Elennare

Whelp, there's that. I have officially received notification that I am going to be laid off. Unless either I or the managers find a new position for me, I have a job through the end of June and then I will be unemployed. At the moment, I'm pretty much numb, likely because of how worried I've been for the last week. In some ways, it's a relief to at least have an answer and a date. But, now there's a whole mountain of other things that need to happen that I don't have time for, and a giant new pile of worries. Which I need to balance with the responsibilities I already have that are currently taking a lot of my time and I am in the process of dropping several balls of dealing with. So yeah. I am not ok. In good news, I got to try a couple of the things we were working on in the clinic on Sunday during practice last night, and they worked. So that was cool.

In job news, I have not yet gotten a lay off notice. In a surprising and slightly positive development, my manager asked me to send her my resume this morning. So, maybe they are trying to find me a different position in the company! Guess we'll see. I do still ultimately think I need to be employed elsewhere, but if they can find me a position that's located somewhere I want to be long-term, I'll probably take it and at least stick it out the year it takes until I don't have to pay back the relocation costs (or the company implodes and they lay me off for real). So, fingers crossed something good comes from that, and/or I find something somewhere else fast! Exercise for Friday and Saturday ended up being 20 minutes of walking, though Saturday also included a trip to Ikea. We now have a new dishwasher, that (better not!) randomly turn itself on, refuse to turn off or select the cycle you actually want to run, or quit halfway through washing the dishes because reasons. Hopefully Husband and I can find time to install it this week. Sunday was...a lot. Little One's derby league set up a clinic with Freight Train. If you don't follow roller derby, she is a VERY high level skater and a great coach. So that was a pretty awesome opportunity. It was 4 hours long, though. Unfortunately for Little One, he could only participate in 1 hour of it, because it was set up with the first hour for L2s, and the rest for L3s. I, however, participated in the whole thing. I hadn't really planned on skating for most of it since it was a clinic for the kids, but they kept ending up one person short when they broke up into groups, so I filled in. She also had me help demonstrate something, so I got to hit her! She was demonstrating a counter block (where you hit back at someone who is hitting you, so you take away the power of it and don't go flying), and I was not prepared for how hard she was going to hit me back. 🤣 It took me 2 tries to figure out how to not bounce off and fall down, but I did it. Her name is appropriate. *cue intense fangirling* So, that was a lot of fun, and I learned some cool stuff, but also, 4 hours of skating is a lot of work. I didn't realize just how tired I was until I laid down on my bed for a minute after my shower, and then my muscles just didn't want to work. I didn't hurt, but everything felt drained. The hurt will likely show up tomorrow...unless I have a bunch of bruises showing up today.

Thanks. Unfortunately, due to some first rate fuckery from my manager, I am almost certainly at the top of the list of people to be reduced. I think the best I can hope for is getting offered a different position in the company, but I think chances of that are relatively small (though my manager asked me to send her my resume this morning, so slightly larger than I had thought initially).

3/25: 172.5 4/1: 172.4 4/8: 176 4/15: 173.4 4/22: 171.9 Technically that's Saturday's weigh-in, but today's is artificially high, so, yeah. The scale is going down, yay! Stress has gone way up, boo! Really hoping the stress level follows the scale, but suspect it's likely to go the other way. Depends very much on whether I get laid off this week or not, but either way having an answer will probably at least temporarily drop the stress level. Last week they announced a big "workforce reduction" at my place of employment, with most people affected being notified by the end of this week. The being in limbo state right now is not great.

Unfortunately not. I had a response from another one, but they wanted me to do one of those stupid record yourself answering questions initial interviews, and it came at a really bad time for me to sit down and do it. Before I had a chance, I got the "thanks but we're not moving forward with you" email. 😖 And also, literally minutes before the meeting where they announced the "workforce reductions," I got a similar email for the remaining of the 2 positions I had applied for at my current company. So, there will be lots of applying for jobs in the coming weeks, and if I can find the time to do it, I think I'm going to go check out the relatively new stem-focused recruiting agency down the road and see if they can do anything for me.

