spezzy

on a happier note, yesterday was felix's birthday: And the flock integration between the Queens and the Babies is going well Here is one of the little frizzles (Razzle is her name) playing in the nest box for the first time:

Update, update, Wednesday update. Confession time: I'm struggling big time. A couple of weeks ago, a giant super stressful thing happened along with a few other super stressful things, all work related, all in short succession, and honestly really not wanting to talk about because of who my employer is, but they are working with me to make things better so really this is just a post about my stress. It is something that's been slowly building for the last while, though, and at this point, it's made the days very difficult to get through, and my doc says the weight loss and potentially some of the flare up in health stuff was just from the stress of it all. I'm finding that very small things are triggering me (I turned on heart rate alerts, for example, and there have been multiple situations this week where something has made my heart rate spike to over 140 while me sitting here reading it). So I'm working on that, have recognized it, and took my first mental health day yesterday that I've taken in almost 13 years. I'm back today and have a live Q&A tonight I'm actually excited about doing, but outside of that am taking things light this week - I've got some backup to help with my clients so I can step out whenever I need. I haven't worked out this week, but I have spent a lot of time outside hanging out with the chickens, goats, and in the hot tub. Have walked every morning, though, and figured out some solutions to my routine issues, that I'll talk about more when I have the brain power. Starting to pick things back up more today. Anyway, just being honest about the source of a lot of my struggles lately. I've felt like I can't talk about it because of the situation and that's made being here a bit more difficult, too, because it's the main source of my struggles the last bit, so I've really felt myself start to pull away from the forums...and I want to change that.

Thank you!! It definitely has been a huge help already so hoping it continues It's already been so great - especially since the way our hot water works it's hard to get enough for a good hot bath inside. Should have prioritized it a looooooong time ago. Yeah, it definitely is something where if you travel a lot, it doesn't make sense at all. It really is so much work and expensive to get help in, too. In my past life I had accepted that animals weren't going to be a thing for me, and I was perfectly happy with that - but also am equally as happy to have found this path again, if that makes sense Don't worry, I have a LOT of pictures to share 😂 😂😂😂

Week one update! 1) Spellbooks (nightly scheduling/follow the schedule) Last week was rough for me mentally for a lot of reasons, and additionally I ran a live Q&A for a new thing we're testing out for Nerd Fitness which was from 8-10pm on Tuesday and that threw my sleep right off for the rest of the week 🙃 I have another one every week for the foreseeable future, so need to figure out how to handle that better. But I did get up on my own at 8:15 today, so that tells you everything is shifting in the right direction which is great. 2) Walking every morning 7/7, full walk every day, to at least the brook and back: 3) Exercise in the gym every day 5 out of 7, but the other 2 days I did do squats in the house, so something even though it wasn't in the garage. This week I need to take a picture in the gym every day while I'm there. I started that last week and it helped. 4) Yoga every night 7 out of 7! The new room has been super helpful to have everything set up ahead of time. 10-12 minutes of down dog app every single night. 5) 3-4 servings of veggies and protein each day I honestly haven't tracked my food in so long I haven't been tracking this and forgot I was even supposed to, which makes sense with where my brain has been at all week. I will start! I have been eating a ton of protein and veg though. Misc Goals: 1) Focus on my nutrition certification and get at least 1/4 done (has to be done by end of year) *have not started 2) Finish getting my own sites (for farm and for myself) up and running *have the sites, domains, word press, and placeholders set up! 3) Meditation - working up to doing this at least 3-5 minutes/day *kind of forgot about this, too 4) phone hygiene - i don't have specific goals but watch myself here *I HAVE been focusing a lot on this. One thing is that Rurik set up a temporary table for us to eat at and I have a new rule of no phone while we're eating at all unless it's to look up something we both decided to look up or to add something to the to do list app because we just decided we should. 5) Secret side project I can't really talk about here. *reached out to friends for some help/direction (thanks, @nightlight!) A few photo updates: Felix on our new beanbag chair: lotsa protein and veggies: both the boys trying to fit on the beanbag chair with me to comfort me when i had my ankle raised and icing it (my ankle found yellowjackets D:) Hot tub is now open which has already been a huge quality of life improvement!! That's it for now! Gonna focus on more frequent updates this upcoming week

