TheAccountant

Big life changes. Job no longer secure long term (point of privilege: I get a VERY long lead time on). Maintaining marketability is number one task. Older people are often harder to hire, especially if they don't appear to be hungry or up to date on latest technology. Luckily, I'm a nerd and technology is my thing. So lunch MACP is off the table, MOVNAT is optional. Still doing Kids MMA and Krav Maga. Researching certification plan, my new hobby will be updating certs. Also, may have to start building up LINKEDIN. I hate doing this because social media is such a treasure trove for cyber shenanigans. MONDAY: Day off, did some natural movement with my elderly mother. 65 years of high heals/tight shoes destroyed her feat to the point she didn't think she could walk without heals. We have gotten to the point that she can walk barefoot for the first time in years. Got her a circular yoga mat and she is doing some sitting/crawling. TUESDAY: Krav Maga, standing choke defense with old fashioned pressure point strikes. The instructor is sort of old school/pre MMA. Not a huge fan of this in practice terms, but it's kind of neat to review some of the older pressure point striking. This is the kind of crap I used to love when I was a kid. The eye poke is new. Most people just teach a multi finger "harassing" eye strike (which works as intended, happens in gloveless sparing all the time) or the old American rough and tumble eye gouge with a thumb (historically worked, but not something you can truly pressure test). This strike actually was index finger with other three fingers bent at the first knuckle. I can't see doing that more than an inch away. Did other old school ear clap/temple strike/spear hand to throat/punch to zyphoid process, etc. Sounds great but requires a lot of accuracy and unlikely stop a committed bad guy. WED: Kids/Family MMA. Reviewed standard collar choke. Adulting: Literal Accounting: Taxes (all five taxpayer ID's..ech). procrastinating Portfolio Diversification/Investment. partial success Organize Files from recent move. procrastinating Property Maintenance Checklist. procrastinating Update Wills/Power's of Attorney. procrastinating Fix extended family Furniture/Car. partial success Oil Change. procrastinating Tracking: Range Weapons: Events 0 Close Weapons: Events 0 Striking: Events MACP/MMA Striking 1, KM 1, Kickboxing rounds 2 Clench Standup: Events KM 2 Clench Takedown: Events 0 Ground Fighting: Events MACP/BJJ 2, Kids MMA 1 --- Sparing Rounds 4 Mobility/Flexibility Events: MACP/BJJ 2, MOVNAT 2, KM 1 Cross-Training/Calisthenics Events: MOVNAT 2, KM 1 Strength/Power: Events 0 Endurance/Long Movement: Events 0

BJJ was where I was hurting myself (no one hurt me) because I was muscling through stuff instead of using technique. So it's not BJJ that's the problem. Also, controlled light contact sparing relatively risk free as well.

After discussion with concerned family members, I will be dropping lunchtime MACP/BJJ/Striking. I promised I would stop full contact at age 50 and so I will keep that promise. This, unfortunately, means very little pressure testing with people my size/strength from this point on. But I had 50 years to get that stuff out of my system. From this point on it's kids MMA and Krav Maga. More focus on MOVNAT fundamentals. Considering taking an over 50 MOVNAT level one event. Friday: MOVNAT fundamentals course Saturday: Blew off all tasks in a childish ball of self pity and whining over loss of full contact sparing, passive aggressive minimal effort to accounting tasks. mostly mindful eating, mild Intemperance. Sunday: blew off all tasks in a childish ball of self pity and whining over loss of full contact sparing, passive aggressive minimal effort to accounting tasks. some mindful eating (nursed a pizza throughout the day), temperance Tracking: Range Weapons: Events 0 Close Weapons: Events 0 Striking: Events MACP/MMA Striking 1, Kickboxing rounds 2 Clench Standup: Events KM 1 Clench Takedown: Events 0 Ground Fighting: Events MACP/BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 4 Mobility/Flexibility Events: MACP/BJJ 2, MOVNAT 2, KM 1 Cross-Training/Calisthenics Events: MOVNAT 2, KM 1 Strength/Power: Events 0 Endurance/Long Movement: Events 0

