EVEArgent

Why thanks, I've been having some preeeeee-challenge successes. I've also found that apparently, I'm super passionate about fixing the amazingly corrupt american political system, which I'll probably include in productive activity. 😌

Hullo. I am back from the hole I crawled into a year or three ago.

WHATs Up Summary post I guess?

Week 5 Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Goal 1 Goal 2 Goal 3 Goal 4 Goal 5 APR 26- MAY 2 ✔️ - Fully Complete Whole Goal w/Max time ➖ - Complete Goal with Minimum Time ❌ - Did not complete goal

Week 4 Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Goal 1 Goal 2 Goal 3 Goal 4 Goal 5 APR 19 - APR 25 ✔️ - Fully Complete Whole Goal w/Max time ➖ - Complete Goal with Minimum Time ❌ - Did not complete goal

Week 3 Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Goal 1 Goal 2 Goal 3 Goal 4 Goal 5 APR 12 - APR 18 ✔️ - Fully Complete Whole Goal w/Max time ➖ - Complete Goal with Minimum Time ❌ - Did not complete goal

Week 2 Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Goal 1 Goal 2 Goal 3 Goal 4 Goal 5 APR 5 - APR 11 ✔️ - Fully Complete Whole Goal w/Max time ➖ - Complete Goal with Minimum Time ❌ - Did not complete goal

Week 1 Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Goal 1 ✔️ Goal 2 ✔️ Goal 3 Goal 4 Goal 5 ✔️ MAR 29 - APR 4 ✔️ - Fully Complete Whole Goal w/Max time ➖ - Complete Goal with Minimum Time ❌ - Did not complete goal

Hey NF, Been a While. Life hasn't given me a lot of time for me recently, and I've lost track of things that I love and want. Through all that, this forum has never left my bookmark bar even though it left my life for a while. It's time to set new goals, focus on me and get back on the horse. No one likes a long backstory and everyone loves gifs and for some reason, Quarantine got me all Cinderella. Goal 1 - Sleep Between 8-10 hours a day (CON +2 & STA+1) I have a depression and oversleep a lot and now, without a job and everything being locked down. The urge to sleep will be even higher. So this is a high value Item for me and will allow me to get more stuff done! Also I just wanna do this anyway. The hard part will be that my partner and I have VERY different sleep schedule preferences. So Now I'm accidentally nocturnal because we've not been apart for almost two weeks. 😑 Goal 2 - Clean and/or Declutter Between 30min and 1 hour per day (WIS+3) I am a gross adult and my place is gross and I don't want to live like this anymore. Its hard enough having all the hair of 4 cats without having every f'ing surface covered in junk too. Terrible horrible proof/before pictures I hope in spoiler Goal 3 - Do my Physical therapy exercises for my wrist tendon tear 2-3x per day (its like 10 minutes longish each time) (DEX +3) Or how can I hope to hold a tray, I guess. I can kind of hold 8lbs for a second or two. Its been a rough year and a half since that injury. Goal 4 - TRANSFORM! Work on Self in one of 3 ways, or any combination of these, for 3 hours per day (Up to 3 pts) #1 - Exercise - I am chunky now. In the next five weeks I would like to exercise for at least 3 hours a week, not including wrist therapy or cleaning time. Gonna be mostly bodyweight because no gyms. Actually start to ease back in to activity & not overwhelm the body and give up like usual. (STR +1) #2 - Learn a useful skill/read a book/ meditate/self improvement in some way... That is to say, not just vege-out for a time, do something productive. Nothing specific at this time, just anything. (WIS +1) #3 - Apply to jobs, i am out of work, i don't seeee this changing for a while because, you know, the plague. (INT +1) Goal 5 - Talk to at least 1 person a day during lockdown on the phone! (CHA + 3) Stave off that depression and keep people in my lifeeeeee. Might also help me with my phone anxiety, who knows. Least amount of time dedicated to goals per day 13.3, most 16. Gives me 10.7 - 8 hours a day to fuck around and do whatever/cook/bathe/ eat/ games... yay Lockdown! I am using a Habit tracking app on my phone to track these goals. I want to check in On the forum at least every Friday to update. I can't do every day it takes up too many spoons and I burn out. Cheers. AT STAKE (STR +1) - (DEX +3) - (STA +1) - (CON +2) - (INT +1) - (WIS+4) - (CHA +3)

