kaelvan

Ok I've been bad at updating this. I've been keeping up with my art part of the challenge (end up just learning Gimp, grinding through my artwork, started a gig on Fivrr, and reading up about business). Doing my yoga through my app. Getting myself to meditate (missed few days, but I've been getting better at it). Drinking lot of tea. Also, made another payment on my debt.

I have the good, the bad, and the ehh for my week, but I'm getting myself into a groove. Next week should be easier for me. Helps I've found few apps I'm in love with.

Ok, I need to get on a schedule with posting. Shall focus on that tomorrow. Good: I got all the apps I needed downloaded. I did minimum for yoga and spin class (like to see if I can push past that). I stayed under budget this week. And I've been having to redirect my thought process on myself quit a bit this week (hopefully gets easier). Oh and I hit the 4 month mark for my art. Yay. Bad: I have been failing at meditating. Usually too tired to even do it. And my photoshop is out of date. I need to replace it. Might go with Gimp for the time being. Sadly, can't afford the price tag. Ehh: I've been on and off checking my email and messages. Like to put a schedule in place to keep it from building up. Maybe even invest in this program this one blog talked about. Might get rid of quit a bit.

I tend to do lot of mix media, that concise of makeup (mostly eyeshadow, lipstick, and liquid eyeliner), chalk, markers, pencil, pencil, and pen. I like to focus on the circus arts with quotes. I got inspired by Phil Hansen (for his trying new unique techniques and mediums), Dallas Shaw (she did this one piece with makeup...sadly can't find it now), and as well as Zhang Huan (his ash pieces are amazing, especially in person). I made the challenge for myself after seeing this Ted Talk (can't find it now) about this guy who decided to do a 365 days straight of doing one art piece a day. It was hard at first to keep myself on track, but now it is something I look forward to each day. Instagram: @kaelvan Tumblr: http://kaelvan.tumblr.com/ DA: http://kaelvantheunicorn.deviantart.com/

Ok I did pretty well with replacing coffee with tea, even if I desperately want to be lazy and just take the already brewed coffee. I may need to beware I've been starting to be tempted by energy drinks (broke down twice already since it is so convenient being there and all). I should look into a solution about that. Maybe invest in a good thermal might help. Already stopped myself a few times when trying to compare myself with others. Though seeing one of my exs made me feel bit better about myself (pretty horrible I know). Started watching videos on Photoshop. Nice to see all of it is starting to come back to me, since it has been awhile since I've used the program. Just finished day 117 yesterday night. Fantastic to see how much I've improved. Now I just have to think what I'm going to do for tonight. And I'm still on budget today. Hooray! Now to do some yoga for today.

It's been awhile since I've been on the forums (mostly been annoying the nerds on FB). I've been going through a rough patch on doing anything lately, so what better way than to do the 6 week challenge. So let's get down to business Goals for this challenge: ~figure out if I should or shouldn't start selling my art If so, on where? Will I do prints or actual physical art pieces? How much to charge? How I will find clients? Should I invest in a website? Is all my social media profiles professional enough? Is there any apps I should invest in? Anymore questions I should figure out and answer?Maybe find some people in the industry to network with. Maybe also find someone to ripe my work to shreds to show what I need to improve.go over photoshop editing skillsContinue my 365 day art challenge (almost 4 months now) ~Get back into yoga Either go to class (if I can) or atleast find video to useatleast 2 times a weekif I do at home, beware of the cat ~Spin class atleast once a weekcurling in a ball and crying afterward optional ~meditation redownload that appdo for atleast 10 minutes a dayrelax ~drink some tea replace coffee addiction with tearelaxenjoyand avoid that sugary bs "tea" ~budget download an app for budgettingpay off debt (student loan and money owe the college)question if I need that thing ex that really cool Assassins Creed game that you want or another bookset a budget of what I can spend a weekfind a way to pay for ticket (either plane or Amtrak to get to Camp NF) ~look for a new job don't curse out coworkers just yetdon't quit current job without backup jobplease a job with animalsfull time be the best if possiblecall that temp agency if they have any leads ~(and last but not least) stop comparing oneself (for fsm sake) remember everyone is at at different stage in their lifestop thinking not good enoughreflect once a week on what has been accomplishedstop obsessing on things that can't be fix (ex the past)stop getting sick over the future Bonus: check emails and messages at the end of the day Now may the odds be ever in my favor.

