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About Kyellan

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  • Birthday 07/20/85


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  1. Kyellan Fights the Hollowing

    Okay, so, wow. Here it is 1/18 already. The last ~3 weeks have been HELL, you guys. Ever since I started feeling sick on 12/29, life has basically been misery. I've made it to class a whole four times this month. I should be at 3-4 times A WEEK. After the coughing faded to mostly nil and the actual illness went away, I've just been left with this impossible fatigue and a pervasive weakness throughout my whole body that comes and goes like the tide. When I manage to drag myself to class, I get winded just doing the most basic things and end up even more tired for several days following. It's only in the last two or three days that I've started to have glimpses of light through the fog that's surrounded me. Due to the ongoing weakness, I've basically been following goals which are nothing at all like the ones I outlined. Instead, I've gone back to focusing on reducing intake (my weight has begun creeping up again) via fasting; I've basically given up added salt and caffeine entirely because my blood pressure keeps testing in the pre-hypertension range, and now I've decided to subtract added sugar as well because I realized just how dependent I was becoming on it for even the shortest burst of feeling okay. Perhaps surprisingly, so far, dropping my added sugar really hasn't been nearly as difficult as the first time I did it a while back. It's still tough, but mostly in a broken-routine kind of way, rather than in a dying-of-cravings way. The loss of my daily coffee intake is much harder, and it's really not helping with the whole mental fog thing. I've been drinking decaf at work to try and fulfill the routine, but it's only made it painfully obvious that I NEED CAFFEI--er, uh, yeah. So, that's where I'm at. Suffering from a near-total lack of physical strength, I've decided instead to completely overhaul my diet. Control what you can control, right?
  2. Kyellan Fights the Hollowing

    To be honest, gang, I'm feeling a bit Hollow. 2017, now that it has left us, officially goes on the books as one of my worst years ever. Like, top 3 worst-ever. It was full of stresses, destruction of property, financial catastrophies, the works. That's not to say there weren't a few points of light, but overall, it SUCKED. I am not at all sad to see it die. And, naturally, I woke up sick this morning to start off 2018 just the right way. Not a good showing, '18. Not at all. I really considered making this a very complex challenge, using HP to track how well I was doing against my goals, rewarding myself with little fake internet points for doing good things, and so forth, but honestly I can't bring myself to do it. A need to simplify has been creeping up on my brain over the past few weeks. I actually purged a whole bunch of useless crap out of my office a couple of weeks ago: I trashed years' worth of old PC game cases (most of which were online games whose servers have shut down) and a bunch of other junk too. So, instead of an over-complicated fiddly challenge, I'm going to pare it right down to the bone. 1. Burn the Effigy (Meditation & Tai Chi) These now go together, because one flows so neatly into the other. More, dammit, not less. They are good for me. 2. Declutter Inventory More throwing things away. Less crap hanging around. I'm sick of staring at it. I inherited the barest hoarder instincts from my mother (she's not a dangerous one, but still has a lot of trouble letting go of things and trinkets), and I shall not let them win. 3. Train For the Hunt Once I'm feeling better, I'm going to start adding some bodyweight strength training. I've figured out a place in my house that I can do pull-ups and rows without any additional equipment (except maybe a rope or sheet for the rows). This is something I can do in small sets to improve my life incrementally. I want to be able to do one full pull-up again before the end of the challenge. That's the extent of the goal. When I get there, I'll consider adding more next time. (Extra Goal) Decaffinate the Estus Flask So, my blood pressure has been testing 'pre-hypertension' for like a year now. I've cut down my salt intake, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Next target for culprit: caffeine. I love coffee. I really, really do. It's possible that as I am aging, I am developing a caffeine sensitivity. So, for January I'm going to try cutting my coffee intake severely. My Estus Flask shall be filled only with herbal tea or water for the rest of the month. The last thing I need is to develop some kind of chronic health problem like hypertension. Dark Souls has taught me one thing very clearly; something I knew but hadn't really internalized. Failure is the only way to REALLY learn.