shesavedtheworldalot

As a very tall woman who had to learn how to balance her body when squatting, I'm going to recommend TRX ropes. They're a great way to learn how to do bodyweight squats, but you have something to hold on to. Once she's comfortable with that, move to goblet squats onto a chair or bench. Squats are REALLY REALLY difficult when you're tall. You have a lot further to go to be in the correct position, and that can be terrifying. It will probably take 3-6 months for her to feel comfortable getting under the barbell. (I know it took me almost a year.) When she does do her first barbell squat, give her all the high fives. Going from not being able to find your own center of balance to doing weighted squats is a really big deal.

Tinted moisturizer with a decent SPF in it is the best. My skin dries out really fast without something on it. A little peachy cream blush and some eyeliner. I never really got the hang of makeup, so I tend to implement the KISS method. (Keep it simple, stupid.) Special occasion means I might use colored eyeliner and some highlighter on my cheekbones. I am a little bit of a lipstick addict, though. Not sure how that happened, but again with the dry skin, I have to at least put some chapstick on, or my lips start flaking off.

GUYS GUYS GUYS!! I THINK THIS BELONGS HERE: Went shopping with my mom this weekend, and was having a hard time picking out clothes to try on that would even "fit." Mom hands me a pretty flowered button down, and I laughed at her. Had she even looked at the tag? It was a size SIX. I wear a TWELVE. AT LEAST. She responded with, "Do you have any idea how much weight you've lost?" Yes. Almost 30 pounds, but I didn't LOOK any different to myself. I tried on the shirt to make her happy, and totally bought it. I am wearing it right now. As I type this. And it looks fantastic. I still don't really see a difference, but apparently other people do, so I'll take it!

What???????? Beyond the way hetero-focused ness of ALL of this: Spontaneity is TOTALLY related to body image. "Do you want to have sex?" has a lot in common with the question, "Can I see you naked/seminaked/unclothed in some way?" Which, if you're not comfortable with your body, makes you pretty quickly go, "Nope." Really kills any kind of spontaneity. Second, this whole thing is pretty sexist. In lots of couples, women have the higher sex drive! Not to mention that spontaneity has nothing to do with being "pinned down." Women don't need to be hunted. We're not pieces of meat. People like to be pursued. People, both male and female, like to feel like they're wanted not just an object with which to have sexual congress. And yes, to make people feel like they're wanted, you have to make some gestures towards that notion, depending on what your partner wants. Third, I have no idea what any of this has to do with being married. Non married couples have sex. Married couples have sex. Either can have as much or as little in any way that they desire. (The Supreme Court said so, and I'm here to back it up!)

You didn't. It takes a little more than that to offend me. I'm just a believer that no matter who it comes from, reinforcing those stereotypes does more harm than humor. Didn't mean to come across too harsh.

I definitely see what you're saying. I hesitate at using the term "girls" as a borderline insult, though. Being one and all.

Yep, boyfriend is always down about his body, and I'm like, "How can I see you naked more often? But sneakily, so that you can't see ME naked." I'm willing to bet your wife would rather you be naked, too. Relationships are weird. And complicated.

Lots of this cracked me up. And I don't really CARE that people need all the plates! I think it's awesome and impressive. I guess I mind when they need all the plates and then show each other funny videos on their phones instead. Then I seethe a little bit. I treat my time as valuable, since I try to remind myself that I am a person of value. I know the real problem is that I'm pretty shy, and when you're still new to all of it, you've definitely still got that voice in your head saying, "But you aren't at their level, so you probably shouldn't even be trying, and if you talk to that person they'll just laugh at you." Not to mention that the one time I did ask to work in, the guy just looked at me and said, "I'm busy." Do I know not everyone is like this? Yes. Does it spike the anxiety? Also, very much, yes.

I hear this so much. Like, I'm still so resistant to the fact that anyone would want to see me naked that I'm like, nah....let's just not, k? Which is crazy, because that does not compute logically. As in, if someone is coming onto you, clearly they find themselves attracted to you. We need to start a stop avoiding sexy times club. We could make t-shirts, but that would rather defeat the purpose, no?