Hi guys. It's been awhile. Decided I need a 6 week challenge in place for me, since I've been stalling out a bit the past few weeks.

So basically my life is becoming small living hell (my parents making more out of nothing and blowing it up out of portion). Funny how I'm not breaking down like usually would happen. My parents decided we don't need to talk to my old therapist together, which they suggest. They don't want to hear about their bullshit. Fun having my parents telling me I'm going to end up in another hospital. I think they don't understand if I end up in another hospital (highly doubt it, won't allow myself), they will be completely cut off from my life. I seriously want to punch my mom in the mouth every time she say it. And of course, I'm going to change attitudes when you start the bullshit. *grrr*

Funny how my parents told me I was going to f*** up without my meds and guess WHO did *sigh* I can't win in this house.

So I f***ed even more in my parents' eyes. Now back on my meds because of it. I feel so upset. I haven't been cutting or trying to kill myself, but because quote on quote went behind their backs to see old friend, who they say isn't good for me. *sigh* I really hate having my depression because my life becomes a democracy for the rest of the family to choice what happens in my life (no my words my mom's). Seriously why can't I f*** up like a normal adult? Why does my past constantly have to brought up? And why can't I for once be selfish (can't take being a door mat anymore)? I should just accept I can't do anything about my life. I'm stuck again.

Hey guys. I started a 365 day art challenge for myself. Today day 13. I find to be great way to force myself to focus on actually do something. It helps I gave myself a few guidelines for it.

Trying so hard to stick to the schedule seems like everything keeps getting in the way of it. Already feeling like going to die at the idea of my friend's art exhibit. I feel like skipping. Too deeply afraid of my parents finally kicking me out. Sucks so much being the disappointment child. I basically dropped out of college twice (couldn't do it, since had my stress and my family's to balance). I know this really getting bad after my mom going on about WHAT I AM going to spend my tax refund (hint not going towards a replacement car for my poor dying 20 yr car). Worst enough few times, she acts I owe her (feel like a maid around here now). Also, my mom basically deciding (without telling me) she doesn't want me to take job opportunity which $20 an hour for the summer, but *gasp* there's men. I want to punch her for that. Seriously I need that money. And I'm already being treat really poorly at my job, so what's big deal if I was to do that job instead. I feel like I'm forced into a corner at home. I want a hug now.

I meant travel wise as in other countries. And yes there's been quit a few lesbians that have been killed over past 10 years

Not as stressful once I give myself guidelines and at time I must get it done. I should do a schedule today. And I already did more with the program.

Do I really seem unhappy with me being a lesbian? Compared to few months ago, I seem way better. I think more unhappy with so many places can't visit without possibly getting killed

I think that's probably what I did with getting my haircut. And help had some clothes with me just in worst case scenario my parents decided 'today was the day to finally kick me out'. I think I worry about too many stupid things (get it from living in my household for too long...everything is going to kill me).

Omfsm that's right forgot few other members might not fit into GSM

Might help http://willkempartschool.com/the-3-reasons-why-you-cant-draw-and-what-to-do-about-it/ http://design.tutsplus.com/articles/i-want-to-draw-simple-exercises-for-complete-beginners--vector-20583 Seriously, doing the very basics (no matter how boring) will help in the long run. Perspective...learn it will make things bit easier. http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Draw---Basic-Linear-Perspective/ Shading http://www.toadhollowstudio.com/drawing_workshops/Shading_1.html Seriously, if you want to learn, basically don't listen to people, who will bring you down. Everyone starts as a beginner, just few manage to get through it with lot of failure and became "masters".

Can't tell if being sarcastic or just seriously having a bad day. Not everything is about money dear.

GSM sounds so much easier to remember.

Will you take pictures on your lovely projects? *puppy dog eyes*

I love to get even more info on mental dysphoria