DarK_RaideR

@deftona @RES Literally the 5 first links Dr. Google came up with https://www.clinical-partners.co.uk/for-adults/adult-adhd-add/test-for-adhd https://www.psycom.net/adhd-test https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/adhd-quiz#take-the-quiz https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/adhd/?layout=hide_progress https://add.org/adhd-test/ Bonus https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/ https://exceptionalindividuals.com/candidates/neurodiversity-resources/neurodiversity-quizzes/adhd-quiz-test/ https://www.adhdcentre.co.uk/adhd-quiz/

Challenge Day 18: Thursday, September 28 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat No expenses today, though I'm paying tolls on the road to and from the airport when I'm picking my dad up later today. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment As mentioned, I did some tests this morning, fully aware they're not supposed to replace a proper diagnosis but be more of a first feel if one should look further into it. For that reason, I did a bunch of different tests to get different opinions and although the questions were more or less the same, I did provide spontaneous answers and all of them seem to indicate I'm there or borderline just before it. Two things to be noted though. First, "self diagnosis" through memes can always be a trap, because they all rely on relatability, so there's always the chance of something describing some sort of frustration you can relate to and BAM you've made the erroneous logical leap into assuming you might have that thing. Two, diagnosis seems to look for, among other things, chronic symptoms (which I've had, although I don't recall having most of them during my years as a child) and those issues being problems to one's daily function (which mine aren't, at least not in some major life-impacting way). This does however confirm two of my original positions: one, adhd is a spectrum rather than a black/white thing and two, I'm not exactly looking to treat this thing if it's there, because it's not crippling, I'm more interested to know if that's what's actually happening in my head. Giving myself some leeway on this for the weekend, as I'll have my dad around and the trip on Sunday. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house As expected, did all the cleaning just before I meant to hop on the shower and drive off. Thought I'd update here first and while I was typing, my dad called to let me know his flight is delayed. Bonus mention, I did some decluttering in the kitchen. The oddball goal: Duolingo Actually lost 4 hearts in a single Spanish class, so I only did a couple of German classes before I lost my last heart there. Since the flight's delayed, I might hop on now and do a few more lessons.

So I got curious this morning and did a few five online tests...

Thanks all. Feels like I needed to get that out of my chest. Guess you now have a better idea of where my head's at and I'm certain it's still affecting me on many levels. Just having to explain that story last night compounded the sadz of being back from my trip, so I'm guessing it was the reason I just couldn't fall asleep. Eventually I got out of bed and made 2 extensive posts on 2 different forums I've been postponing for about 2 months each: one in the RPG play-by-post forum where I'm DMing a 1e Pathfder game, in which the players just sprung an ambush, meaning I had to calculate everything, put up maps, resolve, narrate and explain it, the other in the forums of Total Extreme Wrestling where I've been doing a diary much like those I used to do on my past challenges, which I'd left right before one show where I had the backlog of results but had to turn it into a narration, format and post it. Once those were done around 6am, I finally collapsed onto bed and got some sleep untill around 10, when I was woken up by a phone call. Which brings me to another thing I've been thinking about in a while, ADHD. More on this in a moment. Challenge Day 17: Wednesday, September 27 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Had to go out and buy a sack of dry food for the cats. Also treated myself to takeout because what I'd had for dinner never really hit the spot. Things are starting to get a little tight. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Due to the wonky sleep schedule from last night, I didn't get to do much practical stuff in regards to this;it was mostly introspection, which brings me to the ADHD I mentioned earlier. I haven't much thought about it in the past, probably because mental health awareness hadn't been that much of a thing but also because I'm guessing I considered you'd have to suffer from a crippling, almost cartoonish lack of focus in order to be diagnosed with ADHD. Lately, I've been starting to see things in a different light though and I'm seeing stuff you could call suspicious. Mind you, I'm trying to scrutinize things well before linking them to ADHD, so I'm not counting, say, a (to-be-expected) shorter span of attention due to the pace of modern life, social media etc, or what @Heidi recently dubbed TeenageBrain (that FOMO-esque sense of being unable to enjoy what you're doing because you constantly think you'd rather/should be doing something else). Much like with the first post of this thread, I'd written a long extensive analysis, in which I broke down basic ADHD symptoms and examples of how I might have been displaying them, from start/stop excitement with hobbies and projects, forgetting where I've parked or what I wanted to say, interrupting people even without meaning to, geting random bursts of hyperfocus etc. Then, much like with the first post of this thread, I deleted it all and settled for these few lines. I mean, even the urge to explain extensively and the habit of getting lost in that explanation, even before I start telling a story or making a point is probably a symptom unto itself. Hyperfixating on writing all that only to then delete it on a whim, is probably a symptom. Providing extensive background even when it's not quite needed (see my previous post and all the info before actually narrating what happened to The Barman's dad) is probably a symptom. My occasional rants and frequent use of parentheses to interject thoughts is probably a symptom. There's no need to extensively describe my experience, just look up a random page of ADHD memes and I relate to about 75% of them (because many also involve that AHDH/autism combo). I'm not a specialist and I'm not self diagnosing here. I'm just saying the hints are all there and I might have to consider a diagnosis. It could help. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Didn't get to do that cleaning today. Most likely gonna go berzerk tomorrow right before I set out to pick up my dad from the airport, which is when I'll do this and probably a few other things just because of my mind switching into lazer focus mode before an event or deadline. Again, might be a symptom. The oddball goal: Duolingo Classes done on both languages, think I did a good bunch of lessons on each.