Hey! I don't know what kind of job you have/if there are any benefits offered, but I know that many businesses (at least in the US) offer what they call an "Employee Assistance Program." Most people think of this as just mental health counseling, but there is often a LOT more available, including the option to see a career counselor, or a therapist who would specialize in "quarter life crises." (Which, if you don't believe it just from reading this thread, is a real thing.) Also, consider picking up the book "The Defining Decade" by Meg Jay. Jay is a clinical psychologist whose clients are all in their mid twenties and struggling with the types of issues you've described. I know when I went (or am going) through this, it's a book that made a big difference for me personally. Plus, it's short! Always a plus! http://www.amazon.com/The-Defining-Decade-Twenties-Matter-And/dp/0446561754

I've been getting out of work late lately and have been forced to go to the gym at what I call "dude bro" time. That delightful time of day when all the squat racks are taken by guys using them for bicep curls and even if you CAN get a barbell, you can't get any 45 lb plates because APPARENTLY we have to have bench press contests to see who can outlift the strangers next to them. And they apparently have to have their noses to the mirror. God forbid you need the dumbbells. I spend a lot of my precious work out time walking away, trying to wait until there's some kind of space available, and reminding myself, "You have just as much of a right to use that equipment as they do so get your butt back in there, and DON'T QUIT BECAUSE YOU'RE FRUSTRATED." But it's not easy. Sorry. Needed a minute.

Oh, I don't know. It looks to me like you're someone with a certain level of expertise. If you introduced yourself that way, "Hey, I coach boxing and I think you'll get more out of it if you [punch differently/change your stance/firm up your wrists]." I don't know that I would have made a beeline over there, but rather if the two of you happen to walk by each other, you could have mentioned it. That way if she was interested, she could have asked what you meant and if she was not at all interested, she could have said, "Great! I'll look that up later." I think the most important thing is to give someone an out. If someone is working and you as a stranger go stare at them and critique their faults, it's going to be way uncomfortable. If you make it casual, it stays casual and the other person has a chance to accept or reject your help without pressure.

I'm in the tristate area out in the boonies! So, not in Cincy, but we get the news stations. Any westside folks here?

I once had a woman come tell me that I could use dumbbells instead of kettlebells for russian split squats, which would give me more balance on each side. I wasn't annoyed because she was being helpful and just pointing out a mod that could help. (I turned her down because I'm working on my way-less-than-stellar balance which is why I looked so terrible at what I was doing!) It really depends on what mode you come in with. Are you all "I can do this better so you should listen to me!" or "Hey, I learned this thing and it's really cool and maybe you'd like to know!" Also, is the other person pointedly ignoring everything? Because that person does not want your help. AG

I saw an 8 month pregnant woman lifting at the gym the other day. It was the most badass thing I think I've ever seen. I'm sure you need to talk to your doctor about that when the time comes, though! (Like with the woman who ran a marathon while in labor-imo, NOT WORTH IT and I can't believe her doctor gave her clearance, but to each her own!)

Precisely. Do you know why some people are so successful? It's because they actually like what they do. If you like swimming/dancing/long walks, good for you! Break down what you like about those things and try to extend them into other things. Is it the solitude and the quiet that make you like long walks? Try pushing it into other, more difficult terrain. Try doing some bodyweight exercises while you're walking. I tried C25k for a while with my dog, and I would turn warm up/cool downs into training sessions. (Walking lunges for me = repeated sits for her, planks for me=down/stay for her). You can mix things you love with things that are active. It's okay not to like what other people like. And dancing is a helluva workout. My worst morning ever was not because I was hungover, but because I danced until 5 am. Do what you love, and make your life work for you. I am a smart lady. It's one of the things I like best about myself. http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/lively-up-yourself-lentil-soup-recipe.html http://www.cookinglight.com/food/quick-healthy/healthy-soup-recipes/healthy-sausage-kale-bean-soup-recipe Note: I'm not a paleo eater, but those are my two favorite ways to eat kale. (I imagine you could make either fit whatever diet you may follow.) The bitter flavor profile of the greens plays off of the smoky and spicy tastes, but kale is not the focus of the dish.

I'll join. Lawyer/HR Professional. I'm always looking for manufacturing engineers, I feel like. This might be a good way to do some networking....