Yeah! It's just wild. And I remember being those younger ages and just feeling like that person is still there but also not at all. It's such a great question and I feel more and more like the good place has it right with Jeremy Bearimy: My Mom once said to me that she was surprised every time she looked in the mirror and saw an old person, and I totally get that now! Yeah, seasonal stuff is a HUGE issue for me, so I have one of those lights for my desk, the biggest thing I've found makes a difference is getting outside as soon after I get up as possible (and into the sun), and also a quick afternoon before the sun goes down outside time, even if it's a few minutes. Something mentally upsetting when you get up for your afternoon break at work at 330 and it's already dark... Yeah, absolutely, and that's a great approach to take that can work so well. There's SO MUCH value in doing things when they suck, and pushing outside of your comfort zone - and honestly for a well balanced fitness program I feel like there are going to be elements of it that are always going to suck. One reason I want to eventually get back to lifting (or Crossfit) a few times a month with other people is that I feel like it really pushes me in a way that being alone doesn't. For me the getting out into the gym goal is actually pretty similar, just taking the additional variable of illness into consideration. I WANT to be lifting and getting in a workout, but the actual act of doing it could land me in the hospital, so the bare minimum is go in and figure out what to do that's actually safe - to start to maybe also figure out some ideas for when those days are bad, since it doesn't seem like they're going to go completely away anytime soon. So, kind of the same thing with comfort zone just more in a "i'm dizzy on the floor so my original plan is off the table" kind of way 😂 And if it turns out that the safest thing for me on those days IS stomping around the farm and doing what feels best and just being active? Then that's a good thing to know, too!

Yesss I'd love to go to one in the future! We just got our yoga room set up and the TV is in there, so we can hook that up and then do one of yours I love that you're doing the classes and putting yourself out there. That's the best way to get started with any of this! I was thinking maybe more a chimmy... But after reviewing evidence maybe you are on to something there... They've been SO MUCH FUN - I leased a goat for 4-H for a summer once as a kid, but I was only able to have rabbits and chickens on the property we had, so I've really been enjoying finally being able to have them

Razzle says welcome to our challenge Thank you - you as well!!! ❤️ New decades are such an amazing slate open for all sorts of new opportunity and reflection and growth - I'm sure I'll get to that excited point, too, but probably a little closer to my week off that I'm taking for it 😂 Oh you don't even know how much you've inspired me - I've been looking at yoga certification programs around here and trying to figure out when/how to fit them into the (long term) schedule and budget. Also have been trying to figure out how to convince you to come here and teach goat yoga.... Yay team nutrition cert!! I'll check in with you as well, let's do this thing!! 💪 Anticlimatic feels a bit right with feelings up to this point - and everyone is like oh you should do a trip or a big party and I'm just like... I kind of want to just hang out with my goats and my dogs and my chickens and sit back and enjoy all that I've built this year! 😂 Great advice all around there So important to focus on being happy exactly where you are -it's definitely something that I've learned to embrace the last few years, especially with the lyme stuff. I think with me right now it's not so much being upset about it or wanting to be younger or stay younger, even. Life has just moved so fast and I've learned so much the last few years that I just feel kind of... unprepared and not ready and confused as to when this happened, I guess? but it's fine, and anyway, what a better excuse to build as much muscle as possible? no they do not 😂

