smashmp

Chill as a mofo. You can stream his album for free on his website! http://music.sufjan.com

I've been listening to Sufjan Stevens during my lifts. It seems so counterproductive but damn is it soothing. I feel a lot less rushed.

I'm gonna have to continue to peruse the linked site a bit; some really cool info. You weren't kidding about the sciency side of it all. Thanks!

As someone married to the opposite of the surfer/athletic-type, I'm going to disagree on the point on oppression. The same could be said about men's bodies (I really don't want to say "dadbod" but there it is) being accepted, even sought after, but women are expected to maintain a very unrealistic standard of beauty/weight. I understand the discomfort he may have being that I'm proactively working on my health and fitness and changing before his eyes. The only "oppression" would be if he sabotaged my healthy dinner by dumping a few tablespoons of sugar all over it. That's extreme of course, and he never would do such a thing because he's not a jerk, but there still exists the subconscious forms of "sabotage." Again, as most loving SO's would (male or female), he respects my decisions even if they don't quite jive for himself personally. I certainly respect the "shoe-on-the-other-foot" perspective, but I don't think either men or women have it easier than the other. I think we struggle equally, to be honest, but in different areas. That said, I really appreciate the linked article! It was a good read; of course, nothing really new to me, but I enjoyed it.

I'll take said win!

Lol I'm actually the ass-grabber/slapper in the relationship. Funny how that works sometimes.

Most certainly not! I'll have to add this to pics of other ladies that lift. Also, to update, I finally womaned up and said something to my husband and made my goals clear and that bodybuilding is not my end-goal. He apologized for seeming in any way unsupportive or discouraging. He also mentioned he has a hard time keeping up due to aches and pains in his back and knees and stated more concern for my safety than anything. He says he feels old and is disappointed in himself that he can't keep pace with me. To which, of course, I said everyone has their limits/pace and that I'm there if he's ready to jump in head first again. It was a good talk he didn't even realize that what he said may have been hurtful (the whole finding me unattractive thing if I continue to lean out). At any rate, it's still a matter of continually making sure he knows I know my body better than anyone and that I won't push myself to injury or overexertion.

And just like that, it's over. Not much new to report, other than I had a very busy weekend and still managed to get a good lift in. I've started squatted heavier without my belt. Previously, I was unable to DL 205 without a belt, but knocked out a set of 3 yesterday with no belt and good form. Still wearing the belt for 215, but overall, a vast improvement. Speaking of belts, I'm pretty excited to officially wear my new rank in karate this week. It's been a good challenge and really helped me shrug the plateau I'd hit both in my lifting routine and my body measurements. Since this challenge, I've finally broken the 165 lb bodyweight mark and currently hover around 160-162. I've hit DL PRs and just generally feel good again. Onto the next one.

I'd bring it up with your instructor. Or, ask before any of your partnered exercises begin what level of intensity is expected. I've run into this in my Shotokan class. There's a guy who is twice my size in his mid-40s who refuses to dial back when we wind up as partners. Mind you, he's roughly 6'2" and I'm 5'4" and female. I generally don't make mention of his refusal to dial down, but between sets, I raise my hand and ask our sensei a question or two and slip in a question about how much power to throw behind it. That usually calms him down, since he's not entirely aware of his own strength. It's an annoying thing to deal with, especially if you're being injured during class.

UPDATE! I'm happy to report that I've finally achieved goals set out in a 6WC. On Sunday (5/17/15), I had my karate exam. I slipped up on a turn early into the exam that kinda threw my head out of the game, but I did my best to shake it off and keep going. Up until that point, I knew I was overthinking every single move. After silently calling myself an idiot, I took a breath and reminded myself that this really isn't any different than what we do in class every week. So, I tried putting myself in class instead of pressuring myself to land everything since I was being tested. Got through the rest of the exam and felt pretty good, except for the one hackjob of a turn I made. Went to class yesterday and the results were in: I passed! Promoted from yellow to blue is a nice way to ease out of this challenge and prep myself for the next one since there's a massive gap between now and my next exam; likely another year before I test.