Wednesday was supposed to be Little One's practice, but it got canceled on account of bad weather, including a tornado watch. So, Little Bug and I started the crossfit style workout program I bought a while ago and never tried. He wants to lift weights, and the NF Prime program is taking too long to get us to actual weights, so we're trying something different. One workout in, it kicked our butts. Thursday was scrimmage, but I reffed for it because I didn't want to risk aggravating my leg. I definitely got my exercise, because everyone wanted to play fast derby, so there was a lot of sprinting around the outside of the track to keep up! Food has been meh, but I'm at least eating. Today I got a call back from the company I interviewed with. They really liked me, but apparently in the process of interviewing me and the other person, they realized they needed someone with experience in everything in the job listing, not just some of it, so, sorry. Which is extra unfortunate, because yesterday afternoon there was a big meeting with everyone. Where they announced that due to the delay in the rocket schedule and subsequent reduction in funding from NASA, there is going to be a workforce reduction. A significant one, though they didn't give specifics about how much. And, while they are trying to find new positions for people, the rest of the company is also going through reductions because things are not going great for the company as a whole right now, so it's difficult to find spots. They are letting everyone affected know by the end of next week. As of today I still have my job, but I am fully expecting to get a layoff notice by next Saturday. Time to step up the job hunting...

There's not a lot to report from Monday. I ate ok, and did 20 minutes of yoga before bed. Tuesday I also ate ok, and went to derby practice. I got halfway through it (an hour) before my leg went "ahem." I definitely didn't re-injure it, but it was letting me know that it was still injured. So, I decided that was enough of the high-intensity practice, even though they were working on stuff I really wanted to practice. I need my leg to get better so I can play well, not end up with an injury that's bugging me all season because it's not so bad that I can't play (but not quite at my usual level) but never giving it enough rest to actually heal. There were a couple newer skaters working on some skating basics with one of the coaches off to the side, so I went and joined them. That way, I still stayed on my skates for all of practice, and with the coach's permission, I also gave the newer skaters some tips on things and ended up helping at least one of them get past a mental block with a skill.

Thanks! It would require us to move, but until such time as anything is definitely changing, we're continuing like it's not. Given what I've said for my availability, though, Husband should at least be able to work for a few months, which would get something current on his resume and also show he was hired by a city's municipal department, which apparently is a big deal in his field and once you've got that you're more likely to be able to get similar jobs. It's also a seasonal job so it was never going to be long-term, which is also how working for that kind of organization tends to go - you start with something small/limited time, and then if they like you, you get offered something permanent when it's available. So, even if things don't work out for him to be able to do as much as he'd like, it'll still be a big boost to his future job searches. Also, worst-case option, he could always relocate later than the rest of us. We've got a lot to think about if the job for me becomes a reality, but we're still a ways (at least one more interview) away from that, and we're trying not to get too wrapped up in details of things that are still very much at the level of "maybe."

I mean, what's the point of having a healthy lifestyle if you have to give up your life to have it? Everyone definitely has foods like that. You can have my tasty, sugary coffee creamer when you pry it out of my cold, sleepy hands.

