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About Doaheem

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  • Birthday 05/21/1990

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    Southern California
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  1. Hitting my first bumps of the challenge. It's difficult to explain but I just sorta fell off. I'm not angry at myself and I accept it but one day I just flipped off. I've missed two days of journaling and meditation in the last week. I did nothing to further progress my search for goals or dreams. I've mostly just existed and done activities characteristic of avoidance behavior which is something I normally struggle with. I don't know what else to really say in this post.
  2. Oh geeze no no that's dreadful I'm so sorry. Nothing like that to really send a beast of Despair your way. Glad to see that you recognized it and are working against it. What might possibly work for food, it's Asian in origin, if you have any larger Asian grocers near you they may have food prep their. There's a place nearish to us called Tokyo Central and it's a glorious place with a sushi counter, a serve-yourself buffet esque place, and several microwaves for their many bento boxes and instant noodles. Overall not the healthiest of course (hello sodium!), but there are healthier options the
  3. Hi Julie Honeybee, and Freak Thank you for taking the time to drop in. (purposely not tagging) @julie I guess it is helpful, just always kinda beat myself up about it in the past. Even now it's funny that I didn't log in at all since posting this, just sorta felt... guilty? shamed? idek it's weird. It's nice but almost in a 'you don't deserve it' weird self image stuff. @Bee I found that the one minute approach freaking BOOMED so far. Haven't missed a day. I journal just before bed or while my partner is in the shower. It'll start off as some stupid remark like "tri
  4. It's kind of funny. I usually come here after getting some progress, faltering, getting kicked around, and then ultimately stalling. I lick my wounds, start to feel a bit better, then come to the forum for a few challenges and then I blast off again. I used to hate myself for doing it but idk, maybe the forum and the challenge are supposed to be my bonfire to rest at and recharge, and, if I'm lucky, touch a few people with encouragement along the way. I'm trying to tackle a big personal demon this challenge and it's got me a little worried. 1. Goals / Dreams It's vague as
  5. 1. Struggling here. Maybe setting affirmations as the goal was a poor starting place. No matter what I say it just sounds so distant, corny and absurd compared to reality. Maybe my mindset is really that warped which is fine but I haven't found a good way to attack this problem. 2. Better overall. Still struggling to come back to the forum but I feel like being conscious of the problem is helping me overcome it to a degree. I found myself, if not actively pushing into the discomforting things, not avoiding their impact as much so bravo. 3. Mixed success. I'm almost wondering if I do these i
  6. It's a very, very humbling experience lol thank you!
  7. A yesssss chilled weather, time for various wonderful medicinal creations ranging from Mulled wine to more... Exotic things. Blankets and curry. Truly a wonderful time. Wife and I also carved our first ever jack-o'-lanterns together. She's got an excuse not being a US native but i don't lol so much fun.
  8. Thank you everyone for the input! I'm uh. Well i failed the second goal this week by just avoiding the thread. Didn't feel good about myself or my anything and lacked the mental discipline to persevere. 1. Failed mostly. No consistency or system in place I just jumped. I downloaded an app that will ping me with affirmations everyday at a prescribed time and hopefully that will get this week on track 2. Mixed Success, I'm not going to lie I avoided this thread. I thought about it sure and checked in to read but never responded even though I had time and in that I failed. However I called many
  9. I feel like once a year I come back to the forum pissed off at life and determined to change something and every time I run out of steam and drift off into oblivion content that I made the effort to change without actually changing. This challenge will be a bit different than the standard MO for NF. I'm not pursuing any physical goals this challenge. I'm pursuing life altering goals, hoping to rewire the system so to speak and am using the idea of habit formation as that bedrock. 1. Rich Mind Poor Mind. I firmly believe that there is some meaning to the idea that a person's beliefs, thei
  10. I appreciate the thorough and patient response and I do think they apply quite well to my respawn post. I appreciate your reading that too I guess I was slowly learning that reality on my own but it's always helpful to hear someone else say it and reinforce that. Being married it feels even more magnified, when my darker parts hurt me it's not so big because, well, shame on you for being dumb. However when your darker parts directly affect someone you care about, that really hurts. I'm learning more to face up to it, little by little and grow through the process though it hurts at times and
  11. Thank you for the response it always feels nice coming home because it doesn't feel like everyone is posturing to show their best self like some sort of social media. Everyone seems to show a more authentic side, at least in the areas I've been to . I'm sorry but what do you mean? First, is "the thing" in this instance referring to the negative attributes I hinted at? And second, what do you mean by don't blink? Like don't look at it with disgust?
  12. 2019 has been a weird year. Lots of self discovery and a lot of it not necessarily positive but it's a good thing because that recognition means I can change it right? I'm going to stay here for a bit. Warm myself in the light of you all. Btw headcanon, I feel like Druids also fit the fantasy character of magic users like Wizards since they also focus on more internal pursuits. Mastery of self and all that. Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk
  13. This will be a bit rambly but here we go. 2019 has been a HELL of a year. I'm 29 now but living on my own for the first time since 2013 when I was in college. I married in December and this year has been 10 months of me constantly seeing the undesirable parts of me glaring and sometimes bad. How my habits of procrastination and running away from problems that used to manifest as a late assignment or an all nighter to make up for putting off a project, now are manifesting in much more punishing ways. How my tendency to respond to issues immediately with a brief lashing out similar to a dog sn
  14. Let me cut any blows by saying I'm not preaching about it, I'm asking for myself. Despite COUNTLESS family members both living with and lost to substance addictions whether drug or alcohol, I've never felt a calling to them and I consider myself incredibly lucky for that. However, I strongly believe that I have an addictive relationship with video games which sucks because I truly enjoy them but I have no sense of self control. It's worst with multiplayer FPS games which I just can't play anymore without sliding down the hole but other games that trigger a short rush like Rocket L
  15. Still chugging along I promise you all.I've slipped a bit for Friday but otherwise we're good. Just been busy, stressed, and tired. I'm also running into the same problem I always run into and that's my not knowing what else to say. I start off the challenge strong and chug along but then I get to the point where I just don't know what to post or feel like I don't have anything worth posting... We're still looking for an apartment... still getting ready for her immigration stuff, still needing to do taxes... so many things!!!
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