Distance, unfortunately. However, day I ditched my membership was also the day I decided to invest in a barbell, plates and bench that also went high enough to act as a squat rack. I went to a sports equipment resale shop near my house, got all the necessities, and drove out to the gym to kill the membership. I haven't regretted it. The $150 worth of equipment purchased has more than paid for itself in the last 6 months. On one hand, I miss the mirrors lining the walls. Vain, I know. Still, I don't miss this one dude in particular that was so loud. I don't mind a grunt here and there; I do it too. But this guy would grunt taking breaths, drinking water, walking, etc. What made it awkward was the fact he also rides my train to work.

When we started a year ago, this was totally the case. Unfortunately, dinner is the only meal we eat together, and - more often than not - it's nutrient dense, especially on my lift days. I say "my" lift days, because there doesn't seem to be much motivation on his part anymore. I've tried to light that fire again to get him excited about making changes in his life, but he has to want to do it on his own. In fairness to him though, he's been pretty psyched for the last couple weeks since I gave him my old FitBit Flex (I upgraded to the Charge HR). I'm hoping that'll help him at least find his respawn point.

Gah double post...

I absolutely want to be attractive to my spouse, no denying that. I'd also like to feel good about myself inside and out. We've even had the conversations that we would love the other even if they were 600 lbs. I respect my husband's opinions over all others, of course. And I respect him as a human being. I truly believe he wants the best for me, as I do for him. However, I would like to show him - preferably without completely comparing myself to another female that lifts - that I know what I'm doing.

This is an excellent point. I have a hard time with any kind of conflict, no matter how benign. I'll bring up this up the next lift day (likely tomorrow). Is there some jealousy involved? I'm not sure. It's not uncommon for a PR to come with a comment about taking it easy. doing more reps at lower weight, etc. I'm really unsure if he's jealous or feeling down on himself. He's sensitive when it comes to his own weight (he's 5'9", 240 lbs). I've recently stopped asking him if he wants to work out with me because the only exercise he engages in is bench press, when he used to actively DL/squat with me. Otherwise, he sits on the bench and waits for me to finish my DLs and spots my heavier squats. Each time I ask if he'd like to do a set, and each time there's an excuse not to.

And that's the thing: if I get to a point where I personally say to myself, "whoops, I Hulked up a little too much," I'll have the sense to adjust. But the likelihood of me getting there isn't all to likely, unless I intentionally try to get myself there. Even then, that's a massive amount of work. I understand that there's a point where some may think I'm "bulky," when I'm actually just leaner. Even so, I live in this skin. No one else.

So, I'm not entirely sure how to start this, so I'll just jump right in. Also, for those who don't feel like reading my long-winded backstory, jump down to tl;dr. About a year ago, miserable at 185 lb (5'4"), I started reading Nerd Fitness in search of tips/tricks to help me "get better" at karate. My husband is actually the one who got me into karate (he did it from about age 10-21), and I underestimate just how damn hard it is. In my search on NF, I happened upon the article about Staci and her powerlifting journey. Though there were some differences, the challenges she faced pre-lifting were similar to my own. Her story inspired me to go to the "scary" side of the gym and pick up a barbell. I was hooked from that moment. It just so happens that my husband is my gym buddy. My husband is awesome. He's always been supportive of whatever I jump into, and he's there to cheer me on whether I success, fail or just break even. But I digress. When I told him I wanted to start weightlifting, he was excited. I was pretty thrilled too because he has experience lifting and could at least show me the ropes on proper form. Cool, all is well. (tl;dr) I started getting stronger, and began increasing both weight and reps while noticeably decreasing in bodyweight (down to 162 lb currently). These are all good things. Then, it happened...one day as we were leaving the gym after one of my big PR days, he said, "You should take it easy. You just want to focus on conditioning; make sure you don't get bulky." Although I know better, I was crushed because I assumed he knew better. I even showed him the article about Staci (update included, debunking such bulking nonsense), and yet the myth persists. As recently as yesterday, the "b" word has been uttered; once again, on a PR day (215 lb deadlift). I feel like an idiot for even asking this, but I'm curious. Has anyone else encountered this with their significant other? If so, how did you enlighten them without telling them they're straight up wrong?