Honest_Fia

Hello everyone :-) I'm looking for an accountabilibuddy (is that how you spell it) in the area of Anaheim! Hit me up!

Hello, everyone! Fia here! I joined Nerd Fitness months ago, took on too much, and eventually imploded (classic mistake, right?). Then I gave up. Oops. Anyways, there's research showing that for most people, before fitness becomes a habit they stop and start multiple times. Maybe this is the time where it becomes a habit for me! I'm ready to jump back on the wagon and try again! My main thing that I have to (and I mean have to, because my body is a little messed up) work on right now is flexibility. I'm carrying a lot of stress and tension right now, and I can't even do a proper bodyweight squat! I'd also like to trim off all the excess fat. I used to be a size 2. Now I'm a size ...well, let's not talk about it Given the fact that I'm severely out of shape, very inflexible, and my BMI is on the border of "normal" and overweight", I'm wondering what my workout plan should be. I know yoga would probably be a good idea, and I found this excellent site called "Doyogawithme.com" with free plans for people who are beginners. Other than that though, suggestions? Many thanks!

Hi. Sorry I've been out of it, what's been going on? The challenge is over now, right? I can tell you about some of the stuff that happened since the last time I was here, but if nobody's following this anymore I don't see a point. I failed this challenge hard

Hello everyone! Fia here! I recently went to a crossfit gym with a friend and the guy training the two of us told me that my hips are way too tight, which is why I'm having trouble doing squats and deadlifts properly. He showed me some really fantastic stretches to help loosen them up, and suggested I work on my back as well. That's all great, but I still want to do some sort of strength training, especially anything that will speed up weight loss. I'm kind of at a loss as to what I should do - there is so much out there! So, suggestions, anyone?

Update, 08. July: Went to a crossfit gym after all my classes with a friend, where he met up with another friend. The guys showed me form and my friend's friend figured out that my hips are just insanely, ridiculously tight, which is keeping me from doing proper squats and deadlifts. He showed me a bunch of stretches and said I should make it a goal to work on stretching out my hips and back about every other day or so. They were super helpful and super nice. Midterm at 8AM. Best get cracking. - Fia

Update, July 08: I spend all day looking at tiny print, so big print here on this post. Yay. I'm quickly reaching the NOPE threshold. I've reached the point where I've begun to skip meals and showers (I know, ew) to study, but I've magically found the time to lift twice in the past week. I walk everywhere. Everywhere. And I overheat in anything but flip flops, so I wear flip flops, but I have really high arches which aren't getting support, and my ankles hurt. I've even got flip flop tan lines... So yep, bitch, whine, complain. My books are taking over the condo, there are 19 of them piled up on a chair, the coffee table, and the sofa. I have to go early because I need to print out an assignment...wish me luck on my presentation on Courtly Love in Tristan et Yseut in an hour. And on my ecology midterm tomorrow morning. Every bit of my brain is being used! And it is dyyyyyyyiiiiiiinng. - Fia

So I'm not entirely sure if I SHOULD lift again today, since I quit yesterday and left. Like, some muscles still got used. Do they need time to heal? There's no soreness at all. Other than that, it's just after mid-day, and earlier today I took the bus to the farmer's market and went a little overboard. The fridge is now crammed with strawberries (I LOVE STRAWBERRIES. Seriously, I will make myself sick on strawberries and then do it all over again the next day), leeks, bok choy, carrots, radishes, yellow summer squash, zucchini, broccoli, AND I found a pie stand with strawberry-fucking-rhubarb pie. I have not had anything strawberry-rhubarb since I lived in Germany over four years ago and if you have never tried anything strawberry rhubarb you are a poor, deprived, lost soul. Oh, and let's not forget the amazing, beautiful, wonderful cheese stand I mentioned in a previous post. They remembered me, and I saw that they had quark and I got way excited, because there are lots of amazing German and Austrian pastries that require quark, and I haven't been able to find any here. However, if I want some plain quark I apparently have to get there early in the morning, since they have regulars who are originally from Germany who clean them out. I did buy a little block of their smoked firehouse jack (peppery and smoky!) from them though. So yeah, I really love the farmer's market, in case you can't tell. I also picked up a couple of bottles of red wine from an adjacent BevMo (watch me take around three months to actually getting around to opening one). My workouts have gone to shit but at least my diet hasn't, right? Except my sweet tooth rages at times and my roommate keeps diet coke in the house, so I've had two this week, which by my standards is pretty awful. What do you all do to quiet the sweet tooth? I love dark chocolate (I like it at 73% cocoa, I haven't tried anything higher, but maybe I should!), and I miss peanut butter sooooo much. That used to do it for me, but other than cheese I've been trying to stick to a mostly paleo diet. Right, and I was recently introduced to boba and it takes so much will power to not be getting boba every single day. I know it's really starchy, plus I don't like the milk teas, so I get the fruit ones and I know those are just packed with sugar. Yikes. But nom nom nom. - Fia P.S., links to recipes using leeks and bok choy are more than welcome.