Yesterday was super busy. Couldn't go to church on Saturday afternoon like we normally do, because I had my game and Little One was singing at a minor league hockey game with his choir from school, so we had to get up super early to go at 8am. And then head straight from church to the junior derby games (it was a double header). Well, we stopped for breakfast on the way...where the coffee shop messed up my order and gave me a fancy chai instead of the fancy coffee I had ordered. So I got to do all of the crazy with no coffee. 🥴 So we got to the venue about 45 minutes after we were supposed to, though I had let everyone know we were going to be a bit late, so it wasn't too big of a deal. Except, as the head coach, people needed me to do a whole bunch of stuff pretty much as soon as I walked in the door. And it turned out no one had put together a proper schedule for the day, so I ended up digging up the one we used from the last home bout and making sure it got shared with everyone who needed it. The actual coaching went well, though I had to briefly ask the other coach to do something I usually do in between games so I could run to the bathroom. Both teams played pretty well, but couldn't quite manage to take the win. I am especially proud of the level 2 team, who made the adjustments in how they were playing that we told them to and as a result closed the score gap significantly. And then, after getting some lunch dinner and ice cream, home and time to do the taxes. Because I haven't had time to do them sooner, so pretty much last minute it was! Turns out we're actually getting a refund this year! Thanks to the tax code changes, the last couple of years we've ended up having to pay, so that was a nice (and welcome) surprise. Also, Saturday evening, Little Bug started getting sick. He still wasn't feeling great on Sunday, and pretty much stayed in bed all day. So, we figured he'd stay home from school today. Except, apparently that message didn't make it to Little Bug. And Husband and I got woken up this morning by the sound of him leaving to catch the school bus! So Husband threw on clothes and went and got him back from the bus stop. I was definitely awake, and it was 45 minutes until my alarm was supposed to go off, so I decided to just stay up. On the one hand, I'm annoyed at getting woken up early, but on the other, I am very proud of Little Bug for getting himself up and around for school on time when as far as he knew Dad overslept. My pulled muscle is significantly less sore today. I'm still a little bit worried it's because I've been taking anti-inflammatory doses of advil and once it wears off it's going to be a lot more sore than I think it is, but it actually hurts less than my non-pulled muscles do currently, so it's probably fine. I also forgot a couple big things in my giant update. Husband has a job offer from the zoo! It's currently an informal offer, but that's because they're still in the process of adjusting some things to basically make a new position specifically for him, and once that's finished he's going to get the formal offer. It's part time, but it's also exactly what he wants to do (and is good at), and he got the nice confidence boost of them wanting him to join the organization so much they are making a spot specifically for him. And the other thing for me, is while I was on the business trip I had a screening interview for a position. I think I mentioned that was going to happen? Well, I didn't exactly hear back from that one, but the recruiter contacted me again to say another team had taken a look at my resume and thought I was a good fit for a position they had open and would I like to apply for that one? Here, talk to this other recruiter and take a look at the listing. So I looked at the listing, and the position did indeed sound like something I would be a good fit for, so I let the other recruiter know I was interested, and also formally applied for it. She set up a screening interview for me, and we had that the same day as the science museum trip. Where she pretty much told me "yeah, the team has already decided they want to interview you, so we're just having this call as a formality because the process says we need to. When are you free for the actual interview?" So, I had a real, actual interview last week. The position sounds very interesting and also like something I think I would be really good at. I think the interview went well, but who knows? Not me, until I hear back. So, 🤞!

3/25: 172.5 4/1: 172.4 4/8: 176 4/15: 173.4 Still up from where I started, but down a fair bit from last week! While the number is still nowhere near where I want to be, I am very pleased to see it heading down again. Here's hoping I can keep doing whatever it is that's got it going down.

Giant update time! I survived the business trip. The travel was a little chaotic, but the meeting was productive. It was also neat getting to see my supplier's site. It was a lot more historical than I was expecting. Like, picture quaint Northeastern town, and then factory buildings of the same vintage. I succeeded in making it back in time for Holy Thursday mass, too. Easter was good, even though we didn't manage to find time to dye eggs. Also, Little Bug flat-out asked about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and all that, and has now moved over to being one of the magic makers. He had a blast helping set up the Easter baskets and hid his brother's eggs this year. We got a lovely nature walk in on Easter as well. The rest of the week after Easter was a mix of doing nothing and cleaning the house. Also my birthday was in there. We went to open skate and then to the fancy bubble tea place to celebrate. That was a lot of fun. We also snuck a visit to the science museum in Toledo into there as well. The boys had a blast, so it was definitely worth the drive. Then it was eclipse time! We had my parents and one of our friends from college plus her family staying with us for the weekend, and then a couple of my aunts and uncles came over for the eclipse itself. I set up my telescope to project onto a sheet of paper so people could watch without having to use the eclipse glasses (because even with them, you're not supposed to look at the sun for more than a few minutes), and it worked really well. We even saw a couple of sun spots! Then totality. That was one of the coolest experiences of my life. It got noticeably dark, pretty suddenly. It had been getting a little bit darker as more of the sun got covered by the difference between 99% and 100% was huge. We got almost 4 minutes to see the corona (and prominence! and also the diamond ring, for just a few seconds!), some planets, and also look around. It wasn't middle of the night dark, but it was definitely twilight dark. The sky had a weird, not quite sunset color, and all the birds went quiet. And then when totality was over, it got bright again fast. Almost like flipping a light switch fast. In addition to all of that coolness, it was nice hanging out with everyone. Junior derby is going pretty well still. I am fully the head coach now, but we also have 4 other coaches so I have lots of help. We had a meeting this week to figure out scheduling and some other logistical stuff and have a good plan in place. They have a game tomorrow, which I will be coaching, I think without another coach to help. Well, I'll have a parent running lines, but he's not going to be helping with the actual coaching during the game. I haven't been the only coach before, so wish me luck! Today I had a game. We did not win, but it was a great game. There were multiple times during the game where the lead changed, and the final score was only 20 points different (which isn't very much in roller derby). I think I played pretty well, though I am pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my leg. I had one of my teammates fall on my leg, and according to the people on the bench, I pretty much dropped into the splits! It's been a while since I've done the splits, and my flexibility is not back up to being able to do them yet. Otherwise, I have not been able to get myself on any sort of healthy eating plan, but I have kept up with my exercise.

