The Unchosen Hero

Baaah, you're fine. It's how you were feeling, right? Nothing wrong with being honest about how you feel. Very best of luck on your midterm!

Today's been a busy day, most of it work related. Didn't go for a walk this morning, as we were both feeling a bit sore and tired after the increased distance and intensity of Monday's walk (that and I somehow slept through the alarm, and the husband, probably rightly fearing for his life in the face of my pre-coffee powers of grumpiness, let me keep on sleeping). So we're walking tomorrow. Foodwise, today has been better--more meat and veggies, less crap, though I did break down and have a couple of pancakes this morning at breakfast. Still, overall crap-consumption is down. Put in about 6-8 hours writing, so that was good, but also mentally tiring. I probably could have kept on for longer at the on' keyboard, but I've learned the hard way not to burn myself out. Ten written pages isn't too bad of a haul, especially when it's brand new stuff. I'll take it. I've got some markups for a client to finish up before bedtime, and a courtesy critique to start for a friend, so I won't linger overlong here--but at least I posted, which is better than things have been for me lately!

Yeah, the mutual time together just exploring is great. It's also a thing we both used to do on our own prior to getting together, but somehow we just...stopped once we were trying to tackle life as a unit. It's nice to finally be working toward rebuilding some of those rituals, but with both of us, instead of just leaving it as "well, back when I was single, I used to..." I'm sorry to hear about how your back pain has been a limitation for you. Hopefully that will be able to be worked through to some extent, and you'll be able to get back to some of those things you used to enjoy. About LARPing, I feel fortunate to have an SO who has even less problem running around shouting silly things while wearing silly clothes than I do. We both LARPed in high school and college, but actually both quit before we got together. Politics and such in the groups we were in caused us to walk away, and while I worry that we may find that with a new group, too, there's only really one way to find out. About the sleep schedule, it is *such* a pain to adjust. Prior to this challenge I'd been trying to fix it for months, to no particular effect. It was only when I started keeping track of my bedtimes and holding myself accountable for any kind of lapses that I developed any motivation to not guzzle coffee at midnight and sit up until my vision started blurring playing video games. And beginning to have mornings again is lovely. I do better work earlier in the day, so I'm pleased to finally be getting the chance to make the most of those hours (rather than snoring through they with a cat sleeping on my head/gut/feet/butt/whatever). The biggest challenge for me coming up is that I signed up to participate in Extra Life this year (a gamers' charity), so that means on the 25th of the month I'll be putting in 24 straight hours of gaming for the cause...and then probably promptly passing the hell out. Hopefully my sleep schedule will endure!

Yeah, I do apologize for that. "I was fighting for my life against a horde of misplaced commas" only sounds epic and excuse-worthy to me, I suspect. As to being dramatic--eh, we all get that way. I'm a superstar when it comes to wailing and gnashing my teeth, so no worries there. Even if your funk persists, I do look forward to reading your updates. Heck, updates made in spite of a funk should get bonus points. They're always so much harder to convince ourselves to go ahead and make, after all, and I say this as the high queen of "good" excuses conceived while in a funk. Regardless, though, good to see you around, and all best wishes for the clearing of the funk. Mine usually starts in October every year. I'm growing increasingly suspicious as to where it is, and what it's planning to do when it gets here. Hopefully it wandered off and won't make an appearance this fall.

Hey! Sorry to hear you're feeling demoralized. I feel I'm most likely part of that, as I kind of dropped off the map for a week or two. Things were hectic and a bit frustrating over here, but still, I should've made the time, both for myself and for other folks following. I can understand the not wanting to update if you're not feeling good about it. That's a totally honest and normal feeling. All the same, I hope things are going well (or at least better) for you, and that you're able to shake your funk! As for me, I've had to change plans a bit, but now that we've got that locked in and I don't feel like I'm drowning in work, I hope I can be a less terrible buddy.

