spezzy

pssssst.

okay, update! back on track and trying some new things. first - i've realized that one of the things I need right now (and maybe long term) is some more focused alone time. I used to get a few hours of alone time every day when I went to the gym and put my headphones on and didn't talk to many people and it was one of the most important parts of my day. Because a lot of my issues are overstimulation issues, and issues that have come up since I've been able to take that time, I'm focusing on getting more alone time. My morning walks were my alone time in the morning for a long time, but since I enjoy going on them with Rurik, and he wants to come too, instead I'm going to get up first thing on my own, grabbing the dogs, getting outside, and doing the morning animal chores on my own. These are all things I really enjoy doing and are the perfect slow (and alone) start to my day, so I'm excited for this. I've been doing this and it has already made a huge difference. In addition, I'm going to work out on my own, with my headphones on, for the most part. We can do some workouts together, but it will be considered my alone time. I've done this 2 days now and it's helping a LOT. I might even try to go to a gym here and there, but I'm enjoying my garage gym so we'll see if i feel like that's needed. 1) Spellbooks/Nightly Scheduling/Follow the Schedule We're now doing dinner at the "table" and doing nightly scheduling then, and have a whiteboard just for this. It's been a struggle to figure out some better formats, but this seems to work well. We're also focusing on what's needed for the next day and getting those things ready ahead 2) Walking every morning We've done this every single day and it's been great. Keeping this up as is with the modifications above that I'm doing the walk after my chores. If we do the walk after the chores maybe Huckleberry will learn to do his big morning 💩 on the property instead of making me pick it up in a big bag 😂 3) Exercise in the gym every day As a part of the schedule I now have a certain timeframe during the day to work AND get a workout in. This week's challenge is to either take a 2 hr break within that time period to get in a workout, or end the day 2 hours early for a break and a workout. This is my non negotiable and it's working so far. Today's gonna be a bit of a challenge because I had a mammogram this morning so just running a bit behind but will get it in! Monday --> Bench Press, pull-ups, rowing Tuesday --> Squats, goblet squats, hip strength work 4) Yoga every night Somehow had gotten off this last week - I honestly couldn't handle much emotionally other than staring at the ceiling. But back on this the last few days (sat-sun-mon-tues) and it's been great. Last night I was running super behind so just did a few minutes of stretches on my own before bed but got it done. 5) 3-4 servings of veggies and protein each day Last week same with just feeling overall incapable of focusing on much other than healing emotionally. I did get in enough food though and have not dropped more weight. Food is going well this week - lots of protein, lots of veg, and I even opted for a pre-gym protein shake and I haven't done that in a very long time. Just spezzy goals: --> Nutrition goal will start this week, have time in the new schedule we put together for it. the rest are moving along!

Thanks, everyone ❤️ The good news is lots of things are in place and moving forward, even if slow, but I'm really focusing on how to do more of the things that I love and bring me energy and less of (none of) the things that are bringing me emotional stress. This last week was the hardest it's been and I've been grateful to have the hot tub to hang out in and a cat who sleeps on my desk all day while I'm at work and races me to my office in the morning, It's definitely the little things Also getting this sorted is "super secret project" from my goals.

How's the martial arts school going? Sounds like a great idea!

on a happier note, yesterday was felix's birthday: And the flock integration between the Queens and the Babies is going well Here is one of the little frizzles (Razzle is her name) playing in the nest box for the first time:

Update, update, Wednesday update. Confession time: I'm struggling big time. A couple of weeks ago, a giant super stressful thing happened along with a few other super stressful things, all work related, all in short succession, and honestly really not wanting to talk about because of who my employer is, but they are working with me to make things better so really this is just a post about my stress. It is something that's been slowly building for the last while, though, and at this point, it's made the days very difficult to get through, and my doc says the weight loss and potentially some of the flare up in health stuff was just from the stress of it all. I'm finding that very small things are triggering me (I turned on heart rate alerts, for example, and there have been multiple situations this week where something has made my heart rate spike to over 140 while me sitting here reading it). So I'm working on that, have recognized it, and took my first mental health day yesterday that I've taken in almost 13 years. I'm back today and have a live Q&A tonight I'm actually excited about doing, but outside of that am taking things light this week - I've got some backup to help with my clients so I can step out whenever I need. I haven't worked out this week, but I have spent a lot of time outside hanging out with the chickens, goats, and in the hot tub. Have walked every morning, though, and figured out some solutions to my routine issues, that I'll talk about more when I have the brain power. Starting to pick things back up more today. Anyway, just being honest about the source of a lot of my struggles lately. I've felt like I can't talk about it because of the situation and that's made being here a bit more difficult, too, because it's the main source of my struggles the last bit, so I've really felt myself start to pull away from the forums...and I want to change that.

Thank you!! It definitely has been a huge help already so hoping it continues It's already been so great - especially since the way our hot water works it's hard to get enough for a good hot bath inside. Should have prioritized it a looooooong time ago. Yeah, it definitely is something where if you travel a lot, it doesn't make sense at all. It really is so much work and expensive to get help in, too. In my past life I had accepted that animals weren't going to be a thing for me, and I was perfectly happy with that - but also am equally as happy to have found this path again, if that makes sense Don't worry, I have a LOT of pictures to share 😂 😂😂😂

Week one update! 1) Spellbooks (nightly scheduling/follow the schedule) Last week was rough for me mentally for a lot of reasons, and additionally I ran a live Q&A for a new thing we're testing out for Nerd Fitness which was from 8-10pm on Tuesday and that threw my sleep right off for the rest of the week 🙃 I have another one every week for the foreseeable future, so need to figure out how to handle that better. But I did get up on my own at 8:15 today, so that tells you everything is shifting in the right direction which is great. 2) Walking every morning 7/7, full walk every day, to at least the brook and back: 3) Exercise in the gym every day 5 out of 7, but the other 2 days I did do squats in the house, so something even though it wasn't in the garage. This week I need to take a picture in the gym every day while I'm there. I started that last week and it helped. 4) Yoga every night 7 out of 7! The new room has been super helpful to have everything set up ahead of time. 10-12 minutes of down dog app every single night. 5) 3-4 servings of veggies and protein each day I honestly haven't tracked my food in so long I haven't been tracking this and forgot I was even supposed to, which makes sense with where my brain has been at all week. I will start! I have been eating a ton of protein and veg though. Misc Goals: 1) Focus on my nutrition certification and get at least 1/4 done (has to be done by end of year) *have not started 2) Finish getting my own sites (for farm and for myself) up and running *have the sites, domains, word press, and placeholders set up! 3) Meditation - working up to doing this at least 3-5 minutes/day *kind of forgot about this, too 4) phone hygiene - i don't have specific goals but watch myself here *I HAVE been focusing a lot on this. One thing is that Rurik set up a temporary table for us to eat at and I have a new rule of no phone while we're eating at all unless it's to look up something we both decided to look up or to add something to the to do list app because we just decided we should. 5) Secret side project I can't really talk about here. *reached out to friends for some help/direction (thanks, @nightlight!) A few photo updates: Felix on our new beanbag chair: lotsa protein and veggies: both the boys trying to fit on the beanbag chair with me to comfort me when i had my ankle raised and icing it (my ankle found yellowjackets D:) Hot tub is now open which has already been a huge quality of life improvement!! That's it for now! Gonna focus on more frequent updates this upcoming week