Well, personal experience has shown me that there will be some initial weight loss and toning up because hey, look at that, your body is moving for once, and then NOTHING.

Update, 05. July 2014: Rage quit studying today and walked to the gym, where I met up with a friend. Didn't quite manage 3 sets of 10 bench press with just the bar, it was more like 10-8-6. I argued with my friend over fitness topics (usefulness of all those machines, his claim that weightlifting doesn't build cardiovascular endurance, etc.), got upset, and left the place. I really shouldn't care if somebody is wrong but I feel like if I say "I've spent a lot of my time reading about these things" they should at least consider that before blowing off my point. Like, I'm pretty sure it's not a disputed fact that you do NOT go up on your toes, bring your heels off the floor, and bring your knees over your toes when you do a squat, especially not when you decided to just load a bunch of weight onto your back. I know staying on your heels and keeping your knees behind or at your toes is definitely not "impossible". Still, I shouldn't care. Only he'd hurt himself, and he's my friend, so I should care? I don't know. I told him I was worried about my midterm and left. All I got in was 3 sets of bench presses and 2 sets of squats before I had had enough, so I don't think I'll count today. - Fia

Update, 03. July 2014: I had a nice long walk on the beach today. It wasn't much in the terms of exercise, but I'm running myself absolutely ragged and I'll take what I can get. I just had some sort of mental moment while I was out there. Warning: some pretty intense sharing is coming up. But I've done a good job of keeping my identity anonymous thus far so it's not like I feel TOO exposed, and if you are going to judge me, then I guess you'll just stop following me if you feel so strongly about it, won't you? I'm not going to say much about it, but the real reason I left the school a year and a half ago wasn't some vague bullshit about figuring things out and finding myself, as I've been telling most of my family and friends. I tried to kill myself, and the school's solution was to throw me out because they saw me as a liability. Right before I tried to do that, I said some really bad things to people I loved because I wanted to push them away and I wanted them to hate me. It was complicated, it was fucked up, and I was fucked up after years of abuse and bullying and all sorts of issues that I wish I could have overcome, but I didn't. I succeeded in making my loved ones hate me, and as you can tell, I lived to regret it. I thought I'd never be able to come back to this school again without falling apart, never think about those people I loved again without feeling pain and soul crushing guilt, and never walk on a beach again without wishing I could go back and change things. Don't get me wrong. I'll always carry guilt and pain because I caused pain. I think about them all the time, and I miss them, and I just can't forgive myself. But I walked on the beach today and it was weird, because I thought of all those people I love who won't talk to me anymore, and I smiled, because I loved them and we had some damned good times. And I smiled because the sun was kissing my face, and I was on the beach, and I could see the mountains and the cliffs and the islands and it was just too beautiful by far. And it's weird because I'm crying as I write this but I'm not entirely sad, either. I think I finally healed a little bit today. This six week challenge was supposed to be about physical fitness, but the real challenge this past year and a half, and these past few weeks especially, has been learning to be a person again. I don't remember the last time I felt like a person, but I think I did at one point and I'm starting to remember now. I hope this type of sharing isn't inappropriate. It's just, something told me "hey, it'll be okay!" and that's not something my brain usually does, and it was just so fantastic. Talk to all of you very soon, Fia

