Ryoko

~ Another Comrade Has Fallen ~ This morning I laid to rest to the jewel of my heart. While it was to be expected as he was 16 years old, it was very much unexpected that today would be his final day. I thought I had at least another couple of months with him - I was hopeful he would be here for the holidays. At any rate, I'm thrilled he made it to his birthday last month, and I'm incredibly grateful that I got to spend one last night with him. What a blessing. This morning we drove to the vet; it was relatively quick but incredibly painful (for me, not him). After the vet I drove him to get cremated, which was about a 2.5 hour procedure and ~ 45 minutes away. So I was dealing with this pretty much all day. I saw all of your messages earlier, and I can't thank you enough for the support. I am really touched. Words can't even begin to express what I'm feeling like right now. I'm going to try very hard not to let this affect my training, but it's going to be difficult. Unfortunately I don't have the time to put my training on hold as my next triathlon is in less than 4 weeks. I wish I was able to take a break. But perhaps the training will help to alleviate the grief. Today I thought quite a bit about my favorite poem, and how much it applies to this situation. I kept reciting it to myself, and I think it actually helped a bit since I could relate it so well to what I was feeling. It's one of the few poems I actually have memorized - it sure came in handy! Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. Here he is about a month ago, looking all dapper in his bow tie that a friend handmade for him: Jubei August 11, 1998 - September 18, 2014

Thank you, aeshnidae! Just your supportive words alone help. Really. Thank you! That means a lot. Thank you, Xena. We certainly did have a great run, together. I appreciate your thoughts. Thank you so much! Yes it was so hard. I struggled with it for so long, so I suppose in a way this was a good thing as it finally forced me to make the decision - at this point there was no more question. I really appreciate your understanding.

Thank you - I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. I just didn't expect it to go down so quickly. Your girl is in my thoughts as well. ^.^ Thank you so much Fonzico - he did have an amazing 16 years! He was certainly a little firecracker. ((())) Thank you, Kobnach. I truly appreciate the support. ^.^ Thank you so much! It's more comforting than you can imagine. Just reading the words.

Thank you, forkboy - I did enjoy my remaining time with him. Thank you so much, Ciara.. ((((()))) I really appreciate it - and I'm sorry for you own loss. I do live on my own, but thankfully my family is all nearby, so they were able to be with my today. I so appreciate your offer to call. It means a lot. Thank you - I definitely kept those thoughts in my head. I really appreciate your support! Thank you, jaex. They are indeed great friends - it's a blessing to have them in our lives. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support. It means a lot. ^.^

Those are all good. I recommend the classics - Akira, Ninja Scroll, Ghost In the Shell, Vampire Hunter D, Cowboy Bebop. Moribito is a personal favorite. And of course, anything by Miyazake is magnificent. ^.^ Grave of the Fireflies is hauntingly beautiful. It's quite sad, though.

*** Day 3 Results *** Quest 1 - Improve My Training Schedule As previously mentioned, I woke up early today and did my morning run! It was only a mile, but it felt great getting out and on the track. I stopped by the triathlon store to see my Coach today and pick up a wetsuit rental - I have it for one week. I got a sleeveless one. It was my first time in a wetsuit, and I have to say...I felt like a sausage. o.O I imagine this is what a sausage would feel like, if it could. I hope to sign up for a open water swim trial run on Sunday, but that will be contingent on a phone call I need to make tomorrow. I was planning to go swimming and biking this evening, but my plans changed when I got home. More on that below. Quest 2 - Improve my Diet Today's menu was as follows: Breakfast: Smoothie Lunch: Salad, Potato with veggies Snack: Mixed Veggies, Hummus, Apple Dinner: Homemade Pizza Quest 3 - Improve My Sleep This goal is currently suspended until further notice, as I will likely be up with my little guy quite a bit. Life Quest - Create A Comprehensive Death Plan I received a living will and healthcare power of attorney today, (thank you aeshnidae for your guidance!); I will print it and fill it out later this week. ^.^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Misc When I got home from work today, I took my dog out for a walk. He did his business and was fine, and when we came in, his back legs just...stopped working. He couldn't stand upright, couldn't support himself. I tried to give him some banana and he couldn't chew it (the first time this has ever happened). He's an older guy - he turned 16 last month - and has been going downhill these past few years (most especially this year). He has arthritis and is completely deaf. Often I need to carry him because he doesn't want to walk. He pretty much sleeps all day. The vet confirmed he has a brain tumor on our last visit in May. Although his appetite is fine and he still gets excited and runs around from time to time - so he's not all bad. I got him when he was four weeks old - he has been with me for almost half of my life. He is my gem, my heart. And he is my priority right now, above anything else. I have really been struggling with determining if/when to put him down. I certainly don't want to keep him around if he's in pain, or has no quality of life, but at the same time, I don't want to cut his time short if he still has energy left and is otherwise doing okay. But this afternoon, when I saw him in such bad shape, dragging his back legs around on the floor, not being able to eat, I knew in my heart it was time. I took him to the vet and got him some emergency medicine to last for the next three days. (My regular vet was gone for the night but will be in tomorrow). In my post from this morning, I said that I knew today was going to be a great day. I've known this time was coming for a while now in regards to my dog, and I suppose part of me was in denial. But not anymore. I didn't think little guy was going to make it home with me, it was awful - I was crying and scared. I will be making the toughest phone call of my life in the morning. But I have at least one more night to spend with him. And THAT is what makes this a truly great day indeed.

Thanks so much! Encouragement like yours is what really keeps me going. Yeah, for sure! Now to make it a habit. ^.^ Give all the DOMS to Daniel? Thanks Shello! ^.^

Thanks Katydid! ^.^ Thanks! Hahaha yeah the LMUs are so hard! ^.^ Lol @ platonic domestic partnership! The more the merrier I say. Hi!! ^.^ Naruto is great. I haven't seen Clannad yet - it's on my list. And I know what you mean about the drawings! Lol the more the merrier!

Hahaha I love that pic. Hope you're having a blast!

I'm glad you had a safe flight! Well done on the sugary drink - doesn't it feel great when it's not an impulsive decision, and YOU are the one who decides? That's what I felt like last challenge with my birthday brownie. And crossing my fingers for your 10 minute mile!

You are doing great! And pleasantly sore pretty much sums up my progress with YAYOG to date as well.

Haha that's how I bought my vacuum too!

Lol do we work at the same place? I had a similar day at work. Dinner looks awesome!! Love the pic.

Gah sorry I never made it back today! It ended up being quite a crazy day. I will definitely come back with a few suggestions though - I haven't forgotten! ^.^

Indeed, it is! Congrats.

Glad your third day went better. Good work on the meals! ^.^

Ooh you got DOMS too? I am feeling it after yesterday myself. Hope your track practice went well!

I love your costume!!! You look wonderful. You will have such a wonderful time!

Your SMART goals are great! Well done with this exercise. ^.^

Oh dear...Gunnar is at it again? Puppy patience is truly an art. What an excellent way to look at it!

Oooo intrigued...Spice 6? I haven't heard of that before - it's downtown? w00t for mapping out an awesome 5k! Congrats.

Well that's what I get for flying through posts! Hahaha your description just brought the funniest image into my head. "yes and a separate card for each account kthx"

Hooray! I'm so glad you're feeling better.

They're still just infants.

Totally agree - that's why both my grocery and my weekly spending amounts are all cash. It helps me because it's tangible - I can SEE what I'm spending. And when it's done, it's done. Ditto! I have six. It definitely helps.