a couple of day 1 updates: we're now getting 8-11 eggs a day with 11 laying hens and 18 who will come into laying age soon, so you can call me Gaston: but we'll be doing a LOT of egg dishes for protein moving forward haha we also made a yoga/no stimulation/no animal room yesterday - i still need to get things like curtains and a ceiling fan and paint the walls but it's a start: and we did do yoga the last 2 nights in the room, so that's a start. the goats are now outside most days (they're actually outside during their first downpour rainstorm today, and aren't thrilled about it, but they're in their barn and it's perfectly dry in there and they're going to have to get used to not being in the basement when it's wet out. here's zora being a drama queen: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cw583kxg32H/ and one of our baby chimpers Also I set up my gym and fixed the floor, building a giant 16x20 platform that will allow me to lift with an even floor that does not shift at least until spring when we can hopefully tackle the concrete and redoing everything in there. But this should last at least until then (if not longer), so yay: Still have to paint the walls, fix the ceiling so that we can hang some stuff better from it, and a few other things, but it's a huge start. that's it for now, gotta finish up work and then go get a workout in!

Yeah! It's been super helpful for me for goals like walking in the past, I just don't know why I haven't implemented it across basically everything yet. With all of this health stuff lately, it's so hard to know like... when am I being too nice to myself and when am I pushing too hard and the like, so i figure if there's a "bare minimum" i can do no matter what, I can do at least that and if I feel up for it I can keep going... but if not I know I showed up still and put in my best effort. So for me it changes the goal from "how well or thoroughly did you do the thing" to "did you do the thing or not" which is so big mentally. Right?? It's not like I'm upset about it (🎶 "When I grow up, I wanna be an old woman...") but like - when? how? like i've thought about turning 40 for a while, but like when did then become... now? Thank you! I really hope so - the 30's were definitely tough, but feel like I'm on a much better path than I have been in a long time

Thanks so much @shaar!! We definitely need to meet up soon no matter what!

Right at the end of this challenge, I turn 40, so that's really really exciting! (jk i am fine with it... for the most part 😆 ) Anyway, the last few years have been some of the toughest of my life, and I'm really struggling with finding myself and figuring out who I am again. I’ve got some major life changes in the works that will help, but this challenge is gonna focus on the getting the fitness stuff back in order. I was really sick the majority of last challenge (...I somehow even lost 17lb ), but am feeling better again now and have full clearance to move forward with fitness stuff. It feels like most challenges have ended up like the trans-matter ray, though: I go in with the right intentions, getting some of the way there, but the results are, well, mush. And honestly, when it comes to me and just general feeling of life? And I would like for it to be closer there by the time I hit 40. And good news is: But obviously what I've been doing hasn't been working, and I recognize that. SO it's time for a different kind of challenge: I'm teaming up with @Rurik Harrgath on this, at least for the most part. Since we're both having health challenges, we've decided to make our main goals the same, because honestly right now we need to focus on the basics so we're hoping if we do it together it will help both of us. Anyway, So goals? Keeping them simple and schedule based: 1) Spellbooks/Nightly Scheduling/Follow the Schedule Most importantly: follow the schedule. We're shifting to an earlier schedule for the sake of winter mental health and for the animals, as its going to be getting dark by 430pm here very, very soon. 2) Walking every morning We had switched this to offer some alternatives, like walking through the woods here, but in order for this to count moving forward it needs to be a walk where we put the dogs on leashes and go somewhere for the purpose of a walk. If it's a bad health day, it's to the mailbox and back, which is at least at the very edge of the property. 3) Exercise in the gym every day I know, I know you say - every day is a lot. But this means a workout of ANY length, including a 100m row. If its a bad health day, walking to the gym (it's in a detached garage) and doing a stretch or sitting in there for a few minutes is enough. The goal here is to build the habit and get used to being in the gym consistently again. 4) Yoga every night We have the down dog app, so at least a few minutes. We set up a yoga room for this that is to be animal free. I love all the animals but with 4 cats and 2 dogs in the house, any sort of personal space is hard and one of my post lyme things is overstimulation issues, so having a room where we can remove as much stimulation as possible will be great. Plus I'm excited to not go out to my yoga room and find vomit all over my mat 🤮 5) 3-4 servings of veggies and protein each day I lost 17lb last challenge, down to 141 as of this morning, sooooo I'm gonna be tracking to make sure I'm getting enough food. So 3-4 servings of veggies, 3-4 servings of protein Just spezzy goals: 1) Focus on my nutrition certification and get at least 1/4 done (has to be done by end of year) 2) Finish getting my own sites (for farm and for myself) up and running 3) Meditation - working up to doing this at least 3-5 minutes/day 4) phone hygiene - i don't have specific goals but watch myself here 5) Secret side project I can't really talk about here. anyway happy challenge y'alllllllll

