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Asuka

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Everything posted by Asuka

  1. YES!! Definitely send a picture! I love Pokemon too, but the Pokemon TM tshirts are (for the moment!) too small for me - at least the ones I can find in Asia. But as soon as I fit in one, you better expect me to wear one too! I feel happy in this tshirt! It is currently too big for me (their sizes are wonky - 2XL is too small, 3XL looks like a tent), but the tent-like size is good for dancing because of all the movements we do.
  2. Hi Manarelle! Nice to see you too and amazed by your progression on Thor! I tried to look for female inspiration too, if only because I want to learn to be more feminine after shunning it for most of my life (in reality because I could not find feminine clothes which fit me). I want to find people whose style I find inspiring, yet real and attainable, and cute! "External reminders of why you like yourself" - it took a while for me to get there, but I am there now! Super cute nail polish (I make my nails by myself) are super strong reminders right now. I am building up the courage to find clothes I like to wear, I am proud to wear and which, by extension, will not make me hidden! hahahah Thanks Norgaard! Colors and happy designs make me soooooooooo happy it turns out! At first I was feeling judged when looked at, and now I'm just thinking "They are looking at me because I look awesome!" and it helps propel me forward! This is an example of my favorite t-shirt right now. Can't go to work with it (too bad), but I go to dance class, and I feel BADASS while dancing! It eve helps me push through difficult moments in the dance, so I feel I am dancing better too! #cannothidewillnothide
  3. Update at the end of the first half week! Results are mixed: - I progressed a lot in re-establishing good habits - I also overate again, fueled by negative feelings - I read more about these negative feelings and how to better manage them - I am trying to live with courage rather than in fear - Also, I found an example of inspiration of what I want to look like. But it turns out it's a (very feminine) guy. He does have the body composition I like (also the clothing style) so I might stick with him, since I don't feel yet comfortable with a very feminine look, which is often present in spring / summer for women - I am tracking! I gave up for a couple days while I was overeating, but I am back at it again! - I am using motivational mantras in the morning and at night in order to remind myself of who I want to be (e.g., someone who chooses courage over comfort) and it seems to help Overall, I am celebrating the progress I am making and trying to remind myself to push when I can and to also rest when I need it. Mindset is important, so I am focusing on that and leveraging everything I can find, even the things I used to think (judgmentally, without thinking) that sounded "gimmicky". And I discovered I love wearing bright colors! I was only hiding myself and wearing black in an attempt to hide my extra kilos, but I am trying to wear brighter clothes that make me happy. I think I am trying to please myself rather than all of the other people. only took three decades to learn that lesson!
  4. It's a story as old as time... Respawning! I am starting this challenge a little late, so I will use it to build up good tools and habits, so I can be at 100% for the next challenge! I am really working on myself right now, focusing on building out a better person both at work and in my personal life, and while learning about growth mindset, realized that I had gone into a place where I had neglected my body, and moved back to thinking that "nothing could be changed, I will stay this shape forever, this is my destiny". But how can I hope to change my mental habits and think I cannot change my physical aspect as well? So, I am trying again! I will start slow, build habits, focus on not being miserable, doing thing for ME and having an actually inspirational goal, not something I think I may be able to achieve but not really want. So for this time, I am deeply focusing on myself and thinking about what I REALLY WANT, versus what I hide myself behind. 3 goals for these 2 weeks to prep (goals 1 are for week 3, to be done by May 12th and goals 2 by the end of the challenge!). 1- Get inspired - really think about what I want to look like. The styles I like (not the styles I have to wear because of my body shape), the clothes I always wanted to wear. Also think about makeup, hair and nails, which I can start doing immediately! ---> Goal 1: identify styles I like in magazines - cut out 5-7 pictures ---> Goal 2: find pictures of people I like and want to emulate - cut out and put on the walls 2-3 pictures 2- Establish habits - for nutrition and for moving. I've let my diet go, to the point that my diet is now "whatever I want to eat". Let me tell you, I want to eat chocolate more often than vegetables. So this is where I start watching meal-prep videos and how to swap carbs-heavy meals with healthier (but still happy) alternatives. ---> Goal 1: Re-balance diet: go back to eating from noon (1145) to 10pm, and eat vegetables and/or fruits with every meal ---> Goal 2: start meal prepping again, in order to eat outside less and facilitate goal 1 3- Track things and adjust, in order to stay happy - The best indicator of me actually investing in myself is the time I dedicate to thinking about it and tracking to make sure I actually do the things, but don't get too crazy. And I know that if I start slow and build momentum, I will continue and actually get to a great place. 4 years ago I was eating paleo and mostly carb-free. This seems far away from an all choco diet, but I can slowly go back to it. I KNOW I CAN. ---> Goal 1: track all that I eat and my workouts in a Google spreadsheet (the sheet is built!) ---> Goal 2: Establish goals for eating (using Weight Watchers Points) and for exercising (keeping in mind all of the things that Staci told me AND my preferences) Let's start our journey again - this time I am bringing with me a positive spirit and a desire to celebrate small wins. Let's go!