Challenge Day 16: Tuesday, September 26 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat The expenses, OH LAWD THEY COMIN. Was to be expected, I suppose. Still keeping things under control, more info on the details in the next goal's update. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment I was told this morning that another colleague quit my former employers, this one a decent dude who was debating of pulling the trigger around the same time as me. He had stuff to do at the courthouses today and plenty of free time after that, so we arranged a meet up for an update. Since my dad's landing on Thrusday evening and I'll pick him up from the airport, I took the car for a wash (€€) and met the guy for a coffee (€€). We caught up and I was informed another girl from our social group is planning to quit next week, so we all arranged to meet that day and the next one after work. Hit a nearby butcher shop (€€) for something to cook later in the day, then got the clean car and drove to the supermarket (€€) for the most basic and limited of groceries. Didn't spend much time home after that, just set out for the post work coffee/beer (€€) and now I'm back home posting this update after I've cooked dinner. Oh, forgot to mention, I was at the meeting spot about an hour earlier in the evening, so I brought my laptop with me and did some update on my list of things to do. This wasn't just formatting, I actually looked some stuff up. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Didn't do the cleaning, was a toss up between that and taking the car for a wash. Decided to handle the car first since I'd be going out anyway, so the cleaning should happen tomorrow. The oddball goal: Duolingo Did my classes on both languages. I was today years old when I discovered you don't have to complete all lessons in a module to move to the next chapter, but you can also choose to take a slightly harder test and jump to it immediately. I'm still taking the step by step approach on the Spanish, which I know very little of, but as far as brushing up my German, this was a blessing and I can stop wasting time repeating the same simplistic exercises over and over again. Alright, confession time. Spoilered in case you can't handle (trigger warning) police brutality.

Challenge Day 15: Monday, September 25 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat It was return day, unfortunately. As far as this goal is concerned, I did pay for train tickets to and from the airport. Also I went into this with less than 100 pages left on the book I was reading (Mona Lisa Overdrive) so I spent the 9.99 to also grab Wyrd Sisters for the road. Oh and since I got home past midnight with only breakfast all day, I did also spend a bit to grab a pizza, some of which was saved for the next day. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Didn't expect anything here with the all-day travel, but I still got restless (ADHD?) during the second flight (transit via Paris) and pulled out the laptop to compile an extensive list of things to be done within the next several days, so I'd say it went pretty well, all things considered. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Nothing new here, although I should say the cats had made up a bit of a mess while I was gone. Totally justified, not blaming them. Had some cleaning up to do and might have to do some deeper cleaning as well. The oddball goal: Duolingo Somehow I managed to do my lessons while waiting for the last plane to park, as well as on the train home. This was just before midninght, so I still kept the streak alive.

Challenge Day 14: Sunday, September 24 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat No expenses as far as I can remember The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Let's be honest here, I didn't do anything towards this goal and I've used up my two days off for the week. Technically a fail, but given the special circumstances I don't feel that bad about it. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house No further news here. The oddball goal: Duolingo Didn't get to do my lessons, so it automatically used up one of those powerups to freeze my streak.