Welcome!

Thanks, y'all. The good news I now have referrals/appointments for: neurologist gastroenterologist ENT and getting my bladder/kidneys scanned and then have the correct referrals for my mammogram and gynecologist which was just a hassle because insurance and my records being all over two countries now. So this new doctor's office I just started working with is really working with me to get me everything I need, but its going to be a lot over the next bit! My doc also got me everything I needed to sign up for a research study for chronic lyme at MIT, so I've submitted that and am hoping to be chosen - it wouldn't give me any answers or be a part of my treatment plan, but it would be super interesting and the lack of good science behind some of this stuff has been my main complaint, and this feels like a way to stop complaining and be a part of the solution. Yeah! I'm really, really hoping he can keep his trumpeting down because they can be a really great addition to the flock. We ended up with 7 roosters out of our first batch, and all of them ended up going into the freezer because they were so extremely aggressive and SO LOUD because they were all competing with the crows, even when we had them all separated. With 27 hens to him being the only boy, I'm hoping he won't find the need to be aggressive or make a big commotion, my roosters growing up were nothing like the last batch. We're allowed to have as many as we want here, our town is right to farm, but our chicken coop is also about 75 feet from our only neighbor's bedroom window and with him being our only neighbor, we'd like to be at least a little polite, so as long as he stays about the same volume as the hens laying their eggs, and not at 4am, he can stay. He's got good genetics, too (he's half Maran, which is a super dark egg layer, so his babies will probably lay either dark chocolate brown, green, or dark olive eggs), and I wouldn't hate trying to hatch some eggs in the spring or selling fertilized hatching eggs!

Imma hop in here, my health has been total shit the last few weeks. Rurik has been going to doctor's appointments with me, doing all of our grocery shopping, running all of our errands, cooking all of our food, cleaning all of the animal enclosures, and doing everything for me basically, soooo I've been keeping him a little busy. He's probably gonna be mad at this but I feel like his update is going to be like "I've been a little stressed lately so I missed my workouts" and that is all and that is beyond not realistic about what is actually going on here He's trying really hard. ps hi @Rurik Harrgath i appreciate everything youve been doing for me lets kick tomorrow in the dick

Thanks for checking in Things have actually been really tough - I actually have still been quite sick, have been to the docs a few times (including rurik going with me once), and am going back again today, but am at least getting places and ruling some things out and am planning on getting in a workout today. I HAVE been focusing on movement, so even when I have not been going to the gym I have been using that time to be outside and active. Movement still feels good, but exertion has been hard and lots of dizziness and throwing up, so have just been doing what I can. We got the goats out in their permanent yard which feels so good. We still need to put up the electric fence and do a few finishing touches, so they're sleeping inside the house still, but the fact that they can go out during the day in a fenced in area that I don't feel like I have to supervise them in is huge. and they seem to like it: Except clem. She likes keeping her hooves on the ground: also some chimmies our rooster, who only time will tell if he stays or goes, "Trumpet": Dusty Bottoms (and lucky day in the background!) Socks:

Thanks, y'all! Just wanted to say I'm back at it today. Still not 100%, but the hives are at least less itchy and I have more energy. Went to that concert Friday night and had a great time but definitely took the entire weekend for my head to recover. Proud of myself for being able to handle a loud environment, though. Means gyms might be possible again in the future Anyway. More updates later, but wanted to say I am officially back at this!

hello hello! quick update, i'm here but feeling quite ill so have been taking it easy the last few days. had some meds switched up so figuring that out. anyway, doing my best. will update more later, but am still here, just sleepy.

