Jett

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About Jett

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    Antagonist
  • Birthday 06/06/1990

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    Los Angeles

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    adventurer

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  1. Jett

    Jett's Same Old Routine

    I'm tryiiiiing... I've "shifted" about 2 hours out of phase. So I'm getting to sleep around 1am, and waking up around 9am. Which means I have no time for morning activities and I'm getting to work late. Which means staying late, which means getting home kind late and rushing around trying to get things done, perpetuating the cycle... I'm hoping to reset during the weekend, and trying to get things back where they should be starting next week. I'm also having trouble meeting my hydration goals. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time just drinking water. It's not even that much water!
  2. Jett

    Tobbe becomes a Recovery Warrior

    Oops, I thought I was subscribed to this thread, but apparently not. Just got caught up. Seems like you have been making some good steps forward with this class! I think this might be a good approach! If you think about it, the ED exists in part as a way to deal with something else, right? Like, a sense of control over your own body weight, to help with a lack of control in some other part of life, or something along those lines. It's grown into its own beast now, but whatever underlying thing that pushed you in that direction in the first place might still be there. If you're feeling happy and safe in the rest of your life, the things that the ED can do to influence you should decrease. I especially liked the goal you wrote about how spending more time with the boys would give you less time to focus on the ED related thoughts. Yes! Hopefully you and your sons can find something to do together that you all fully enjoy, and that time will become special and also a distraction from other things.
  3. Oof, that sounds like some really tough/tiring activities. Still sounds super fun, though!
  4. Oh, okay, I was thinking a bit older, up to about 6 years. Interesting that we lose whatever that instinct is so young. This is definitely a challenge. It means you'll never have a trigger-food free environment. It seems like the real problem with this is that you feel like you "have to" have some of the jam/cookies/bread if they're around? I don't mean to be insensitive (I realize this is a loaded question) - but why not just leave the baked goods for the rest of your family until you truly desire some? Or is the problem that you constantly desire them?
  5. Hmm. Is that true? I've seen some really fat/unhealthy kids. Don't know if they got that way because their parents only offered them poor choices, or the parents just let them eat whatever they wanted and they always went for what was tasty but not necessarily healthy. If kids are such good intuitive eaters, why is it a struggle to get them to eat vegetables?
  6. Jett

