iron Chef/Iron Chef America... Which means we'd have to turn on the ice cream machine. Bacon ice cream! (I don't actually have an ice cream machine, but I imagine that would be delicious.)
  10. tl;dr: Quest 1: Quest 2: Quest 3: Life Quest: (that made me in the process though) The week went really good if we don’t count the weekend. Can we not count the weekend? Wednesday night my hetero-lifemate came back into town to pick up the last of his things and finish his move to California, staying at my place in the process, all during my work week. I think the only reason I was able to do as well as I was last challenge was because his daughter was in town, taking up 98% of his time, and he was running around getting things together for quitting his job, starting a new one, moving, etc. In other words, he was practically not here and I was able to stay on track better. I tried. I did. I cooked some meals, I thought I had it figured out, but I also thought he was staying one less day than he ended up staying, so I went over on my processed food allotment by one while he was here, and missed my workout, but I could make that up after he left. All would have been pretty good still. Ha ha, of course not! So we part ways Saturday morning and I head into work. One, I’m sad pants because I don’t know when I’ll see him again, and he’s heading off to his dream job in his dream location while I’m heading into work at a job I hate with no idea what the future holds. Two, I was listening to Harry Potter (Stephen Fry version for the win!), and naturally the part I’m at on the way to work is: And three, I’m having major issues with work. I’m leaving in October, everyone knows I’m not signing my contract now, so what did people do all day on Friday? Ask me what I was doing next. It’s the natural thing to ask…only problem is I HAVE NO FREAKIN’ IDEA. Please stop asking me, it just makes me feel that much worse that I’ve got NOTHING planned and have NO clue what I want to do with my life. So I pull into work, I’m already sad pants, and I just kill time on the internet for hours. Seriously – I checked facebook, I checked here, I read dumb articles on BuzzFeed – hours of doing absolutely nothing, and not even anything productive for me personally either. I could not make myself work. I don’t know if it’s because I’m the only one in the office on Saturday, or because my work load has been ridiculously unsustainable for half a year and that now that it’s calmed down I’ve forgotten how to work like a normal human, or if it’s because I know I’m leaving, or if it’s because they’re used to me not hitting deadlines that I know I can get away without doing anything, or…I don’t know. But I couldn’t force myself to work, and after three hours, I figured I should just call it a sick day and go home. Plus the what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life is just nagging in the back of my head. Journaling hasn’t worked, talking it out hasn’t worked, so I went to the office gym, hoping maybe sweating it out would help. It didn’t. So I left work, and I’m focusing on how much mental turmoil I’m in, and Harry Potter starts playing again, and I just want to talk to my mom because she always knew the right thing to say and would help me figure this shit out, and…and I just start crying. That’s where it goes completely downhill. Emotionally ate some fast food, because I just did. Then later that night after doing the life quest part (see below), ate some more. Obviously didn’t go to the gym to make up my workout either. Ended up taking a sick day Sunday and moping around a bit with my crying hangover, but I was going to do better. Put off the gym until the late evening, but finally when I was dressed and about to leave a friend called, and we ended up talking for two hours, at which point the gym was closed. Then I was so, so tempted to order food. The weekend’s been a wash, I haven’t met any of my goals, I’m starting anew on Monday, why not? I got really close. I had the TV set up for what I was going to watch when I came home with the food, the place up on my computer so I could call, what I wanted…and then I didn’t do it. Half of it honestly was I just didn’t want to drive to get the food, I’ll be honest, but regardless, I didn’t do it. I made some crispy chicken here and it was enough, and then I went to bed. So, new week…things will go better this week! Hetero-lifemate is now long distance, which I think is much healthier for me, and I just need to get over the hump of craving bad food and get back in the gym and I think I’ll be golden. If anyone has any suggestions for how to be okay at work or how to figure out what to do with my life, because it’s pretty depressing at this point, please let me know! Quest 1: Eat processed food no more than 4 times a week Fail. The fast food foray bumped it up to 7 times. I almost feel like the fast food should be weighted as more than 1, because I feel like I did much worse than just 7. Quest 2: Weight train 3x a week 2/3. So close to that third one, but didn’t make it. Quest 3: Walk, preferably outside, slowly increasing duration 20/40 minutes. When I went to sweat it out in the office I chose the rowing machine instead of walking, because I wanted to make up miles for the mini-challenge and I thought I would feel the burn more. (Oddly enough, no. Found it easier than walking at a brisk pace.) Figured I would walk when I went to the gym, but that ended up not happening. Life Quest: Spend at least one hour a week cleaning out my storage unit My one success! Well, sort of. I’m counting it. On Saturday, after the wash of a day, I figured I would clean out my car, since the trunk has been unusable for over a year, the backseat was getting to that point, and I had no room for boxes from the storage unit anyway. I haven’t cleaned my car out since before my mom died, which I know because the bag of pajamas they told me to bring to the hospice (that she never used) and the paperwork from the funeral home were buried in the trunk. Cue more crying! Ugh. However, the whole car is emptied (if still dirty), which took an hour and a half, and I put away the things I brought into my apartment instead of leaving them in a box, which took another half hour. So two hours of emptying that included mom stuff so I can empty the storage unit later – I’m counting it.
  11. Well thank you. If it's those fast zombies though, no amount of training is going to help. I just hope it's over quick. Look at that Atlantonian! Nice. I like rewarding myself. I mean, it's all about the achievements you're making in your life, the improved mobility and health, etc etc etc...but sometimes I just want some swag. I'm thinking maybe this one might have to be a reward for one of these times, maybe when I hit a certain lifting number or something: Yup, I'm in Vegas...but maybe not by October. My job end then and I'm not sure what's next, but probably relocation is involved.
  12. Yay! Welcome to the lovely West Coast! I can't believe you have to start at work already! Definitely take the pass - you've got quite a bit on your plate at the moment. Here's to hopefully loving your new co-workers and finding the perfect place that is cheaper than you expect, right near the perfect gym, and not next to an In-N-Out.
  13. Tried to make up for being the team slacker by doing the row machine on my lunch break. (Sorry teammates - these little dwarven legs take a long time to cover distances!) I found rowing an easier task than walking at a brisk pace...I do believe I'm strange. Bonus is with the modifier that bumps our eastern team up to over 50. What do we find?
  14. So true. I've found myself caught in that trap every time - "I loved that delicious recipe I tried this week...well, better find something new and exciting to try for next week instead!" So silly. I eat pretty much the same thing every morning for breakfast (eggs, bacon if I've got it, some fruit), and growing up we probably only cycled through maybe 10 different dinners ever. I even order the same thing 80% of the time when I go out to eat (I do so love my chicken strips...). Yet for some reason as an adult I don't just make the same 5 dinners every week, I'm always looking for new recipes to try (sometimes to almost all new recipes for the week), etc. That's so weird, and I have no idea why I do it. Hmm...
  15. Aw, shucks. I think I look more like I'm bored and less like I'm planning my future act of righteousness, but thank you for the compliment. We'll start our own little Vegas cult of NF... Also, sorry to burst your bubble, but I reign supreme as the slowest runner. I've been passed by walkers. -sigh- I've gotten somewhat better (pre-knee death), but when I started I did the Fat Person Shuffle. It felt like jogging, but not so much. I remember reading No Need for Speed, where he talks about being slow and back of the pack with his 10 minute miles, and thinking about how my best mile time ever was in middle school at was 12:13. So. Slow. Just remember, we don't have to be the fastest in the zombie apocalypse...we just have to be faster than at least one other person.
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