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Queen of Denial

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About Queen of Denial

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    Newbie
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  • Location
    Oregon
  1. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on last week. After posting that I was stuck, and then reading your responses, I was able to get up out of the chair and go for a walk - and just like that, things have been working again. This community rocks!
  2. Aaargh! My own psyche is sabotaging me! Before the start of the challenge, I was meeting all of my goals on a pretty regular basis. It felt good to take the dog for a 2 mile walk, to do some pushups, to eat well. Now that the challenge has started - I can't seem to get out the door! I had great excuses, of course. I was too busy on Monday. On Tuesday, my doctor tells me I'm doing so well that I don't need to check my blood sugar daily, so of course that means I can immediately abandon the changes I've made. A bag of potato chips and a frozen macaroni and cheese later, I simply went to sleep. On Wednesday, I was too busy and it was too cold. Yesterday, it was too cold and icy. Today - well, today, I'm here looking for a push. As you all can see, my super-power of Denial is in full force! I have a deadly habit of thinking that since I can't possibly accomplish what I set out to do, why bother starting? I'm going to fail anyway. I thought I was past this particular hurdle but here it is again. Steve's post yesterday about auditing my path is really, really apt right now!
  3. Day 1: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to encourage me as I embark on my epic quest of awsomeness! Yesterday, I bought a large calendar with no dates on it and a bunch of sticker stars. Tonight I'll hang it up where I can see it every day. At the top I'll write my quest and my motivation. Each day will have my mini goals on them, and each day I accomplish that mini goal I'll put a star on it. My daughter, home for the weekend, rolled her eyes at me as if she were saying "another one of your silly projects that will amount to nothing." I get it, daughter dear. There are so many things that I've started and not finished. But this one - this one is different. This project is for me, not for you, not for my father, not for anyone but me. I intend to have the shiniest, most colorful, star-filled calendar that anyone can imagine - because I deserve it!
  4. MAIN QUEST: Lose 65 pounds by October 2, 2015. That's 1.25 pounds per week. GOAL 1: Walk 2 miles 4 times per week or 24 times in 6 weeks A = 22 to 24 times B = 19 to 21 times C = 16 to 20 times D = 14 to 15 times F = < 14 times GOAL 2: 20 each pushups, lunges, squats, crunches 4 times per week or 24 times in 6 weeks A = 22 to 24 times B = 19 to 21 times C = 16 to 20 times D = 14 to 15 times F = < 14 times GOAL 3: Add 1/2 hour stationary biking 4 times per week while watching tv. A = 22 to 24 times B = 19 to 21 times C = 16 to 20 times D = 14 to 15 times F = < 14 times LIFE QUEST: Apply for 6 new job positions in 6 weeks. A = 6 B = 5 C = 4 D = 3 F = < 3 DIET QUEST: Cut out all foods with high fructose corn syrup. MOTIVATION: To live the life I've denied myself for so long. To put my self, my needs, my desires first. To avoid the slow, painful, miserable death my father had. Starting weight: 217 Current weight: 209 13%13%
  5. Jiminy crickets! I really don't know what I'm doing as I've now posted twice!
  6. Queen of Denial. That's me. I'm really good at denying the obvious in my life. Looming work deadline? Time for the house to get really clean! No cash flow? Time to go out drinking! Obese, sedentary, unhealthy? Time to watch more tv and snack and never get out of my jammies! You would have thought I would have changed my health habits last year when I suffered as I watched my father slowly, painfully die as a direct result of his denial of his own health problems. But noooooo. I mean, I figured I needed to lose weight as I hit 250 and had trouble walking a set of stairs, but really, it could wait because a doctor, 30 years ago, told me I was healthy and didn't need to lose weight. As I said, Queen of Denial. That all changed on October 2nd. That day, I got the results of some tests from the first checkup I'd had in 15 years or more. (Yay, Obamacare!) And they weren't good - elevated cholesterol levels and Type II Diabetes. Suddenly, forcefully, I confronted the consequences of my own denial. I faced the same miserable, slow death my father put himself through. That day, I made the decision to change my life. That day, I decided to do a kitchen purge of all sugary and simple carbohydrate filled food. That day, I decided to go for a walk. That day, I decided that I mattered. That day, I decided to put myself as my highest priority. So here we are, 5 weeks later, and I am totally surprised at the changes I am already seeing. I've dropped 8 pounds. I've lowered my blood sugar 100 points. I don't pant when I walk up the ramp from my home to the parking lot. Huh. That was easy. I've set a goal to lose a total of 65 pounds over the next year. I've set a goal to go skiing at least 10 times this winter and stay out all day. I've set a goal to get off the medications by October 2 next year. I've set a goal to do things to better myself every day, physically, mentally, emotionally. I look forward to hearing from all of you and to cheering you on in your epic journeys to health! PS - I may be a self-professed nerd, but I don't know how to code. Can someone please tell me how to put one of those progress bars in my posts?