Whew! I've been neglecting my updates again, but let's call this an official regroup. I'm regrouping several things, as a matter of fact, including my exercise routine and fitness goals. If you recall, back in week 2, I had some issues with my abdomen and went to see the doctor. He asked me to go easy on my abs and to carefully monitor what lifting makes them do, and, well, it seems that I'm having trouble finding anything that doesn't aggravate them at the moment that way. That probably means I need to go back to the doctor, provided my woes get any worse, but I'm not in any kind of debilitating pain and not showing any major symptoms of herniage, so for the moment, the plan is further observation. And because I need to keep active but also don't want to further aggravate whatever the issue may be, I've modified my approach. Instead of a weight training routine, I'm walking and hiking--at least until such time as I get a handle on what this is, what it means, and how it may or may not limit my capabilities. So, that being said, let's recap the previous week and then get into today: Last week was better than the week before it. I was still dealing with some general under-the-weather feelings, so I didn't manage to walk every weekday as I'd planned, but I walked 3 of 5, and my husband and I have continued our "get out and explore" habit on the weekends, which means that my Life Quest is alive and well. This weekend, we tackled some hiking trails at a local park, scrabbled our way to the top of a limestone bluff, and also kicked around a few thrift stores, though we didn't really find any treasures (but we did find a snake at the park!). Additionally, despite some dietary sins that were more frequent than I would have liked, I checked the scale this morning, and I am five pounds lighter than last week's check--and my pants fit better in a distinct and unmistakable way--and this *isn't* after I've worn them all day and stretched them out, either. So in spite of the chaos of the past two weeks, there has still been progress! Not what I imagined, but I'll still take it! Now, as to today: Quest 1: Get Equipped and Get Out There Post change of plans, getting out there has mostly been walking, but it's been good! The weekday walkabouts with my husband continue today, and we've increased our distance from 1 mile to 1.5 miles. Not much, but it's a nice way to start the morning before I get down to writing and he has to head out to work. So far it's been the best and most rewarding pick-me-up since Ab-pocalypse, so I'm planning to stick to it even as/if I add other exercises back in. Quest 2: Get Acquainted With the System I've been busy working today, and honestly, this one's been suffering a lot lately. I'm going to do some reading on bodyweight exercises sometime in the next few, though, and make sure that I get some replies in on at least a few threads. I have been a bad buddy lately! Quest 3: Stay Alive My sleep schedule, while no longer rectifying itself by leaps and bounds anymore, is continuing its approach toward normalcy. Most nights I'm too tired to keep my eyes open by 1:00 am, and I'm getting up around 9:00 or 9:30. Eventually I want that pushed back to 7 or 8, with bedtime at 11 or 12, but for now, I'm doing awfully better than I was several weeks ago, when 4:00 am bedtimes were normal. Progress! Also, though it bums me out, I'm monitoring my body and making sure I'm not injuring it, and I'm making adjustments to things as I go. I've also been able to maintain *some* kind of routine, even if it's not the routine I want. Dietarily, I'm behaving better, but not perfectly. The recent addition of a crock pot to the household inventory has helped tremendously, though: stews and such are super easy to throw in and let run all day, and they make tons of healthier leftovers. Life Quest The husband has taken to the goal of "get out and explore every weekend" like a duck to water (or a dragon to a pile of gold), so we've been having a blast discovering new things each week. Parks, restaurants, shops, new neighborhoods, a road we've never been to the end of--we're having a great time just doing things together, and it's done wonders for our sense of getting enough together time (we work conflicting schedules most days and sometimes just seem to wave at one another in passing). But the weekend adventure factor has been awesome. We even happened upon a group of wild LARPers this past Sunday at the park who may be either AmtGard or High Fantasy Society, and we're probably going to go talk to them next weekend. Both of us used to LARP (AmtGard; I was a warrior, he was a scout), and we've toyed with getting back into it, so there's no harm in at least going to say hello. (That, I feel like I should observe, is a major step for me. I can tend to be a pessmist when it comes to meeting new people--in a big way.) In terms of my mundane responsibilities, I've recently turned in a *huge* client project...and...I finally have a large slice of "me" time, meaning I can dig into my own writing. That is a welcome breath of fresh air, as I've been buried in pay work for months and my poor almost-but-not-quite-done-revising novel has been mouldering away while I worry about things like rent and student loans. So it's nice to get back to that and to feel like I can commit to making strides toward done-ness there. So then! Good things, not-so-good things, and such...but progress of a sort overall! Next update tomorrow!