Proper update coming later this week, but wanted to pop in and say I'm still alive! I didn't get bumped off my flight so was able to be home on time, and also the eclipse was amazing!

I weighed myself yesterday, but wasn't able to post because yesterday was super busy. I had a whole bunch of people over for the eclipse. That was awesome, in the original sense of the word. I am so glad I finally got to see one. Seriously y'all, if you have the chance to see a total solar eclipse, do it! It is worth it. I had a lovely spring break, though I did not get myself set up for healthy eating like I wanted to. I had a couple more treats than normal, but nothing crazy. Which is why I am beyond flabbergasted with yesterday's weigh in. I have no idea what happened, and pretty much all I can do is hope it's a weird fluke and will un-happen just as fast (though my experience of a long time trying to lose weight tells me it won't). 3/25: 172.5 4/1: 172.4 4/8: 176 Up almost 4 pounds, and the heaviest I've been all year by 2 pounds.

3/25: 172.5 4/1: 172.4 Not a whole lot down, but given I wasn't really trying, had a last-minute business trip (seriously, booked Tuesday afternoon left Wednesday morning), and Easter in there, I'm pretty happy with that. I was afraid everything was going to be way up, so any down is great. Hopefully I can get some sort of plan together, and can also manage to make it one that I can stick to with the added crazy of getting things ready for having a bunch of people over for the eclipse...

Tuesday was crazy. Had a busy day at work trying to get a bunch of stuff done on a short schedule (might pull it off, but unsure still). And, the business trip was confirmed to be happening, so I had to book travel with the system not working right. And by the time I got confirmation that the flights that would have been perfect would in fact work with the meeting we had scheduled, they tickets for them had gotten too expensive, so I ended up with flights that get me home later than I'd like. Then I had to take Little Bug to his class, because Husband (who usually does it) was at an interview. Then home, where I was trying to help Little One study his spelling words...at the same time I remembered I needed to set my out of office message and send a calendar notice for my travel, and 2 different people were texting me about two different things for roller derby. Then off to pick up Little Bug, and theoretically drop them off at home with Husband and run off to derby practice. Except, on the way home I remembered I washed my pads on Sunday...and forgot to take them out of the washing machine. And Husband wasn't home yet, and I had a trip to pack for. So, no derby (which ended up being the smart choice, even if I hadn't needed to re-wash my pads). I did do my Core Challenge workout, though. And got all packed and in bed by midnight...where I then didn't fall asleep for at least an hour. Up at 3:15am to catch my flight. Today's been a crazy mix of running around/continuing trying to get work stuff done quickly, and waiting. At least I got to nap a little bit on my flights. Can you tell I'm currently hopped up on caffeine? 🤪 At least I was able to check in to my hotel in time to have my screening interview call...because the lady thought I was on the west coast and had scheduled my interview in pacific time instead of eastern time. But, I think that went well, at least. Going to finish up doing work things shortly, I think, then go get some dinner, attempt to work out, shower, and get to bed early. Because I have to be up way early tomorrow as well (though a much more "reasonable" 6am) to pack up, check out, get breakfast, and get to the meeting on time. Then run out the door to make sure I can catch my flight. And hope I don't end up stranded in Chicago, because my second flight is definitely oversold, and I suspect with how late I purchased my ticket I'll be near the top of the list to get bumped if they don't get enough volunteers to take different flights.