Yeah! It's just wild. And I remember being those younger ages and just feeling like that person is still there but also not at all. It's such a great question and I feel more and more like the good place has it right with Jeremy Bearimy: My Mom once said to me that she was surprised every time she looked in the mirror and saw an old person, and I totally get that now! Yeah, seasonal stuff is a HUGE issue for me, so I have one of those lights for my desk, the biggest thing I've found makes a difference is getting outside as soon after I get up as possible (and into the sun), and also a quick afternoon before the sun goes down outside time, even if it's a few minutes. Something mentally upsetting when you get up for your afternoon break at work at 330 and it's already dark... Yeah, absolutely, and that's a great approach to take that can work so well. There's SO MUCH value in doing things when they suck, and pushing outside of your comfort zone - and honestly for a well balanced fitness program I feel like there are going to be elements of it that are always going to suck. One reason I want to eventually get back to lifting (or Crossfit) a few times a month with other people is that I feel like it really pushes me in a way that being alone doesn't. For me the getting out into the gym goal is actually pretty similar, just taking the additional variable of illness into consideration. I WANT to be lifting and getting in a workout, but the actual act of doing it could land me in the hospital, so the bare minimum is go in and figure out what to do that's actually safe - to start to maybe also figure out some ideas for when those days are bad, since it doesn't seem like they're going to go completely away anytime soon. So, kind of the same thing with comfort zone just more in a "i'm dizzy on the floor so my original plan is off the table" kind of way 😂 And if it turns out that the safest thing for me on those days IS stomping around the farm and doing what feels best and just being active? Then that's a good thing to know, too!

Yesss I'd love to go to one in the future! We just got our yoga room set up and the TV is in there, so we can hook that up and then do one of yours I love that you're doing the classes and putting yourself out there. That's the best way to get started with any of this! I was thinking maybe more a chimmy... But after reviewing evidence maybe you are on to something there... They've been SO MUCH FUN - I leased a goat for 4-H for a summer once as a kid, but I was only able to have rabbits and chickens on the property we had, so I've really been enjoying finally being able to have them

Razzle says welcome to our challenge Thank you - you as well!!! ❤️ New decades are such an amazing slate open for all sorts of new opportunity and reflection and growth - I'm sure I'll get to that excited point, too, but probably a little closer to my week off that I'm taking for it 😂 Oh you don't even know how much you've inspired me - I've been looking at yoga certification programs around here and trying to figure out when/how to fit them into the (long term) schedule and budget. Also have been trying to figure out how to convince you to come here and teach goat yoga.... Yay team nutrition cert!! I'll check in with you as well, let's do this thing!! 💪 Anticlimatic feels a bit right with feelings up to this point - and everyone is like oh you should do a trip or a big party and I'm just like... I kind of want to just hang out with my goats and my dogs and my chickens and sit back and enjoy all that I've built this year! 😂 Great advice all around there So important to focus on being happy exactly where you are -it's definitely something that I've learned to embrace the last few years, especially with the lyme stuff. I think with me right now it's not so much being upset about it or wanting to be younger or stay younger, even. Life has just moved so fast and I've learned so much the last few years that I just feel kind of... unprepared and not ready and confused as to when this happened, I guess? but it's fine, and anyway, what a better excuse to build as much muscle as possible? no they do not 😂

a couple of day 1 updates: we're now getting 8-11 eggs a day with 11 laying hens and 18 who will come into laying age soon, so you can call me Gaston: but we'll be doing a LOT of egg dishes for protein moving forward haha we also made a yoga/no stimulation/no animal room yesterday - i still need to get things like curtains and a ceiling fan and paint the walls but it's a start: and we did do yoga the last 2 nights in the room, so that's a start. the goats are now outside most days (they're actually outside during their first downpour rainstorm today, and aren't thrilled about it, but they're in their barn and it's perfectly dry in there and they're going to have to get used to not being in the basement when it's wet out. here's zora being a drama queen: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw583kxg32H/ and one of our baby chimpers Also I set up my gym and fixed the floor, building a giant 16x20 platform that will allow me to lift with an even floor that does not shift at least until spring when we can hopefully tackle the concrete and redoing everything in there. But this should last at least until then (if not longer), so yay: Still have to paint the walls, fix the ceiling so that we can hang some stuff better from it, and a few other things, but it's a huge start. that's it for now, gotta finish up work and then go get a workout in!