Screw everyone else. Seriously. They're not you, and you're not them. What they do and enjoy has no bearing on your actual life and enjoyment. I really like Amy Poehler's take on this one: "Good for her, not for me." Say it out loud. Repeat it often. "Good for her. Not for me." If you're not enjoying it, it's going to get harder. If it doesn't fit your life, it's going to get harder. Paleo doesn't work for you? Fine. Stop it. There are other ways to cook and eat that are super healthy. I don't eat paleo, and I have pizza sometimes, and I've lost 20 pounds over the last six months. Do you know what would make me miserable? Looking at the world and going, "Well, that's not for me. I can't do those things. I have goals and stuff and fitness." Unhappiness is no way to live. Find a balance with food. Teach yourself to cook things made of real food that grows in the ground. It will be impressive and delicious, whether it follows a highly specialized diet or not. Think of things you enjoy doing. Do you like to spend time outdoors? Do more of that. Hike. Run or bike in the woods. Meditate. Do yoga on a log. Do you have young kids/cousins? Go to the playground and have a rousing game of tag or make believe 3x per week. Maybe it's not a brutal marathon, but it's something you actually like. (And really, have you ever hung out with little kids? It's exhausting.) The best workout I do in summer is dog agility. I guarantee my dog is moving faster than I am and doing more work, but have you ever tried to move faster than a dog's brain? It's a workout! Do things that you enjoy, just do more of them. The nicest thing about that exercise plan is that you will find people who enjoy the same things as you. And then maybe you pick up on some of their likes and dislikes. And you join them in new things that you might like. Try something new every week. One new little thing. Because life is short and variety is fun and you don't have to do this like everybody else does. Because you're not them. And they're not you. So go play on some monkey bars and buy some kale so that you can throw it in a garbage can for fun. (Nobody REALLY likes kale, right? It's just something we say we like because it's cool. Just kidding. I do like kale. In soup. BUT THAT'S IT.)

Hmmm....let's see...any broken in there? Nope? Great, let's take those to the checkout counter! Honestly, I just found out about it. I've been watching New Girl while I have downtime lately, and the test was on an episode. I had to look it up and it was a real thing!

There's an easy blood test a doctor should be able to do, which should tell you about your relative fertility. It's called the AMH, and I believe with insurance in the US, it should cost around $200. It measures your egg reserve, based on the Anti-Mullerian Hormone in your blood. Hope that info helps a little!

That is a terrible song. It's terrible.

My skin has gotten a lot drier as I've gotten older, and more working out means more showers and drier skin. I exfoliate about three times a week in the shower, and moisturize at least every night, if night every night and every morning. I was using Philosophy Hope in a Jar, which I love, but I ran out and can only afford it when it's on sale, so I'm using the Sephora store brand right now. Not totally in love with it, but it will work until I can buy what I do like again. Luckily, I've always had pretty clear skin, so at this point in my life, this is the most I've ever had to do. I'm sorry.

Street harassment is icky. I really do believe that most guys who partake in this don't mean anything. But there's that 1%...and who can tell who the 1% is. Louis CK has a bit where he says, "Of course it's okay to say hello to a woman! But if you say, 'Hey, baby, give me a smile,' maybe you're a douchebag." At any rate, I tend to employ the surroundings training I learned studying abroad. Keep your headphones low enough to hear what's going on around you, but act like you're the only person in the whole world. That you literally can't see or hear this other person, that they effectively don't exist. I've found it handy for getting around crowded areas too. I can't see you, you don't exist, haul ass and get OUT OF MY WAY. At the gym is a different story, because we're indoors and I'll have to see this people again in 48 hours. So then I directly address it. Last time some older guy told me not to quit yet, I'd only been there for half an hour, I could do so much more. "I'm sorry, when you were timing me, you clearly didn't take into account the three miles I ran with my dog first. I'm. Going. Home." Later, he applied to work at the company I'm in HR for. I didn't hire him. SWEET REVENGE.

I don't know why I feel the need to say this (I'm so, so sorry), but that's actually a Shiba Inu. Asian dogs who are fiercely independent and have become very popular in the last couple years due to the doge meme and their general fluffiness. They are NOT for beginners. (Which, working with animal rescue as I have, I always feel the need to say. My soapbox is made up entirely of applications of returned dogs.) So let me finish like this, YOU GO GIRL! Kick butt and take names! Eating well makes you just feel good, doesn't it?