Because your too awesome for muggles

Before reading this understand I'm quoting from my own experience and my own "diagnosis" on issues that seem familiar in that quote. I am not implying you are indicated for of the adjectives used to describe me in the below. I am an "extremely special" case "all or nothing"... Based on a summarization of real conversations with a Marriage Councilor over multiple sessions: COUNSILOR: "I believe the compensation mechanisms you developed to deal with your ADHD may have given you a narcissistic personality disorder. Or at least some traits. There is no cure for NPD because people with NPD don't WANT to be cured. It's like a one in a million shot that you can save your marriage" ME: "You mean I could be the first Narcissist to ever cure himself? I'm in! How do we start?" COUNSILOR: "Congratulations, most narcissists wont admit they are narcissists". ME: Well of course I don't think I'm a narcissist. Narcissists are arrogant jerks. But then you talked about it being almost impossible cure and... COUNSILOR: Are your saying that you didn't believe you were a narcissist, but you were willing to accept the diagnosis so you could claim to be cured? ME: Wait, what? … sort of. Ok, so yes. But I have low self esteem AND I'm a good person. I hate hurting or manipulating people. COUNSILOR: All narcissists have low self esteem, they just compensate for it. And a lot of people with narcissistic personalities devote their lives to good causes. Everyone should have a "healthy" amount of narcissism. We all want to be desired, admired, and achieve things. People with narcissistic personalities take it to an extreme and it effects their work and relationships. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorders are willing to lie or take it even more extreme measures. You were just now entertaining a negative label you thought was inaccurate just to have a chance to claim a rare achievement. That would be bordering on a disorder. ME: Ok, so if this is true and the real cure is just wanting to recognize it and change, what do I need to do. COUNSILOR: "You have to stop chasing things that are grandiose, you have to do things that are boring or mundane, and you have to be content with mediocracy. You have to be genuinely concerned with other people over a long period of time, regardless of how it reflects on your goals. You can't run away from people when they uncover the parts of you that are bad or mediocre. You can't be "the best or the worst". The cure is comfort with mediocracy and acceptance of criticism without lashing out at yourself or your criticizer. The cure is living with the "mind numbing" thought that you are actually normal, and not extremely good or bad or beautiful or ugly or talented or clumsy or smart or stupid. ME: You do remember the whole ADHD thing, right? It's VERY difficult to be mundane? COUNSILOR: Yes. constantly creating "extreme circumstances" so you can pay attention can lead to you doing this for everything in your life. Even relationships. For a narcissist, realizing that they are normal can lead to depression and self-pity. But not realizing it can lead to addictive behavior, workaholism, taking otherwise healthy hobbies to the extreme, living in fantasy worlds, cheating, divorce, job loss, all kinds of things without ever understanding why. ME: So what your saying is...The only way I can ACTUALLY be special is to not try to be special, AND just "feel my feelings" without drowning my sorrows with a bunch of human trash decisions like blowing my savings on being "cool" or bailing on/ignoring my kids because my "wife doesn't get me"? COUNSILOR: Yes. ME: Challenge Accepted! I will be the most Awesome Family Man ever!...mumbling to myself...got to put family on my achievement list with nerd fitness so I can get family points.... COUNSILOR: Sigh...

Happens to the best of us...But then again, it happens to the worst of us.. well...ok... that's not very encouraging. How about this: Not going through that kind of stuff at some point in your life would make you statistically unusual, or boring, or dead...nope, that's not helping.. Hmm, oh heck. How about this. Knowing other people on this site go through stuff makes ME feel better and a little less unusual. Great!... I made it about me...again.... Ok, so let me try again..___________________________________________________________(please fill in blank with non-toxic but still appropriately cisgender masculine words of support and encouragement)