  5. Unclear as of now. Also unclear what job I will be doing. hahaha. Ahh, choices.
  6. This will be me soon. But for this time, I am in!!
  7. And everything exploded once I was on vacations! But fear not, I will start this new year with renewed energy and drive and building habits one at a time! And I kept going with intermittent fasting and with moving (mostly), so these are already pretty strong! Overall very positive challenge, which helped me back on the path of healthy relationship with me and the world despite challenging times. Happy new years all!
  8. You totally deserve it!!! It looks amazing! Only the worthy can lift it! Felling more like you are in control of your life helps tremendously, even if that means you have to decide to do things or take time to relax. It may feel controlling, but if we have alarm clocks to remind ourselves to wake up, we should have some telling us to relax too. AMAZING on the Multiple Chin-ups! It is really great to see progress, especially unexpected one. Slow and steady... and then BAM multiple chin-ups! You rock!
  9. Thanks! It was a really good week Hi Staci! Welcome along to the Christmas ride! Thanks a lot! I still have some social anxiety, but the good thing is that I am the only one noticing - people believe I am extroverted haha. So at least that is a skill! I will remember not to beat myself up - actually, this is a great point, let me add a bonus meditation section!!!
  10. Week 2 achievements! No surprise, but I went waaaay over the 50 points target - I actually got to 105. This is due to consistent exercise with peaks in activity (dance class, barbell workout routine) and lots of tidying and of self care. I also managed not to turn on the TV 3/7 days! These are all good beginnings to new habits. - Also, I am not tracking sleep, but I know I am sleeping more. On Friday, I was tired and went to bed at 11pm, with absolutely no regrets. I woke up on Saturday happy and refreshed and went on to tidying. A complete 180 versus last weekend, when I would stay up until 1-2 am and then be in bed until noon or WORSE having to setup an alarm over the weekend to wake up. Nutrition still needs to be improved but it is on the right way! 1/ Nutrition The positive / negative points were wonderful. From Monday to Thursday I was perfectly within my points, and experimenting with eating less and less sugary tastes. I even rediscovered strawberries without sugar! (Spoiler: they taste good ). This lasted until Friday when social elements disturbed me and I went back into my head and a bag of ice cream. Sunday was really tough too. I bet if you subtract ice cream, I am way below my points every day. Anyways, the way WW works, you have daily points and then a weekly allowance to enable you to go to dinner with friends, or just live your life. Well, this week, I am below the weekly total, even if I am over the daily points for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. YAY! I know there is a lot to do still, but I am getting better at stopping myself from eating more when I am not hungry and disassociating unhappiness and binge eating. I try to plate as much as possible and be honest. Also overindex on meat and protein versus carbs. This week also marks 3 weeks without bread! (Obviously this will end next week when I am back home to France.) 2/ Workout I got movement in everyday! On Tuesday I did a full body barbell workout and I went to dance class twice. I am getting used to moving again, although softly, because I am still not feeling super well (and holidays depress me), but I got moving. Yesterday I made a pact with myself and took 2 pairs of shoes (1 was a pair of Sketchers), so that I could come back on foot from a wedding I had to attend but did not want to attend. It was a 30min walk which was very welcome on a bleak day! I am calling workout a success for this week, because I managed to overcome lack of motivation. 3/ Tidying up I killed it. I cleaned shelves which had not seen the light of day in years they were so full. I did great Monday night, and then over the weekend I continued. I now need to select from all of my things what I want to keep and decide how I want to organize them while still keeping them available (and not buried like they used to be. But these shelves are super big (maybe 1m deep by 1.5m wide), so I need to think what supports / separators I will need to be able to find anything in there... 4/ Self-care and reading That was very necessary AND remarkably helpful. Self care (small things like putting on cream, taking the time to unwind without stressing out) really helped calming me down at night and recognize that I need to do things for myself. And the book is just great! I have maybe 30 pages left and will finish it tonight - I need to find my next one... A good week, marred by emotional turmoil, but not a complete throwing of the towel in terms of food following said turmoil. I need to weight myself to see if it had any impact on the scale. I know I am close to my heaviest weight ever (eek), but I am still fitting in my pants, which makes me think that I may have some muscles left... #hope
  11. Oh, that's one of the only Disney movies I have not seen yet. I will keep it in mind and download it to watch during one of my flights
  12. This week is successful too, but there have been more "emotional" events, so the pull of junk food has been stronger. I actually caved and ate a piece of chocolate last night. (The positive thing is that I took the time to enjoy it and was able to stop after one piece versus eat the entire bar in one sitting.) I still have this immediate thought "I feel bad, let's eat something", which is sometimes overpowering. Yesterday night after an upsetting event, I went out and bought a bag of shrimp chips and 3 chocolate bars. I ate none, but simply put them away in a cupboard (closed, out of sight, though not our of reach). But I still felt like I needed to buy them. I have several outings planned for this weekend and a bunch of tidying up to do, which should help fill in the days. I'm also in the middle of a (strange but) good book, so I'm somewhat confident that I can survive the weekend. But weekends are usually when I get off the wagon, simply by being too much in my head and embarking on negative self-thoughts. I hope self-care will help reframe some of these too. Two images to finish since I've been stingy on them!!