Hey, I can help with that! Oh, you want the mainstream Greek...🥸

Almost. It was actually the left torso and right leg, just so I could flex both tats. Bit silent in here... Let's get some music going and set up the mood. Challenge Day 13: Saturday, September 23 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Still no expenses here, courtesy of my wonderful hostess. I did however get a message from the next door neighbours that the litterbox needs a change. Told them to use some of their own litter or get a bag and I'll pay the cost when I'm back, so that's a commitment for the near future. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment It was a lazy day, so I'm counting it as my second day off of the week. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house No further news here. The oddball goal: Duolingo Found the time to get my lessons in. Also, I got a notification that @Shello is back on Duolingo after a two year absence, so kudos to her! P.S. If you ended up here after @deftona said she's too lazy to update because I practically do this for the both of us, she only had 2 of her 5 freggies for the day.

Just because

Challenge Day 12: Friday, September 22 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Think I sufficiently impressed @deftona with my eating skills* she enthusiastically offered to cover dinner The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Most of the day was actually spent playing videogames (we finally finished It Takes Two) but still got to talk about stuff. Not that much though, most of it was my own inner soul seeking. Looks like there's stuff to be done once I get back. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house I should mention here, there's been some developments. So apparently my dad's been trying to sort things out with a mechanic/engineer for over two years, trying to line up everything, get the necessary certificates etc in order to begin repairs on the wall of their house that used to be my bedroom. Humidity has caused some damage and while the inside is mostly aesthetic, the outside could cause materials to fall and injure a passer by. As I found out, my dad finally had enough and wary of the coming rain, politely asked for this thing to finally get going. Which it has and apparently it's a mess, because someone has to be around in the mornings when the workers are doing their thing. I get how it can be exhausting for my dad, who also has to go to work, but my retired mom could absolutely handle this. That is, assuming she wasn't the type who'd spin it around and make it about her, and how this isn't letting her to make phone calls during the day to push her candidacy and has her too tired to go downtown by the evening, and how she'd made different decisions had she known ahead of time and so on. Narcissists man, they're a handful to deal with. Anyway, I figured it simply makes sense to take a bit of the financial and physical burden off of my dad's shoulders, so I told him maybe come over next week, give me some guidelines and I can do the paintjob on my own, or with a friend or something, he doesn't have to get involved in this as well since he also started doing things at their home. He didn't say yes, but he wasn't adamant against it either, said he'll drop by and we'll see. The oddball goal: Duolingo This is a thing that's still happening. Haven't been making great progress lessons-wise these last few days and DuoLingo keeps updating the content, which keeps bumping me a few notches down. I gotta do the same lessons again and it feels a bit like I've been running in circles, but whatever. As long as I stick with this, it's alright. * They call that burger "Quadzilla" because it's basically 2 cheeseburgers and 2 breaded chicken fillets all slammed into one monstrosity. I call it "a light lil' something for dinner".

Hi back atcha! Always welcome. Only because of the English chill weather. I usually cook about 80% naked a.k.a. in just my underwear. I get that. You should see the supermarket scene around def's residence, so hot right now. Was about to answer "Yes" or "All 3" as I was reading this, but you reached that conclusion yourself already. Rangers gonna ranger and do ALL the things!

How so? Curious on the local food items? Any chance of the internet in China just Chinaing? Challenge Day 11: Thursday, September 21 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Still keeping the expenses at zero. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Had some chats with def bout my plans, brainstormed a couple of fresh ideas but at this point, it basically comes down to employment, whether looking for one in the UK, getting a short term one where I am to make ends meet till the jump (probably after I've quit the legal sector) or a combination of both. It was productive, but it wasn't the full 8 hours because I also cooked dinner as def's Super Best Friend would be coming over. She's a wonderful person and we had a great evening. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Can't do much for the house when you're at the house, right? The oddball goal: Duolingo Had a few cases where I didn't phrase the translation exactly the way DL wanted me to, so I ran out of hearts quicker than I should have.

Sounds like the classier, female version of The Northern Boys to me.

Oh wow congrat... GODDAMIT! Been talking about you last night and that "365 songs" playlist thing, @deftona told me she'd started one of her own after you'd mentioned it, now I've started mine

It's this kind of writing I really love about Pathfinder. Folks at Paizo really knock it out of the park more often than not.

