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LadyGrey

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About LadyGrey

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    Newbie
  • Birthday September 1

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    United States
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    rebel
  1. Hello fellow Havik! I felt the same way about facebook, I wasn't sure if it would help and yes, I also felt it was overwhelming. I also missed the forums. Your goals are good! Don't forget to check in!
  2. Gonna try to make a comeback. :)

  3. I am back and I have to warn you, I am about to whine. Because I have to get this out of my head, get it out to community, and get this in MY PLAIN SITE or else I won't try to get back up. After a year and a half of signing up here at NF, I am now the heaviest I have been in over 6 years Not the heaviest I have ever been ...but I am quickly getting there. I hate physical activity so much lol. And love to eat so I can't find a harmonious balance. Plus I am spending what little free time I have trying to improve my art skills (when I am not being interrupted by puppies, children, and normal daily stupid grown up responsibilities). I can't find any activity I semi like to do, bc my town is sketchy, my responsibilities are filling up all my free time, my mornings are much more hectic no matter how early I wake up, and I have no lunch break. But ya know, typing that out out and getting it out there has helped me see what some of my problems are, so I guess the whining helps. I am in my late 30s and I am beginning to have the "fat old lady" problems: Lack of cartilage in my knees, therefore they hurt if I run or do anything high impact. I will eventually need surgery. That scares the crap outta me. My lower back is always sore because I have crappy core strength (or lack thereof). And I spent a year getting it back into a decent condition after suffering from a herniated disc. I have a desk job, so I never get to move around. And I don't want to. But when I get up to go to the restroom, my hip joints are stiff and sore. I used to walk on my breaks, now it's just a chore to leave my desk. I sit in my butt so much, I have problems with my piriformis muscles and they constantly ache. My mother is now diabetic bc she never controlled her weight. I am following in her footsteps almost exactly. Now she is having so many health problems and, of course, her diabetes is causing it all to be much worse. I feel horrible. Physically horrible. In many ways. All my clothes are now officially too small. I have gone up a t-shirt size and I am having to wear my husband's larger shirts. I am on blood pressure meds because it gets over 160/100. With that laundry list of problems, you would think someone would have good resolve to not slink further down into misery. And There is a solution to all that. It's obvious. Stop whining and get busy moving, or else. But... My attitude towards being healthy is at an all time low. Everyone around me is working towards maintaining a healthier lifestyle, with their fitbits, and their gym time, and their walking buddies, etc. I cringe when i think of all that. Despite some of my friends trying to get me on the bandwagon, I am still in the dumps because I have tried what they are doing. Many times. Now I see it as a waste of time for myself because I've been there before - I've been in those shoes. I've been battling weight my entire life, they only "fat" in their adult years. But none of it helps me. I don't have the discipline because I don't care. And that scares me too... But obviously being scared isn't doing anything for me. I always thought of myself as the type of person that would fix a problem before it gets worse. And I do that. Only with everything else and never myself. I work with a lady is diabetic, and she is very large. Everyday she eats fast food 3for all her meals. Her blood glucose is sky high, and she has no feeling in her toes and feet. I used to think that was crazy for someone to keep living that way. But now, I am turning into her. Not the 3 fast food meals a day, but obviously not being able to care for myself when I need to be. I don't know how I got here mentally. Anyway, that's enough of that. It helped getting it out. Maybe sharing my problems will help me get back to where I need to be.
  4. Been a few weeks and things really got out of whack. But I have been trying to maintain a healthy (or healthy-ish) breakfast. Come to find out that I wasn't fighting bronchitis. I was having an adverse reaction to a new medication I was on. It was pretty much causing me to be in respiratory distress. :S So after that, I decided to just take things very slow. No walking at all. I am pretty much recovered now. Hardly coughing at all. Not having accountability here has caused me to just eat whatever I want. I got very depressed when they took my weight at the doctor's office. I haven't been this heavy since I was pregnant over 10 years ago. :S At least then I had an excuse. So on top of all that was happening, that kicked me completely out of my motivation. This week I am going to try to come back here and work on rebuilding soe habits. Breakfasts have been hard to maintain, so I am going to plan breakfast for this week.
  5. Been off track these past couple of days. Now my kiddo is sick. Gonna try to get back on track as soon as I can. Hopefully I won't put it off for too long. Haven't been tracking and this morning I skipped my walk. When I eat, I have been sitting down and focusing on eating. Not doing anything else to distract me. So far, it's helping.
  6. Yes, I have been fighting bronchitis all month. Had to go back to the Dr last Thursday for stronger meds because I just wasn't getting better. And my body was definitely telling me to SLEEP. It kinda has been a stressful month, so it might be a combination of several things.
