cartwheelskeleton

Broom stood with the others at the camp, eyes closed and hands joined with those of two strangers. She could feel Pazu’s presence in one of the many trees behind her as he quietly observed the scene, wings folded around him like a cloak. Shortly after the ceremony began, one of the members was quietly taken aside. Broom shifted her concentration away from the disturbance and focused on connecting with the group, though with little success. It felt as though there were walls separating her spirit energy from those of her companions. What was causing this hindrance? She turned her thoughts inward and reflected… This week was quite emotionally draining for a few reasons, one of which was explained in my individual challenge thread. I've had a lot of difficulty opening up to my friends lately (in-person, at least), and I hesitated to fill them in on what's been going on. Last night, however, I finally built up the courage to talk to my best friend/housemate about everything, and she was much more present/engaged than I expected her to be (more of reflection of my trust issues than of her supportiveness). I was relieved to get everything off my chest, and I'm much more comfortable opening up to her.

I'm pretty sure adult-ing requires 100% for-real bravery, so yes ;D

W2.3 - TLDR; Last night sucked and I'm feeling down. Last night my sister called. Our conversation was actually quite pleasant for the most part, despite our previously rocky relationship (that's an understatement), which has been steadily improving since I left for grad school a year ago. She wanted to talk about something going on at home--nothing major, more neutral than anything--and then moved on to how much she misses me and how happy she is that we're becoming friends again. I reciprocated those feelings, letting her know how good it was to hear her say that because I'd always felt like I was bothering her. That's when the conversation took a rather unpleasant turn. She went on say that although I don't always bother her, I've been "relying too much" on my younger brother in regards to my anxiety/depression, and it's becoming too much of a burden (which he confided in her). He and I both deal with anxiety, mine accompanied by much more depression, so we've always talked pretty openly about it. Now, because he's my brother (and because I perceive us as having good rapport), I've gone to him when things have gotten especially rough. To me, this is a totally normal and acceptable aspect of friendship--being comfortable talking to and confiding in that person. I expect nothing but to be listened to without being judged, nothing more. I listened to my sister go on about how I have to stop "putting all that on him," and I tried to at least end the conversation on a good note and thank her for making me aware of such things (I honestly had no idea it was such a problem). After hanging up, I cried for a good hour or two about it, wondering if I've been a burden to everyone I've tried to lean on. It's a terrifying thought, and although I'm feeling marginally better this morning, I'm still not feeling too great. So, you know, hugs would be awesome.

And that does take a great amount of bravery. Stay strong; you're not alone.

Thanks! I've been using the 5- and 10-minute guided meditations on the app "Calm." It's typically pretty good unless I'm already too restless.

W2.1 This morning was kind of interesting. I got out of bed an hour later than I wanted to, but I felt very light as I made my way to the shower. Lately I've woken up feeling foggy and slightly disoriented, so this was a welcome change. I assume this is what it feels like to be well-rested, haha. Anyway, I got to work and meditated for a bit before starting on my tasks for the day. I'll be going to the gym after I leave the office =]

Great second mini-challenge! I'll be going to the gym today for the first time in a while; I've been avoiding it due to the return of my anxiety, but I think I'm ready to go back. I've also been neglecting a few personal matters, so I'll see what I can do with those, as well.

You're doing so well!! Hope you had fun at the beach!

The static grew louder as Broom shoved the remainder of her belongings into her satchel. It'd been nearly a year since she set foot on Level 1 Island, though she'd wandered off and lost her way only four months following her arrival. With winter returned The Fear, clawing away at Broom's defenses and pushing her ever further from the path. The Fear gradually replaced Broom's battle scars with stones, steadily weighing her down and stifling her progress. "Don't you think it's time you got rid of those?" Pazu's voice softened the static, allowing Broom to focus once more. He had become her familiar at the beginning of the summer, calming her nerves and driving away some of the darkness. "I know you're right, but I'm not sure it's going to be so easy..." Broom gazed at her bag, chuckling a bit at the absurdity of her situation. Could it really be that easy? She picked one up and studied it, feeling the weight of it on her palm, the roughness of its edges. She raised her arm and tossed the stone, watching it strike a nearby tree and fall to the ground. She glanced back at her bag to find that the same stone had returned. "Right..." "Broom, I know it's gotten pretty heavy, so what if you use that to your advantage?" "What do you mean?" "Carrying all that weight builds strength, right? What if you thought of it as a challenge instead of a burden?" He's right, she thought. The stones had increased her negative energy, clouding her vision for months. If she could use them to her advantage, The Fear's hold on her would be almost nonexistent. "Anyway," he continued, "I found a camp not far from here while I was hunting last night. Someone was talking about 'reading stones' or something... Maybe they can help!" Reading stones..? Broom's mental static was replaced with curiosity, and she set off to find this group of strangers.

Hey, thank you kindly! Yeah, I grew up in NE Ohio, but now I'm living in Athens for grad school =] And keeping up with the paleo thing has been pretty difficult with my roomie situation, but I'm still hanging on somehow.

Thanks for sharing!

Do you have a recipe for that pesto??

Oh good! I've got Netflix, so that's convenient. I'll check around on the interwebz for the manga, which probably won't be difficult. I have a feeling that one season won't be enough for me, either.

Where can I find the anime? I just read a description of it, and it sounds right up my alley! Is there a site you recommend for the manga?

FMA! So many tears were shed over that series... And sadly, no! I'm at Ohio University in Athens, OH. That sword is terrifying!

Ooh, I'll have to check her out! If she's anything like Erza, then she must be fantastic <3

Anecdote Unrelated to My 6WC, but Still Relatively Entertaining Some background info: I work as a graduate assistant on the first floor of OU's library in a seldom-used computer lab with my best friend Hannah. Once upon a time, I was engaged in the happy baby pose on the floor of my office when Hannah walked in, equal parts amused and disturbed. I took a stretching break in between tasks today and again Hannah walked in, thankful that this time I wasn't "doing the ugly baby thing" on the floor. I'm still cracking up about it XD

Thank you! It means a lot to hear such encouragement, although I'm sorry to know that you go through similar struggles. Stay strong! <3

Hello! Just a few things: 1) Welcome back to the community! I, too, struggle with depression and was absent from the forums for quite a while. Know that you have my unconditional support for your journey =] 2) I think your goals are well-planned, and I look forward to reading about the progress you make. 3) Also, I've just joined the RPG Fanatics, and I want you to know that you're a very good writer. Yep, so those are things. Good luck!

Fantastic! I actually made meditation a part of my 6WC, but it won't hurt to add a bit more every day. I'll complete this mini in the morning to guide my day toward progress and reflect in the evenings for my 6WC quest =]