🐐 = did it ☠️ = didn't do it 🧐 = haven't done yet, but not necessarily due yet- keep on list w2d2 (tuesday) Walking - 🐐🐐 (2/7) Walked to checkpoint 2 Training - 🧐🐐 (1/6) Bench press - 4 sets of 8 at 85lb then: 3 rounds of 80 jumps (I don't have a jump rope) 20 hanging leg tucks 20 pushups 5 pullups Yoga - 🐐 (1/7) I... somehow forgot to do this. It was a tough night last night.

🐐 = did it ☠️ = didn't do it 🧐 = haven't done yet, but not necessarily due yet- keep on list w2d1 (monday) Walking - 🐐 (1/7) Walked to checkpoint 2 Training - 🧐 (0/6) New schedule has heavy deadlifts Sunday and Monday is my off day from training (Monday is my busiest day at work, so why try to force training in when I can just make it my rest day?) So did not do, but planned. Yoga - 🐐 (1/7) I did this but honestly I need to take it a bit more seriously, the last few days have been half assing it at best. Non-training updates: Tried a new pair of gaming headphones for work yesterday that I had gotten for free a few months ago (they were new so I was going to sell them, so didn't even think about using them) and they seem to be working out really well for meetings and music, and the batteries last all day and it's not bluetooth so i'm not getting crazy interference, and that's been a huge level up already. So glad I finally decided to just try them!

You didn't ruck, but you did carry a ton of bundles of shingles up a shaky ladder, which is kind of like rucking only much harder. and painted an entire barn all by yourself. ps clemmy says she baaaaalieves in you

Okay, so I've definitely been slacking on the "adding challenge update to my morning routine", but I have been focusing on my challenge. I have a workflow app on my computer, though, so I'm going to add having it open a tab to this challenge to my workflow so it will happen automatically when I open my computer in the morning Last Week's Review: 🐐 = did it ☠️ = didn't do it Strength - Goal 3x 🐐🐐🐐 Did 2 gym workouts and 1 inversion workout outside with the goats. Kind of a stretch, but I was planning on using it as a warm up for my strength workout and my wrists were too shot after soooooo 😂 Walking - Goal 7x 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 This one is feeling really good all around, we're going farther more often and more automatically again, too. Sunday instead of a walk up the hill I did stomp around the woods, I went around and created a path to get to this amazing area full of grape vines that we can pull out and bring to the goats (the goats love grape vines, but the grape vines are growing all over mountain laurel and yew, which are both poisonous to goats). So that was a good hour of playing in the woods, so I'd say that counts. *Also, just funny side note - I was pulling some branches out, the brush is really thick in there - and I fell over. Huckleberry was kind of far away but as soon as he heard me fall he came FLYING OVER AS FAST AS HE COULD and just kept licking my face, he was so worried. Such a good reaction from a dog that we do want to train to go get help if one of us needs it eventually. Yoga - Goal 7x ☠️☠️🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 Actually not sure how I missed 2 nights this last week, this was feeling really automatic. Anyway, I missed 2 nights. Intervals / Endurance - 1x each, ☠️☠️ So fitness wise, I updated my original post but I'm changing my challenge. Instead of having a certain number of things I do each week, I'm gonna follow along loosely (adjusted to my capabilities and adding a serious deadlift day) with @Knightwatch's gym's programming, and aim to get to his gym 2x a month to lift there (it's just far enough away to make it something that's not realistic all the time). So it'll just be Walking, Yoga, Training. Training will have one day off, so 6 days, the other 2 will stay at 7. Train Huckleberry - ☠️☠️🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 I don't know the best way to measure a lot of this, so I'm going to just give myself a B for this last week. I need to do more focused sessions with him, but I've been including him in things and making sure I'm actively training him when I'm doing them, too - like spending time with him and the goats in the yard and constantly be watching him making sure he's managing his energy around them, or if a chicken gets loose allowing him to corner it and then "hold it there" (stand there and wait for me to pick it up while he watches it and makes sure it doesn't get away. So really a lot of energy management - I can't tell you how difficult it's been to chase something and then not get to "catch it", but he seems to be okay with that now that he's understanding that the game is to herd, not chase and jump on top of. We also do a bit of training on our morning walk each day, and that's been sticking. Also he grew out of his puppy collar, so here is a picture of him in his new big boy collar. Get the goats out of the basement - 🐐 This is not done yet, but we made serious progress: Thursday I helped shingle the roof, and then the rest of the week Rurik has been working on getting the doors and got it mostly painted yesterday. So now we just have to finish up the roof (it needs some finishing pieces still, we need to install the edging on the front for example), the trim, and paint the trim, then get the inside set up. We also bought one type of fencing, decided it was overkill, so returned it and got another type of fencing and we'll start to build the fencing panels for them this week! Spellbooks We're trying some new systems for this that I hope help us keep on the same page and to make these sessions be more productive and take less time, but they're Work Habits Trying a new pair of headphones today I'm hoping I can use for both meetings and music and calls and all of that jazz, and I think I fixed my treadmill (or at least know what's wrong with it if I didn't). And that's it for now! This week feels like it's off to a good start so far, already got in my walk and work is going well so far productive wise, so yayyyyy