And if they get posted here, I will happily read and use them, too. I've been thinking of implementing a slowcooker thing to make cooking that much easier to do in bulk!

It's all good. 'Tis the season for such things, and it was bound to happen at some point this fall (I always catch at least one bug before the end of the year). I joked with Mr. Hero that, well, I was trying to get my portion control in check, I just hadn't really intended to do it like that. The walks are pretty nice. We get a chance to do something together, and it's a nice habit to get into. Where I've lived before in my life, I was able to walk a lot of places all the time, but the current locale kind of necessitates a vehicle in frustrating ways, so I'd gotten out of the walking habit.

Look at you, rocking the house! And yes, I agree: I want that MMO gym!

Hey, Keannis! Thank you for the poke! Now that I've been called out for my hiding from updates, time to give you a recap of the end of last week, the weekend, and these past few days. Latter Days of Last Week: Things last week hit a snag when I had to make a trip to the doctor in which I was told to hold off on overtaxing my abs. I had plans to institute a new workout starting Friday, but I found myself up against a tight deadline at work, and I literally worked up till 11:45pm on a midnight deadline. Luckily, it all went back to the client just fine, and the client loved it! Chalk that one up in the victory column! Unfortunately, that same evening, a few minor inconveniences--most annoyingly that the Spouse brought home a stomach bug from work--combined to prove rather distracting. I'll not regale you with the gross details, save to say that I'm fine now, I've got my appetite mostly back after a few days of not being able to stomach more than half a sandwich (or its rough equivalent) all day, and work, writing, and such proceed uninterrupted. I'd say last week overall was a Curses!, but it seems not to have been avoidable at all. Such is life, and we drive on! The Weekend: Saturday was a fairly miserable day, and the Spouse and I stayed at home for the most part, recouping and handling some miscellaneous chores that needed attending around the house. On Sunday, though, we were recovered enough that we felt like we could get out, so we did. We explored the flea market, leading to some neat and quirky finds (my favorite is a tacky insulated mug from the mid-1980s...it's my new water mug at the desk), and we took an impromptu hike at a local park, during which we made the decision to start going for a walk together every morning. Our appetites were still a bit depressed from the stomach bug doom, but we put together some food for later in the week, knowing we'd need/want it later. In fact, I'm noshing on some of it right now. More paleo casserole goodness! So overall, I'd say the weekend, considering the week before it, was a Huzzah! Monday and Today: The guts are still a little rumbly, appetites are still a bit of a mess, and I'm transitioning between workloads, so things remain a little hectic around the house, but we did in fact go for a walk together Monday and today! Additionally, while I haven't eaten much today, I've eaten good things. AND...I've been consistently going to bed at midnight every night and getting up between 8 and 9 in the morning. Plans are that weights shall resume tomorrow, and that walking with Mr. Hero will continue. So I'd call all that, all things considered, a Huzzah! Could it all have been better? Sure, but sometimes we take what the universe sends our way and we roll with it.

Thanks, folks! I will be updating this evening. The weekend was rather busy. But all is well, and I aim to be back on track today. Updates this evening!