  13. It is a lot of reframing and pushing back on previously deeply ingrained habits. I will definitely try the shredded coconut! I love all of the old lyrical Disney songs - especially Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. I really like opera and these are reminding me of beautiful arias (and of course Sleeping Beauty's score uses Tchaikovski's music...) Ah Ru! When I think he cannot makes me laugh more... Thanks WhiteGhost for the awesome gif!!!
  14. Something interesting happened this morning: I had an upsetting conversation with my sister last night and again this morning, so on my way to work I was upset, my eyes were tearing up and all I wanted to to throw myself in a cup of English tea latte (which is really full fat hot milk with sugary powder with tea taste). Then I remembered that I don't eat before 11am. At first I dismissed it, calling this morning just an exception, a one-time thing because I was sooooo sad. Then I had a conversation with myself (in my head not out loud, as I was walking through the subway), and realized that food would not help with the feelings, I needed to discuss and address the feelings. And so the urge passed and I just went to work (and ate at 11:43am). Also yesterday I went out and had chamomile tea instead of this English tea latte in the afternoon. This is one of my first "reasonable food switch". (I subbed strawberries and sugar for cookies the other day, but I went heavy on the sugar so it counts less). Also: with all the exercise from yesterday (barbell + commute + dance class) AND the super tidying up session from Monday night, I am already at my target point for the week and we are only Wednesday! I will have to create tiers of rewards... I feel like I am on a much better track - I will re-read Manarelle's article and see the light now .
  15. So I can barely lift my arms anymore (I went to work with my workout hair), but I've done 80% of the barbell workout video I wanted to do this morning. I still have 8min of lunges and shoulder presses to finish (otherwise I would have been super late due to morning video gaming that lasted longer than I thought...). ANYWAYS when I go home tonight if I can do these 8 minutes, I will be at a total of 10 points just for exercising today - YAY!! This video I KNOW I can do, so it is not scary, I just have to de-load and I will 100% make it through. I deloaded for the upper body, but not completely for the lower body, which makes me feel good despite the fact that I am fully expecting DOMS. I like that I was able to do it. Here is to workouts making us feel good!
  16. Pictures from Christmas decorations!
  17. First week is over! And the results are IN! It was better than before, but I still have a long way to go to improve nutrition. 1/ Nutrition I LOGGED 6/7 DAYS within 24 hours and within less than 48h everyday. Even the days when I was in pity party and was drowning my feelings in chocolate and meat and bread and butter. All of this is written down. It's not good or bad, but it's written down. So progress. I made it one day below 40 WW points: when I had dance class and did not eat in the evening after my protein shake. Since I mostly ate the balanced food of the cafeteria and what I had meal prepped, the additional, extra points ALL come from snacking. Ice cream, bread and butter, pancakes, I threw myself a pity party on Friday and Saturday and Sunday and that led to overating. I also blame Netflix. I will try to address that . I was successful in not eating in the mornings. I ate after 11am every morning except Monday when I came to the office extra early. So that was a good win! 2/ Workout I moved every day! But I did not want to move for half of it. I am not back into a place where I am looking forward to my workouts (or the fun of working out, like when I was watching video games videos) yet. This stems from currently a low self-confidence from not exercising much over the past 2 months. I went to dance class last Thursday and did okay, but I FELT just wrong and like I was not supposed to be there. So I might try and kick-start my self-confidence by pushing through a really tough workout that I used to do easily just to prove to myself that I can do that. And if I can do THAT workout, then the smaller workouts I have planned should be easy to do. 3/ Tidying up! This was probably my favorite part of the week. I did not feel like tidying up the first half of the week, so I started moving furniture to make myself WANT to change things and HAVE to tidy up and it worked! I still have lots of things in progress, but they are clearly identified and I can cut them in smaller loads. I also was able to free space in my living room, which means I was able to decorate for Christmas! I put up a Nativity scene and a small Christmas tree and garlands everywhere on the walls. My living room feels so homey and happy right now! I did it super late because I did not want to start, but who cares, it is DONE and I LOVE IT! Overall, I had to decrease additional points because I had to walk for work a bunch this week, and I reached 66 points (target 40), so I will call this week a success . For next week I will try and address some issues (e.g., Max nb of hours on Netflix), so that I can improve on the nutrition side too.