Zero week is over, and the challenge starts! With a couple wrenches thrown at me! I put together my food plan and shopping list, but didn't make it to the grocery store. I started today on track anyway, but then quickly went off course due to lack of prep. And then on top of that, I found out I might be going on a business trip this week. Leaving Wed, meeting on Thurs, flying back Thurs or Friday. Yes, you read that right: might have that trip. This week. And, it's not looking like I'll hear until tomorrow if the trip is a go or not. Which makes going to the grocery store this evening basically impossible, because I don't want to buy a bunch of food and then not be here to eat it...but then if I am here, I won't have my food prepped. I guess I wait to see what tomorrow brings and adjust my plan to "as best I can with what I have already"? But tomorrow also brings roller derby practice, which means not getting to the store then, either... I think probably my best bet is to take the plan I had for this week and adjust it a bit so it works for next week and just re-plan this week to avoid a trip to the grocery store since I have no idea what's going on. At least my exercise is all planned out and easily portable! On that front, I was too tired to do my scheduled Core Challenge last night, so I figured I'd ride my new spin bike for 20 minutes. Nope! Turns out the saddle on it is rock hard. I lasted 7 minutes before I reached the point of "if I continue to try to ignore how much this hurts, I might actually hurt myself." So, I have now ordered a padded seat cover for it, which will hopefully help. Especially if I also actually use the padded bike shorts that I just remembered I own!

Here we go! 3/25: 172.5 Up a smidge from the end of last challenge, but oh well. Easily within normal fluctuations, and I didn't really expect to lose anything over zero week anyway. I got my plan together for this week, and immediately had multiple wrenches thrown into the works. Didn't make it to the store, so today is going to be cobbling stuff together from what I already have (should be fine), and maybe I'm going on a business trip later this week. Yeah, it's potentially this week, and still a maybe. Fun fun. On the up side, at least the not going to the grocery store was traded for spending some time with my kids and introducing them to the glorious dumpster fire that is the Masters of the Universe move.

Short summary of The Doom (TM): My manager is a terrible manager and maybe not a great human, and either my current position is going to force me to move somewhere I don't want to live or I find a new job and move somewhere I do want to live, to the extreme disappointment of my children (because they've moved a bunch recently and like where we currently live). There are no solutions to this situation that are good for everyone and it sucks. Why is The Doom (TM) impending? Because as part of being terrible, my manager doesn't talk to me. So she hasn't actually initiated anything related to me having to relocate, so I have no idea when I'm going to be out of a job. And so far my efforts to find new employment have yielded a bunch of screening interviews followed by "no thanks." So I'm stuck in very uncomfortable limbo, simultaneously trying to low-key get ready for a move and continue with my life as if nothing is changing. No stress there at all! /s So, what am I doing? Step one: find a new job. Apply for a minimum of 2 jobs/week, more is better. For zero week, I applied for 3 jobs on Monday, and somehow have a call with one of them on Wednesday! Step two: eat healthy. Have I mentioned I play and coach roller derby? I'm trying to lose fat while also making sure I'm staying fueled for playing competitive full-contact sports on roller skates. It's been tricky, though I have managed to have a little bit of success. I got access to a diet plan tailored for that at the start of the month, but because life has been bonkers I haven't been able to do anything with it. But I'm going to follow it now! Zero week is going to be getting everything sorted out for that so I'm ready to go at the start of Week One. Step three: exercise. In addition to the 3 - 4 days of practice, I need to do cross training. For the rest of March, it's going to be finishing up the Core Challenge my team is doing. After that, it's probably going to be a somewhat random mix of weight lifting via the NF app, yoga, pilates, and using the new (used) spin bike I just acquired with classes through the YMCA app. If you've been following me for a while, you will not that there's not really anything new here. I'm just continuing to iterate on the same ideas until I find the version of it that I can stick with and gives me the results I want. I think I'm getting close!