  7. Hello! I've been lurking on this site for oh so many months, looking for motivation and trying to convince myself that if all these other folk could do this, I could do this. Yet motivation escaped me until October 2nd. That day, I had results from my first checkup in 15 years. (Yay, Obamacare!) And they weren't good. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes and high cholesterol. Last year, my father died as a direct result of these conditions which he ignored. It was a miserable death, one that haunts me today. Suddenly, the motivation was there. I refuse to be as miserable as my father was and I refuse to make my own daughter suffer the way I did watching him slowly kill himself. Since October 2, I've cut nearly all sugar and processed foods from my diet, upped my walking to a minimum of 2 miles a day, and as a result, I've lost 8 pounds and lowered my blood sugar count 100 points. Yay me! Funny thing is, this is way easier than I thought it would be. I'm surprised to find that, on those days when I don't get a chance to work up a sweat, I find I really miss it. I'm keeping track of what I eat and I've found I'm averaging more calories per day than before, but they are different calories and I'm always full - and still lose weight. So now I want to officially jump into the pool here and really participate in the community. I'm signing up for the next 6 week challenge. I'm looking forward to hearing from you and to cheering you on in your epic journey to health! [progress=green][/progress]
  8. I'm getting those pushups done - on the wall - but getting them done every day! But the rest of these - not so much. My weight is such that getting down on the floor and back up again isn't the easiest thing to do, so I tend to avoid anything that requires it. As for jumping jacks, I am embarrassed to say that it's not my chesticles that are flapping around so much (thank you support bra!) but it's my lower stomach flab. Really noisy and painful! Any ideas for a support garment for this area that is still flexible enough to exercise in? PS - How do I get one of those cool bars that show how much percentage of my goal I've accomplished?
  9. Days 1-6 - So far you've hit on all the things that I'm already doing! My favorite protein changes frequently, but I often eat chicken - usually in a stir fry or curry of some sort so that I get lots of vegetables, too. Recipe changes from day to day, but generally involves a couple teaspoons of minced garlic heated in a quality vegetable oil on high heat, add in the cubed chicken and stir until white, add in onions and whatever other vegetables I have on hand and sautee for another couple of minutes, then add water and seasoning/sauce until done. Serve with brown rice. I have a psychological block against anything involving fish / shellfish, and I'd like to attempt to change this. So, I'm looking for recipes for tasty fish dishes, preferably ones that don't smell like fish!
  10. I've chosen Queen of Denial as my avatar for two reasons: One, I love puns. Two, it characterizes the way I've lived my entire life. One of my favorite tactics for dealing with uncomfortable reality is to simply ignore it. My house never gets cleaner than when I have a looming work deadline! If I wait a little longer, things will resolve themselves. My needs / wishes / desires will be fulfilled if I only resolve my father's / my husband's / my kid's needs first. I've told myself I didn't need to go on a diet or follow an exercise regime because my doctor told me 25 years ago that I didn't need to lose any weight. This ignored the reality that I am now over 50, with a strong family history of heart issues, and fit squarely in the "obese" category. One month ago, everything changed. After not having health insurance for almost 20 years I finally can afford it (Yay, Obamacare!) and got my first check up in many years. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. My life came to a screeching halt. Now before you go giving me your condolences, I want you to understand that I think this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. This diagnosis has done several things: 1. It's forced me to put my own needs first. 2. it's forced me to change my diet. 3. It's forced me to start and follow an exercise regime. 4. It's liberated me. I no longer have the luxury of ignoring reality. I no longer care what other people think of me. I can't afford to wait anymore. I can say yes to what I want and no to what other's want me to do for them. In one month's time, I've cut almost all sugar and wheat out of my diet, I've lost 8 pounds, and I've upped my daily steps from an average of under 1000 to an average of 4000 per day. I have a long way to go. My goal is to lose a total of 65 pounds, to ski all day without losing my breath, and to follow my dreams on a daily basis. I know I can reach these goals - but I can use the help of a community like this, someplace where I am accountable, someplace where I am encouraged. Thanks, everyone, for being here for me!
  11. Day 1: Since October 1, my snacks, if I have any, are fruit - sometimes with peanutbutter, sometimes with cheese. Day 2: Just had this dish at a party the other day - it was delicious! Green beans - steamed Crumbled feta Pistachio nuts Toss with balsalmic vinegar. Awesome taste combo! Day 3: None since October 1! Day 4: Breakfast today was oatmeal (no sugar, but a pat of butter), a ripe bartlett pear, and some colby-jack cheese. Not elegant, but filling!
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