THUR: Lunch MACP/MMA Striking 1 event, 2 rounds sparing THUR: Evening: both MOVNAT and KM scratched for family events THUR: Night: Reading with kids scratched, Temperance Tracking: Range Weapons: Events 0 Close Weapons: Events 0 Striking: Events MACP/MMA Striking 1, Kickboxing rounds 2 Clench Standup: Events KM 1 Clench Takedown: Events 0 Ground Fighting: Events MACP/BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 4 Mobility/Flexibility Events: MACP/BJJ 2, MOVNAT 1, KM 1 Cross-Training/Calisthenics Events: MOVNAT 1, KM 1 Strength/Power: Events 0 Endurance/Long Movement: Events 0

It used to be super hard to figure out what to do in what order. They finally put it all on one page in order. https://www.movnat.com/beginners-guide-movnat/ The reason I like this program over other cross-training methods is that it's easy to scale and it is more about real world tasks than fitness for fitness sake. Where as cross-fit looks at movement as a method to obtain "fitness", MOVNAT looks at "fitness" as a side product of movement. I am working on the MovNat® Level 1 Fundamentals, it's honestly not worth $400. Don't get me wrong, it's VERY good for people who are "deconditioned" but it's (at most) a $50 value.

Monday Lunch: MACP/BJJ class (No-Gi guard pass), 2 Rounds rolling, mindful eating Monday Evening: MOVNAT (Fundamentals) 1, Son's striking class, mindful eating Monday Night: Reading with Son. Temperance Tuesday Evening: KM (Wrist Breaks), No MOVNAT, support spouse, prep for extended family visit. mindful eating Tuesday Night: Bible Reading with Son. Slight Intemperance. Wed Lunch: MACP/BJJ class (Gi Guard pass), 2 Rounds rolling Wed Evening: No training events, quality time with extended family, quality time with spouse. Less mindful eating. Wed Night: Bible Reading with son, Mild Intemperance. As I write this I am becoming aware that this may be sending an inconsistent message. Tracking: Range Weapons: Events 0 Close Weapons: Events 0 Striking: Events 0 Clench Standup: Events KM 1 Clench Takedown: Events 0 Ground Fighting: Events MACP/BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 4 Mobility/Flexibility Events: MACP/BJJ 2, MOVNAT 1, KM 1 Cross-Training/Calisthenics Events: MOVNAT 1, KM 1 Strength/Power: Events 0 Endurance/Long Movement: Events 0

The great thing about having 13 opportunities a week is that your still doing good if you miss half of them. There is no guilt, there is no failure. There is only opportunity. I don't roll/spar the standard 5 rounds, only two. This drastically reduces the chance of injury. Also, I get tapped (which happens a lot), I will stop and ask the tapped me out how he/she did it. This lets me practice some offense instead of just loosing all the time, as well as improves my defense. The MOVNAT fundamentals training is for people who are SERIOUSLY "DECONDITIONED". It's more rehab/yoga/tai chi feeling than CrossFit. The STRONGMAN training is FIVE MINUTE RESTS BETWEEN SETS, with only THREE REPS, specifically designed to not hypertrophy. Farmer Strong. The RUN ZOMBIE app is just 20 minutes of movement. At the moment speed is not the goal. So it's kind of Walk/Jog. Also, it's a game app, so it makes the movement less boring.

Combative Mixed Movement Range Weapons: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Close Weapons: Training Events KM1 --- Sparing Rounds 1 Striking: Training Events MMA 2, KM3 --- Sparing Rounds 2 Clench Standup: Training Events CJJ 1 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Clench Takedown: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 0 Ground Fighting: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 3 KEY: KM=Crav Maga, BJJ-Brazilian Jujitsu/Judo (Jacket Grappling), MMA=Mixed Martial Arts (Includes No-Gi BJJ/Catch Wrestling/Muay Thai), CJJ=Combat Jujitsu (Standing No-Gi Japanese Jujitsu) Non-Combative Mixed Movement Strenght: Training Events 1 Energy: Training Events 1 Agility: Training Events 0 Mobility: Events 0