I'm in! Setting my goal at 10 lbs, though I'll be ecstatic if I hit 5. My plan for this time around is to follow the roller derby diet plan, which I have finally had time to look over. The basic ideas are to eat every 2-4 hours, include veggies and protein with every meal or snack, and if you're aiming for fat loss limit starchy carbs to after exercise. Honestly, it seems mostly like it's a slightly more refined version of what I've already been working on, so that's encouraging. Hoping the meal plans included with it hit the sweet spot between fat loss and keeping me fueled for playing sports!

1/1: 174.1 1/8: 173.6 1/15: 174.1 1/22: 173.7 1/29: 176.5 2/5: 172.4 2/12: 173.1 2/19: 172.6 2/25: 171.0 3/4: delayed 3/5: 172.8 3/11: 173 3/19: 172.3 I am slightly late, and probably everyone has moved to the new thread, but whatever. I'm here and I'm posting my results! Down 0.7 this week. I think it "should" have been more, but hopefully that will show up for the next one. Last week I ate something that didn't agree with me, and my innards were incredibly displeased. I will spare you the details, but the result was I was extremely bloated, and it's not fully worked out yet. Which is why I was a day late, because I knew yesterday was a fake high weight, and also why I think today's weight "should" have been a bit lower. Oh well. Total results: 1.8lbs lost! Which...isn't a lot, but I think things are finally starting to slowly trend down rather than staying the same. Also, I lost half an inch off my waist and my clothes are fitting better, so that's pretty awesome too! On to the next challenge!

I just saw an article that says Joann Fabrics has declared bankruptcy. Supposedly they're staying open and just restructuring, but... Anyone got any good alternate sources for fabric? Even if they don't go under, I haven't been too impressed with their selection of fabrics for a while (maybe that was just my local stores, though?). Physical stores are my preference, because if at all possible I like to feel what I'm buying before I purchase it, but I get that's not too likely to be a thing.

Oh, look at that! The challenge ended yesterday. How'd that happen? It was a crazy, rather unproductive week. Keeping up with my exercising has been pretty much the only goal I've been able to stay on track with this last week. On Thursday it was almost 70 degrees, and we finished the day with a tornado watch. Gaming got cancelled, because our friends in Indiana we play with had to hide in their basement because they actually had a tornado warning (they are safe)! Sunday it was in the low 40s with cold wind, which made for a less-fun than expected St. Patrick's Day parade. And of course it snowed just enough to make everything all wet so we couldn't skate. I am done with the weather whip-lash, but I don't think it's done with us yet, unfortunately. So, wrapping up the challenge - I was mostly successful? Things definitely fell apart some near the end, but no so bad that I can't get them back together (and hopefully better). At least The Doom has remained impending.

I continued to be a bit under the weather all weekend, so my exercise has been low-key and just walking. I was hoping to get back to the core challenge today, but I'm still not quite better and it's getting late, so I'm thinking I'm going to end up just walking again tonight. Food is slowly getting back on track. Should have a solid plan by the end of the week, and hopefully I can also have things cleaned up by then as well. I may have also just stepped into a hornet's nest. There was a whole bunch of drama with the junior roller derby league over the weekend, with the result being the current head coach and one of the board members leaving. With the other coach leaving in a few weeks (long planned), I'm about to be the only coach left! They asked me to be the head coach, at least until they can find someone else or I have to leave for work. So, I'm now the head coach for the juniors! 😬

1/1: 174.1 1/8: 173.6 1/15: 174.1 1/22: 173.7 1/29: 176.5 2/5: 172.4 2/12: 173.1 2/19: 172.6 2/25: 171.0 3/4: delayed 3/5: 172.8 3/11: 173 Eh, not what I had hoped for, but with the way the week went, I'll take essentially staying the same. I puffed up mid-week, and then got sick, so I haven't been exercising like I'd hoped to be, nor have I really had a chance to dive into my new diet plan yet. It WILL happen this week, though. In other, related, news, however, I took my monthly measurements on Wednesday, and my waist is down half an inch from the start of February! My chest measurement was also down by 1.4 inches. I am less excited by that, because it tends to fluctuate by up to +/- an inch depending on the time of the month, but there's a chance a bit of that reduction is real. Either way, half an inch off my waist, which is my real goal far, far more than the number on the scale. So that's pretty awesome.