  18. I know - I think I read it on a bad day and just saw the difficult things rather than the easy ones. I definitely agree with your article and I saw it with meal prepping: if I know I have a balanced, already ready meal at home waiting for me, the temptation of going to buy fast food is much lesser. The Difficulty for me will stem from the fact that finding an external motivation (say look good, be healthier, etc.) has been difficult to pinpoint so far. I am still searching for it. But I am making progress Yes! Some days it was because I had no choice (I have to walk to go to work), but 4 days I made myself move, including both Saturday and Sunday (1am on Sunday still counts - I'll get something else in for Monday). Relatively good first week in the exercise department!
  19. So far I am doing okay-ish. Nutrition-wise I made myself log food for 4 days, which is great progress, but I am still overeating (mostly due to snacking). I read Manarelle's article about willpower and started thinking it will always be difficult for me, so I'm trying to find new sources of motivation. I am being somewhat mindful, but not enough to take real action (like at lunch when after eating half of the tiramisu, I was like "I feel perfect now, I could stop eating" and I did not ) But I am eating after 10 or even after 11am every day, so that is strong progress!! On exercise, I managed to get movements in everyday, but on Tuesday it was not "because I want to move" movements, just walking to and from work and then running errands (I don't have a car, so I walk and Seoul is a very walkable city). I still want to want to move more. But some progress. On tidying, I have identified what I have to do and this is sooo much I'm kinda overwhelmed right now. I need a plan to split it into smaller pieces so that I can do them little by little. I may also have to decorate before being done with tidying because it may take longer than I think and push back decorating to next year. Plus having Christmas decorations will make me happier too! Full week update at the end of the week. Total points is 48 because I walk a lot - will adjust it down.
  20. Totally!!!! I got this reference immediately thanks to Glee. And I wholeheartedly second. Sorry to hear that! It looks like your challenge is fun and you've been doing it super well, so a single day should not affect it too much. I was the same yesterday and went home in the afternoon. Everything is stressful right now and although I want to do everything well, I also want to stay alone in my apartment and preferably in my bed and just watch TV while eating candy / shrimp chips. Maybe try working though it by identifying the source? Or cleaning / tidying a small place, which always makes me feel better. *hugs* and hope the feeling passes soon enough.
  21. Sounds awesome and well-thought out! I try to post and to cheer people on, and sometimes it is easier to cheer on someone else first, maybe it could help with coming on the forum? All the best!!
  22. Hi Manarelle! Happy to see that you are as creative as always in your challenges Love everything about Mjolnir and will come and cheer you on!! YAY for your first goal of updating your resume / finding a better job. It is tough but you are right. Rock on!
  23. Week 4 - Goals and achievements!
  24. Week 3 - Goals and achievements! Same points - higher number of points, after a successful week 2! 1- Nutrition - Log food everyday, even the day after or 2 days after, etc. JUST. LOG. FOOD. - 2 points per day logged - Points if I eat after 1130am (and not after 11pm) - 2 points per day - Extra points if I take the time to notice when I am feeling something food related (can be anything) and take action - 1 point per time when I am mindful - Scaling negative points if I exceed 40 WW points per day (-1 points for each additional 5 points), but 2 extra points if I am below 40, and 5 if I am below 30 (WW target is usually 32-39 points for my weight, so I am staying in a healthy range). Target: 7/7 days for each (40 points target) 2- Exercise - Move every day! 2 points for moving at least 10 minutes (e.g., barbell), 15 min of cardio (e.g., biking) or 30min walking (yes commuting counts) - 2 extra points for every additional 10 min worked out / 1 extra point for 10min walked or 1000 steps - 5 extra point for doing a 30-min barbell workout (any workout). Target: 7/7 days (20 points target) 3- Tidying up - 5 point per weekend day when I spend at least 15min tidying up - Additional 2 points per 15min spent during the week tidying up (office included) - Putting Christmas decorations up or making them will also count! Target: 1 weekend 20 min and 1 weekday 15 min (10 points target) 4- Self care and reading - 2 points if I spend at least 15 min per day doing something for self-care or reading (no multitasking, except with reading) - Extra 1 point if I spend more than 30 minutes in self care or reading - Extra 2 points if I don't turn the TV / tablet on (quick 15-20min video is okay) - Extra 2 points if I realize I need emotional support and listen to meditation to calm down Target: 7/7 days (20 points target) Total target for the week: 90 points (45% nutrition, 22% exercise, 11% tidying up, 22% self-care) REWARD: If I reach my goal I will splurge and spend money on the video game I currently play and which is pay-to-win.
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