Ouch! That sounds like it was an experience. Glad it cleared up for you! Back from the doctor, and his assessment was basically this: Can'f feel a hernia at the moment, but that could just mean it's a small one, or that it's buried under flab. The weird spasming thing could possibly be some strange snapping behavior related to the inelasticity of stretch marks. Take it a little easier on your abs, and pay close attention to things, and if it gets worse or you can start to perceive a physical bulge, get back over here right away and we'll do a CT scan of your guts to check for sure.He also had some questionable "if you want to get toned and skinny, do lots of low-weight reps" advice, but he's a doctor, not a bodybuilder, and when I told him I was more interested in functional strength than buns of steel, I got a laugh out of him, and he told me to just be careful, then, and not overtax things before they're ready to be overtaxed. We joked about chestburster aliens. It was a pretty positive visit, and, at least for the moment, doesn't seem to require any visits to the Kingdom of Hospital.

Well, so I should be telling you guys all about my boss weightlifting routine for the evening right about now, but I'm not. And here's why, sadly: So I've had this quirky thing with the middle left side of by abdomen for a few years. It started in grad school after I packed on the weight, and I always figured it was related to that. It's this weird sort of bulging, spasming sensation that rarely happens, but usually comes when I've been really sick, say, and I do a lot of coughing. It's never felt painful--just...weird. And the last couple of times I've lifted, I've experienced it then, too. Why it never occurred to me before then I couldn't say, but it struck me that this feels like it might be an aspiring (or small but established) hernia...and so in the interests of Staying Alive (one of my quests), I'm going to the doctor first thing tomorrow. Made the appointment today, and was told not to lift anything heavy or stress my abs, no matter what. The whole arrangement's a little sore tonight, but I can't decide whether that's because it hurts of its own accord or it's because I was jabbing around trying to see if I could spot a lump (which I couldn't, not swaddled in all the flab). Regardless, the order of the day was FULL STOP, GO DIRECTLY TO DOCTOR, DO NOT LIFT. So, that's what I'm going to do. My dad has had a hernia in the past, and I asked him about it today--and he described something very similar to the weirdness I experience, so I suppose I should mentally prepare myself for that possibility. The good thing? I have health insurance these days. The bad thing? I have no idea what effect it might have on lifting weights. And so as not to make a crisis out of an unknown, I'm just going to find out about it and see where it takes me tomorrow. Regardless, whatever it is, I'll kick its ass, steal its XP, and make a cup out of its skull. Anybody ever dealt with such things, and, if it turns out I'm in for a "fun" little medical sidequest, do we have a place for that around here, I wonder?

Awesome! Keep up the good work, dude!

To be fair and honest about my pushups, I space them out. A set will totally wind me, so I do a few, chill for a while, do some more, etc. Rinse and repeat. Soon enough I'll be able to blast through them all at once, but for now? Easy does it. My deadlifts make me happy. They kick my butt, but in a good kind of way, so I'm good with it. I appreciate the feedback on the squat posture. Having noodled on it and checked myself in the mirror, I've noticed a tendency to lean forward a bit and kind of roll my upper back, so I'm going to work on that for sure. Last night I also picked a heel up off the floor, and I was wearing low-top shoes instead of the boots I normally wear (I have a crabby right ankle that I injured years and years ago in marching band), so I'm suspecting all of that worked together to produce an epic NOPE. It probably doesn't help that I was trying to be all extra rad with a heavier weight than I could probably safely handle on my own...so...for tomorrow, back down to a lighter weight until I get this posture and feet business solidified. Hehe...my husband said the same thing about Crystal Pepsi! Thankfully, I'm done with my Surge-splurge for now, and it's back to water and the occasional diet soda for me after this evening. I figure special occasions might be the only time I want to indulge...unless they manage a Diet Surge at some point, in which all bets are off. I appreciate the encouragement overall! Work has kept me super busy: today was a 7500 word day for a client whose project is due to be returned Friday, and while it went smoothly, it was literally my whole workday ('bout the past 8-9 hours straight), so I pretty much lived on the sofa with my laptop, typing furiously about Fascinating Stuff. I'll be glad when this gig goes back to the client; I've got a pile of my own work that is cosmically backlogged, and I'm anxious to get back on it. Still, can't complain about the money. After all, I need it to buy all these damned vegetables I'm eating now. Stay tuned for workout updates and generally more engagement from me tomorrow!