ebm1224

i don't post here terribly often lately (though i still <3 you guys!) but i'm dealing with something and i could really use some advice. there are people in real life i could talk to, maybe, but since the person i'm concerned about also knows these folks, i don't want to risk spreading gossip around/etc. so here we go. i'm concerned that someone i care about alot may be developing a drinking problem. he doesn't have any of the tell-tale signs (trouble at work or in relationships because of drinking, etc.) but i definitely find he's getting to a point of excess much more frequently lately. i've always had a fear/issue with vomit so, for me, i always tried to stop drinking before i got to that point. i also tend to feel nauseous when i drink more than a couple of drinks so, basically, i'm not and never have been, a heavy drinker. i realize that others are not like that and that some people will even continue drinking after they've become physically sick. question: is the point where you throw up from drinking important? or is it kind of an arbitrary line? i always figured that when you throw up your body is basically rejecting what you've given it so that's an important point to realize and avoid. but i could be wrong. thoughts? this person was a heavy drinker in his late teens and early twenties. i started spending time with him about 4 years ago and, in the first 3.5 years of that, i know of maybe 3-4 times he got physically sick from drinking. that has happened 3-4 times in the past few months now...and that has led me to be concerned. he might say that, since he doesn't drink as much as he used to, when he does drink to excess, he has a tendency to get drunker on less...like he doesn't know his own tolerance and overdoes it more frequently. i can understand that but i'm surprised he doesn't learn from his experiences and adjust the next time he drinks (again, i realize this is all sort of based on trying to avoid getting sick which obviously doesn't bother others). anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated even if you just want to tell me i'm overreacting

hey kids...long time no see. i used to post here alot towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year. i graduated in december and then life changed alot (got a grownup job, moved) and i kinda fell off the nerdfitness bandwagon. not that i wasn't a huge fan of the site...i just really kinda moved away from using the computer when i wasn't at work. so here i am now, though, and i feel like life is going really well in alot of ways (job, boyfriend, finances) but other areas have taken a hit recently and it's bringing me down...and i need to find some help. so i've decided to reach out to you guys for some support again. i'm also seeking out some other means of support (boyfriend, friends, perhaps a therapist) but there's something nice about this community that used to always inspire me. and i feel like i could use that right now. so a little summary of where i've been, where i am now, and where i'd like to be: throughout my life, my weight has fluxuated quite a bit. i was always a little on the heavier side but not what most people would consider fat. i also have a russian/polish background so i have that sort of curvy/pear-shaped thing that is common in that genetic group and i've found ways to sorta dress thinner than i actually am. i've also dealt with some medical issues over the years that have affected my weight. back in high school i got down to about 120lbs (i'm 5'4") simply because i had no appetite for several months. i had a similar situation about 3 years ago and i got to about 125 without even trying...just wasn't hungry (and when i was hungry, it was usually for junk food and carbs). i loved how i looked back then but hated how i felt because i wasn't feeding my body properly. since that low point weight-wise a few years ago, my weight has gradually increased. i try to work out but am consistent with it in varying degrees (a good month here, a bad month there for example). my diet has been about the same i think the whole time. i definitely realize i have some bad habits (portion control, eating when i'm not hungry, and loving sweets/carbs way too much) but i also have some good points (i love fruits and veggies). last december i had been on nf for a few months and really got dedicated. i tried paleo for 30 days in january and was working out 3-4 days per week (even trying the stronglifts program). i was about 145-155 during this time though i did drop about 5lbs in the 30 days on paleo. unfortunately, since my paleo experiment ended (i liked it and have learned alot of lessons from it but i don't think it is something i'd want to stick to full time) the weight has gradually crept on. couple that with the stress of job-hunting after a temp assignment ended in april, moving in may, and basically sitting on my ass 8 hours a day for the last 4 months. currently i'm about 160 (close to the heaviest i've ever been) and i absolutely hate it. i feel incredibly self-conscious whenever i'm with friends (most of whom are just ridiculously beautiful and skinny) and even with my boyfriend (who says he doesn't care and is still attracted to me and all that...but i don't feel sexy). i'm just at a point where i'm really fed up and annoyed because i feel like all the reading i've done (both here and everywhere else) just isn't giving me what i need. and i'm wondering if this is just how i'm meant to be and if i should just stop fighting it. jeez, this post is long. the things i'm frustrated with: 1) i bought into the idea that "little changes add up" but that just doesn't seem to be the case for me. i've made alot of little changes...but nothing changes. 2) i just found out about a month ago that i have a thyroid condition and just started taking meds for it. i was hoping that maybe some of this weight gain was related to that but so far, the meds haven't made a difference on the scale. 3) i've never successfully lost weight on purpose. when i lost weight a few years ago, it was due to a medical issue and i basically ate crap for months...just not enough to sustain my weight i guess. it does weird things to your head when the only time you've ever lost weight was done by eating hostess cupcakes and bagels. 4) i feel like the people in my life won't help. i've been totally honest that i've gained weight (not that i'm fooling anyone) and feel like i've put enough feelers out there that people should pick up on the fact that i'm really looking for some hard-core support. i don't know if people are shy to offer help or don't care or what. 5) i don't know why my weight is so tied into my self worth. i've begun to have some serious self-esteem issues in the past few months and i think alot of it relates back to not feeling good in my skin. it's annoying that those two things are related so closely in my head. the things i know i'm just bitching about for no reason: 1) i know my diet isn't great. i'd even go so far to say that it sucks these past few months. 2) i've had some consistency working out the past few months but i know i haven't done enough - especially to compensate for the crappy diet and ass-sitting at work. 3) i know it's not my friends's responsibility to help me with this. i know what to do, i just have to do it. the things working against me: 1) working 8 hours a day sitting on my ass. 2) i don't have a great kitchen set-up at the moment. currently sharing a kitchen with family and it can be complicated to cook healthy meals when everyone is trying to cook/eat at the same time. i should have a fully functional kitchen again in a few weeks though. 3) i no longer living in a pedestrian friendly area so, if i want to go somewhere, i pretty much have to drive. 4) there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to sleep, work, work out, cook, clean, etc. i have no idea how people with kids manage. the things working in my favor: 1) gym membership (with a gym super-close to my house) 2) elliptical machine and weights at home 3) a few friends nearby who are sometimes game to work out together 4) a wonderful boyfriend who supports me no matter what so there we have it. super long so, if you read all that, you deserve a cookie or something. i feels really good to get all this out in the open instead of having it swirling around in my head. i really want to believe i can do this but all the wisdom in the world just hasn't made a difference like i want it to. i don't want to be one of those people who only drinks water and eats chicken and broccoli for every meal...and from everything i've read i don't have to be...but lately it seems like only 100% perfection will yield results. i guess the only thing to do is get back on the horse and keep tryin different methods and see if something sticks. thanks for listening, nerd fitness friends. i've missed you guys