Keep it up! Love seeing you succeed (and yes, I DO think you are succeeding) - Fia

OH MY GOD I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO UPDATE TODAY. I lifted weights today! My friend and I went to the gym and he showed me proper form for deadlifts, squats, and bench press, and observed me while I tried it. It felt GOOD. But I can already feel the soreness coming on. Also, I was super scared of bench pressing even the bar because I've alwaays been on the weak side, but in total I must have done almost 40 reps (I know, I know, unnecessary, but he really wanted to make sure I had proper form!) Five pounds down. Wish I could have done more but it's time for midterms. I'm noticing that the exercise helped my focus. Eating (mostly) clean. Lots of cheese. I feel bad but the local farmer's market has an amaaaaazing cheese stand. Like this cheese...you all don't know what you're missing. Seriously. Also getting screened for ADD and did the preliminary test today. Basically, a score above 50 means I should get a formal diagnosis done. My score was 82. Oops. Lol. I'm feeling great Thanks for checking in! - Fia

Update, 24. June 2014: Failing so hard at this challenge. No exercise these past few days beyond a lot of walking and moving boxes around so I could get all settled in to the new condo...it's a lovely living situation, I think, I'm just sad that it will only be six weeks, and then right back to my parents. My life is a mess right now. Problems with the bank, problems with the class schedule, problems with the landlord. Though I suppose, if I could make it past the last few weeks, and the next six weeks coming up, I can make it through anything, right? I'm back at my university, cramming 16 units into six weeks so I can hurry up and graduate. I just want to move on with my life. I think at this point it is necessary to reconsider my goals for the remainder of this six week challenge. Perhaps I should focus on making sure my dietary choices don't go to Hell instead of exercising almost every day of the week. I so want to get in shape, though! Would it be beneficial to lift, even if I only managed once a week? I'm going to try my best to make it two, but we'll see how my schedule settles. Almost every waking moment yesterday (first day of class) was spent either reading or in lecture. Though, funny story, I wanted to get ahead so I did the entirety of one class's reading for the week, panicked because I was totally lost, asked the professor today, and he said "Uh, well you should be lost because I haven't covered that yet." Important lesson learned: if I'm struggling with the text, there's no point in sitting at the table and grappling with it for three hours. There is nothing to be gained. Better to wait until the next day and ask a TA or professor. Anyway, didn't want to keep you guys waiting. I need to read Erec et Enide, some stuff on ecology, some stuff on anthro, and write a short paper before this day is done :/ I'll update soon when I manage to exercise. - Fia

Thank you! I have a question for everyone as well. Sometimes (and it varies depending on the workout), my energy levels go back up, and if it's a day where I don't have work or school, I get bored and antsy. Do I work out again, or do I just find something else to do and avoid running the risk of overuse injuries? Is it okay to do low impact stuff in this case? - Fia

Great job with keeping up on the breakfast thing...I would have given up after three days or so I just fast now as an excuse >.> Keep it up! -Fia

Update, 20. June 2014: I woke up late this morning, did the warm up on the site, and did only 1.5 circuits of the beginner's bodyweight workout. I could blame constant interruptions from my dad, but to be honest, I could have kept going, only I got bored. The beginner circuit doesn't kill me the way it did 3 weeks ago, and so I get much less satisfaction from doing it. I'll be browsing assassin forums looking for a new circuit today. Lots to do today, hoping to wake up super early before I move tomorrow and go workout at the elementary school playground nearby after my run! I'm excited to try the playground workout! YiS, Fia

Hey Domino! Great job sticking with the challenge so far! I think you're doing great Congrats on making it to week 2! YiS, Fia

Mugen, I'm so glad I came to return the support that you have shown me. I've read the entire thread and may I just say, you impress me so much? Good job, you're crushing this! So proud of you! Thanks for the inspiration! YiS, Fia

Hey, I fell off the wagon and only managed to do the stretches twice during the actual week. Do I still get points? Feels like cheating - Fia

Update, 19. June 2014: YESSSS. Yesssss. Ran this morning. Wasn't a fan of the searing, burning pain in my diaphragm, but I did it! As for the burning in my diaphragm, I was trying to figure out if it was more that I tend to hold my breath when exerting myself or that I put my body through some pretty bad abuse this week. Likely both. Does not exercising for a whole week have such a dramatic effect? YiS, Fia