  7. Saturday - 2,177 Consumed Sunday - no tracking Been exhausted lately. I'm not one to take naps, but I took 2 this weekend. Long ones! And today I am about to pass out. Got 7.5 hrs sleep last night, plenty the other nights. My husband thinks it's my medications, but not cause drowsiness except for one and I haven't taken it in days. Caffeine levels have been the same for over a week now (2 cups, half decaf). Been a busy week, but no more than usual. Idk what it is but it sucks not having energy. It's so strange, I was bouncy and energetic on Friday. Then towards the evening...BAM, it hit me. Been tired ever since. oh yeah, and I didn't walk yesterday morning. But i did this morning and saw another SHOOTING STAR. They make me smile. Traffic has been very busy in the mornings, so have my neighbors. I wish everyone would stay asleep! lol
  8. Busy morning so far and almost kinda sorta made a mistake....but caught myself and did something I never did before! I stopped to get my kiddo a quick breakfast and ordered something small (so I thought) for myself as well. When I realized how many calories were actually in those fried little potates, I threw half away! I didn't even care that I paid money for them, which is usually my excuse for polishing things off. I feel like they didn't have any power over me /toss
  9. Thursday 2,308 Calories Consumed Had a severely dry throat so I made a home concoction to help. That kinda set my calories way over lol. The bronchitis will not leave my body! Had to visit the Dr again and got stronger meds. Feeling much better now. Today 1,791 Calories Consumed Morning walks have been fun and getting easier and easier doing it first thing in the morning. Never thought I would!And I realized today that I have defeated the vending machine demon. Again. I don't even hear it's once alluring call! I've been reading this book referred to me by a fellow NF friend called Intuitive Eating. It's been very helpful and been practicing a few ideas from it. I realized I was going thru what the author calls a "last supper" binge. I eat every meal like I will never eat again. I panic when I think about getting hungry and worry about having no food around. Especially at work or while I am stuck in some place. Also, if I see food lying around that I haven't eaten in a while, I will eat it like I will never see it ever again! I get panicky when my tummy rumbles when there is still an hour till dinner time. Then I get hangry. And by the time dinner is ready, I have already snacked on random foods and then hoark down my first, second, and sometimes third servings like I have been starving all day. I am not aware of how much I eat and I never recognize when I am full. But since I have started reading the book, I have been more mindful while I eat, pausing midway through to gauge my fullness, and not denying cravings so that I won't binge. It;s kinda of amazing because I feel like my perception of food is changing, and that's a good thing.
  10. Yesterday's Calories 1,567 Consumed Whaaat!? SHUT UP! Haha! Go me! I've noticed that since I switched to eggs in the morning instead of my usual greek yogurt, I am more satiated and haven't had any cravings for unhealthy sausage and biscuits. Also been looking into foods that keep you fuller longer. And (this is something I am proud of too) aside from the pizza at the hockey arena, I haven't stopped for fast food in a long while! Been eating what I have at home. Still no sodas, either! Sticking to the reg/decaf mix in the mornings. I didn't even finish my second cup this morning. Intended on going on a 10 minute walk again this morning but took only 5. I had bronchitis earlier this month and I have yet to fully recover. This morning it felt like my bronchial tubes were clenching so I cut my walk in half. Still did it, just halved it.
  11. I also wanted to share this because, like the shooting star, it made me grin like a fool during my new morning "adventures." Been awhile since I've seen Scorpio (or that is what I was taught to call it growing up). Long time, no see old friend! When my family went camping when I was a kid, my dad would take a flashlight and show me all the constellations he learned as a kid himself. I love the stars and always wanted to discover as many constellations as I could. Sadly, I never went too in depth with it, but I am still fascinated by them. maybe I should start searching for more constellations on my morning walks. I am thinking of starting a Walk to Mordor/Adventure journal. Not sure where yet, but for now my NF gallery will do.
  12. Yesterday's Calories 1,889 Consumed Under 2000 again. Which at this point I believe I will set a limit at 2k per day. I really had to convince myself to not think, "Oh, I'm not over 2000, I can eat more!" And then busted. No, that is going to have to slow down. Water 6 glasses - Haven't been tracking too much because aside from my coffee, water is all I am drinking. I have only had one small had diet/half regular soda since I began tracking my water, which has been a few weeks now. Walk this morning - Doubled it to 10 minutes. With both dogs, which is a challenge in itself, lol. Took me a little bit to get up and get motivated. Totally threw my inspiration out the window because I didn't rest well last night.
  13. Yeah, that is what I am telling myself right now. If there is anything I can allow to slide for the time being is caffeine. I have already started to lessen my heavy cream and work my way to black coffee. That alone can save me 100 cals. You have Taco Tuesdays, too!? We usually do, but sometimes we make them other nights instead. *Then we make Lego Movie references* I love to steam my bell peppers first. Usually in the microwave for a few minutes. If I have time, I will bake them in the oven with cheese for a bit. But yes! VERY thrilled with them!
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