    Jett's Same Old Routine

    My normal fix would be to skip both breakfast and exercise... which I did end up doing on Friday. (Kind of by accident/out of habit since I was running late.) I have noticed a really significant increase in energy and better mood in the mornings since I started making myself eat breakfast before work, so I'm definitely on the right track here. My routine really fell apart over the weekend. It seems like this happens more when I feel stressed and overwhelmed by needing to do a lot of things. I had one thing that I really wanted to finish (writing up a lore guide for a RPG I'm doing with my friends) that took a lot longer than I expected, and I got fixated on that. I stayed up super late on Saturday trying to finish it. Then my sleep schedule was ruined for the rest of the weekend. I realized that I was putting off doing some other overwhelming things, like taxes and dealing with a jury duty summons, by focusing on the fun thing. But Sunday afternoon, when I finished the lore guide, I had even more things to do because I had put off weekend chores! I'm very tired this morning, but I've realized one other thing that I think is an important realization. The way I feel now used to by my "normal" for Monday mornings and Friday mornings, my two most off-schedule days of the week. But over the last 5 weeks or so, when I've mostly stuck to my routine, I haven't felt this bad. So the routine is working, and worth maintaining!
  7. That's definitely been true for me. I thought I was fairly in tune with my body until I started trying to listen to my hunger signals. Then I started noticing a bunch of other signals that I'd been ignoring, like chronic sleep deprivation and dehydration. I'm not so sure it can or should be a "totally natural" act. Maybe some day in the distant future, when we all become zen masters who are 100% integrated with our bodies. For now, I think it's okay to have to think about it a little bit. You notice that you need to eat something, and you think about it. Feel it out. What do I need to eat right now? What sounds good? It might be the candy, it might be the salad. It might be something you don't have on hand, and then you have to make do. This process is probably not going to be something that happens automatically. At least, that's how I'm defining "intuitive" eating for myself. The intuition is in listening to my body, feeling out what it actually wants. It's not instinctual eating, it's intuitive. And since my brain is part of my body, eating for emotional reasons can be valid, too. If I intuit that eating a favorite food is the easiest way to sooth myself after a stressful situation, that might be well worth it! But at the same time, if I realize that the stress-relief food is going to make me feel a bit sick and bloated, then I need to find an alternative. So that's what I'm trying to do... as far as how well I'm doing it, well... I'm trying. A lot of the time, I get to the "I'm hungry" part and look around for the nearest snack, rather than really asking myself what my body is telling me it needs. And sometimes, I know what I need (fresh fruit and veg) but I have none on hand, so I just go with sugary dried fruit or something similar. So I can improve my nutrition by making better snack options available to myself, but I have to put in the effort to actually do that.
  8. Hmm. She takes an almost... animistic approach. Like your home is a living organism that you are in a symbiotic relationship with. If you take care of it, it also takes care of you. (By being an environment conducive to doing the things you want to do, being a place for you to de-stress, and protecting your stuff, etc.) She doesn't really say it like that, but that's the message I got out of it. Like I said, it sounds kind of strange. But I did find that by thinking about the living environment as being one big "organism", it did change my viewpoint and approach to taking care of it. And the other big part about her method is getting rid of everything that isn't essential to the core of who you are. She calls it "sparking joy". You go through all of your stuff, and ask "does this spark joy for me"? The idea being, if it's something you're holding on to out of guilt or peer pressure, of it's just junk that you never use, the remove it from your life. Fill your house just with the things that make you happy; cut out the things that weigh you down. It does get a little odd for things like socks and cleaning supplies. I'm not exactly joyous about a bottle of Lysol, but I do like that it cleans up cat vomit, so I guess that's a kind of joy, too. For you, I'm not sure what the result of such a method would be. On the one hand, you're already struggling to be in harmony with your own body and tend its needs, so a whole apartment? Thinking of it as an extension of your body may not do any good for you. And on the other hand, if you really got rid of everything that wasn't sparking joy for you... I wonder how much stuff would be left? It's a really fascinating experience to try to seriously apply her method, because you end up learning about what you actually care about and what's just there because "that's what you're supposed to have".
  9. Ahahah... I can relate to this a little too much. I had the exact same situation a couple of weeks ago, except that I at least didn't try to fix my own broken shower and make things worse. But I spent a frantic evening cleaning up the house so that when the plumber arrived it looked like a normal residence and not some kind of squatter's dwelling. In regards to decluttering, have you seen the Netflix show "Tidying up with Marie Kondo"? I have been passingly familiar with the "KonMari method" for a while, but her new show really explained it in a way that makes sense to me. I was inspired to apply her principals to cleaning out my closet, and then folding everything in my dresser drawers so that I can actually see what I have left to wear at all times. She seems a little "out there" in her approach, but I can't argue with the results.
  10. Jett

    Jett's Same Old Routine

    Well, the issue is that I'm constantly re-adjusting my sleep schedule. I've tried just letting it run however it wants (during periods of unemployement or self-employment) and I run on a longer-than-24-hours schedule naturally. So if I have to conform to a regular schedule, I'm literally constantly "jetlagged". That's why using light therapy and melatonin are the cornerstones of my schedule, to do as much as I can to force my circadian rhythm to reset on a daily basis. I've been using melatonin for quite a while now, probably about 5 years, and thankfully it's still quite effective for me. I actually had to drop my dose from 10mg to 5mg once I got over the worst of my insomnia, because I found the 10mg a bit too effective. As for safety, I'm not sure if there's any issue. I am aware of the usual concerns about taking melatonin supplements and then being in bright light causing depression, and I'm careful about that. The only real concern I have is that it's possible that my natural production of melatonin might be lessened due to always getting it as a supplement. I definitely do notice a difference in how easily I fall asleep with it, vs when I don't take it, but I don't know if that difficulty is higher than before I started having insomnia. At any rate, it's still working, and it helps me a lot, so I'm going to keep doing it unless I find a reason not to.
  11. Jett