Update, 19. June 2014: It's 2AM. I should be in bed. I'm not. I just wanted to say, thank you. It's finally sinking in that everything will be fine, and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone for constantly repeating it. I finally feel up to kicking ass on my run tomorrow (and looking at pictures of The Blerch helped). Good night! - Fia

Hey, So I'm assuming I'm among friends here, even some friends who were overweight before, or are overweight and struggling with it, or are even beating it. I'm sure there are people on here who have felt insecure about the way they look, too, so my question is, how do you guys deal with it? How do you embrace it? I've had family members and other people commenting on my looks for as long as I can remember. I used to be under 100 pounds, then got severely depressed and shot all the way up to 150-ish in four years, and my family has been commenting and calling me fat ever since. I've had total strangers tell me I'm ugly, and I've also had people tell me I'm one of the most beautiful people they know, but of course I think they're lying because they're my friends. I lost a lot of weight and gained a lot back, but I'm not nearly as heavy as I was in high school, so that's a plus. I always think that people are judging me on my appearance and especially my weight. I am scared to be noticed. I'm Miss Frumpy for a reason. Do I have to have a flat tummy again, dress up, and do my makeup every day to be worthy of notice? Somebody even told me once that I don't deserve an attractive partner until I do, and sometimes, with the whole prevalence of this "no fat chicks" mentality that a lot of guys seem to have, I feel like I wouldn't be able to get a partner regardless of whether or not I deserve one (Important note: dating is soooooo far from my main priority right now. The reason I mention this story is because it horrifies me that somebody felt that it was their place to say something like this, and that they felt totally comfortable doing it. It further confirms my belief that people see me and judge me for my weight, clothes, and on most days, complete lack of any makeup whatsoever, and that every time I was interested in somebody, my appearance was a huge factor in my rejection, as I have never not been rejected). Anyways, what do you guys tell yourselves to help you embrace who you are? I firmly believe that everyone deserves love and kindness, and yet I don't give myself any. How do you change a thought pattern that is so deeply ingrained? If any of you have stories that you want to share, especially if you think I could learn from them, I'd appreciate that so much. Of course, if you want to share so you have somebody else to cheer you on, I'm more than happy to do that, too. Thanks everyone, Fia

Hey, So I have always loved superheroes since I was a little girl, but I was always deterred by a lack of money to go buy comics, and then the fact that there's SO MUCH MATERIAL. Where does one begin? YiS, Fia

Update, 18. June 2014: My dad just got assaulted (he's okay, the thing that worries me most is he won't tell me why until he gets home), had to explain therapy animal law to the new landlord. I wish I was kidding about any of this...life won't cut me a break this week, or any of my family. Ready to flip a table into a window. How do you guys release rage? Good news: That pressure and pain in my head? Very likely tension headaches, so I should take Chris-Tien Jinn's advice, most likely, and work on breathing, relaxation, and meditation. Working on packing up my stuff for the temporary move. I know I was told that apologies are unnecessary, but somehow this thread became a way to release my angst, and I'm sorry. Should I continue updating? Or should I wait until I actually work out? YiS, Fia

Update, 17. June 2014: I don't even know what's wrong anymore. Things seem to be working out fine, but I'm in this constant state of anxiety. I don't have work anymore, but it's just temporary (unions are fighting). The problem is I'm spending the day sleeping to avoid the anxiety. Constant pressure at the back of my head which turns into pain when I try to run or jump rope or even go down for a push-up. I feel like I'm suffocating. I should probably see a doctor, but the thing is I probably won't. Or I could try actually taking my meds regularly and maybe that will do something >.> Result: I've been inactive for daaaaaays. I feel gross. I'm lonely. I'm temporarily moving back to my university town on Saturday to finish up my degree. It's only two months, but maybe the fresh start will help? Anyways, that's it, everyone. I'm sorry, I feel like I've been a big disappointment. I'm going to hydrate and do some sort of jumprope routine today - at least, that's the idea. YiS, Fia