Yeah! It's been super helpful for me for goals like walking in the past, I just don't know why I haven't implemented it across basically everything yet. With all of this health stuff lately, it's so hard to know like... when am I being too nice to myself and when am I pushing too hard and the like, so i figure if there's a "bare minimum" i can do no matter what, I can do at least that and if I feel up for it I can keep going... but if not I know I showed up still and put in my best effort. So for me it changes the goal from "how well or thoroughly did you do the thing" to "did you do the thing or not" which is so big mentally. Right?? It's not like I'm upset about it (🎶 "When I grow up, I wanna be an old woman...") but like - when? how? like i've thought about turning 40 for a while, but like when did then become... now? Thank you! I really hope so - the 30's were definitely tough, but feel like I'm on a much better path than I have been in a long time

Thanks so much @shaar!! We definitely need to meet up soon no matter what!

Right at the end of this challenge, I turn 40, so that's really really exciting! (jk i am fine with it... for the most part 😆 ) Anyway, the last few years have been some of the toughest of my life, and I'm really struggling with finding myself and figuring out who I am again. I’ve got some major life changes in the works that will help, but this challenge is gonna focus on the getting the fitness stuff back in order. I was really sick the majority of last challenge (...I somehow even lost 17lb ), but am feeling better again now and have full clearance to move forward with fitness stuff. It feels like most challenges have ended up like the trans-matter ray, though: I go in with the right intentions, getting some of the way there, but the results are, well, mush. And honestly, when it comes to me and just general feeling of life? And I would like for it to be closer there by the time I hit 40. And good news is: But obviously what I've been doing hasn't been working, and I recognize that. SO it's time for a different kind of challenge: I'm teaming up with @Rurik Harrgath on this, at least for the most part. Since we're both having health challenges, we've decided to make our main goals the same, because honestly right now we need to focus on the basics so we're hoping if we do it together it will help both of us. Anyway, So goals? Keeping them simple and schedule based: 1) Spellbooks/Nightly Scheduling/Follow the Schedule Most importantly: follow the schedule. We're shifting to an earlier schedule for the sake of winter mental health and for the animals, as its going to be getting dark by 430pm here very, very soon. 2) Walking every morning We had switched this to offer some alternatives, like walking through the woods here, but in order for this to count moving forward it needs to be a walk where we put the dogs on leashes and go somewhere for the purpose of a walk. If it's a bad health day, it's to the mailbox and back, which is at least at the very edge of the property. 3) Exercise in the gym every day I know, I know you say - every day is a lot. But this means a workout of ANY length, including a 100m row. If its a bad health day, walking to the gym (it's in a detached garage) and doing a stretch or sitting in there for a few minutes is enough. The goal here is to build the habit and get used to being in the gym consistently again. 4) Yoga every night We have the down dog app, so at least a few minutes. We set up a yoga room for this that is to be animal free. I love all the animals but with 4 cats and 2 dogs in the house, any sort of personal space is hard and one of my post lyme things is overstimulation issues, so having a room where we can remove as much stimulation as possible will be great. Plus I'm excited to not go out to my yoga room and find vomit all over my mat 🤮 5) 3-4 servings of veggies and protein each day I lost 17lb last challenge, down to 141 as of this morning, sooooo I'm gonna be tracking to make sure I'm getting enough food. So 3-4 servings of veggies, 3-4 servings of protein Just spezzy goals: 1) Focus on my nutrition certification and get at least 1/4 done (has to be done by end of year) 2) Finish getting my own sites (for farm and for myself) up and running 3) Meditation - working up to doing this at least 3-5 minutes/day 4) phone hygiene - i don't have specific goals but watch myself here 5) Secret side project I can't really talk about here. anyway happy challenge y'alllllllll