Ok, so the switch from the Middle Age Mutant Ninja Panda to The Accountant reflects both actual changes in my life and more personal accountability to family. Adulting: Literal Accounting: Taxes (all five taxpayer ID's..ech) Portfolio Diversification/Investment Organize Files from recent move Property Maintenance Checklist Update Wills/Power's of Attorney Fix extended family Furniture/Car Oil Change Combative Mixed Movement (Opportunities: Lunch MACP (BJJ/Kickboxing) 3 times a week, Evening MMA (BJJ/JJJ/Karate/Kickboxing) 2 times a week, Evening Krav Maga (KM) 2 times a week. Priority is Krav Maga) Range Weapons: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Close Weapons: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Striking: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Clench Standup: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Clench Takedown: Training Events 0 Ground Fighting: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 KEY: KM=Krav Maga, BJJ-Brazilian Jujitsu/Judo (Jacket Grappling), MMA=Mixed Martial Arts (Derived from BJJ/Wrestling/Boxing/Kickboxing/Muay Thai), JJJ=Combat Jujitsu (Standing Locks/Judo) Non-Combative Mixed Movement (Opportunities MOVNAT Fundamentals: 4xWeek, STRONGMAN: 1xWeek, RUNZOMBIE: 1xWeek) Mobility/Flexibility:Training Events 0 Cross-training/Calisthenics:Training Events 0 Strength/Power:Training Events 0 Endurance/Energy:Training Events 0

Last Night: Krav Maga. Working strikes/explosive offense. Starting to get more comfortable with knuckle strikes. Combative Mixed Movement Range Weapons: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Close Weapons: Training Events KM1 --- Sparing Rounds 1 Striking: Training Events MMA 2, KM3 --- Sparing Rounds 2 Clench Standup: Training Events CJJ 1 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Clench Takedown: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 0 Ground Fighting: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 3 KEY: KM=Crav Maga, BJJ-Brazilian Jujitsu/Judo (Jacket Grappling), MMA=Mixed Martial Arts (Includes No-Gi BJJ/Catch Wrestling/Muay Thai), CJJ=Combat Jujitsu (Standing No-Gi Japanese Jujitsu) Non-Combative Mixed Movement Strenght: Training Events 1 Energy: Training Events 1 Agility: Training Events 0 Mobility: Events 0

1. Thank you so much for your comments. 2. After talking to my son some more, his think his perception of "pacifist" is from video game memes, not really a moral philosophy. He was using "passivist" as a joke. (apparently "Darn it, I'm a passivist" is something he finds funny) Even more reason for me to chill the "f" out and stop being a meat-head dad. Also, he really doesn't like hurting anyone or anything (nor do I), and don't want to change that.

Missed my lunch time grappling class, forgot to bring in uniform. Kids McDojo MMA class: Collar Chokes but no adults showed up, so I ended up instructing some kids. So far: Combative Mixed Movement Range Weapons: Training Events 0 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Close Weapons: Training Events KM1 --- Sparing Rounds 1 Striking: Training Events MMA 2, KM2 --- Sparing Rounds 2 Clench Standup: Training Events CJJ 1 --- Sparing Rounds 0 Clench Takedown: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 0 Ground Fighting: Training Events MMA 1, BJJ 2 --- Sparing Rounds 3 KEY: KM=Crav Maga, BJJ-Brazilian Jujitsu/Judo (Jacket Grappling), MMA=Mixed Martial Arts (Includes No-Gi BJJ/Catch Wrestling/Muay Thai), CJJ=Combat Jujitsu (Standing No-Gi Japanese Jujitsu) Non-Combative Mixed Movement Strenght: Training Events 1 Energy: Training Events 1 Agility: Training Events 0 Mobility: Events 0

After discussing this with some of my co-workers, I've come to the conclusion that this was a bad way to handle the situation. When a bunch of Green-Berets, Seals, and Raiders think your pushing your kid to far, perhaps you are. SO I apologized to my son. I am making one grappling and one striking class a week available to him. How much effort he puts into it is on him. Also, Crav Maga last night. My conditioning continues to come back slowly. Completed all condition drill, but not quickly. Knife defense/takeaways. Minor struggling with explosiveness out the gate, major struggling with S.P.E.A.R. outside 90 vs Krav Maga 360.

