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our.lady.of.ashes

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    1048
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About our.lady.of.ashes

  • Rank
    Champion
  • Birthday 07/12/1982

Character Details

  • Location
    Savannah
  • Class
    adventurer
  1. Yesterday, I also managed to do the warm up for P90X+'s full body workout. Today so far, 10 incline push ups and a 2 mile walk. Feeling a little bit like I can make a habit of this.
  2. Guys, it's so nice to see you're still around too. Now to get back on the wagon...might need to hitch the horses to it first...or maybe just make sure it has wheels......Lots of things which need doing to get this up and going again. On the plus side, I have walked 2 miles already today and done 10 incline push ups. I think I'm off to a decent start.
  3. I fell off the wagon for a few years. I'm not sure if I should reboot this thread or not, but at the moment I'm going to at least post that I haven't died.
  4. When I fell off the wagon, I fell off the wagon. Now I'm back at square one, in worse shape than when I started, but you know what? That's okay. When you join you join for life. I'm going to get myself back into the Academy. I'm going to get myself back to taking care of my diet because that's 80% of the battle and I'm going to get off my butt and do the things that need to be done. Thanks for the support.
  5. His initial response was "Why?" because he doesn't understand depression. Once I convinced him it wasn't his fault however he just wanted to know how he could make it better. He's checking in on my mental status every day and spending time with me when I'm not exhausted. He also brought me flowers. They are very pretty.
  6. Thanks guys. I've basically decided that until things get better, I'm just going to take a break from expectations. If I can get out of bed every day and get the important stuff (going to work) done, then that's good enough. I'll eat whatever my body says we're eating for the day, sleep when I feel like it, and try to fit in walking around when I can. My therapist, who I saw yesterday, says to try positive affirmations to help get my brain into a more positive (he doesn't say happy) mindset. One of the affirmations is "I am a hero". I haven't figured out hero of what yet, but that'
  7. This is one of the few places where I can be utterly realistic without someone saying that I shouldn't feel the way I do. Today is DAY FIVE of my current major depressive episode. I get up and go to work. I make appointments with other people. Other than that I sleep. If it requires me to do it just because it is for me, it simply isn't happening, I don't have the energy. So far, everyone that I have told that I'm having a hard time has asked WHY? Honestly, I don't know. I'm hurting. Isn't that enough? Do you need to know why I'm hurting so you can try to explain it away as if that will make i
  8. So four days turned into a two week vacation in which I ate like an asshole and didn't work out. They took the scale away at the gym, so I can't tell you how much damage I did. However, today I officially got back on the wagon with my first serious workout in like two weeks. I say serious because I broke a sweat and actually think I might have worked something. Here's to getting it together. Thanks for the encouragement and the gif is hilarious, Shello. Other things I've already done today, I sent a letter to my NerdFitness pen pal, sent the contract to my new editor who is going
  9. So I fell off the wagon again, but this time it was because I spent four days out of town. Up until then, I was tracking my food and keeping up with my workouts. I missed one workout and should have missed a second, but I made it up the next day. I've stalled out at 30lbs because I'm afraid to go up again, but I know I can't improve if I don't go up. Just gonna have to bite the bullet and do the thing. Tomorrow is a dance lesson day followed by a mentor meeting with my Sunday school teacher. So I don't know if I'm going to get a chance to do a workout tomorrow, though I'm hopeful.
  10. Posted new progress pics in the gallery. They aren't very good and I don't see any changes, but they're there.
  11. I skipped a gym day on Wednesday (I almost called it a gym date, which might be why I consider it so egregious.) However, I spent some time outside enjoying the warm weather and trying to get my head around all the stuff that's going on as far as my health, my work, and my wedding. Made a few lists. Delegated a few things. Decided on a few others. Basically got it mostly under control and mapped out the number of conversations I needed to have with various others in order to be successful. Friday I went to the gym and couldn't lift the 30lbs. I felt so weak and ineffectual, but I
  12. I've been away from here for a few days, but I have been logging my meals on MFP, so I have some record. My weight is fluctuating wildly and I can't seem to get it together. My eating is out of a whack. I haven't really been getting breakfast, which is still less than 500 calories. Doing better about vegetables with dinner though, so there is some light. I know I'm not going to be perfect, but I have to keep trying otherwise what's the point? As they say, you only fail when you give up. Otherwise, you simply haven't yet succeeded. Backed down my weights today because I didn't feel
  13. Today's total calories: 1705 Breakfast: 2 eggs, peach Lunch: N/A Dinner: 4 slices of pizza, garlic knot (Pizza Hut), Venti coffee (Starbucks) Seriously not my best day food wise. However, I did get more than 1500 calories. Now to see if I can hit that number eating good things and not junk. Tomorrow is a gym day. Yeah, looking forward to getting better at lifting 30lbs.
  14. Went back to monitoring on MyFitnessPal which is the only tracking app I have any familiarity with. It went pretty well. I can see that I'm likely to undereat if I'm not careful. Breakfast: 2 eggs, peach Lunch: Double smoked bacon sandwich, 2 coffees (Starbucks) Dinner: Greuben, roasted vegetables. Total Calories: 1525 I've had two liters of water. If I can get a third in before bedtime, I'll have gotten that goal for today. First time this week. I've got to make a more concentrated effort to get that done. Right now I'm having a chai tea and trying to fi
  15. So I've been lifting or using machines for over a month. I'm getting stronger incrementally, but my weight/waist haven't made any move at all. I weighed in at the gym this morning at 168lbs, which was kind of disheartening. I want my weight to go down, not up. Plus I can't seem to see any improvement in the consistency of my belly. This is not good news. However, I've also realized that my eating is not really fueling any long term gains. I'm not paying a super lot of attention to what I eat, which may be the root of the problem. I'm keeping a food log, but just looking back at it, I am still
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