What everyone else said. You are a good person and a kind human being. Also, might I add This reminds me of your NF board of Motivation, or whatever you called it. Just pointing out it's not the job now. You've always been like that ❤️

They aren't, you just start a lesson and one of the possible exercises you could be hit with is "Say the following sentence in X language". Another is "type the following sentence in X language" which I'm getting on both versions, more often on the PC, probably because I'm not getting any speaking exercises on the PC, I'm guessing because it detects I don't have a microphone connected. But I might be wrong. Challenge Day 10: Wednesday, September 20 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Deffy took me to the supermarket and we got some groceries, as her bestie will be coming over for dinner tomorrow. Didn't get to contribute to the bill, but I have offered to cook for them. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment If I'm being honest, it was a pretty slow day. Might as well count it as one of my weekly days off. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Can't do much for the house when you're at the house, right? The oddball goal: Duolingo Still doing these and it's been going pretty well.

Grief sucks, but it's part of the human experience. Take your time to process things, we'll be around.

From my understanding, both? The man I was talking to assumed I was going full barrister/solicitor initially, but once I told him I'm not dead set on that but simply checking the landscape in order to make more informed decisions, he did not point out that other options would involve other (vastly different) procedures. If you can also regain hearts in the app version like Jarric said, I don't think that's the difference maker, unless (like me) she wasn't aware of it. From my experience, the desktop is more comfortable to use when you're typing sentences in the language you're learning. A proper keyboard is easier to use than a phone keyboard, plus sometimes my phone keyboard switches autocomplete to the language I'm learning and it's a bit of a cheat in regards to spelling. Might be my impression, but desktop also gives me more typing exercises. That could however be compensating for the fact that without a mic on my PC, I never get any speaking exercises when I'm on it. It's a gamified tool, much like NF has been with characters and levelling Some people might get motivated by the whole heart thing in order to focus and not lose them. For me, running out of hearts and having to either take a break or practice is a pacing thing: I either need to not rush so much or I'm forced to revise past content. Challenge Day 9: Tuesday, September 19 The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Finally managed to get out of the house and hit the city for a pub crawl. @deftona was kind (and quick) enough to cover transportation and drinking expenses on all three different pubs we went to, but I managed to order and pay for my dinner burger, just so I won't feel like I'm taking advantage of her hospitality. Shout out to those Brewdog guys too, that beef patty/black pudding/chorizo sausage/blue cheese sauce combination is just my thing and it really hit the spot. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment Know what's better than serious/heartfelt discussions with good friends? Having serious/heartfelt discussions with good friends over alcohol. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Can't do much for the house when you're at the house, right? The oddball goal: Duolingo Did all my lessons in the morning before we set out.

It's not that bad actually, at least according to my experience. With German, it's got me on a much lower level than I'm actually at, so most mistakes are typos or me not answering in the exact way Duolingo wants me to. In that sense, I tend to want to do a ton of German lessons every time and get on with it; hearts help with the pacing so I can stop and let things sink in. Besides, I'm not rushing to complete the classes, I'm looking for regular contact with the language so I can brush up my knowledge of it. With Spanish, it's a reminder that I'm probably rushing, especially with the vocabulary. Here's the thing though, I happened to run out of hearts while doing my first lesson of the day in Spanish, so I figured it wasn't enough and chose "Practice" instead (the little dumbbell icon inside a circle on the bottom left if you're on a PC, doesn't seem to appear on the phone app). You know, might as well revise stuff since I got stopped. Turns out that completing a Practice session restores one of your hearts. Follow me for more life hacks Looks like I haven't posted some music in a while. Now let's see, is there a song about being broke but having a good time regardless... Challenge Day 8: Monday, September 18 (had to go back and edit some headers, as I'd messed up the days and numbers. Why yes, I have completely lost track of time, why do you ask?) The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat Still no expenses, though I'm getting mail about bills coming in. Might get to paying them tomorrow. The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment I just got off the phone with the guy I was directed towards, turns out the legal pathway more or less looks like what @Jarric (who I sadly won't be meeting after all, but there will clearly be more opportunities to do so in the near future) told me about the insurance sector. This means things aren't as bad as I thought and all my options are open. Might have to actually start testing the waters with some ad responses, plus get in touch with some recruiters. The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house Can't do much for the house when you're at the house, right? The oddball goal: Duolingo Killing it on both languages. I'd say DL has quickly become my videogame of choice

Up ALL the dates!

Tagging @starpuck because reasons.