    Jett's Same Old Routine

    Hi, Druids! Still hanging out here because I'm still working on more of an inner discipline/self-improvement challenge! Last challenge I managed to create and stick with a regular schedule for the first time in my adult life. After living that for a month, I have a few tweaks to add to it, and some things I want to flesh out a bit. This is the schedule I want to keep for this challenge: 7:30 AM: Wake up. Turn on sun lamp. 8:15 AM: Exercise with wife (yoga or weight lifting) 9:00 AM: Breakfast, then leave for work. 1:00 PM: Lunch (30 min) - Do DuoLingo. 6:30 PM: Head home (arrive ~7:15). 7:30 PM: Eat dinner. 8:00 PM: Go for a walk with wife. 8:20 PM: Free time (TV, hobbies, art, gaming) - use blue light blocking glasses 9:45 PM: Take melatonin. Get ready for bed. 10:30 PM: Bed time. The biggest change here is that I'm going to try to work out in the morning, and walk in the evening. It seems to take me about 45 minutes to get ready from waking up to ready to walk out the door. I also want to leave 45 minutes for exercising and then showering/whatever afterward. Since I need to leave for work at 9 AM, that means waking up at 7:30 AM, half an hour earlier than I am now. Which means the end of the day has to shift a little to compensate. I think the sense of accomplishment and physical benefits of regularly doing yoga and lifting will make the earlier bed time worth it! I should also mention that I'm not going to start lifting until I start taking testosterone. I've been told that once I start, I will quickly see some major changes re: energy and hunger. So I'm going to need to adapt to that once I do start, which should be in 2-3 weeks. So the latter half of the challenge should be... interesting. There's an order of priority in keeping my schedule, with the highest priority being "stuff that has to happen every day no matter what": 1. Wake with sun lamp at 7:30 AM; take melatonin and get ready for bed by 10:00 PM 2. Eat breakfast before leaving home; eat lunch by 1:00 PM 3. Some form of exercise in the morning 4. Nightly walk; use free time constructively A change in focus this time around is on eating in a regular schedule. With sleep more generally managed than before, I became aware that my eating habits are all over the place. And I'm developing a worrying habit of skipping breakfast and then "putting off" lunch as late as possible - usually after 2pm. The worst part about that is that when I finally do eat, I can't seem to get properly full unless I eat something very heavy in fat and carbs. Also, I just feel terrible, with headaches and lightheadedness. Why am I doing this to myself? So eating regularly is priority 2 now, almost as important as book-ending my sleep time with rhythm-resetting light/hormone cues. Because food also resets the rhythm, and because this quasi "intermittent fasting" thing isn't doing me any favors. (And skipping meals is going to be a LOT worse on me once I start adjusting to a male metabolism! So I gotta nip this in the bud now.) EDIT: And I forgot to add the other important challenge I need to do: Hydration! For now, I am making it a goal to fill and then drink my entire 1.5 liter water bottle every day (including weekends!!) I think part of my low energy/feeling like crap issues are coming from chronic dehydration. I don't look forward to peeing 20 times a day, but it needs to happen. And another, "softer" focus is on using my free time in a more constructive manner. I have about an hour and a half every evening to do whatever, but it mostly gets used to watching TV or YouTube videos. So I've created a loose weekly schedule of what to do each day during that evening time. TV time is still on there, but so is painting with my wife (one of her favorite hobbies) and days where I play video games (a hobby I miss). My hope is that I'll appreciate my free time more if I actually use it for hobbies I like.