shaar

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About shaar

  • Rank
    Bardy McBardface
  • Birthday 09/09/1980

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  • Location
    Coastal North Carolina

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    ranger

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  1. shaar

    TGP is trying to get it back

    Oh jeez, hope your mom will be ok and that you can keep sane while everything is going on!! I still love the image of cranky chicken teenagers dressing in like Hot Topic mesh shirts and stuff IT'S NOT A PHASE DAD
  2. shaar

    The UnChallenge: Tanktimus Continues

    After reading that recipe I had to google loko moko and DID NOT DISAPPOINT Yeah???
  3. shaar

    The Silver Archer: Black Mask

    I can't add much more onto your thoughtful expression of people being terribly self-serving and just downright hurtful. I consider myself fairly agnostic - religion as a whole fascinates me to be fair, but I see so many people twisting it for their own benefit, and it just makes me sad. I agree wholly with everything you've said, and echoing Tank, I think you are very very wise. Hope you're doing better today!! Remember all the amazing things you're doing and that you're not only allowed to do them, but you're blazing trails for other women that might not think they're strong enough, smart enough, worthy enough to reach great heights. <3
  4. shaar

    Jedi: Keeper of the Flame, Soldier of Balance

    I am glad you're still existing. <3 I'm sorry things are So Much right now - I think a lot of us here are right there with ya - so I hope everything can get easier for you as the days go on, or you can at least find some little pockets of peace within the chaos.
  5. shaar

    Salinger's thirteenth challenge!

    SPECIAL GIN Jeez that's enough to stress ME out, oh man, on the other hand maybe that shows you've made it to the BIG TIME if you can book such bougie people that demand special gin??? :] WE CAN BE ANXIOUS TOGETHER AHAHAHA wheeeee
  6. shaar

    Echo level up: consistency II

    Hahaha, I VERY MUCH relate to this. Yup, boy do I get this one too. I'm glad you were aware of that tho', I'm sure it helped!!
  7. shaar

    Salinger's thirteenth challenge!

    I wish I had some advice for you. Frankly it's all out of my league of experience. But I DO believe in you v. much and know you will do your very best, because that's what you do, no matter what. Sometimes all you can do is just hang tight. It really sucks. It's a real helpless feeling!! And it's hard to feel like things will ever be even just a little bit easier again.... I get it. I really do. But we've gotta hang in there. We'll do our best and sometimes that's all we can do and it has to be enough. Where do you think your ear issues came from?? That's so bizarre... the run maybe? Something sinus related??
  8. shaar

    JonFirestar vs The Lakes

    Food + stress = A THING. I think I'm one of the few people that don't stress eat, but instead eat LESS due to stress, it makes my stomach really upset and not hungry at all. Which I guess is uh, great for weight loss but not for mental concentration and fatigue. SIGH FOOD Hang in there <33
  9. shaar

    Stribs' Stellar Summer Self-Care Superpalooza

    Yesss nice arms are one of my favorite thing about lifting too! Screw the flat stomach gimme some GREAT SHOULDERS INSTEAD ( also i too love being able to leave behind food at someone else's party mwahahahaa )
  10. shaar

    shadri :: the final countdown

    YES hang onto all the exciting plans you can when things get crazy!! You can do it!!
  11. shaar

    In Which Cheetah Solves A Mystery

    Hey dude. Hang in there, ok? Sometimes our best-ish is all we can do, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
  12. shaar

    » shaar gives no. frickin'. quarter.

    Week Whatever~ Welp I sure did put in an application on a treehouse this morning. *vibrates on a cellular level* Hey shaar, you sweet, furious thing - stop overthinking. Last night I'm laying in bed vibrating on a cellular level (noticing a trend here??) and trying to get to sleep when I had a Clarity Moment - one of two, actually. I'm laying there just juked out of my mind - worrying about Things (more on this later) - when of all things my lizard brain jumps to an exchange that occurred in @DarK_RaideR's thread very recently about control - shaar, you furious thing, you are not in control. And THAT'S OKAY, and also VERY important to realize at a turning point like this. I've done everything I can up to this point, my research, my due diligence, whatever. My finances are what they are and my credit score is what it is. It's up to someone else now and it's out of my hands and I need to realize this; it's up to the application process now and nothing I say or do can change that. I need to stop digging my heels into the ground and freaking out over every little thing because whatever happens, will happen. I have a backup plan and a failsafe and when it comes down to these none of these are awful options. Sure, they may not be the options I want at the time, but it's not the end of the world. Any direction I could move from here will be full of its own opportunity. I remembered this, and acknowledged my emotions right then and there - fear, anxiety, helplessness - I saw them and sat with them and invited them to tea and let them just exist and be. (Yeah that's right I actually visualized having tea with anxiety that bullshit old hag) It helped and it worked and an immensely peaceful feeling washed over me and my dumb ass fell asleep. (look here's a nice calm river to break up the bullshit ha HA) Clarity Moment #2: Yesterday in my Panicked Measuring of All The Things, my lizard brain was screaming at me TREEHOUSE TOO SMALL so I gently second guessed myself and made an appointment to tour another apartment today - the one that was originally my first choice, so it's not a terrible option AT all. I toured it and it was nice and I really liked it, but it was a little more expensive than my original price point, and I didn't get that....... Treehouse Feel. You know? Like when you trust your gut on something? All my gut reactions were that this place was nice and a good backup, but kept pinging *treehouse*. And most importantly - remember why you were interested in the treehouse in the first place, shaar, you enormous dingaling???? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT A LOT OF FURNITURE. Stop trying to min/max and cram things in there when that's not EVEN what you wanted in the first place, stop overthinking and losing sight of the original goal. All the stuff neither of you can take you'll donate to the local Habitat for Humanity and that's a GOOD THING!! I've been a little hung up on not being able to take some furniture Because Memories but I have to let that all go. I need to think of what's going to work for me now and remember my original goals and not lose sight of all that in the gentle unraveling of my sanity. ANYWAYS all eyes will be on my phone for the next 72 hours until I hear a final yea or nay (and maybe send over some documents they need). My main concern is finances obvs, but everyone I've hashed this out with (including my financially savvy boss) (and including eyeballing supporting accounting documents over and over) says it should be no issue at all. I've also never been on a lease by myself at all before so part of me feels like it's too "adult" for me.... you know, if that makes sense??? Like I just feel like some giant stupid kid doing my best and they're gonna be like HAHA nice try kiddo whatever. At any rate I'm just going to do my best to chill for the next few days, I'm hopeful and optimistic BUT there's always that DOUBT in the back of your MIND yanno?!!!?! Maybe I should invite Doubt over for some tea........... :] Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk - The One Where I Whinge About The Same Things I've Been Whinging About For The Past Two Weeks ha HA!!!! <333333333
  13. shaar