Hey. I have been gone. Things have happened. I no longer feel... connected. I don't know where to start. Every time I challenge myself I never finish, and every time I don't make enough of a challenge, it feels pointless. So I keep falling off the wagon of trying to get my shit together. I know some things for sure need work. I need to stop sleeping so much. I need to get up in the morning, even when I don't have work. I need a routine. Days I work I'm up at 6:30, Days I don't work I can sleep until 5pm if I try really little. I tried to stop sleeping past 11, it was not a huge success. I have an alarm set to 10, I often ignore it. For a while I had a smart lightbulb that turned on in the morning, It seemed to help, but then it seemed to break. So... 1. Get up, Make Bed, Feed Cats, Dress, Food/Coffee/Pills, Brush teeth. ( 2/160) (1 point per thing past get up, -1 point for every snooze past 2 snooze, no negatives, just to 0 ) Sure. This is going to be my routine goal. Every Day. Alarm on Work days at 6:15am - Alarm on on work days at 9:30am - No More than 2 snooze. Snooze goal alone seems hard enough....Fine 2. Eat more fruits or veggies. (2) (+1 point/fruit serving, no limits) I'm hoping by adding fruit I'll eat less crappy food. The ole' swapperoo. Blood testing says my cholesterol is high.. So. Motivation. 3. Go to all my pole/aerials classes. (0/130) (10 points/class) I pay for them. Stop being lazy and go buttface. 4. Finish my grad school applications (Pass/Fail) I don't really know how to points this. Just do or do not. Well, its a start. Bonus Goal??? Something about... Saving up for a pole probably...

Having a particularly difficult time today. Finding it nearly impossible to find the will to ever get out of bed again. I may have to check into a hopsital before the end of the weekend if things don't drastically improve.

5am check-in Having a night. Started getting very, very depressed. Tried to help the guy I'm sort of seeing with his depression, along the way he told me I'm just making it worse. I'm frustrated. With him, with my inability to help him, the situation, everything is frustrating. Depression set in around midnight, when he "went to sleep." I started watching TV, dwelling on things. Thinking. My therapist says its called Rumination. Thinking about everything. My choices over the last year that led me to this place, this time. I'm.. trying to figure out how to make new friends so I can stop missing the old ones. I'm trying to help this guy stay alive, but struggling myself. It makes me miss the stability I had before I uprooted everything by breaking up with my ex, moving states, isolating myself, quitting social media. I recognize that missing my friends is, at least, in part, my fault as well. I could have reached out to them, but I believed I deserved an apology for the insult, but I guess they thought I wasn't worth it, and that made me feel, neither were they. Anyway, the point of this check in wasn't to complain, it was to discuss my coping mechanisms. 2b) asking for help, 2c) outlet for depression, 3a)something I enjoy I enjoy puzzles. I picked up a 1500 piece puzzle that he gave me for Christmas tonight. I have been working on it for about 4 hours. Gave me time to sort out my thoughts without wallowing too much. I did text a few people for help, one replied, but quickly started to fall asleep. We might meet up tomorrow after work if I can stomach going to work. Wednesdays are particularly hard. I won't get into it. I've come to the conclusion anyway, that his happiness and well being are not my job. I should not try to help, but only to listen. Outcomes are not my fault or responsibility. If he is not happy, I should try not to let it affect me. My therapist says I am too empathetic. I agree. I feel kind of badly for needing to distance myself, but Its for me and I'm important too. I also bought a journal for 4c) It looks beautiful, I hope it is as pretty as it appears. I scheduled an appointment with a primary care physician. Hopefully she works out. I hate doctor shopping.

Hey Little Turtle, Thanks for reaching out. I'm excited to be hanging out with the druids. Heck knows I need some stability right about now. The OA was just sooo... spot on in so many ways for what I needed in my life right now not to forget just good storytelling. Hey Raptron! I'm glad you found me over here. =3 I was just gonna go poke around the Assassin forum to see who's around. Challenge Prologue - Day -5 1b) Save Money Budget wise I'm starting behind. I took my cats to the vet for dental cleaning, and although it wasn't as bad as it could have been, it still hurt. I may have to edit this goal, where Instead of putting money into savings, its just sticking to my budget every month, zeroing out. Adding money would be a bonus,.. 1c) Chores I also am catching up on my cleaning today best I can so I'm not starting behind. I finally put together the Hallway shelf in the closet I meant to put together when I moved in here three months ago. Got some extra stuff out of my own closet which had been bothering me. 3b ) Try to make my inner self-image match my outer image I tried to put on make up today and it went ok... until I tried to put on eye liner. I might just forgo that for a while and focus on the other parts. I used lip liner for the first time today and I liked the results, but I also need to learn how to shape my lips in a way that's flattering. Came out with a big fat bottom lip and no top lip to speak of. I have pictures............ but I'm not sure I want to share them the eye liner is soooooooo bad. It looks like i was punched in the face. Needless to say, I removed it promptly. 5a) Find a practice I enjoy and will do. I started researching Tai Chi yesterday. I.... have doubts that I will be able to get over myself enough to practice it. But from what I can tell, if I do give it a try... I'll try either Chen or Wu styles, I think. They seem the most interesting to me. Hmm... Maybe this is what I mean by Try something new every week... But then again, that could also be a new hobby or something. Like ... painting ... I dont know. It could also be an outlet for depression. It's likely that 2c) Find an outlet for depression 3a) Try at least one new thing a week 4a) Indulge in at least one hobby a day /or/ spend time with people I care about 5a) Find a practice I enjoy and will do. will be extremely closely related if not counted as one thing on many days. It seems like there is a lot on my list, but a lot of it is... intertwined so doesn't feel overwhelming in particular.