The Get up Kids, Starting Line, and New Found Glory! All American Rejects are playing too but I could take them or leave them. So so so so so very excited!

🐐 = did it ☠️ = didn't do it 🧐 = haven't done yet, but not necessarily due yet- keep on list W1D2 - Tuesday review Good day all around - I had a good, productive work day, and had no major issues. Focus was decent. I have a bunch of videos to film for work this week and next week so I trimmed my hair, I can get a real haircut next week but for now this will do! I also found out that some of my favorite bands are playing in boston in a few weeks and was able to get tickets, so super pumped about that!! This is a really big thing for me - not only going out and doing something (my hermit tendencies and not wanting to deal with boston tend to win out on things like this), but also music was my life for a long time, and it's something that I lost the ability to process well with Lyme and the hearing issues that arose there. Now that my brain is coming back, I can actually hear music again, and it's brought so much joy and peace back into my life already, and I haven't been this excited about an event in a long time. It feels like moving forward life wise, with this step, too. So big win. Walking - 🐐 (2/7) Walked to 2nd checkpoint. Huckleberry struggled walking by the guy mowing his lawn on the way up the hill, but barely noticed him on the way down, and when he saw the horses instead of barking at them he recognized they were there, yawned, and looked at me instead. So his training in the morning on these walks is going well! Yoga - 🐐 (2/7) about 15 min before bed. 🧐 = intervals, endurance, strength (2 more)

So glad you're here, and can't wait till we can actually get in a workout together again 😂 (I laugh because how has this not happened yet since I've been back?) Good job on those burpee pull-ups! 62 is no joke!

Sorry that you're dealing with all of this! For food - a few ideas for you! if there are restaurants around you that do catering, that can be a great way to do meal prep where all you have to do is split it into different meals. And you can get meals that are 100% made for you, but I always have found those portions way too small personally. Also its okay to take short cuts wherever you can - rotisserie chickens if you eat chicken, are great and already cooked for you and could be so many meals. Pre-cut veggies, everything. I like precooked chicken sausage because it heats up fast, and hot dogs, too, honestly. You can get some with some decent macros that taste good and are done in a pinch when you're tired.