i saw that on netflix the other day and it sounded interesting and entertaining. now that i've heard someone's seen it and liked it, i'll definitely check it out!

i did the ballet/jazz/tap thing as a kid/teen but really want to get back into dance again. i'd like to try ballet again. the thing for me was, when i was a teenager, i felt outta place because, although i wasn't awful, i didn't have the tall/skinny dancers body like so many girls in my classes. it would be really nice to find a place to take classes where women who look like women go.

my boyfriend and i moved in together almost a year ago and set up a joint bank account for shared expenses like rent and groceries. we each put in about the same amount each month. we've each kept our own separate accounts of course for things that are more individual expenses. now that i'm done with school and my temp job is over, i am job hunting again and expecting to be employed in the next 1-2 weeks. my boyfriend really hates his job and we have discussed him leaving once i get situated so that he can find something he likes better. he's been looking some already but his job is such that it's difficult for him to sneak away for an interview and such during the day...especially on short notice. we're finding that most places expect you to come in for an interview with 1-2 days notice...and that just isn't possible given his current situation. we've also started doing a small business on the side. it is strictly commisson-based and we haven't actually made any money yet...but any day now we should! we are currently only doing this part time but we are certainly not as productive with it as we could be if we had more time during the day. so, we are considering him quitting his job and working on this side business full time...at least for now. there are also another couple positions he is interested in that would be solely commission based. because of all this, we are considering switching to a system where we live off one salarly (likely mine) and use the other salary for savings and "extras." this would likely mean that one of us is technically contributing more than the other and things would be less equal. curious if anyone has done something like this before. we aren't married and i've only really heard of married folks using this type of system...and usually it's when one is a stay-at-home parent. how did you arrange it? how did you still have money for individual things if one is making more than the other? 'preciate the advice!

ok so i just got back to sl after being out of town. dropped the weight on my squats down a bit to work on form. i'm not really tech-savy and i have only a mildly bright phone instead of a smart one so i'm not sure if videos are possible...though i'll look into it. what i found is: no, i'm not going all the way down in my weighted squats. i get to about parallel or a little above and then come back up. partially because i'm afraid of going off balance and falling but partially because it's sorta uncomfortable down there. after about parallel i feel like i get some body resistance (perhaps because i carry most of my weight in my hips/thighs area...sorry to be crude but it sorta feels like there's just too much "meat" being squeezed into a small area. anyone else have that feeling? also, going further down than i have been takes a little extra...oomph. like, i'm so used to stopping at a certain point that i have to really think about "i need to go lower." and once i'm down there, there's usually a second where i'm like "shit, can i get up?" hmmm...typed all this and realized i probably should just figure out a way to post a video. maybe i can get my bf to video it with his phone. kthxbai!

congrats on giving this a shot! it's a really great experiment to see how you feel and how your body reacts. even if you don't stick with it (i didn't) you'll learn tons about listening to your body and your own emotional food triggers and such. oh, and don' t worry too much about the fruit for weight loss thing. i ate 2-3 servings of fruit a day and lost about 5-10 lbs in the 30 day period. others will disagree but that's my personal opinion.

congrats on all this! i'm working on my 5k so that is a super awesome accomplishment. also, kudos to your wife - sounds like you two are supporting each other really well!

i can't believe none of ya'll have mentioned that men tend to get better (more distinguished) looking as they get older...while women tend to peak and fade. i'm so jealous of ya'll for that.

alot of men have a hard time just listening to someone's problems...they have it built into them that they have to "fix" everything. it can be hard to do (there's an episode of modern family that explains this so well) but you have to know the difference between when your wife wants you to offer advice...and when she justs wants you to listen to her bitch.

hey all, some friends and i are getting together on april 14th in piedmont park for a picnic and play-day. it's an open invite and everyone is encouraged to bring friends...so i'm inviting my nerdfitness friends! we will be grilling out, drinking margaritas, playing frisbee, and just generally having a chill saturday. festivities start at about 1pm and we will likely be on the large field near the park tavern restaurant (across from the grady high school football field). if you'd like to join us (and feel free to spread the invite), just send me a private message and i'll give you my phone number so we can meet up on the 14th. we are encouraging everyone to bring a dish or drink to share but you're certainly still welcome even if you dont. hope you can make it! emily