2016 is over, and a lot has happened in my life. I have been away from NF for a while now, and I've never posted in the Druid forum before, so I don't think anyone here will know me. Anyway, Over the last year: I started working at a job I thought would be my dream job and ended up pretty terrible. I broke off a 6 year relationship with the guy I thought I wanted to marry because the only feeling I felt with him was resentment. All of of my friends have vanished from my life without a word. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive and Panic Disorders. I lost 20lbs from straight up just not eating or caring for myself. I've cried myself to sleep more often this last year than the entire rest of my life. Everything recently is unfamiliar territory. I am, more or less, alone. Without my friends or my ex, I ... barely know who I am. What do I like to do? What do I want to do? Everything is sort of scary and painful, especially the new things. 1) Gain Independence a) Find a New job Yes, I see the irony in this goal. But for focus, it's mainly about no longer relying on my parents, or my roommate to support myself. I want to live on my own by the end of the year. This goal is going to be about looking for a new job, something I will enjoy and I can pay my own way with. Job seeking is currently... hard. I have no idea what I am looking for and, again, everything new is scary and everything old is tainted with pain. b ) Save money Additionally, I've been pretty bad about my budget. I had one made, but I very rarely follow it, especially with the holidays just past, but I will work toward bringing it back under control. The real goal here will be to transfer $50 into savings every pay period, which means I have to be able to pay all my bills and have $50 left over. A near impossible task at the moment with my job. That's why these go hand in hand. c) Chores Keep up with my chores. I have an app that keeps track. Any day with overdue tasks is a no points day. 2) Endure the Hard Times a) Ask my therapist about anti-depressants I've ... been .. struggling. I meant to ask last week, but I chickened out at the last minute. I'm always happy to see her, so it's weird to be like, oh yeah also anti-depressants because I am actually doing terribly when I am on my own. I see her every other week, so I'll only get two chances to do this during the challenge. It'll be a pass fail kind of goal. b ) Reach out for help when feeling down Lately I've just been struggling through depressive episodes on my own. This is most true when they happen in the very early morning hours, say.. 3 or 4 am. I feel like I'm already worthless, why should I bother waking up the three people who still think I am worth talking to for this? But I know, they really do care about me, and if they are awake they will gladly help me through. After friend fallout occurred... and they are still left...they mean a lot to me and I think I am nervous about losing them for being annoying about depression. c) Find an outlet for depression This is really important to me. Finding something to do while I am depressed that isn't crying, staring at myself in a mirror and thinking about how much I hate myself, googling how to check myself into a mental hospital and ... well.. basically writing a suicide note. Ah. I've just gotta find something else to do to occupy my head. The hardest part, I know, is going to be actually doing the thing. Its one thing to say, when I feel depressed I will go for a walk, its another thing entirely to force myself to actually do it. Its hard enough to stand. 3) Be More Myself a) Try at least one new thing a week I'm not sure what I mean by this yet.... What qualifies as a new thing.. I'll work on it, but it feels important right now. b ) Try to make my inner self-image match my outer image I kind of want to learn to do my make up. I never learned. So for this goal, I will try to do one make up thing every other day. In the future, I would like to do a closet purge again. I would also like to get that lip piercing I want and the tattoos, but money goals come first. 4) Seek Happiness a) Indulge in at least one hobby a day /or/ spend time with people I care about This feels vital to me. It can be something as simple as playing a video game, or reading a book or comic, or Roleplay, or cooking, but it has to be an activity. Watching TV alone doesn't count. b ) Be mindful of the time I feel happy Just a goal, not really measurable, something to think about. When I'm happy, to take deep breath and let myself just be happy... no strings. Enjoy happiness, and realize that even though things are hard, there are good times. c) Write in a journal every day Nothing long, no novels, just how the day felt. Good? Depressing? Surprising? Short, no more than one page. 5) Move a) Find a practice I enjoy and will do. I quit my gym for money reasons, see goal 1, and I need something I can do at home that won't stress me out or hurt me. Previously Ive done yoga, but i cant seem to stick with it or I am just doing it for the skill of movement. I would love to dance, or something.. I dont know, maybe a martial art, maybe yoga, tai chi, something, maybe just go for a walk. Its related to finding myself goal, but i feel it deserves its own space.

I held a handstand for 3 seconds twice today during workout. I was pretty happy, wanted to share.