BeamofTheTurtle

I'm here I've been lazy about updating my thread, but I'm still keeping on keeping on 3 months in, and still kicking!

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill You're going. It might be tough, it might not be fun all the time, but you're going. KEEP GOING. Obstacles:

You's one BAMF. Spiked collar, and all, my lovey.

One: I'm mad you put a spider gif in your thread, and then let me read it- without any forewarning whatsoever. /me shudders Two: You rocked that challenge. Every night going to bed when you're supposed to, that's adulting so hard I can't even talk to you right now. Three: 3-zero-five. I'm so impressed I had to pick my jaw up off the floor just to be able to write this post. That's you, Tiger, before the challenge... And that's you now. You've officially levelled up, homeslice! Congratulations on earning those stripes (and scars , and tetnus shots).

So, bad news first: I hurt my back. Again. Yesterday while squatting, I lost concentration during one of my reps, due to a really shitty day overall- and I knew it then- I'd fucked up. I was fine, walked it off, stretched a tiny bit- and figured I could go on. I did, and it was magnificent. But, goodness- I'm paying for it this morning. I don't know if maybe I slept on it wrong, good possibility because I didn't sleep very well, or if I really did mess it up with that squat. Anyway, my lower back is screaming at me, and bending over is out of the question. I'm in denial, a tiny bit, and am trying to tell myself maybe I just worked those muscles out. Maybe during my kickass deadlift?! Other news: I've decided to switch my gym days to 6 days a week. 3 days cardio intensive, 3 days lift. BEST news: 275lbs on my Deadlift. I think that's it though. My absolute max without a belt. So, I'll be looking into one of those shortly. Diet: I've slipped a few times, but I'm focused again. Water: Still good. Mental/emotional: Ha. I'm barely hanging on. Until next time.

You're such an inspiration. 3-0-8 laps? No wonder your shoulders were yelling at you! <3

Hulk smash, huh? <3 275x5 Squat, boss. 30x30 Boxjumps, boss. 320 Deadlift?! Mega boss. Numbers impress Hulk. Hulk do happy dance.

^ YOU. I'm glad you've been able to push yourself, even with the elbow hurting. 5lbs away from your squat goal is another workout or two away from that goal being decimated. I'm proud of you, tiger. Also.

Drunken Walrus? I'm going to be completely honest and tell you I really want to see that, now You know I adore you, right? You keep me positive, and it means the world to me <3 (Also, Psych Happy Dance Gif totally trumps a silly butterfly gif) Thank you so much, Erosan I hope your challenge is coming along swimmingly!

So last night, Zumba. I won't be doing it again any time soon. It's not that it was hard, it's just that it was not good for my self-esteem. Over the last couple of months, I have been doing really good about pushing out of my head when I start getting on myself (it helps that I've been seeing steady results), but last night, watching myself flail about in a room of mirrors- while my social anxiety kicked into overdrive, was not helpful. I spent most of the night, afterward, hating on myself. Specifically, my hips and the fact that after weeks of hard work, they're still not a size 2. However, this morning, I woke up with new resolve. I cannot fit into a size 2, but I also cannot fit into the pants I started off with, either. Did I look like an idiot, and not a very skinny one, in Zumba class last night? You bet your happy ass I did- but I tried it. I lasted the entire class, without giving up. And, while I was there, I remember thinking how stupid I looked with my sweats falling down. Why I couldn't realize how awesome that was last night, I don't know- but it is. Sweats that were once tight, are no longer able to stay up on hips that last night made me cry. These hips that bore a beautiful child, that help me deadlift 270lbs, that allow me to take for granted that I can walk/run/move. They are not perfect, but they don't need to be to be enough. I didn't get here overnight. It took a few years of poor choices and medical issues. It will not be overnight that I go back either. I can press on my stomach and feel hard muscle there. I have thighs that even sitting down cross legged on the couch feel SOLID. My collar bone is starting to show again. I am making progress. It's as if I'm working from the inside out- slowly developing the body I want, under the body I have, so I can one day just shed it and spread my wings. I am a butterfly, living as a catapillar. This moment in my life is the chrysalis. I can either give up and cry because my hips aren't perfect- living forever as a catapillar; or, I can push on, and wake up one day with wings the color of rainbows. I choose to be the butterfly.

/me blushes. Love your face, too

Yesterday's TRX class (with HIIT) went so well. I was even able to work past the DOMS in my stomach from Monday (5lbs extra on that cable machine was apparently the ticket). The hour flew by, and I walked out of the class drenched and sore. I woke up this morning feeling great, with no pain- so my recovery time has been pretty consistant at less than a day (minus the cable chops). Tonight, my friend wanted to go to the gym (she's not on a consistent schedule like I am)- so we're trying a Zumba class since I'm not risking lifting tonight. I love to dance, but I'm not used to taking direction while I do it- so we'll see how it goes I'm updating, because I just realized the date. Today is January 22, 2015. That means I have been smoke-free for 100 days. One-Hundred. I like that number. I like higher numbers, too- but 100 is an excellent place to start.

I'm going to need to start setting a reminder to update this. I want to be able to come back a year from now and see where I was. My workout Monday went great. I've actually started wearing a sweatshirt at the gym because I wasn't sweating during my workout; this concerned me, as I wasn't sure if my heart rate was staying elevated. I can say with confidence that Monday this was not an issue. I was soaked. And, it was glorious. I actually am becoming someone who enjoys walking out of the gym looking a mess. Also, I hit my 6th month goal for Deadlift. Monday of this week, I deadlifted 270lbs a single time. I was so proud of myself, I damn near cried in the gym. I was also able to do 2x5 195 in squats. The very last rep, I didn't think my body was listening to me anymore, and I thought I was going to drop the weight- but I somehow pushed and stood straight.I took off 10 lbs, and finished the other three sets with no problems. I failed my last rep on the bench, doing 5x5 of 100, but, I'm still excited that I did 24 without failure, because I've been stuck at 95 for what seems like forever now. I've also increased my ab workout from 25 to 30lbs, and am still feeling it two days later. Barbell curls- 50, Overheads-50, Tricep pulls-30, Pullups BW+35, Leg Presses 205. Tonight is TRX, and I'm excited. I think I love the gym more than I love video games, and that's saying something. Water: psh. Duh. Diet: I'm still on pointe, but I've stopped tracking my calories. So I need to get back on that. <3 Until next time.....

That number just keeps jumping up and up! ENGLISH CHANNEL, HERE YOU COME! Crash, I'm a little jealous of your awesome use of gifs.