    » shaar gives no. frickin'. quarter.

    ALL OF THE BREATHING I am doing all of it Hey look a nice calm breathing gif There is a light, I need to remember that, whatever light it might be I'll find out soon and it'll be ok~ YEAH WE WOULD EAT AT PIZZA FRIDAYS TOGETHER DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE SQUARE PIZZAS MAN THEY WERE KINDA TERRIBLE BUT ALSO KINDA AMAZING I definitely second guessed myself again yesterday. (more on that later) I need to REMEMBER why I'm doing this and stop overthinking!! Going back home is the ultimate failsafe, if nothing else works out. I'm glad I have it there (not many people have that option!) but until then I'm going to fight forward on my own... I WILL BELIEVE IN THE YOU THAT BELIEVES IN ME They are totally the worst. My word. My WORD. I've moved before but never like this... THE BOLD PART AHAHAHA ARE YOU ME??? Scene: Me, sitting down with a floor planning app yesterday, trying to min/max and measure everything and see what I can fit and also looking at my monthly budget AGAIN and talking to 3 people at once about the s t r e s s and THEN taking a yardstick to measure the exact dimensions of the new room vs the room I'm currently sitting in--- Too much. No overthinky. One thing at time. (And I am absolutely doubting my sanity at this point........) <3333
  14. shaar

    » shaar gives no. frickin'. quarter.

    Dude is this Putin on a Ritz or ????? Some days I don't feel like it so THANK YOU ;______; Phew things sure can be hard sometimes huh, we can all do it tho', TOGETHER, I know we can!!!!! Waitin' with bated breath for that bolded bit... I KNOW it's coming. It's already kinda lurking anyways so FLAG UP TERRIBLE FEELINGS AND FIGHT ME >:[[[ Holy crap you're right, it is a real feel for sure, and out of nowhere!! You've weathered them so well and I'm motivated by your determination and success in the face of stressful things!! WE GOT THIS DAVID SAYS SO!!! <3 It's wild how no matter where you are, what you have and haven't seen, a feeling can make so much -sense- yeah? That Hawaiian man sounds ADORABLE ahaha!! All waves are relative and very valid in the eyes of their beholder, IMO~ Is it week 1 right now? Or is it week 2?? ??? DOES IT MATTER I spent the majority yesterday asleep on the couch because I stressed myself into exhaustion so that was a thing. This morning here at work I'm looking at the calendar and realize I have 2-3 weeks to apply for an apartment - hopefully get it on the first go - set up with a moving company - buy some furniture - pay a crapload of fees (bless past me for hoarding money like a squirrel in my savings account) - move in. Hooooooooooo boy. My big caveat that's sticking in my head is that I can't start any of this process until Friday afternoon, because we have a termite inspection tomorrow and then the bigger home inspection Friday. Once we get the all clear on both of these I'm cleared to shoot out of the gates but man it eats away at a few days time - and my sanity. Closing isn't scheduled for the 10th but I'd like to be moved out by the 3rd - one week ahead of time - so that at least gives me a little extra week of wiggle room should another piano fall from the sky, I guess. I'm getting a little concerned about the size of the studio I'm looking at - it'll just be me and Finn obvs but I really need to sit down with a floor planner online and measure everything out. I called over there this morning to ask if they had any 1x1 units available and they didn't and the lady remarked "whew we really are fillin' up fast" (imagine a southern accent there) and it set off every alarm in my lizard brain and crankED IT RIGHT UP TO 11 SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH NOT REALLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR BUT OK RAD :DDDD Anyways I'm gonna have to make a decision - small-ish space in a treehouse with a bikeable area, or more space in an equally lovely area that's still bikeable and full of trees but is a little farther from work - 5 miles - so NOT TERRIBLE at all either! The second place was actually my original choice that I was really excited about before I went to visit the close-by treehouses.... so I'm gonna call them and make an appointment to tour tomorrow. They also have no admin fee~ This is a REALLY HARD DECISION. And it's gonna be a long week. I've already talked myself off a ledge this morning and done gone and tired myself out hoo boy howdy so, phew. Gym this week absolutely isn't happening, full stop, do not pass go. Survival is key. A NY WAYS I'm feeling a little light headed so I'm gonna try to focus on work and get some stuff done..!!!!!!!!!!
  15. shaar

    Salinger's thirteenth challenge!

    FRICK YEAH YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!! I am so so so so proud of you, take that medal and hang it up 'cause there are many more to come now! <3