I remember rolling once at a new dojo and something just wasn't feeling right, I don't know if I was sick or ate too much or too soon, but I just wasn't able to commit to anything and it was frustrating. And a younger dude (20 something) asked if I was ok, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. Like that is not something most dudes would open up with. This was a young guy who won several armature MMA and grappling tournaments, and he genuinely cared about what some old guy was going through emotionally. There ARE meat-heads in MMA, but it feels like they are more rare combat sports then just the average population.

Summary: My 9 year old son told me he want to learn how to fight because he is a passivist and doesn't want to fight. My response: - He is going to spar/roll. He is going to do this in striking, clinch fighting, and ground. He can either put effort into training before he spars/rolls, or he can start sparing before he is in good enough shape to defend himself. But that's going to happen. The real world is scary, and the younger he faces primal dangers and fears, the safer. TL:DNR Evening. McDojo Style MMA: Striking. My kicks and combo's seemed to impress my son, who was like "how do you do that?". My techniques are horrible. I doubt I could commit to a live opponent and maintain balance with anything but a front kick. But a 240 fat guy with mediocre form still hits with some power. Being able to even kick at all after three years off is still kind of nice. Then I look over at my son, and he is just kind of half hearted working on the bag. I told him I would hold off on sparing until he was in good enough shape to defend himself, but if he was unmotivated, I would put him in to sparing anyway. See above. Two classes in one day. My conditioning is slowly coming back. Lunch: No-Gi BJJ: The Good: got two partners in a row that wanted to slow role. The Bad: During train-up I was unable to finish any side control chokes will, they were all head or neck cranks. Not one. These are all theoretically pretty easy chokes, but impossible to train without a partners. The Weird: I keep getting criticized for not getting heavy. I'm still around 240lbs, though much more bodyfat than three years ago. Everyone keeps talking about how much lighter I am and how I seem to have lost weight and I haven't lost fat I have lost muscle. And I'm getting too old to safely lift heavy. Ego...

On outside block vs cover block (because knives)… here is an interesting article on multiple strategies for the most common type of knife attack (lead arm posted trail arm "sewing machine"...conclusion, there is pretty much no high percentage defense. https://www.urbanfitandfearless.com/2013/12/knife-defence-techniques.html

I think with anything: it's how you practice. You really learn through high pressure resisting opponents. Instructors provide the atmosphere for training, your training partners the ones who actually teach you (myelinization/muscle memory/mushin no shin). An imperfect move that works on multiple resisting opponents is better than a perfect move that doesn't.

So this week was a lot of work stuff and a conference. I let the disruption from the conference also disrupt my training. Some minor adulting too trivial to list. Just wasn't feeling Saturday. This week no excuses.

It is hard coming back. It's a wake up to how much I lost. The challenge is the same as last time.. Not getting hurt and putting away the ego.

I think this comes from FMA...

Agreed

Once a week strength training. Leaning Ring muscle up progressions (can't even do a single pullup any more...3 years off is a killer) Low Weight Clean and Jerk/Front Squat/Goblet Squat Progressions Leaning Ring Row progressions Complex Pushups Overhead Tricep Extension/Back Squat Step Up/Curls Farmer Cary/Suitcase Carey on balance beam Zombie Run Beginner level 1: SO...tried to run for 20 minutes, only made it 10. 3 years off is a killer. Got a couple items for the game, but did not complete starting level. Adulting: Replaced Entire Tank Hardware in my master bath toilet Took Daughter to Trampoline Park Took son to Bounce House, chased him around for about an hour Installed new gun safe. Watched movie with son Fixed Moms Garbage Disposal Found Moms Wallet Fixed Moms Fridge (again). Gave her a class on how to not pull the freezer off the rails. Grief Counseling/Hugs for mom. Aging is frustrating. Mostly gave her back her own advice since she was a certified counselor. We all need that sometimes. Cleaned out dryer vents. Started reading other monks threads